10 Reasons.......smile
- Thread starter STUDDOG
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~Elizabeth~
His horny lil devil
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Something to make you smile baby, love ya!
Fitness Program
You've seen those ads on TV promising amazing results from all sorts of contraptions. Well, there's no need to invest in fancy equipment. If you have (or can borrow) a dog, you have everything you need to get in shape now!!! The following exercises can be done anywhere, anytime.
Inner Thighs: Place the dog's favorite toy between thighs. Press tighter than the dog can pull. Do not attempt bare legged - dogs who favor shortcuts to success will just dig the toy out. You could be damaged.
Upper Body Strength: Lift the dog - off the couch, off the bed, out of the flower bed. Repeat, repeat, repeat. As the dog ages, this exercise is reversed - onto the couch, onto the bed, into the car and so on.
Balance and Coordination, Exercise 1: Remove your puppy from unsuitable tight places. If they're too small for him, they're certainly too small for you. Do it anyway!
Balance and Coordination, Exercise 2: Practice not falling when your dog bounds across the full length of the room, sails through the air, and slams both front paws into the back of your knees.
Balance and Coordination, Exercise 3: (for use with multiple dogs) Remove all dogs from lap and answer the phone before it stops ringing.
Balance and Coordination, Exercise 4: (alternate) For older dogs, attempt to cross a room without tripping over the dog. Get off your couch without crushing any part of a sleeping elderly dog.
Upper Arms: Throw the ball. Throw the squeaky toy. Throw the Frisbee. Repeat until nauseous.
Upper Arms: (alternate) Tug the rope. Tug the pull toy. Tug the sock. Repeat until your shoulder is dislocated or the dog gives up (we all know which comes first).
Hand Coordination: Remove foreign object from dog's locked jaw. This exercise is especially popular with puppy owners. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Remember, this is a timed exercise. Movements must be quick and precise (think concert pianist) to prevent trips to the vet, which only offer the minimal exercise benefit of jaw firming clenches.
Calves: After the dog has worn out the rest of your body, hang a circular toy on your ankle and let the dog tug while you tug back. WARNING: This is feasible only for those with strong bones and small dogs. Have you taken your calcium supplement today?
Calves: (alternate) Run after dog - pick any reason, there are plenty. Dogs of any size can be used for this exercise. Greyhounds are inadvisable.
Neck Muscles: Attempt to outmaneuver the canine tongue headed for your ear, mouth, or eyeball. This is a lifelong fitness program. A dog is never too old or too feeble to "French Kiss" you when you least expect it.
Fitness Program
You've seen those ads on TV promising amazing results from all sorts of contraptions. Well, there's no need to invest in fancy equipment. If you have (or can borrow) a dog, you have everything you need to get in shape now!!! The following exercises can be done anywhere, anytime.
Inner Thighs: Place the dog's favorite toy between thighs. Press tighter than the dog can pull. Do not attempt bare legged - dogs who favor shortcuts to success will just dig the toy out. You could be damaged.
Upper Body Strength: Lift the dog - off the couch, off the bed, out of the flower bed. Repeat, repeat, repeat. As the dog ages, this exercise is reversed - onto the couch, onto the bed, into the car and so on.
Balance and Coordination, Exercise 1: Remove your puppy from unsuitable tight places. If they're too small for him, they're certainly too small for you. Do it anyway!
Balance and Coordination, Exercise 2: Practice not falling when your dog bounds across the full length of the room, sails through the air, and slams both front paws into the back of your knees.
Balance and Coordination, Exercise 3: (for use with multiple dogs) Remove all dogs from lap and answer the phone before it stops ringing.
Balance and Coordination, Exercise 4: (alternate) For older dogs, attempt to cross a room without tripping over the dog. Get off your couch without crushing any part of a sleeping elderly dog.
Upper Arms: Throw the ball. Throw the squeaky toy. Throw the Frisbee. Repeat until nauseous.
Upper Arms: (alternate) Tug the rope. Tug the pull toy. Tug the sock. Repeat until your shoulder is dislocated or the dog gives up (we all know which comes first).
Hand Coordination: Remove foreign object from dog's locked jaw. This exercise is especially popular with puppy owners. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Remember, this is a timed exercise. Movements must be quick and precise (think concert pianist) to prevent trips to the vet, which only offer the minimal exercise benefit of jaw firming clenches.
Calves: After the dog has worn out the rest of your body, hang a circular toy on your ankle and let the dog tug while you tug back. WARNING: This is feasible only for those with strong bones and small dogs. Have you taken your calcium supplement today?
Calves: (alternate) Run after dog - pick any reason, there are plenty. Dogs of any size can be used for this exercise. Greyhounds are inadvisable.
Neck Muscles: Attempt to outmaneuver the canine tongue headed for your ear, mouth, or eyeball. This is a lifelong fitness program. A dog is never too old or too feeble to "French Kiss" you when you least expect it.
~Elizabeth~
His horny lil devil
- Joined
- Nov 12, 2002
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It's Our Little Secret Ladies
One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God:
"God, I have a problem!"
"What's the problem, Eve?" asks God.
