Ask Doctor Liz!

[TANSTAAFL58]

I can admit when I've failed as a therapist and an entrepreneur. I guess it takes more than just long ass legs and a wicked tongue to make it in the business world these days.

Guess I'll just go back to bartending.

Maybe I can save up enough money to buy myself some boobs so I can pay for my kids college by stripping at retirement homes in Florida or something. (it's way too competitive here in Vegas lol)

Dear Newly Appointed Executive In Charge of Renovations,

Oh really? Are you going to recite one of your poems to me or something?

Don't you think we should add a stage for open mic nights then if you're going to start randomly reciting stuff all the time?

Bartender "Poetry Nights Are On Mondays" Liz

P.S. Wow, I never thought of that. Maybe you're right. Maybe I did cure everyone on Lit! THAT must be it And here all this time I've been blaming our downturn in business on JJ quitting

I gotta stop typing on my phone. I'm gonna RETIRE soon. I'll have time on my hands.

Naked poetry readings might be a hit...

 

[LizVegas79]

Dear Dr. Liz,

I have a “major thing” for this extremely hot young Latina woman with an amazing ass. I constantly fantasize about rimming her, but am not sure that she goes for that. How do I approach her on the subject. Looking to you fur insight. Feel free to PM me with your perspective.

Hungry in Hollywood

Dear (My New) Big Time Hollywood Agent,

Latinas are very, very complicated. And prone to sudden ... well, let's just say we can be "a little" unpredictable.

However, do NOT bring up the subject of rimming with her in casual conversation. Bad, really BAD idea!

The best way to approach her is from behind. Preferably (for your own safety) when she is tied down spread-eagled on her belly on your bed after you took her out to an expensive dinner and showered her with compliments about how hot she looked in the skimpy new (read: expensive) dress you bought for her.

I would also recommend a dozen, actually TWO dozen, roses sometime earlier in the evening too.

Make sure after you're finished rimming her you are "at your best" (read: huge and rock fucking hard). Then, be gentle ... but, take what is yours. Don't worry if you can't last very long for her either. Actually, the faster you cum the more she'll know how beautiful you think she is and be likely to forgive you for being such a pervert.

Doctor "Gross. Forget It. Oh My God That Feels AMAZING!" Liz

 

[LizVegas79]

I gotta stop typing on my phone. I'm gonna RETIRE soon. I'll have time on my hands.

Naked poetry readings might be a hit...

Umm, I'm not sure that's all that's on your hands, sweetie.

I think you might have gotten a little on your jeans too.

Naked poetry readings, huh? Okay, but then we have to have a strict NO FAT GUYS policy at the door, okay?

Bartender "I Don't Make The Rules, Well, Actually I Do" Liz

 

[DeckardNYC]

Dr. Liz, if you were locked in the basement of a house in the middle of the woods indefinitely with a stranger of the opposite sex, what would you do?

Signed, Missing.

 

[LizVegas79]

Dr. Liz, if you were locked in the basement of a house in the middle of the woods indefinitely with a stranger of the opposite sex, what would you do?

Signed, Missing.

Dear Missing,

Why? You casting for a reality TV show or something?

The first thing I would do is identify and secure a source of protein- whether he liked it or not!

Doctor "These Balls Better Be Full" Liz

 

[TANSTAAFL58]

Umm, I'm not sure that's all that's on your hands, sweetie.

I think you might have gotten a little on your jeans too.

Naked poetry readings, huh? Okay, but then we have to have a strict NO FAT GUYS policy at the door, okay?

Bartender "I Don't Make The Rules, Well, Actually I Do" Liz

Thanks, Doc.

I will keep the riff raff out.

What do you think? Old English Pub? Mexican Cantina? (You could keep Taco Tuesdsys). Sleek and modern?

 

[parker77]

where have all the flowers gone?

 

[LizVegas79]

Thanks, Doc.

I will keep the riff raff out.

What do you think? Old English Pub? Mexican Cantina? (You could keep Taco Tuesdsys). Sleek and modern?

Sleek and modern. Bistro/tapas/wine/Indian/Vietnamese if that's not asking too much?

where have all the flowers gone?

There's a couple on the jeans I'm wearing at the moment. Does that help?

 

[Apisto42]

Dr. “Fashion is My Passion” Liz,

Is it ever appropriate for a woman to wear crocs to the office? Should I help stage an intervention?

Signed,
Footwear is Important

 

[clistenovena]

Dr. “Fashion is My Passion” Liz,

Is it ever appropriate for a woman to wear crocs to the office? Should I help stage an intervention?

Signed,
Footwear is Important

Dr. Liz will surely have a fantastic answer for this query, but until then...

~grabs my whip and speaks sternly~ Toss the crocs and no one will get hurt.

