Everybody on the Tube
is twitching & fiddling
today. Take the old man
sitting opposite me,
for instance. His hands
are possessed by some
unseen spirit, twiddling
the knobs on his briefcase.
And then there's this:
A quartet of newspapers
rustle to and fro, eyelids
blink messages to each
other, adverts curl up
in an unmade bed.
And I am calm, waiting
for that hit to fill my body
and push me
away
The first Autumn rain falls,
dragging a bestiary
of unwelcome insects inside
the house. Another unwelcome
distraction for the typewriter
stammering as its mistress
dictates telepathically
her manuscript
that will, luck pending, put her
on the New York Times bestseller
list and whisk her away to fame,
parties and a chance meeting
with some young unknown
Hollywood actor who likes Capote,
stamps with butterfly designs
and collecting jellyfish.
Either that or its pages will burn
in the hands of the first editor
who reads them - another story
meant to be passed down
through genes, not the lips
of people who will only stare
and ask
You are here somewhere,
tucked behind mountains
zig-zagging like wolves teeth
across the image, drooling
to watch a pair of stars
being slowly torn apart
by a pack of hungry moons
and you just standing there
with your camera, waiting
for that moment for them
to stop and tell your future
in that flash before the end. As if.
the best salsa is sold on t he aisle
near the fresh produce; all the Mexican
food is there. They have an allotment,
one partition with three shelves,
and just one side at that,
tomatillos and mango nectar in cans
with lables more expressive
than Old El Paso ever thought of being
and my imagination goes wild
concocting recipes with chocolate sauce
pepitas, and chunks of roasted pork
it is a scam, the specialy food business
teh good stuff is practically hidden
the real tortillas, authentic chiccarrones
sauces prepared in provinces with names
I cannot pronounce...local flavor
pronounced Her-dez
authenticity in a can
It is the beginning of August.
Rain pilots have not flown
their jets across the sky
for several weeks now
and it is slowly mirroring
the skin on my chest, legs
and forehead. Parched,
peeling. Soon I will start
going to church and pray
for cold. I will sin to upset
the gods and force them
to release squadrons.
And when it falls, I will stand
outside and feel it stripping
away everything I kept hidden.
I can't swim.
I could when I was a kid
but now taking a plunge
is like falling into a shark cage
holding my breath
whilst waiting for the inevitable
nip, the final bite that will end the beat
of my heart.
I prefer skinny dipping
my toes in the foam
at the edge of black sand
where dry meets wet
and the mirage of floating
is nothing more than a long-forgotten
nightmare. But I beach-comb
to find a sparkle - not rubbed glass,
a sparkle from fallen stars
so that I may trample them
because wishing upon stars
is a lie.
Immaculately coiffured blond
curls hang weightless
on the horizon, attached
not to some Hollywood hunk
but earth, waiting for cameras
and feet to be absorbed
into its mass.
There is goodbye in his walk
though he returns daily.
Soon he'll walk out,
wander off to make his own way
in a world different to here,
filled with one woman
and all the love she storms
upon him.
Each morning I say goodbye
stretching my heart
with love, loss, love, loss beats
so that when he has gone
the muscle spasms will be eased,
will be well taught,
well learnt,
well elasticated,
so that one Summer's day,
he will return.
In an ideal world,
I'd never hide a thing
from you
and we'd be as open
as newborn stars,
letting everything shine
in awkward brilliance.
And I would never fear
what it is
you and I have secreted away,
or why I cover up
so many of my insecurities,
or what truths may be misconstrued.
Because I want to be faithful
as the oldest stars,
those that guide you
on the darkest seas,
the trust that holds
the Rosetta
and opens up understanding.
And when your fingers
brush away the dust,
tracing the fine lines
of this soul as you learn
the rhymes and reasons,
I only want
that brilliance returned,
that we may live
without fear.
Something about the bull
in the rodeo reminded me
of you. It wasn't its ring,
horns or black coat,
nor the way it charged,
a cloud intent on striking
lightning at some poor sap.
When it had given up,
I saw your sins scattered
in the air and you, panting,
ready for the final charge,
knowing there would be none.