Daddy's Little Girl: Second Edition

[AlwaysFara]

*peeks*

hi

Hi.
Still trying to figure out why I’m here.

Maybe I just like y’all.

 

[Lost_Yonder]

Greetings from a long hiatus! It's always comforting to pop back into Lit and find this warm and welcoming corner...

As for the rules discussion - I find wiggle room is important, and yes it is hard to say "wiggle" without lapsing into memories of her sitting on my lap! I would also add Rules for the Everyday - ways to help us structure and accomplish some of those more routine and daily chores that we have - from cooking and cleaning, to personal hygiene, to taking time out to relax, breathe, and smell the flowers. Again, fixed rules, particularly with such chores, can be destructive, but laying out expectations and needs is important.

Hope all are well!

LY

 

[DappleDoxie]

~ thought I would put this here as a resource and for discussion.

do these seem right to you from either side of the slash?

as your PYL/CG provides structure and rules for you, how do you provide service and care for him?

and always... simple reminder... it is still just a relationship. meals, laundry, laughs, teasing, good days and bad days are all part of life.

Oh, I miss the boundaries of rules/guidelines/expectations.
I try to maintain sleep and eating.
Right now I am struggling so with social interaction.
But ... baby steps, right?

 

[barefootgirl69]

*peeks*

hi

Hi

Hi.
Still trying to figure out why I’m here.

Maybe I just like y’all.

Coz it's comfortable, and you like us!

Greetings from a long hiatus! It's always comforting to pop back into Lit and find this warm and welcoming corner...

As for the rules discussion - I find wiggle room is important, and yes it is hard to say "wiggle" without lapsing into memories of her sitting on my lap! I would also add Rules for the Everyday - ways to help us structure and accomplish some of those more routine and daily chores that we have - from cooking and cleaning, to personal hygiene, to taking time out to relax, breathe, and smell the flowers. Again, fixed rules, particularly with such chores, can be destructive, but laying out expectations and needs is important.

Hope all are well!

LY

I like this!
Sometimes "rules" aren't really necessary. But, expecations... I like that word. Also, I like "suggestions" when I have a problem to solve. They give me choices and it can be a learning experience for me. It still makes me happy that he's taken the time to think about my needs.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Hi.
Still trying to figure out why I’m here.

Maybe I just like y’all.

Well... you like pet stuff, right? I think pets and littles share some common ground.

Plus you like us.

 

[barefootgirl69]

Oh, I miss the boundaries of rules/guidelines/expectations.
I try to maintain sleep and eating.
Right now I am struggling so with social interaction.
But ... baby steps, right?

Baby steps.

 

[HeavyBalls]

*leaves out cookies, ice cream, brownies, poutine... and tea.

 

[barefootgirl69]

*leaves out cookies, ice cream, brownies, poutine... and tea.

Thank you, HB for thinking of us!
Some tea sounds wonderful, and warming!!!!

 

[HeavyBalls]

Thank you, HB for thinking of us!
Some tea sounds wonderful, and warming!!!!

I'm feeling happy and very fulfilled and I want to spoil. So Here you ladies go.

 

[elizabeth191]

Three Types of Rules For Littles

Here are three types of rules for Caregivers who are struggling to develop lists for their new little:


1. Rules That Establish Dominance:

These are the fun rules, and the ones that reinforce who is boss. Asking for permission to cum and letting Daddy pick out your panties each day are good examples.

2. Rules That Guide Health:

These help with physical and mental health. Eating breakfast each day, a required walk, journal writing, and required self play (good for burning calories and raising endorphins) are good examples.

3. Rules That Help With Goals:

These help make her that very best version of herself that she wants to be. Keeping her room tidy, working toward healthy eating habits, putting away money in the bank each week, and required time for studying are good examples.

**Rules may overlap into multiple areas. Required self play can help with mental health, weight loss, stress relief, sleeping habits, as well as establishing dominance. Looking at other’s rules can help you come up with your own, but by and large, rules should be tailored to serve specific littles and their unique needs. Happy rule making.


~ thought I would put this here as a resource and for discussion.

do these seem right to you from either side of the slash?

as your PYL/CG provides structure and rules for you, how do you provide service and care for him?

and always... simple reminder... it is still just a relationship. meals, laundry, laughs, teasing, good days and bad days are all part of life.

I love the idea of rules/structure/expectations, but any tips on how to best navigate that long distance?

 

[elizabeth191]

I'm feeling happy and very fulfilled and I want to spoil. So Here you ladies go.

A cup of tea and a bite of brownie sounds wonderful right about now. Thank you so much!

 

[HeavyBalls]

I love the idea of rules/structure/expectations, but any tips on how to best navigate that long distance?

Constant/regular communication and checklists. Honesty.

 

[HeavyBalls]

A cup of tea and a bite of brownie sounds wonderful right about now. Thank you so much!

Have as much as you like.