"God, I know you created me
and provided this beautiful garden
and all of these wonderful animals
and that hilarious comedic snake,
but I'm just not happy."
"Why is that, Eve?" came the reply from above.
"God, I am lonely, and I'm sick to death of apples."
"Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution.
I shall create man for you...
But this man will be a flawed creature,
with many bad traits.
He'll lie, cheat, and be vain glorious;
all in all, he'll give you a hard time.
But, on the plus side, he'll be bigger,
faster, and will like to hunt and kill things.
He will look silly when he's aroused,
but since you've been complaining,
I'll create him in such a way
that he will satisfy your physical needs.
He will be witless and will revel in childish things
like fighting and kicking a ball about.
He won't be too smart,
so he'll also need your advice to think properly."
"Sounds great," says Eve,
with an ironically raised eyebrow.
"What's the catch, God?"
"Well ... you can have him on one condition."
"What's that, God?"
"As I said, he'll be proud, arrogant,
and self-admiring...
So you'll have to let him believe that I made him first.
Just remember, it's our little secret...
You know, woman to woman."
One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God:
"God, I have a problem!"
"What's the problem, Eve?" asks God.
"God, I know you created me
and provided this beautiful garden
and all of these wonderful animals
and that hilarious comedic snake,
but I'm just not happy."
"Why is that, Eve?" came the reply from above.
"God, I am lonely, and I'm sick to death of apples."
"Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution.
I shall create man for you...
But this man will be a flawed creature,
with many bad traits.
He'll lie, cheat, and be vain glorious;
all in all, he'll give you a hard time.
But, on the plus side, he'll be bigger,
faster, and will like to hunt and kill things.
He will look silly when he's aroused,
but since you've been complaining,
I'll create him in such a way
that he will satisfy your physical needs.
He will be witless and will revel in childish things
like fighting and kicking a ball about.
He won't be too smart,
so he'll also need your advice to think properly."
"Sounds great," says Eve,
with an ironically raised eyebrow.
"What's the catch, God?"
"Well ... you can have him on one condition."
"What's that, God?"
"As I said, he'll be proud, arrogant,
and self-admiring...
So you'll have to let him believe that I made him first.
Just remember, it's our little secret...
You know, woman to woman."
~Elizabeth~
His horny lil devil
- Joined
- Nov 12, 2002
- Posts
- 44,526
Toilet Paper Differences
A little old lady goes into the store to do some shopping.
She is bewildered over the large selection of toilet paper.
"Pardon me, sir," she says to the store manager,
"but can you explain the differences in all these toilet papers?"
"Well," he replies pointing out one brand,
"this is as soft as a baby's kiss. It's $1.50 per roll."
He grabs another and says, "This is nice and soft as a bunny,
strong but gentle, and it's $1.00 a roll."
Pointing to the bottom shelf he tells her,
"We call that our No Name brand, and it's 20 cents per roll."
"Give me the No Name," she says.
She comes back about a week later, seeks out the manager and says,
"Hey! I've got a name for your No Name toilet paper.
I call it John Wayne."
"Why?" he asks.
"Because it's rough, it's tough and it don't take crap off anybody!"
A little old lady goes into the store to do some shopping.
She is bewildered over the large selection of toilet paper.
"Pardon me, sir," she says to the store manager,
"but can you explain the differences in all these toilet papers?"
"Well," he replies pointing out one brand,
"this is as soft as a baby's kiss. It's $1.50 per roll."
He grabs another and says, "This is nice and soft as a bunny,
strong but gentle, and it's $1.00 a roll."
Pointing to the bottom shelf he tells her,
"We call that our No Name brand, and it's 20 cents per roll."
"Give me the No Name," she says.
She comes back about a week later, seeks out the manager and says,
"Hey! I've got a name for your No Name toilet paper.
I call it John Wayne."
"Why?" he asks.
"Because it's rough, it's tough and it don't take crap off anybody!"
~Elizabeth~
His horny lil devil
- Joined
- Nov 12, 2002
- Posts
- 44,526
~Elizabeth~
His horny lil devil
- Joined
- Nov 12, 2002
- Posts
- 44,526
STUDDOG
Irish Eyes Are Shining
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STUDDOG
Irish Eyes Are Shining
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SexyWench
tempting fate
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STUDDOG said:AGAIN.....LMAO......
Bubba's going to need a parachute.....
Hey, Bubba ain't no dummy
http://www.nhm.org/exhibitions/dogs/images/formfunction/parachuting.jpg
SexyWench
tempting fate
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- Jun 21, 2002
- Posts
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Sex Therapy
A man visited a psychiatrist because he felt he was having severe problems with his sex life.
The psychiatrist probed, queried, puzzled and dialogued, but didn't seem to be getting any closer to a clear picture of the problem. Finally, on a long shot, he asked, "Do you watch your wife's face while you're having sex?"
"Sometimes. Well, once," the man replied.
"Only once? Do you remember what she looked like at the time?"
"Actually, she looked… well, angry. It’s hard to talk about."
