A question for hotwife couples

[Islander55]

I mean, I'd be thrilled — or rather, I have been thrilled — to be with another woman. But I also love the opportunity to suck cock in my wife's MMF situations.

I follow her lead. If she's feeling comfortable, I get to enjoy both men and women! She is free to enjoy the company of any person, at any time, without asking me. I don't own her!E

Exactly. If you are in the lifestyle, each person needs to be free to follow their desires and not have to worry about what a partner may think.

 

[redcaddydaddy_1]

My question is'moot', since I'm 77 & thrice divorced, however... Not to brag, but I consider myself an 'alpha' male (or at least I was- paramedic firefighter), & my last wife, back in the day, could have easily been a 'hotwife', now I fantasize that I might have shared her with men she found attractive! So... If I owned a high-end car, & a neighbor was admiring it, I envision 2 possible scenarios; he wants to drive it, & he is insistent to the point that I give in & give him the keys, OR he admires it, & is so friendly & likable that I offer him the keys to take a 'test drive'! See my point? In the first example, I am submissive, & feel obligated to share; in the second case I'm clearly the OWNER, but I'm willing to share the pleasure of my 'ownership'... thus able to feel like I'm in charge! Hope to hear from you on this!!

 

[TonyF862]

My question is'moot', since I'm 77 & thrice divorced, however... Not to brag, but I consider myself an 'alpha' male (or at least I was- paramedic firefighter), & my last wife, back in the day, could have easily been a 'hotwife', now I fantasize that I might have shared her with men she found attractive! So... If I owned a high-end car, & a neighbor was admiring it, I envision 2 possible scenarios; he wants to drive it, & he is insistent to the point that I give in & give him the keys, OR he admires it, & is so friendly & likable that I offer him the keys to take a 'test drive'! See my point? In the first example, I am submissive, & feel obligated to share; in the second case I'm clearly the OWNER, but I'm willing to share the pleasure of my 'ownership'... thus able to feel like I'm in charge! Hope to hear from you on this!!

I’m a second scenario guy - both as the husband of the hotwife/vixen AND as the “third” to a hotwife/stag/vixen couple.

I’ve been in this arrangement for about a year and am glad to report its as fun as it sounds!!

 

[Danccc]

I’m a second scenario guy - both as the husband of the hotwife/vixen AND as the “third” to a hotwife/stag/vixen couple.

I’ve been in this arrangement for about a year and am glad to report its as fun as it sounds!!

Both scenarios? Lucky dude!

 

[Isinlarsa]

Both scenarios? Lucky dude!

I've been in both scenarios several times, but not at the same time; except once.

 

[TonyF862]

Both scenarios? Lucky dude!

Yes. (Not at the same time).

Would love to see my Mrs take advantage of her hall pass more often!!

 

[Swingingbimn71]

My wife and I met on a swingers site and since the beginning had the understanding that If she would like to have sex with another individual or individuals ,with or with out me. that is completely fine with me.
I enjoy seeing her taking pleasure with others. And saying "seeing" i mean not just seeing, but knowing that she is enjoying another person.

She does like ankle bracelets.. but usually they are just that..ankle bracelets.
She does have a tattoo on her ankle.. the number 3. But unless you know what it means it's just a 3. But the people that know us understand the meaning behind it

 

[Phatfeet]

My question is'moot', since I'm 77 & thrice divorced, however... Not to brag, but I consider myself an 'alpha' male (or at least I was- paramedic firefighter), & my last wife, back in the day, could have easily been a 'hotwife', now I fantasize that I might have shared her with men she found attractive! So... If I owned a high-end car, & a neighbor was admiring it, I envision 2 possible scenarios; he wants to drive it, & he is insistent to the point that I give in & give him the keys, OR he admires it, & is so friendly & likable that I offer him the keys to take a 'test drive'! See my point? In the first example, I am submissive, & feel obligated to share; in the second case I'm clearly the OWNER, but I'm willing to share the pleasure of my 'ownership'... thus able to feel like I'm in charge! Hope to hear from you on this!!

Fist Situation Thoughts:

I cannot say much about the first situation because I am just not sure how likely that scenario is.

I am a pretty chill guy, but I would not let just anyone drive my car. The more they pushed me to consent, the more I would resist, and so it would be with someone demanding sex with my wife. The only situation where that would happen is if the person wanting sex with the wife somehow blackmails me with something extremely dire.

There was a movie in the 1990’s where a subordinate hoping for a promotion allows his boss to have sex with his wife while he is over to his house and having dinner. I cannot remember the name of it but it was a Femme Fetale type movie with Shannon Tweed, I think. Other situations might be where a druggie might owe money to a drug dealer and so he allows sexual use of his wife, or perhaps trading mechanic services for a car they cannot afford to fix and thus in payment the mechanic gets use of his wife instead. In any situation I can conceive where a husband and wife must give forced consent, it would be blackmail or dip into a prostitutional situation.

