"To keep the review thread clean..."

[Matryoshka]

Notice that "old" poems don't get much exposure. Stories seem to get a bit more of a long tail, with readers finding them through tags, the search page, and so on, but as far as I can tell this isn't true with poems. I guess I'm the only one who prefers going through the submissions page, entry by entry. The poetry hubs are a mess, four to five days and PUFF, the "new" poem goes into limbo.

My point is, if you're making big modifications, and want people to look at them again, it might be worthwhile to remove them, and then sub it again, such that they go into the new poems page again.

How do you remove? Sending a pm to a moderator?

 

[Tsotha]

How do you remove? Sending a pm to a moderator?

Hm... Good question. I think I've read about people getting all their stories/poems taken down with a PM. But I think you can remove poems just as you edit them — that is, resubmit with REMOVE added to the title and a note explaining what you want to do. In essence, the submission page is a shortcut to send a message to Laurel to get stuff done on your submissions page.

At this point, however, I'm hoping that someone who has actually edited / removed something before can confirm this info.

 

[pelegrino]

Hm... Good question. I think I've read about people getting all their stories/poems taken down with a PM. But I think you can remove poems just as you edit them — that is, resubmit with REMOVE added to the title and a note explaining what you want to do. In essence, the submission page is a shortcut to send a message to Laurel to get stuff done on your submissions page.

At this point, however, I'm hoping that someone who has actually edited / removed something before can confirm this info.

I got a real gripe:
The submissions page cannot contain long titles.
I just submitted something called THE MILF, THE BITCH, THE PSYCHOBITCH which will appear as THE MILF, THE BITCH, THE PSYCHOBITC
I tried to edit and re-submit but that's even worse as the word "EDITED" has to be included on the edited version.
What can I do about that?

You can put a note in the note box when you resubmit and say what you want the title to be and that this is an edited copy of an already submitted poem. Also tell them the title your poem is currently submitted under. That way they will know that you are submitting edited copy and should not use "Edited" in the title. I don't know if there is a limit to the number of characters in a title. There might be. If you raise that question on the Editor's forum, I'll bet someone there knows.

I had a similar problem which I quote from another thread together with Angeline's suggestions. The word "remove" would add one more word to the title and if the title is long the problem may re-occur, but putting a note in the note box explaining exactly what you want is bound to work better. I have edited one or two of mine and re-submitted them and all went smooth, but in some others that the title was too long it did not work and they still stand submitted twice. I have not tried to solve it as per Angeline's suggestion yet, but it seems logical and should work.

 

[greenmountaineer]

Thanks to Ash, 1201, and Old Bear for taking the time to comment on "The Trogloraptors." I took a risk with this one, and it's apparent that I didn't establish that it was a parody on the many modern poetry movements as well as the stranglehold that academia has over what is "good poetry."

I'll probably re-work it in the "30 Edits in 30 Days" Challenge and would welcome any further feedback as I believe it still has potential to be a good poem.

 

[Ashesh9]

Thank You , twelve-0- one for commentin' 'n Fivin' " Electoral Regime Change "

 

[Angeline]

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

To Harry, Tsotha and Todski for the additional feedback on my poem. A couple of comments~

I still think 12 is right about not doing anything to emphasize "not." If I had used italics, it would have matched the italics in Argentinasaurus, and I think that would be confusing to readers. And the underlining did overemphasize it. The question for me is whether readers would know to emphasize that word from the context alone. I think yes, but of course I think that. I wrote it, so that's how it sounds in my head.

I also think you need a question mark after "hungry" because I want that line to end as a question, which sets up the next line.

Tsotha, I was very interested that you (and tods) wondered about combining humor and something else and whether it made the poem disjointed. I was trying to say something about impermanence in the poem, not so much that dinosaurs became extinct and something better (humans) evolved, but that everything is impermanent. I think what you see as humorous was more an attempt to be ironic on my part.

Anyway I really appreciate the critical feedback as well as the compliments.

 

[Tsotha]

I still think 12 is right about not doing anything to emphasize "not." If I had used italics, it would have matched the italics in Argentinasaurus, and I think that would be confusing to readers. And the underlining did overemphasize it. The question for me is whether readers would know to emphasize that word from the context alone. I think yes, but of course I think that. I wrote it, so that's how it sounds in my head.

They would know where to put the emphasis, I agree. However, when would they create that emphasis, in their minds? Both italics and underlining are graphic cues, it helped me read through with the correct emphasis on my first attempt. But then, I have noticed that I have a tendency for marking words bold for emphasis (I'm sure you remember one such case), so maybe that's just me.

I also think you need a question mark after "hungry" because I want that line to end as a question, which sets up the next line.

Ok, I'm confused — it seemed to me that the first stanza was someone recounting about this new dinosaur, making statements about it... So when the last line comes, it's suddenly a question and that felt strange. Maybe you want only the last line to be a question? In that case, perhaps a period is needed before it?

