If I make you chuckle, you have to send me a bikini pic

[jsmiam]

If you snicker, chuckle, smile, or grin
A bikini pic is what you’re in

And If you do an out loud laugh,
Then obviously the top comes off

But if you do laugh your ass off
Then the pic is in the buff

...

So, with that set of rules.

A drunk goes into a bar
Gets right into the big burly bartender’s face and says, “I fucked YOUR mother!”

The bartender says...

“Go home Dad. You’re drunk. “

—-

I guess if you’re as funny as me, just say hi. I’ll wait on the bikini pic. Maybe.

And what am I looking for? Bikini pics. Ok, maybe a pen pal too. Nothing like a secret email friend, right? Exactly. I knew you’d see things my way.

Also, I hate that I have to spell this out. I’m a male. Looking for a female. It’s my hands in the avatar, I’m not the one in the shorts. See? (I’m glad we had this little chat... )

EDITED: (Thanks @Boo & @mae) - One pieces are A-OK too.

EDITED AGAIN: August 2024, jump to page 5, but this is a good read too, starting at the top isn’t a bad idea.

 

[Jada59]

Sorry. That's a fail for me. No pic for you!

 

[jsmiam]

Sorry. That's a fail for me. No pic for you!

Wait! You see, the drunk was actually the bartender’s father. See? So while we usually assume the bartender is a stranger, in this ca... Wait. Where are you going? Why are you walking away while I’m talking?

 

[Jada59]

Wait! You see, the drunk was actually the bartender’s father. See? So while we usually assume the bartender is a stranger, in this ca... Wait. Where are you going? Why are you walking away while I’m talking?

I'm not going anywhere and I don't own a bikini. I'd rather be nakky.

 

[LadyJS]

Wait! You see, the drunk was actually the bartender’s father. See? So while we usually assume the bartender is a stranger, in this ca... Wait. Where are you going? Why are you walking away while I’m talking?

When you have to explain your joke, that's an automatic FAIL!

But you do get a participation prize nonetheless

 

[jsmiam]

When you have to explain your joke, that's an automatic FAIL!

But you do get a participation prize nonetheless

No no no, I routinely explain ALL my jokes to people. it's OK though, mother says I'm very funny! You can't possibly be implying that I'm not hilarious. Nay nay.

 

[Bobby96]

She looks hot, bet she give great head!

https://66.media.tumblr.com/2acf5c0f19eadf7551d4f43fa76412d7/tumblr_pul942jQ6p1y94hooo1_540.jpg

 

[jsmiam]

Incodirigible - a really awful blimp.

Also totally an original!

 

[jsmiam]

Importent - knowing in advance you’ll become important

Inportent - knowing in advance you’ll become impotent

Importemp - knowing in advance your job will be replaced by offshore outsourcing.

“Even before posting, Jsmiam inportently knew how bad his jokes were. There was no need to feel importent.

 

[kurrginatorX]

Hello, my name is Convex McFizzlewhip, but you may know me better as kurrginatorX here on the Lit boards. Throughout the ages, people much like my friend jsmiam have lived a life of mediocrity and ostracization due to the bad jokes they tell with importunity, and that is where The Miracle Sunshine Network for Lost or Abandoned Souls comes in.

We at MSNLAS help people like jsmiam learn funny jokes, such as:

MAN: Oh, what a night last night. How much did I drink?

WIFE: Enough that you embarrassed the hell out of us both. Your boss was pretty upset.

MAN: Well, he can kiss my ass.

WIFE: You told him that and he fired you.

MAN: Well, fuck him.

WIFE: I did. You can go back to work on Monday.

With your donations, we can continue to help all the jsmiams in the world. Operators are standing by. Thank you.

 

[jsmiam]

@kurrg ... thanks. You’re admitted. Your ACA (American cornball association) cards are in the mail. Officer material, I think! Welcome! ;-)

 

[Jada59]

Hello, my name is Convex McFizzlewhip, but you may know me better as kurrginatorX here on the Lit boards. Throughout the ages, people much like my friend jsmiam have lived a life of mediocrity and ostracization due to the bad jokes they tell with importunity, and that is where The Miracle Sunshine Network for Lost or Abandoned Souls comes in.

We at MSNLAS help people like jsmiam learn funny jokes, such as:

MAN: Oh, what a night last night. How much did I drink?

WIFE: Enough that you embarrassed the hell out of us both. Your boss was pretty upset.

MAN: Well, he can kiss my ass.

WIFE: You told him that and he fired you.

MAN: Well, fuck him.

WIFE: I did. You can go back to work on Monday.

With your donations, we can continue to help all the jsmiams in the world. Operators are standing by. Thank you.

Okay! That's funny!

 

[jsmiam]

Okay! That's funny!

Hmph!!

 

[blulilacgrl]

Wait... what happens if you laugh? I might try to dredge up a joke or two if we then get to see you in a bikini.

 

[jsmiam]

Wait... what happens if you laugh? I might try to dredge up a joke or two if we then get to see you in a bikini.

Man, this is one uncomfortable banana hammock. But I guess!

 

[StarGazer58]

I am curious, did you get any bikini or better pics?

 

[jsmiam]

I am curious, did you get any bikini or better pics?

Just one. Blonde. Blue Eyes. Really tall. Very buff and fit too, she must work out a lot!

All were shots from behind, for some odd reason, I don’t know why...

Cute Adam’s Apple too!

 

[kurrginatorX]

Just one. Blonde. Blue Eyes. Really tall. Very buff and fit too, she must work out a lot!

All were shots from behind, for some odd reason, I don’t know why...

Cute Adam’s Apple too!

LMFAO @ Adam's Apple.

 

[MaybeMae]

will you buy me a bikini to take a picture in, or do one pieces work?

 

[Booboobear84]

You know

One pieces can be sexier. I suggest being open on that (I came back just post this and see that Mae is pointing out the one piece option)

 

[jsmiam]

@Mae & @Boo.... It’s a deal. I will modify the original post to include one-pieces. (I can’t change the title though, Lit doesn’t let me). ;-)

And @Mae... Since you brought it up, I suppose it isn’t ENTIRELY a coincidence, since the story and this post both came from my brain(s), but look at my story list. It must have been prophetic! ;-)

 

[baseballGeek]

will you buy me a bikini to take a picture in, or do one pieces work?

Hey Mae, will this one work for you

https://www.venus.com/viewproduct.aspx?BRANCH=24~217~&ProductDisplayID=17360

 

[LadyJS]

Just one. Blonde. Blue Eyes. Really tall. Very buff and fit too, she must work out a lot!

All were shots from behind, for some odd reason, I don’t know why...

Cute Adam’s Apple too!

Sounds like this character

 

[kurrginatorX]

@Mae & @Boo.... It’s a deal. I will modify the original post to include one-pieces. (I can’t change the title though, Lit doesn’t let me). ;-)

And @Mae... Since you brought it up, I suppose it isn’t ENTIRELY a coincidence, since the story and this post both came from my brain(s), but look at my story list. It must have been prophetic! ;-)

Hey, where are my pics? I think I deserve a few for the joke I left.

 

[StarGazer58]

Hey, where are my pics? I think I deserve a few for the joke I left.

That was a funny joke so you should get a bikini or one piece pic from some lady who also laughed at the joke.