How to spicing up marriage?

[MH2024hot]

Once I decided to explore the fantasy with her, she was all in for it! She loved me talking about it. Of course, I can only draw from that well so often, so we don't discuss it much. But it's such a turn-on. I use the same language--how much guys find her attractive, how any guy would love to get with her and touch her and feel her. She loves that stuff. I think a fake dating profile could be hot, you guys could look at it together and she could even picture some of the guys fucking her while you weave the fantasy for her. Good luck with this! I hope you let us know how it goes.

Long Update: I wrote her another letter (she likes it when I write about this stuff) and I laid it all out there again: that I want to jerk off to a porn mag in Vegas and cum all over the pages while she watches and encourages me. This is the woman who a decade ago thought porn destroyed marriages. She is a dyed in the wool,very committed and religious woman.

I also wrote that I bought sex toys for both of us, that I liked masturbating to women using them and it turns me on. I also wrote that I wanted her to try oral sex on me (and specifically admitted that I've watched videos of two women giving a guy a blow job).

Finally, I told her that I'm still writing our adult story BUT that I want complete freedom to be very naughty about the story. She earlier said in a half serious way that she was ok with me writing a story but "no three way sex" but I'm now trying to push back on that a bit. I said "it's just a story, we will be fine."

Her response: A big smile and a comment about how it's sweet what I wrote in my conclusion about wanting a new start on prioritizing each other and sex. Wow. Wow. Wow.

She then asked about buying a magazine and I admitted that I already essentially made one (ha, I spent about 20 hours over last 7 months collecting my top 30 pics and pasting in Word, I didn't tell her that though ha). I truthfully told her a porn magazine is hit or miss, too many young women and I prefer more mature. Again, she's smiling, and very relaxed as I said I found my own pics which progress from sexy women to lingerie pics to fully naked.

I told her she didn't need to feel any competition. She suggested with a smile that I should digitally alter her face on the pics of women with big breasts and I said "sure, I'd jack off to that". (I could do that with AI. But I will take that for a future possibility.)

Then I said I'd love to have a magazine of her that I could masturbate to and she looked serious and said "ya, but who would take the pics, I wouldn't want a guy to."

OMG, I'm literally having this conversation with my wife as she then briefly changes subject about what she's going to pack, then she starts talking about church tomorrow and some ministry she's helping with. Then back to dildos I bought. Wonderful. She's completely at ease.

So...it's on. I'll be cumming on porn stars in a matter of days with my wife (which is what I want v doing it alone); watching my wife fuck a very realistic, veiny and circumcised looking dick that I bought (it's a bit bigger than me) and I'll be getting a nice blow job. I'm excited.

This is the fruition of years of hoping, fear, set backs and frustration. My "masturbating to porn" reveal started in Feb, that's when I went for it and just told her the truth.

I told her she's very kind and good to me and thank you. Now she's just relaxing watching something on Netflix.

 

[aziegmann]

Starting a convo about sexual fantasies can be super fun! I’d suggest easing into it by asking open-ended questions like, "What’s something you’ve always wanted to try?" This keeps it light and inviting. You can definitely bring up what you’d like to explore, but make sure it feels like a team effort.

In my experience, it’s best when both partners share—maybe one starts, but it should flow both ways. We’ve had the best chats over a glass of wine, laughing and being open, which helps the vibe stay relaxed!

She has done this to me a few times, always with open questions related to an open relationship, but always in a joking tone of voice, which made me feel uncertain about what she really wants.

As she always catches me by surprise (she did this once when we were in a mall), the conversation never developed, but I'm working mentally to change that and see how it goes.

Your suggestion is great and I will certainly take it into consideration.

 

[staylate]

Long Update: I wrote her another letter (she likes it when I write about this stuff) and I laid it all out there again: that I want to jerk off to a porn mag in Vegas and cum all over the pages while she watches and encourages me. This is the woman who a decade ago thought porn destroyed marriages. She is a dyed in the wool,very committed and religious woman.

I also wrote that I bought sex toys for both of us, that I liked masturbating to women using them and it turns me on. I also wrote that I wanted her to try oral sex on me (and specifically admitted that I've watched videos of two women giving a guy a blow job).

Finally, I told her that I'm still writing our adult story BUT that I want complete freedom to be very naughty about the story. She earlier said in a half serious way that she was ok with me writing a story but "no three way sex" but I'm now trying to push back on that a bit. I said "it's just a story, we will be fine."

Her response: A big smile and a comment about how it's sweet what I wrote in my conclusion about wanting a new start on prioritizing each other and sex. Wow. Wow. Wow.