Tsotha, I was very interested that you (and tods) wondered about combining humor and something else and whether it made the poem disjointed.

It seemed to go different ways with stanze 3 and 4, yes. However, I wouldn't have chosen the word "disjointed", since in my mind it carries a negative connotation. I feel that stanza 3 doesn't quite match the tone of the rest, yet it's probably my favorite stanza. I think... well, that maybe there was more to the poem, but you edited it out. This might be a case where you could use more words, rather than less (imho).

I was trying to say something about impermanence in the poem, not so much that dinosaurs became extinct and something better (humans) evolved, but that everything is impermanent. I think what you see as humorous was more an attempt to be ironic on my part.

Someone's intent going over my head — I'm not surprised. I can see how it could be ironic. I think it is the tone of parts like the 2nd stanza that makes it humorous (to me). Irony would require a bit more... I do not know. Cynicism, perhaps?

Anyway, just my opinion.

 

[Angeline]

...



Ok, I'm confused — it seemed to me that the first stanza was someone recounting about this new dinosaur, making statements about it... So when the last line comes, it's suddenly a question and that felt strange. Maybe you want only the last line to be a question? In that case, perhaps a period is needed before it?

...

I think what is throwing you is maybe that putting a question mark to force the reading of a statement as a question is a colloquialism of English. American English at least. It's an informal way of using the language, so maybe it's not so recognizable as a cue to non-native speakers of English. At least that's what I think.

 

[twelveoone]

Thank You , twelve-0- one for commentin' 'n Fivin' " Electoral Regime Change "

Did you see the Silver elephant?

 

[Neonurotic]

Thank you Ange, NormaJean, Harry, Ash and tazz for their recent comments on my two Illustrated Poems, "Mouth" and "New Perspective"!

 

[pelegrino]

Thank you, greenmountaineer, for your kind comment on "A Dream Of Long Ago".

 

[greenmountaineer]

Thanks to all for commenting on "If Richard's Horse Could Speak," both in New Poems and NPR.

 

[greenmountaineer]

You're jinxed, 1201. I tried to leave a comment on "May 10-11, 2014," but it couldn't be posted for some reason. I'll try again tomorrow.

 

[HarryHill]

You're jinxed, 1201. I tried to leave a comment on "May 10-11, 2014," but it couldn't be posted for some reason. I'll try again tomorrow.

he has voting and comments turned off. I was going to ask about the title.

 

[todski28]

he has voting and comments turned off. I was going to ask about the title.

I think the title is a change up and shrouds the event so prying eyes don't start their carry on. It is a powerful piece and has content they may upset some people.

 

[Ashesh9]

Thank you Pelegrino & Tod for commenting on Source of Riverine Flows & Harry for complimenting Electoral Regime Change

 

[Ashesh9]

Did you see the Silver elephant?

No 12-oh-1 , actually i've heard of White Elephants but not seen The Silver Elephant : is it a Movie by Akira Kurosewa ?

 

[pelegrino]

many thanks to susansnow for favoring my poem "Never The Same Mistakes".

 

[normal jean]

Notice that "old" poems don't get much exposure. Stories seem to get a bit more of a long tail, with readers finding them through tags, the search page, and so on, but as far as I can tell this isn't true with poems. I guess I'm the only one who prefers going through the submissions page, entry by entry. The poetry hubs are a mess, four to five days and PUFF, the "new" poem goes into limbo.

My point is, if you're making big modifications, and want people to look at them again, it might be worthwhile to remove them, and then sub it again, such that they go into the new poems page again.

Re Older poems/exposure-

Many Years ago, there was a poet named Rybka. Some might say a curmudgeon ( me, I called him that and he knew it) it was sort of an affectionate term even though he disliked me until close to his end, when he became a softer gentler poet friend.

Well, he had a thing he did help me remember? Angeline, 1201? Did Rybka do the Spinner daily or weekly....regardless, there is, or was a feature here at lit called the Poetry Spinner. One could press a link and up would come a poem, either old or new, usually old, and Rybka would post it. Sometimes he would say it took a thousand spins ( exaggeration here) to get a decent poem, but it was worth it.

I thought about reviving Rybka's spinner project, just to pick up where he left off because he believed that older poems deserved to be read too. If no one is offended by this idea, ( and I am NOT trying to take over Rybka's memory, just a tribute to it) maybe I or anyone else who would like to volunteer to post an oldie but goodie ever so often....it might be a wee bit easier than deleting and reposting poems, especially if the poet is deceased, as many of the best have gone on to that great anthology in the skye. Blessed be, all of you.

~ nj

 

[todski28]

Re Older poems/exposure-

Many Years ago, there was a poet named Rybka. Some might say a curmudgeon ( me, I called him that and he knew it) it was sort of an affectionate term even though he disliked me until close to his end, when he became a softer gentler poet friend.