 

[Lost_Yonder]

I love the idea of rules/structure/expectations, but any tips on how to best navigate that long distance?

So much depends on the kind of relationship you have. It might include documenting accomplishments or fulfilling certain demands/expectations, it might be, as HB states, full honesty, even knowing the potential consequences when certain things aren't fulfilled. It becomes easy to hide some things, particularly when it comes to self-care. It isn't always easy for a long-distance Daddy to "see" fully your moods, needs, stresses. Over time they should be able to pick up on little things, but it requires patience and honesty and extensive communication...

 

[cascadiabound]

I love the idea of rules/structure/expectations, but any tips on how to best navigate that long distance?

This is a good article on managing ldr stuff in general and a bunch of good ideas and tips that might be useful:


Long Distance Tips from a submissive
See each other, and talk, as often as possible
Hearing, and seeing each other, as often as possible is the number one way to feel connected to one another long distance.Try to find little times to connect, even if it’s not a time when you can give your full attention. Talk while you are driving or grocery shopping. For my Dom and I our time differences, and schedules, make finding time to give each other 100% attention hard for us. My Daddy sometimes turns on ‘Daddy TV’ for me, allowing me to watch him on cam while he is working. We mute the sound and chat via text, but being able to see him is a very calming experience for me, and it certainly helps this needy sub feel connected.

Text when you can’t talk
Having your camera on, or headphones in, isn’t always practical, but communicating through text chat is often a more manageable way to keep in contact throughout the day. Don’t underestimate the power of a message that says “Just wanted you to know I’m thinking of you’’.

Have a cam ’date’
Order the same takeout (Chinese food, pizza, etc.), and pop on the same Netflix show/movie while you cam together.

Keep a panty catalog
Both my Dom and I love when he chooses my panties. I, like most women I know, own more panties than he is able to keep track of without help. What I did was create an album for him, a picture of me in each pair, and a corresponding number, so that all he needs to do is glance at the album and leave me a number to let me know which he chose for the day. This works great with lingerie too.

Send Voice Messages
There is a great service on Vocaroo.com that requires no sign up. You can record voice messages for each other so that you have something to listen to at time you will not be able to communicate via voice/cam.

Send pictures and videos as often as possible
A silly morning selfie, or a video recording, can go a long way toward making you feel connected. Google drive is a great way to organize these and control who can view/download the videos and images. (However these methods are not hack-proof and you should always be discreet and completely trust and vet anyone you share sexy/revealing content with.)

Don’t make every communication about sex
Things don’t need to be sexy all the time. Have a cam session where you just talk. Ask about your partner’s day. Time on voice/cam is often limited in LDRs but that doesn’t mean every opportunity needs to be used for something sexy. Those sexy times will feel so much more special when you’ve fostered a real connection.

Share a to-do list
Google keep is a great app that lets you share a to-do list, so you can check tasks/chores off, and your Dom can see what has been completed at any given moment. It also allows either party to add or remove tasks at any time.

Share your playlists
The days of mixed tapes are over, but listening to the same song (preferably at the same time) is a great way to feel connected to another person. Shared experiences have a way of uniting us that is very powerful, and music has a draw all it’s own.

Don’t hide your bad days
LDRs are, after all, just relationships. Don’t impose on yourself the need to always come off as happy and put together. I’ve had calls where I’ve done little more than cry while my Dom listens and attempts to just be there for me. When another person can’t read your body language you need to make a greater effort to communicate what your feeling. Tell them if you feel sad, or frustrated, or angry. If you know that you’ll have trouble with this I’ve heard some people establish emojis or code-words ahead of time that they can use to communicate a mood when they can’t find the words.

Send a good-morning and goodnight message
This is an important practice, especially for people in different time zones. Let them know you are thinking of them when you wake. Tuck-in is a very reassuring ritual for submissives (especially littles) and these simple messages can go a long way toward reassuring both Dom and sub that they are thought of, and missed.

Have a comfort object
It’s my intention to write something more extensive about aftercare in a LDR later on, but a great place to start is with a comfort object. It can be a stuffy, a blanket, or a sweatshirt that smells like your partner; anything that reminds you of them. Create good associations by keeping the item close by while you are talking and enjoying yourselves, this will make the object more comforting when you’re feeling down.

Cut yourself some slack
Some days will be difficult. You’ll miss connecting because of busy schedules or bad luck. It’s easy to feel neglected and unimportant, but try to keep perspective. Remember and appreciate the effort that your partner puts into your relationship and try to cut them, and yourself, some slack.

written by @pleasurewhore

 

[elizabeth191]

Oh wow! Thank you all so much for the advice! I'm going to share all of this with my Daddy and we can figure out what works best for us.

Have I mentioned how much I love this space and how thankful I am that I found it??

 

[cascadiabound]

Oh wow! Thank you all so much for the advice! I'm going to share all of this with my Daddy and we can figure out what works best for us.