Okay, truthies, someone is probably going to get hurt. But I promise, they'll like it.

 

[LizVegas79]

Dr. “Fashion is My Passion” Liz,

Is it ever appropriate for a woman to wear crocs to the office? Should I help stage an intervention?

Signed,
Footwear is Important

Dr. Liz will surely have a fantastic answer for this query, but until then...

~grabs my whip and speaks sternly~ Toss the crocs and no one will get hurt.

Okay, truthies, someone is probably going to get hurt. But I promise, they'll like it.

Dear Footwear Is EVERYTHING!,

My able and 1,000% adorable assistant Nova answered this perfectly.

Doctor "Someone Is Going To Get Hurt And Love It" Liz

 

[TheLM]

Doctor Liz, why do statins cause myopathy?

 

[LizVegas79]

Doctor Liz, why do statins cause myopathy?

Dear Stuck In A Rut,

Statins cause myopathy because change is a fundamental part of life. If you don't change, you can't grow.

When you have reached a certain statin, or station, in life, sometimes the tendency is to start playing everything safe. Thus, you become stationary. The medical term for this is statin, which comes of course from Latin. Surprise, surprise statin is Latin. (hey, just like me! )

When you're statin, you start to feel miserable about yourself. You start saying things like, oh me-o, my-o and things like that. That's the myopathy - feeling bad about yourself part.

Fortunately the cure for statins and myopathy is quite easy.

The best place to start looking for a cure is on your Sexual Bucket List (medically speaking, your SBL). Start exploring a fetish you've long suppressed like sexy women's shoes, cherry or blackberry painted toenails, curvy girls, Asian girls, redheads, black guys, wife swapping, wife sharing, wearing your wife's panties to work under your dress clothes. Anything! It really doesn't matter.

Just get out there and start re-living your life sweetie and the statins and myopathy will melt away like cum stains on nylons if you properly pre-soak them in a little vinegar and baking soda before you throw them into the wash.


Doctor "I Promise You Won't Be Sad Anymore If You Just Pop A Boner For Me" Liz

 

[LizVegas79]

https://i.imgur.com/2j4AZU7.jpg?1


"Okay, fine. Arrest me for not being able to find my medical degree at this exact moment
and for business being so down I can't pay the clinic's rent this month, jerk."

(.gofundme/doctorliz'stacotherapyandpsychosexualhealingclinic.whatev's[/url] )

 

[TANSTAAFL58]

https://i.imgur.com/2j4AZU7.jpg?1


"Okay, fine. Arrest me for not being able to find my medical degree at this exact moment
and for business being so down I can't pay the clinic's rent this month, jerk."

(.gofundme/doctorliz'stacotherapyandpsychosexualhealingclinic.whatev's[/url] )

It's Taco Tuesday Doc. I need help; I am a sick man.

I recently discovered an exhibitionist streak a mile wide. I just flashed the dog. He was sleeping and not impressed.

What's the best way to deal with this?

Signed

Where's my trench coat?

PS, what's the best filter program. AFAF

PPS, nice profile pic. I missed it...

 

[LizVegas79]

It's Taco Tuesday Doc. I need help; I am a sick man.

I recently discovered an exhibitionist streak a mile wide. I just flashed the dog. He was sleeping and not impressed.

What's the best way to deal with this?

Signed

Where's my trench coat?

PS, what's the best filter program. AFAF

PPS, nice profile pic. I missed it...

Dear Not An Ex-Exhibitionist Yet,

Hmmm, you better come in for an appointment so that I can get a look at you personally.

Wear your trench coat.

What kind of filter are you looking for?

Doctor "Umm, So What's With The Trenchcoat?" Liz

 

[LizVegas79]

https://cdn07.bdsmlr.com/uploads/photos/2019/08/427473/bdsmlr-427473-LipIcxsolY.gif

"I'm sorry. Doctor Liz is tied up with a couple of other patients right now. But I'm her assistant.
Why don't you tell me what's bothering you today and I'll see if I can help.
Are you already familiar with our Taco Tuesday Taco Therapy discounts?"

 

[kurrginatorX]

Dear Dr. Liz,

I am a sexually frustrated woman whose husband is too wound up with work to give me any attention whatsoever. Oh, sure, he offers advice for ways to help curb my horniness, but nothing seems to help. For instance, I approached him five nights ago and told him I wanted sex and he told me to just flick the bean, so I opened a bag of dried kidney beans, took one out, and flicked it across the table back and forth for about thirty minutes. Not only was this a boring exercise, but it did nothing to calm the storm brewing between my legs. The following night I told him again that I wanted sex and he told me to just butter my muffin. I hadn't made any muffins that day, so I baked some, buttered them, and even ate them, and although they were delicious--blueberry--they did not abate the horniness that was growing inside me.