Well, he had a thing he did help me remember? Angeline, 1201? Did Rybka do the Spinner daily or weekly....regardless, there is, or was a feature here at lit called the Poetry Spinner. One could press a link and up would come a poem, either old or new, usually old, and Rybka would post it. Sometimes he would say it took a thousand spins ( exaggeration here) to get a decent poem, but it was worth it.

I thought about reviving Rybka's spinner project, just to pick up where he left off because he believed that older poems deserved to be read too. If no one is offended by this idea, ( and I am NOT trying to take over Rybka's memory, just a tribute to it) maybe I or anyone else who would like to volunteer to post an oldie but goodie ever so often....it might be a wee bit easier than deleting and reposting poems, especially if the poet is deceased, as many of the best have gone on to that great anthology in the skye. Blessed be, all of you.

~ nj

Brilliant idea, there is also the archival review by lebroz maybe three pages back with brilliant older works in it.

 

[pelegrino]

Many thanks to SkinandSin for favoring my poem "Gods Don't Die".

 

[greenmountaineer]

Thank you, pelegrino, for your kind comments on "Genvieve."

Thanks also to Tsotha for further comments on "If Richard's Horse Could Speak" and "The Trogloraptors."

 

[pelegrino]

Thanks, Tsotha, for your helpful commenting on "A Long Song I Will Not Write".
You are very right for the 1st verse, 4th line, and I have already changed it in the original as per your suggestion which makes much more formal sense and stressing the personal "I" stronger.

S3L4!
I can appreciate here the readers point of view as you correctly point out that there is a syllable less in this line.
I have this kind of problem with a lot of english syllables containing two vowel sounds but counting as one syllable. It is, I think, my Mediterranean e-ar that makes two syllables of the "ne-ar".
Of course, as a musician, I also always look for opportunities where "melismatic" singing could apply, and such (two vowel) syllables are perfect for this kind of thing. If, one the other hand, I had only one note in a melody without wanting to change it, I could always reverse into strict syllabic singing.
As it stands, though, you are right, the number of syllables is incorrect and I have added the "and" in the original.
Thank you for pointing out all these things, and of been so aware with length of lines, number of syllables and rhythm in general. Yours is always a very musical reading of my efforts.

 

[Tsotha]

Brilliant idea, there is also the archival review by lebroz maybe three pages back with brilliant older works in it.

My name is Tsotha and I approve this idea.

Thanks, Tsotha, for your helpful commenting on "A Long Song I Will Not Write".
You are very right for the 1st verse, 4th line, and I have already changed it in the original as per your suggestion which makes much more formal sense and stressing the personal "I" stronger.

S3L4!
I can appreciate here the readers point of view as you correctly point out that there is a syllable less in this line.
I have this kind of problem with a lot of english syllables containing two vowel sounds but counting as one syllable. It is, I think, my Mediterranean e-ar that makes two syllables of the "ne-ar".
Of course, as a musician, I also always look for opportunities where "melismatic" singing could apply, and such (two vowel) syllables are perfect for this kind of thing. If, one the other hand, I had only one note in a melody without wanting to change it, I could always reverse into strict syllabic singing.
As it stands, though, you are right, the number of syllables is incorrect and I have added the "and" in the original.
Thank you for pointing out all these things, and of been so aware with length of lines, number of syllables and rhythm in general. Yours is always a very musical reading of my efforts.

Pel, I suffer of the same problem. I didn't want to go out and say it, but the way these brits and 'mericans divide their syllables is pure madness. Of course there should be a break between "ne-ar" and "e-ar"... But what can we do, right? I don't know why I was paying attention to the length of your lines, really; I don't normally do it, but I suppose I always think of music when I'm reading your poems, so it makes me keep the metronome going in my head.

 

[Neonurotic]

Re Older poems/exposure-

Many Years ago, there was a poet named Rybka. Some might say a curmudgeon ( me, I called him that and he knew it) it was sort of an affectionate term even though he disliked me until close to his end, when he became a softer gentler poet friend.

Well, he had a thing he did help me remember? Angeline, 1201? Did Rybka do the Spinner daily or weekly....regardless, there is, or was a feature here at lit called the Poetry Spinner. One could press a link and up would come a poem, either old or new, usually old, and Rybka would post it. Sometimes he would say it took a thousand spins ( exaggeration here) to get a decent poem, but it was worth it.

I thought about reviving Rybka's spinner project, just to pick up where he left off because he believed that older poems deserved to be read too. If no one is offended by this idea, ( and I am NOT trying to take over Rybka's memory, just a tribute to it) maybe I or anyone else who would like to volunteer to post an oldie but goodie ever so often....it might be a wee bit easier than deleting and reposting poems, especially if the poet is deceased, as many of the best have gone on to that great anthology in the skye. Blessed be, all of you.

~ nj

I tried to revive Rybka's thread a time or two, but it never stayed on the first page. I'm sure you can get it going again since there seems to be more interest in older poems.

As for LeBroz's thread, you'll find many old poems in there that have since been deleted. That is where I found my old poems after I deleted my user names when I came back from my 2-3 year hiatus.