She then asked about buying a magazine and I admitted that I already essentially made one (ha, I spent about 20 hours over last 7 months collecting my top 30 pics and pasting in Word, I didn't tell her that though ha). I instead told her a porn magazine is hit or miss, too many young women and I prefer more mature. Again, she's smiling, and very relaxed as I said I found my own pics which progress from sexy women to lingerie pics to fully naked.

I told her she didn't need to feel any competition. She suggested with a smile that I should digitally alter her face on the pics of women with big breasts and I said "sure, I'd jack off to that". (I could do that with AI. But I will take that for a future possibility.)

Then I said I'd love to have a magazine of her that I could masturbate to and she looked serious and said "ya, but who would take the pics, I wouldn't want a guy to."

OMG, I'm literally having this conversation with my wife as she then briefly changes subject about what she's going to pack, then she starts talking about church tomorrow and some ministry she's helping with. Then back to dildos I bought. Wonderful. She's completely at ease.

So...it's on. I'll be cumming on porn stars in a matter of days with my wife (which is what I want v doing it alone); watching my wife fuck a very realistic, veiny and circumcised looking dick that I bought (it's a bit bigger than me) and I'll be getting a nice blow job. I'm excited.

This is the fruition of years of hoping, fear, set backs and frustration. My "magazine jack off" plan started in Feb.

I told her she's very kind and good to me and thank you. Now she's just relaxing watching something on Netflix.

What a wonderful update! I'm so glad you both made strides in your comfort levels: you with what you're willing to share, and her with what she's willing to entertain. Thanks for giving us the update!

 

[Bigboobbabe]

Do you think you can handle my high sexual drive?

If I can't, you will never find a one woman who can.

 

[hulmule]

If I can't, you will never find a one woman who can.

humm sign me up...

 

[MH2024hot]

What a wonderful update! I'm so glad you both made strides in your comfort levels: you with what you're willing to share, and her with what she's willing to entertain. Thanks for giving us the update!

New update.

What a wonderful update! I'm so glad you both made strides in your comfort levels: you with what you're willing to share, and her with what she's willing to entertain. Thanks for giving us the update!

More Updates:

We consummated the fantasy! She was curious about the sex toys and pics, I had them hidden in my suitcase but she peeked anyway. She was thinking about it and curious.

I had also written out some note cards about fantasies: (I want her to dress very revealing when we walk around at the club, to buy something out of character for her (she's open to it); that I would like to masturbate to pics of her in a magazine (just to emphasize my habit and incorporate her); and that she should point out other men she finds attractive (she was good with that, too).

Then we briefly flipped through the pics and she had a big smile on her face, like pleasantly shocked at her husband, very "oh, myyyy, wow."

Then I massaged her for about 20 min and after she was aroused, I played and fingered her over and over again and she came very very nicely. She was enjoying it (and I wanted her to orgasm after seeing my pics.)

She then volunteered for me to jerk off to my pics but I instead had her get on top of me and I really rubbed her out, she completely unloaded several times, moaning cursing. I was about to cum myself and she could tell, so wouldn't you believe it but she said "wait wait, not yet" and quickly got off me and grabbed my pics and said "do it baby." I then told her I wanted her to pick which ones for me to masturbate to and she said "oh, so that's how you want it!" She knew exactly what was going on: not only was I doing something very naughty but she was completely part of it now. She picked Lela Star, Sunny Leone and Veronica Zemonova looking all nice, nude and sultry and I stroked my cock and proceeded to tell her I knew their names, that I masturbated lots of times to each of them and how much I enjoyed watching them. Then I burst all over the pics, talked really dirty and my wife had a big smile the whole time. She totally encouraged me, this little church wife.

Part 2 is tonight. I want her fucking my sex toys, to tell me which one feels most like another cock. We will see how that goes.

 

[staylate]

New update.

More Updates:

We consummated the fantasy! She was curious about the sex toys and pics, I had them hidden in my suitcase but she peeked anyway. She was thinking about it and curious.

I had also written out some note cards about fantasies: (I want her to dress very revealing when we walk around at the club, to buy something out of character for her (she's open to it); that I would like to masturbate to pics of her in a magazine (just to emphasize my habit and incorporate her); and that she should point out other men she finds attractive (she was good with that, too).

Then we briefly flipped through the pics and she had a big smile on her face, like pleasantly shocked at her husband, very "oh, myyyy, wow."

Then I massaged her for about 20 min and after she was aroused, I played and fingered her over and over again and she came very very nicely. She was enjoying it (and I wanted her to orgasm after seeing my pics.)