Have I mentioned how much I love this space and how thankful I am that I found it??

We are glad you are here.
let us know how things go for you. For me and Mr T, we have found that talking lots and making sure we are on the same page and being flexible and recognizing that things evolve as we learn more about each other is really important.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

I see the 'choose my panties/outfit/whatever' thing a lot.

I feel as though i must be in the minority, but i don't like it at all. I also don't like trimming the lady garden to suit a partner's preferences, it all feels very intrusive to me.

I tried all of it when i was a noob, with more than one partner because i like to be sure, but it makes my heart feel sad, and not loved, and too controlled in the wrong ways. I feel guilty that i can't give this part of myself freely... i want to be able to give everything, you know? But i can't.

I'm trying to tell myself that it's okay, that the right man is going to understand, but i still struggle with feeling like a failure right out of the gate because of it.

I've lived for too many years in an environment in which love was performance-based. It's a pain in the ass and when I'm not struggling to love myself, I'm really angry about it.

 

[cascadiabound]

I see the 'choose my panties/outfit/whatever' thing a lot.

I feel as though i must be in the minority, but i don't like it at all. I also don't like trimming the lady garden to suit a partner's preferences, it all feels very intrusive to me.

I tried all of it when i was a noob, with more than one partner because i like to be sure, but it makes my heart feel sad, and not loved, and too controlled in the wrong ways. I feel guilty that i can't give this part of myself freely... i want to be able to give everything, you know? But i can't.

I'm trying to tell myself that it's okay, that the right man is going to understand, but i still struggle with feeling like a failure right out of the gate because of it.

I've lived for too many years in an environment in which love was performance-based. It's a pain in the ass and when I'm not struggling to love myself, I'm really angry about it.

Different things work for different people.
the panty thing does nothing for me either - at least not on a daily basis. (no thank you). If you notice... it was only ONE idea of a pretty long list of possible ideas in the list above.

I think this is part of what I mean about evolving. We have to pay attention to the stuff that feels good to us. Things that push us in the ways that feel right and good to us and does not trigger us in toxic ways or pushes that guilt "I feel worse about me now" button. Sometimes it takes awhile to figure out where those buttons are. To me part of the point of having power exchange is to have someone to give me boundaries and to help me love myself better in part because taking care of me is part of what he expects me to do and he loves me to feel good not just for him, but because it builds me up and makes me a better person - a more whole person.

Love should not ever be performance based in my opinion. Love is unconditional. Power exchange is the structure that we decide to have some of our interactions but love is not predicated on our success or failure in any given moment.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

You're right.

I need to see those triggers and move on, instead of wasting my energy on them.

 

[barefootgirl69]

I see the 'choose my panties/outfit/whatever' thing a lot.

I feel as though i must be in the minority, but i don't like it at all. I also don't like trimming the lady garden to suit a partner's preferences, it all feels very intrusive to me.

I tried all of it when i was a noob, with more than one partner because i like to be sure, but it makes my heart feel sad, and not loved, and too controlled in the wrong ways. I feel guilty that i can't give this part of myself freely... i want to be able to give everything, you know? But i can't.

I'm trying to tell myself that it's okay, that the right man is going to understand, but i still struggle with feeling like a failure right out of the gate because of it.

I've lived for too many years in an environment in which love was performance-based. It's a pain in the ass and when I'm not struggling to love myself, I'm really angry about it.

I have never done the "pick my panties every day" thing. Not all Doms WANT to do this; not every submissive needs/wants this type of oversight.

You aren't alone or weird or anything for not doing this. And, most of all, don't feel guilty that you can't give this part. Embrace it as one of your limits. It's a part of you. It may change with the right person, but if it doesn't - that's okay.

However, there's something very sexy about shopping for panties (and other things) together online (I'm talking LDR) and wearing them at his request.

 

[WiserSoutherner]

As someone interested in this topic, I just want to thank you all for sharing here. I'm learning so much I hope to use one day.

 

[cascadiabound]

As someone interested in this topic, I just want to thank you all for sharing here. I'm learning so much I hope to use one day.

Welcome WiserSoutherner

feel free to chime in with thoughts and questions.

 

[cascadiabound]

[snip]... most of all, don't feel guilty that you can't give this part. Embrace it as one of your limits. It's a part of you. It may change with the right person, but if it doesn't - that's okay.

However, there's something very sexy about shopping for panties (and other things) together online (I'm talking LDR) and wearing them at his request.

1) we all have limits - hard and soft. Don't be afraid to say what they are and to hold them firm even if they seem "silly" If your limits are a "must have" for your partner, then you have a mutual incompatibility - part as friends and move on.

2) and yes... bfg... a little ldr sexy shopping and then wearing at his request (not all the time, but for a date or a special occasion) can be a fun way to build intimacy and connection.

 

[cascadiabound]

safe in his arms.