 

[Phatfeet]

The Second Situation:

The second situation where secretly the man gets a thrill out by having another man have his wife carnally, but keep in mind this can take on two forms. Yes, there is outright wife-sharing, but another form of that is candualism.

A lot of men who claim they are cuckolds might actually be candualists instead, just a term they never heard of.

Candualism is where the man shows off his wife. It might be where the other man is invited over the couples house where the husband and wife have sex and the other man is allowed to watch. Or, a movie of the married couple is shown to the man of them having sex. A more milder version is where a wife is shown off while nude. This is the candualism that is most often depicted on Literotica: husbands posting pictures of their wife. It is quite sinister because often the wife has no idea there are nude images of her on the internet and why it is so, so, so wrong. The husband always says the wife consents to the pictures being posted, but is that really the case? It is why those posts are quickly deleted.

But there is an even more mild version of candualism where the wife is dressed in revealing clothes. Revealing clothing, but dressed nonetheless.

My wife and I have very mid forms of candualism. We tend to dress up nicely whenever we go out and it is a thrill for both of us when she sees another woman looking at her sharply dressed husband, and yet for me to see men looking at my wife in her short dresses and skirts. Neither one of us have any desire to forsake our vows it is just nice knowing both of us are still attractive.

A lot of men who say they want to wife-share really are candualists instead where they really do not sexually want to share their wife, they really are just looking for validation that their wife is still desired by other men. It does not take another man having sex with the wife to get that. So you might be a candualist…

 

[TonyF862]

The Second Situation:

The second situation where secretly the man gets a thrill out by having another man have his wife carnally, but keep in mind this can take on two forms. Yes, there is outright wife-sharing, but another form of that is candualism.

A lot of men who claim they are cuckolds might actually be candualists instead, just a term they never heard of.

Candualism is where the man shows off his wife. It might be where the other man is invited over the couples house where the husband and wife have sex and the other man is allowed to watch. Or, a movie of the married couple is shown to the man of them having sex. A more milder version is where a wife is shown off while nude. This is the candualism that is most often depicted on Literotica: husbands posting pictures of their wife. It is quite sinister because often the wife has no idea there are nude images of her on the internet and why it is so, so, so wrong. The husband always says the wife consents to the pictures being posted, but is that really the case? It is why those posts are quickly deleted.

But there is an even more mild version of candualism where the wife is dressed in revealing clothes. Revealing clothing, but dressed nonetheless.

My wife and I have very mid forms of candualism. We tend to dress up nicely whenever we go out and it is a thrill for both of us when she sees another woman looking at her sharply dressed husband, and yet for me to see men looking at my wife in her short dresses and skirts. Neither one of us have any desire to forsake our vows it is just nice knowing both of us are still attractive.

A lot of men who say they want to wife-share really are candualists instead where they really do not sexually want to share their wife, they really are just looking for validation that their wife is still desired by other men. It does not take another man having sex with the wife to get that. So you might be a candualist…

Thank you for taking the time to highlight this nuance to wife-sharing. It’s my new “word of the day”. (Fwiw it’s spelled: candAUlist <- the “au” not “ua” - I only know this because I had to look it up )

And I tend to agree with you, on average, that many men tend more towards candaulism (sp? If that’s a word) than to true hotwifing or stag/vixen.

One other comment I’ll make, wrt it, is that many men who DO truly enjoy the Stag/Vixen/Hotwife (SVH) scene start out in a candaulist mode/scenario and it grows into SVH as the arousal level increases w each boundary being passed (first the looks, then the direct attention, then touching, then kissing, then nudity etc).

This is how it happened for me/us. I found myself aroused that SHE wanted to be noticed, but I didn’t know if I could actually let her (or her allow) someone else to kiss/touch/suck/fuck her.

And I’m happy to report that at each stage I became more and more excited and satisfied that my bride a) wanted to and b) enjoyed it.

Our session after she’s been w her bf or the three of us are together for her pleasure are out of this world!!

 

[TonyF862]

Fist Situation Thoughts:

I cannot say much about the first situation because I am just not sure how likely that scenario is.

I am a pretty chill guy, but I would not let just anyone drive my car. The more they pushed me to consent, the more I would resist, and so it would be with someone demanding sex with my wife. The only situation where that would happen is if the person wanting sex with the wife somehow blackmails me with something extremely dire.

There was a movie in the 1990’s where a subordinate hoping for a promotion allows his boss to have sex with his wife while he is over to his house and having dinner. I cannot remember the name of it but it was a Femme Fetale type movie with Shannon Tweed, I think. Other situations might be where a druggie might owe money to a drug dealer and so he allows sexual use of his wife, or perhaps trading mechanic services for a car they cannot afford to fix and thus in payment the mechanic gets use of his wife instead. In any situation I can conceive where a husband and wife must give forced consent, it would be blackmail or dip into a prostitutional situation.