She then volunteered for me to jerk off to my pics but I instead had her get on top of me and I really rubbed her out, she completely unloaded several times, moaning cursing. I was about to cum myself and she could tell, so wouldn't you believe it but she said "wait wait, not yet" and quickly got off me and grabbed my pics and said "do it baby." I then told her I wanted her to pick which ones for me to masturbate to and she said "oh, so that's how you want it!" She knew exactly what was going on: not only was I doing something very naughty but she was completely part of it now. She picked Lela Star, Sunny Leone and Veronica Zemonova looking all nice, nude and sultry and I stroked my cock and proceeded to tell her I knew their names, that I masturbated lots of times to each of them and how much I enjoyed watching them. Then I burst all over the pics, talked really dirty and my wife had a big smile the whole time. She totally encouraged me, this little church wife.

Part 2 is tonight. I want her fucking my sex toys, to tell me which one feels most like another cock. We will see how that goes.

Holy cow!! What an amazing experience! That's so great that she's opened up so much and is so willing to indulge herself in your fantasies. I can't wait to hear about the sex toys! I might have to check out some of these models, too.
I love how she's willing to point out guys she thinks are hot. I ask my wife that sometimes and it really turns me on.

 

[MH2024hot]

Same here. Love the idea of her eyeing up other men. The whole "I'm only attracted to you" thing she says is sweet but a crock. Just tell me when you have that second look, fleeting physical attraction. That's better than keeping these secret moments from each other and openly discussing when this happens can open up conversation about arousal and fantasy.

So I introduced two toys. A big bad 8 inch cock which was a no go. Ha. I had to give it a shot.

But also bought a $90 6-inch veiny cock with a nice circumcised head and flexible. Very life-like, literally looks like an another man's cock in her. She orgasmed three times with it (I was trying to just rub her on the outside and she immediately mounted it and just shoved it in there, geesh - love it) and after she remarked how it felt good. That's a huge huge win after years of her downplaying using any toys.

Next morning I suggested another magazine jerk off and she was totally down with it. I flipped through each page, said what I liked about the babes, started stroking myself with her standing naked behind me and embracing me, and then I spurted a big load of cum all over a page featuring two porn stars. As my breath quickened I went out of my way to say what I like about each of them and confessed to shooting cum all over myself alone while secretly staring at these same pics some years ago. I got loud and talking dirty. My wife was totally all smiles. Very relaxed. Then we got dressed and went for breakfast.

Mind you, this is the same woman who heard a series on porn in our church earlier in the year and was originally trying to grill me on whether I still looked at it (which led to my defense of erotica as different than "porn"). Now she's my jerk off partner. I kept the pics pretty soft core. Solo babes in various states of undress, some fully nude and masturbating. I believe in small steps so as not to shock her too much.

 

[staylate]

I love the idea of her riding that cock! It's so hot that she just grabbed it and put it in. My wife has a similar one to the second one you described, but she doesn't use it often. I like watching her play with it, but I prefer her to use her fingers (not that I complain either way, of course). Her journey sounds so sexy, I'm glad you got her to take it!

 

[LookN2Talk]

My wife is multiorgasmic no matter the manner. Prior to marriage my wife surprised me with being a wild crazy anal romping girl who massively orgasmed from it. I was blown away, shocked, and of course in love with sex with her. Then on our honeymoon she hit the roof with her orgasms vaginally. She said she had never experienced that and we quickly discovered when combining the two her orgasms were so explosive we had the resort admin contacting us about the noise level. Reminding them we were on our honeymoon and that we specifically had requested the honeymoon residence for the purpose of having our honeymoon there. I ended with a long drawn out, "Honey.....Mooooooooon!" The girl on the phone went, "OH!" Never had another call from them but noticed people were being moved from near us. My wife continued as loud as she wished.

For years we have had amazing top notch explosive sex. Overtime busy lives took over, opposite work schedules, children, their scheduled, sports, oh my gosh at the ubering, you know how it is, marriage and of course sex takes a big back seat and things begin to go down hill from there.

After years of the same ole same ole as what I read here, about how little sex guys get, how sad it is, bad it is, and so on - and it gets pretty lonely for certain, we weathered the rough parts making it through. The biggest break through was the entrance of 2 incredible toys for her - Lush2 and Straponme Realistic Dildo (small to begin with). My wife had forgotten the amazing orgasms she'd had, no kidding, as stellar as she always claimed them to be she couldn't remember them. When we first tried the Lush she was less than 2 minutes into getting a feel for it when she hit her first of 14 orgasms back to back practically nonstop. She was screaming sex, telling me things she hadn't told me in years, had me doing things we hadn't done in years. She was down right Frothy!