At this the psychiatrist felt that he was finally getting somewhere. He said, "I’m glad you’re beginning to open up. I understand that this must be difficult for you, but if you really want to get better we must amplify the details of this incident. Now tell me, you say that you have only looked into your wife's face once during sex, and that she looked angry. I know it's painful, but try to reconstruct the incident in your mind. Good. So what were the precise circumstances during which you saw her angry face that time you were having sex?"
"She was watching us through the window."
A man visited a psychiatrist because he felt he was having severe problems with his sex life.
The psychiatrist probed, queried, puzzled and dialogued, but didn't seem to be getting any closer to a clear picture of the problem. Finally, on a long shot, he asked, "Do you watch your wife's face while you're having sex?"
"Sometimes. Well, once," the man replied.
"Only once? Do you remember what she looked like at the time?"
"Actually, she looked… well, angry. It’s hard to talk about."
At this the psychiatrist felt that he was finally getting somewhere. He said, "I’m glad you’re beginning to open up. I understand that this must be difficult for you, but if you really want to get better we must amplify the details of this incident. Now tell me, you say that you have only looked into your wife's face once during sex, and that she looked angry. I know it's painful, but try to reconstruct the incident in your mind. Good. So what were the precise circumstances during which you saw her angry face that time you were having sex?"
"She was watching us through the window."
SexyWench
tempting fate
- Joined
- Jun 21, 2002
- Posts
- 16,559
I know I posted reasons to date an engineer some pages back .... now to continue 
More Reasons to date an Engineer
1. The world does revolve around them... they choose the coordinate system
2. No "couple" enjoy a better "moment"
3. They know how to handle stress and strain in a relationship
4. They have significant figures
5. The motion of rigid bodies
6. Projectile motion: Do we need to say more?
7. Engineers do it to specification
8. According to Newton, if two bodies interact, their forces are equal and opposite
9. They know it's not the length of the vector that counts, but how you apply the force
10. They know the right hand rule
More Reasons to date an Engineer
1. The world does revolve around them... they choose the coordinate system
2. No "couple" enjoy a better "moment"
3. They know how to handle stress and strain in a relationship
4. They have significant figures
5. The motion of rigid bodies
6. Projectile motion: Do we need to say more?
7. Engineers do it to specification
8. According to Newton, if two bodies interact, their forces are equal and opposite
9. They know it's not the length of the vector that counts, but how you apply the force
10. They know the right hand rule
SexyWench
tempting fate
- Joined
- Jun 21, 2002
- Posts
- 16,559
Even More Reasons to date an Engineer 
1. Complimentary Tutoring
2. Large Earning Potential
3. Can handle stress and strain in relationships
4. Know all the dynamics of relative motion
5. Learn about the benefits of friction and viscosity
6. FREE body diagrams
7. Always back up their hard drives
8. Trained to do it right the first time
9. Specialized in experimentation
10. Can go all night with no hint of fatigue
's for ya Stud!
1. Complimentary Tutoring
2. Large Earning Potential
3. Can handle stress and strain in relationships
4. Know all the dynamics of relative motion
5. Learn about the benefits of friction and viscosity
6. FREE body diagrams
7. Always back up their hard drives
8. Trained to do it right the first time
9. Specialized in experimentation
10. Can go all night with no hint of fatigue
's for ya Stud!
STUDDOG
Irish Eyes Are Shining
- Joined
- Aug 27, 2002
- Posts
- 6,327
SexyWench said:I know I posted reasons to date an engineer some pages back .... now to continue
More Reasons to date an Engineer
1. The world does revolve around them... they choose the coordinate system
2. No "couple" enjoy a better "moment"
4. They have significant figures
5. The motion of rigid bodies
6. Projectile motion: Do we need to say more?
7. Engineers do it to specification
8. According to Newton, if two bodies interact, their forces are equal and opposite
9. They know it's not the length of the vector that counts, but how you apply the force
10. They know the right hand rule
3. They know how to handle stress and strain in a relationship
We might drop this one...lol..........love you Mai
~Elizabeth~
His horny lil devil
- Joined
- Nov 12, 2002
- Posts
- 44,526
STUDDOG said:
Always great to hear you are smiling hun...
~Elizabeth~
His horny lil devil
- Joined
- Nov 12, 2002
- Posts
- 44,526
STUDDOG said:We can dream.....kisses E
You can dream, but I don't want really big boobs. Too damn much to carry around in my opinion. Heard it makes ya top heavy.
~Elizabeth~
His horny lil devil
- Joined
- Nov 12, 2002
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SexyWench said:
Bubba might not be a dummy, but if he jumps outta a plane like that, he sure is crazy as hell....Stud even more so for going with him. lol
~Elizabeth~
His horny lil devil
- Joined
- Nov 12, 2002
- Posts
- 44,526
SexyWench said:Even More Reasons to date an Engineer
1. Complimentary Tutoring
2. Large Earning Potential
3. Can handle stress and strain in relationships
4. Know all the dynamics of relative motion
5. Learn about the benefits of friction and viscosity
6. FREE body diagrams
7. Always back up their hard drives
8. Trained to do it right the first time
9. Specialized in experimentation
10. Can go all night with no hint of fatigue
Wanna know if number 10 is true...