The following day I told him yet again how horny I was and he asked me if I tried scrubbin' the nubbin. I had no idea what he was talking about so I tried to massage the bunion on my left foot. Yes, it made my foot feel better, but not my intimate area. Two nights ago I attempted to address this issue with him again and he told me to diddle the Skittle. He knows I am diabetic and cannot eat candy, so why would he suggest such a thing? Finally, last night, I literally threw my naked body in his face while he looked over his P & Ls and all he said to me was, "Maybe you'd enjoy a little self-imposed clam jamboree." I was planning surf and turf for dinner anyway, so I figured I could wait, but after dinner he still denied me. I am an attractive, hot-blooded Latina, so what gives?

Signed: Ready, Willing, and Able

 

[clistenovena]

Dear Footwear Is EVERYTHING!,

My able and 1,000% adorable assistant Nova answered this perfectly.

Doctor "Someone Is Going To Get Hurt And Love It" Liz

 

[JerseyJade]

https://i.imgur.com/2j4AZU7.jpg?1


"Okay, fine. Arrest me for not being able to find my medical degree at this exact moment
and for business being so down I can't pay the clinic's rent this month, jerk."

(.gofundme/doctorliz'stacotherapyandpsychosexualhealingclinic.whatev's[/url] )

I'm glad I still have my night job or I would be broke by now.

https://66.media.tumblr.com/8d233aa61748b29ae8216a8d91b47c40/tumblr_p327yue49z1rztc00o1_400.gif

 

[smtst5]

Dr Liz,

I have a potential crisis about to happen. We are a little over a week away from Halloween and I have no costume to wear. I desperately need some ideas.

Sincerely,

I’m not Batman

 

[LizVegas79]

Dear Dr. Liz,

I am a sexually frustrated woman whose husband is too wound up with work to give me any attention whatsoever. Oh, sure, he offers advice for ways to help curb my horniness, but nothing seems to help. For instance, I approached him five nights ago and told him I wanted sex and he told me to just flick the bean, so I opened a bag of dried kidney beans, took one out, and flicked it across the table back and forth for about thirty minutes. Not only was this a boring exercise, but it did nothing to calm the storm brewing between my legs. The following night I told him again that I wanted sex and he told me to just butter my muffin. I hadn't made any muffins that day, so I baked some, buttered them, and even ate them, and although they were delicious--blueberry--they did not abate the horniness that was growing inside me.

The following day I told him yet again how horny I was and he asked me if I tried scrubbin' the nubbin. I had no idea what he was talking about so I tried to massage the bunion on my left foot. Yes, it made my foot feel better, but not my intimate area. Two nights ago I attempted to address this issue with him again and he told me to diddle the Skittle. He knows I am diabetic and cannot eat candy, so why would he suggest such a thing? Finally, last night, I literally threw my naked body in his face while he looked over his P & Ls and all he said to me was, "Maybe you'd enjoy a little self-imposed clam jamboree." I was planning surf and turf for dinner anyway, so I figured I could wait, but after dinner he still denied me. I am an attractive, hot-blooded Latina, so what gives?

Signed: Ready, Willing, and Able

Dear RWA,

Sadly, not all men excel in the romance department. Done right, the mating dance can be a wild and wonderful ride. When done properly, for us women, it can provide us with hours and hours of foreplay.

Since your husband suggestions aren't meeting your needs, I suggest you turn the tables on him and try sweeping him off his feet rather than waiting for him to finally sweep you off yours.

Doctor "Try A Broom That Requires Batteries" Liz

 

[LizVegas79]

I'm glad I still have my night job or I would be broke by now.

https://66.media.tumblr.com/8d233aa61748b29ae8216a8d91b47c40/tumblr_p327yue49z1rztc00o1_400.gif

I'm trying to keep the Tic Tac trees going but they aren't looking too good.

Do you know if they're hiring at your adult video store JJ?

(I'm willing to start on the bottom and work my way up to cowgirl dominatrix queen bitch if necessary. )

 

[LizVegas79]

Dr Liz,

I have a potential crisis about to happen. We are a little over a week away from Halloween and I have no costume to wear. I desperately need some ideas.

Sincerely,

I’m not Batman

Dear Robin?

All the costumes are very picked over at this point but I have an idea. Why don't you go as a nudist with me?


Doctor "I'm Going As A Nudist For Halloween This Year" Liz

 

[JerseyJade]

I'm trying to keep the Tic Tac trees going but they aren't looking too good.

Do you know if they're hiring at your adult video store JJ?

(I'm willing to start on the bottom and work my way up to cowgirl dominatrix queen bitch if necessary. )

They're always hiring, Liz. I'll put in a good word for you.