Wahooooooo, my baby and I were baaaaaaaaaacckkkkkkkk! Thank goodness for finding the right toys. I never would have imagined things would be better than ever but Oh MY WOW! I agree with so many here, toys add a new needed dimension. I cannot imagine not playing in this manner. We have since added many more amazing toys and the sex gets even more fun. The creativity is endless with the wonderful safe toys being produced these days. Kudos to all you manufacturers for the large variety of body safe toys. I highly recommend them to everyone, even if you are alone. Yes we watch each other but have discovered the joys of newer levels of self pleasure since adding toys which in turn has brought us back to clearer understanding our own bodies and working together better.

 

[curioustxn]

I think she is, but one day, after sex, she told me about being curious about what it would be like to receive oral sex from another woman, even though she knew she wasn't a lesbian.

She only told me this once, and I remember asking her if she would be comfortable with it, and she said she couldn't answer me without trying. She also said she would only do it with a woman who was more masculine-minded, not someone who was too delicate or anything like that.

You posted: "one day, after sex, she told me about being curious about what it would be like to receive oral sex from another woman, even though she knew she wasn't a lesbian."

The best way I have found to get a woman to listen to *your* fantasies, is to get her to talk about *her* fantasies first.

One night when she is horny and having sex, you might ask: "I remember that you once said you were curious about receiving oral from another woman, do you still sometimes fantasize about that?"

Not to get her to do it, but just to get her thinking and talking about it. The more she talks about her own fantasizes, the more receptive she will be to your fantasies.

Over time, the more excited she gets about fantasies, (both yours and hers), the more receptive she will be to actually acting on those fantasies.

The point is to get her excited about sharing fantasizes, and perhaps even role-playing a few of those fantasies in the bedroom, then encourage her to grow sexually and explore a few of those fantasies,

 

[OlderBtm4U]

What if she claims to have no fantasies. Or interest?

 

[LookN2Talk]

What if she claims to have no fantasies. Or interest?

My wife went through that phase. It's hard. I'd say one of the hardest things I've ever had to go through. I love her, adore her, want her, want to do anything with her and ehhhhh, pweeewwww, or worst ... nothing. That was the interest level. I think the disinterest is the worst. I learned to move on without her in the self pleasure area much like many of you guys here, still it's super lonely. I finally had to overcome it with a vivid imagination and act as though she was a part of every single thing I did. Talk about living in a fantasy land, but it worked. Then after a few weeks of nothing, super busy with work and travel I came home wanting something, anything. She was still okay...whatever, let me know, ho hum. I felt as thought I could have stayed away forever and she'd not have missed me. I snapped out of it and said what the heck. I have 9 days off and I am going to live it up. I set up several rooms with different sex ideas and each day went at it as though she was 100% involved. I told her ahead of time what I was up too and asked her to join if she felt up to it. She poked her head in once in a while at the beginning. By day 4 I was walking and sitting around in very little. I grew bolder in my scenarios which caught more of her attention. Day 6 she was watching, listening, moving around to see what I was doing. Day 7 she would ask questions. Day 8 she touched, felt around, wanted to know why I chose each scenario, and would I do them in in more of a realistic world setting if she gave me the okay. Day 9 she was asking me to do things. She told me that she was glad I was upfront, not holding back, and took care of what I needed to take care of yet still offering for her to be included even when she wasn't. Soon after we added sex toys for her, she had snapped out of her zombie like mode. I have no idea why she snapped out all I know is that finally after a very log hiatus my girl was back! She still tells me, "I have no fantasies but it is okay, you have plenty enough for the both of us." I much rather prefer reality, except a few of the ones she asked about making real, those were the overly turned on me. I prefer her, reality with her, what we do. It took a while to get her back but in the mean while I did what I needed to do.

 

[Exploringwife46]

You have to access the risk. It my case, I would love to broach the subject but after hinting about it, it's pretty clear it wouldn't go over well.

Trust your intuition. Consider the rammifcation and then make the best educated decision. In most cases you know what the respond would be without having to ask.

 

[MH2024hot]

I love the idea of her riding that cock! It's so hot that she just grabbed it and put it in. My wife has a similar one to the second one you described, but she doesn't use it often. I like watching her play with it, but I prefer her to use her fingers (not that I complain either way, of course). Her journey sounds so sexy, I'm glad you got her to take it!