I think scenario #1 also can also be simply that the woman is not satisfied w her husband’s sexual prowess/performance and simply tells him that, and perhaps the ultimatum that “I need more. I love you and our family, but I need more” and simply starts fucking guys (or women) who satisfy them, and it turns out that the hubby who may object initially, and perhaps on going, finds that HE gets sexually satisfied by being made subordinate to the “bull” (lover) - so in an ironic twist, they both find what they need

 

[Phatfeet]

I think scenario #1 also can also be simply that the woman is not satisfied w her husband’s sexual prowess/performance and simply tells him that, and perhaps the ultimatum that “I need more. I love you and our family, but I need more” and simply starts fucking guys (or women) who satisfy them, and it turns out that the hubby who may object initially, and perhaps on going, finds that HE gets sexually satisfied by being made subordinate to the “bull” (lover) - so in an ironic twist, they both find what they need

I'm not sure. I would have to hear far more of this argument to be convinced of this just because there is so much to a marriage besides sex. Wife-sharing is a powerful thing, but like anything the greater the risk, the greater the reward, but the risk here for most wives' would be too much. Her kids, home, car, career, EVERYTHING is at risk, and for what? Better sex?

I hate to break it to any guy but women can have multiple orgasms and we can't. Worse yet, most guys get off and they lose interest in sex for quite awhile after. All that means is, women are going to be disappointed sexually with most men anyway, so to trade one for another just because of sex? I doubt that will happen. Women are much more complex emotionally than us men to take such risks when everything else in their marriage is good. Sure, a lot of women cheat on their husbands, but it is not lousy sex that causes that. There are other problems in the relationship for that to happen.

I hear of smaller penis size too and that she wants to experience bigger size men, but I see that as a man who has insecurity, or has a small penis humiliation kink that might be known or unknown. Woman may discuss penis size of course; I was wed to a nurse who said it was openly discussed at the hospital, but fun discussion is one thing, getting into wife-sharing just because of penis size sounds like a man-thing and not a womanly thing. I am not saying it never happens, I just think it would be incredibly rare for a woman to risk a good marriage just because his shlong was a bit shorter.

 

[TonyF862]

I'm not sure. I would have to hear far more of this argument to be convinced of this just because there is so much to a marriage besides sex. Wife-sharing is a powerful thing, but like anything the greater the risk, the greater the reward, but the risk here for most wives' would be too much. Her kids, home, car, career, EVERYTHING is at risk, and for what? Better sex?

Oh, I agree but no one (at least not me) is arguing this is the norm. It’s implied and understood that for those that DO choose this route, it can be satisfying. But that, by no means, assume it is common. And again, I agree that marriage IS much more than sex (I dont believe anyone is arguing it is), but that area of an on going relationship can be expanded for some to a very enjoyable, fulfilling degree through cuckholding/Dom/sub arrangements.

I hate to break it to any guy but women can have multiple orgasms and we can't. Worse yet, most guys get off and they lose interest in sex for quite awhile after. All that means is, women are going to be disappointed sexually with most men anyway, so to trade one for another just because of sex? I doubt that will happen.

Agree. And that’s why it is rare. But there are the exceptional few where it does work

Women are much more complex emotionally than us men to take such risks when everything else in their marriage is good. Sure, a lot of women cheat on their husbands, but it is not lousy sex that causes that.

It can be due to lousy sex - but definitely not exclusively

There are other problems in the relationship for that to happen.

I hear of smaller penis size too and that she wants to experience bigger size men, but I see that as a man who has insecurity, or has a small penis humiliation kink that might be known or unknown. Woman may discuss penis size of course; I was wed to a nurse who said it was openly discussed at the hospital, but fun discussion is one thing, getting into wife-sharing just because of penis size sounds like a man-thing and not a womanly thing. I am not saying it never happens, I just think it would be incredibly rare for a woman to risk a good marriage just because his shlong was a bit shorter.

Agree. Sex is almost always a very multi-level dynamic. And that’s what makes it so f’n HOT

 

[GD6720]

So I read on lit couples or guys that talk about having a hotwife lifestyle or fantasizing about wanting a hotwife lifestyle and the thing I read over and over again is " You want this so you can be with other women "
Next comment to almost 100% is the guys denying they want that.
Really????
Just this past weekend we were out together and she had on an ankle bracelet and I made the comment that I see you have your hotwife ankle bracelet on. It was a joke as she doesn't look at ankle bracelets that way.
Anyway back to the subject and question I need answered.
Why is that the first question out of so many wives mouths? " You looking to be eith other women?" And the husband immediately falling over and saying no.
I don't see myself not seeing others if she is and honestly I am ok if she does. We have talked about it with both sexes.
To me a hotwife doesn't just mean being with other men it could be women too.
Please share why so many guys feel they would just sit back and not look for a playmate also.

Being a cuckold husband is part of having a hot wife. Many years ago when we first started out on our cuckold relationship. My wife was sceptical thinking I wanted to sleep with another woman. When she realised and understood cuckold relationship's.
She became more indulgent in my desire for me to see her with another man.