It was surreal, her literally watching me jerk off to porn stars, listening to me describe how often I masturbated, telling her their names. She was so natural about it and the next day too. Completely unphased. No guilt, just her normal sweet self. I was so nervous revealing this fantasy in the beginning of the year and it all went incredibly.

 

[MH2024hot]

You have to access the risk. It my case, I would love to broach the subject but after hinting about it, it's pretty clear it wouldn't go over well.

Trust your intuition. Consider the rammifcation and then make the best educated decision. In most cases you know what the respond would be without having to ask.

Totally agree on the risk. I had to build up to it. Took a long time and there was lots of discussion at the dinner table beforehand in addition to pillow talk. I think it was important for us to talk about it right after church (given her strong faith)

She never would have initiated this sexual exploration. But that's part of the risk taking. I kept hoping she would grow sexually but I finally realized that was the fantasy, and her initiating this kind of sexual growth was never going to happen.

But I also had to adjust my plan. Watching Full on porn and getting into an explicit 3 way fantasy would be awesome but I knew it would be too much for her starting out. So I went with soft core erotica and made a point to use the sex toy as my three way fantasy (I talked dirty about liking her fuck another big "cock" v saying I liked the idea of her fucking another "man". It's semantics but it's necessary for her at this point. But I did broach the topic of her telling me when she sees other men that are attractive).

 

[maxwellq]

I love the idea of her riding that cock! It's so hot that she just grabbed it and put it in. My wife has a similar one to the second one you described, but she doesn't use it often. I like watching her play with it, but I prefer her to use her fingers (not that I complain either way, of course). Her journey sounds so sexy, I'm glad you got her to take it!

As part of my efforts to spice up our lovemaking, I bought a very realistic, lifelike dildo for my wife. She doesn’t use it very often, but when she does with both of us fantasizing that I am watching her fucking another man it is incredibly hot, intensely exciting for her and for me and results in awesome orgasms for us both.

 

[MH2024hot]

What kind did you get? I used to get slim and smooth but then I went for lifelike. This is one of three silicone I bought my wife. It's a little thicker than me and I love that well cut tip, and veiny shaft. She's fucking another man in my mind. Absolutely nothing left to the imagination. It's a cock and not me!!

 

[MH2024hot]

My wife went through that phase. It's hard. I'd say one of the hardest things I've ever had to go through. I love her, adore her, want her, want to do anything with her and ehhhhh, pweeewwww, or worst ... nothing. That was the interest level. I think the disinterest is the worst. I learned to move on without her in the self pleasure area much like many of you guys here, still it's super lonely. I finally had to overcome it with a vivid imagination and act as though she was a part of every single thing I did. Talk about living in a fantasy land, but it worked. Then after a few weeks of nothing, super busy with work and travel I came home wanting something, anything. She was still okay...whatever, let me know, ho hum. I felt as thought I could have stayed away forever and she'd not have missed me. I snapped out of it and said what the heck. I have 9 days off and I am going to live it up. I set up several rooms with different sex ideas and each day went at it as though she was 100% involved. I told her ahead of time what I was up too and asked her to join if she felt up to it. She poked her head in once in a while at the beginning. By day 4 I was walking and sitting around in very little. I grew bolder in my scenarios which caught more of her attention. Day 6 she was watching, listening, moving around to see what I was doing. Day 7 she would ask questions. Day 8 she touched, felt around, wanted to know why I chose each scenario, and would I do them in in more of a realistic world setting if she gave me the okay. Day 9 she was asking me to do things. She told me that she was glad I was upfront, not holding back, and took care of what I needed to take care of yet still offering for her to be included even when she wasn't. Soon after we added sex toys for her, she had snapped out of her zombie like mode. I have no idea why she snapped out all I know is that finally after a very log hiatus my girl was back! She still tells me, "I have no fantasies but it is okay, you have plenty enough for the both of us." I much rather prefer reality, except a few of the ones she asked about making real, those were the overly turned on me. I prefer her, reality with her, what we do. It took a while to get her back but in the mean while I did what I needed to do.

That's an amazing story. Love your creativity. And determination!

 

[Easypeter]

What kind did you get? I used to get slim and smooth but then I went for lifelike. This is one of three silicone I bought my wife. It's a little thicker than me and I love that well cut tip, and veiny shaft. She's fucking another man in my mind. Absolutely nothing left to the imagination. It's a cock and not me!!

View attachment 2425245

I love knowing my wife has the same one . She’ll be using it when I get out of the shower. She’ll whisper to me that she’s full and needs me to eat her