Bottoming & Erectile Dysfunction

[CuriousinPennsylvania]

It seems to me that many guys looking for in M2M experiences in Lit Forums and Lit Chat are Identifying strictly as "bottoms". Why? Why not at least "Switch"?

I've had many M2M experiences as a "top", (with my personal cocksucker, and random hook-ups in ABS video booths), however, those days may now be over.

My experiences as an "oral top" had always been very satisfying, but I received radiation treatments for prostate cancer which left me with this predicament - I get hard, still leak a fair amount of precum, and, although I have orgasms, I really don't cum anymore. So, I have some form of ED, probably to get worse. Many other guys can't get hard without the help of some drug, and that take some planning.

If not for my fear of contracting some STD, I think I would have been an occasional oral bottom. I always had the desire to at least "return the favor". So, while my wife has lost interest in sex - even me making her cum orally (I've always been an excellent pussy licker) - I still have the desire.

So, the desire to bottom orally in a M2M encounter has grown stronger. I'm not submissive at all, although I'm also not dominant. I'm an equal opportunity/rights guy. I think it is, in part, that since I can't cum, I'd be cheating my hook-up out of what he's looking for mostly as a cocksucker - and that's a mouthful of cum; And that to ID as a bottom frees me of the potential to have to reward a cocksucker with that mouthful and saves me from embarrassment, with an underperforming or unperforming cock.

So, Bottoms - what is your main motivation?

 

[Britva415]

It seems to me that many guys looking for in M2M experiences in Lit Forums and Lit Chat are Identifying strictly as "bottoms". Why? Why not at least "Switch"?

It's probably not usually that they won't switch under the right circumstances, it's probably just that they're signaling what they're looking for.

As far as "why aren't they looking for another switch" goes, who can say. Everyone's different, and lots of people have preferences which aren't middle-of-the-road.

I mean, it sounds like you identified strictly as "top" before the radiation. If true, then why so?

Most bottoms like to bottom. It isn't about having to default to bottom because of inability to top "adequately."

I think a "real top" (or at least a not-insecure one) would still top, even without shooting loads or staying hard. Sure, you want to please your bottom, but, topping is an attitude more than it is a specific sex act or capability.

Speaking as someone who also has had ED issues and difficulty orgasming, and topped my way through them anyway, with satisfied partners.

Of course there will be some bottoms who will say, nope, not for me, but that's not universal, and it's not about you.

 

[Escierto]

It's probably not usually that they won't switch under the right circumstances, it's probably just that they're signaling what they're looking for.

As far as "why aren't they looking for another switch" goes, who can say. Everyone's different, and lots of people have preferences which aren't middle-of-the-road.

I mean, it sounds like you identified strictly as "top" before the radiation.

Most bottoms like to bottom. It isn't about having to default to bottom because of inability to top "adequately."

I think a "real top" (or at least a not-insecure one) would still top, even without shooting loads or staying hard. Sure, you want to please your bottom, but, topping is an attitude more than it is a specific sex act or capability.

Speaking as someone who also has had ED issues and difficulty orgasming, and topped my way through them anyway, with satisfied partners.

Of course there will be some bottoms who will say, nope, not for me, but that's not universal, and it's not about you.

I think you are spot on.

 

[Britva415]

Actually, there's another probably-helpful part which I have left out.

I'm a true vers (not to say "switch" because to me that's more about the dom/sub axis than the top/bottom axis)

As such, I have also bottomed for tops who didn't get hard and didn't ejaculate. One of these guys had testicular cancer and so those are gone, and his prostate was affected too.

So I'm not talking out my ass when I say there are bottoms who can handle whatever you have going on. Just be yourself and go after whatever it is you want.

If it's satisfying for you to explore versatility and bring something different to the table than you used to, then great! I'm sure it will be fun. But don't feel like you have to, if you'd prefer to top and are feeling insecure about how bottoms will feel about your abilities. Find the ones who will feel fine about it, and, show them a good time.

Last thing:
Your fear of STDs is misplaced. Partly because you seem to think oral-tops are immune. You aren't and weren't. So if that didn't scare you, bottoming shouldn't be very much more scary than that was, in terms of what could get you, what the consequences could be, and how treatable things are.

No matter what your role, prevention is easy, even for really promiscuous guys. And if you did catch something, treatment is good. Full cures are possible for almost everything except HIV and herpes, and those are both avoidable.

Talk to your doctor about this. He or she can inform you about the risks and prevention options. Ask specifically about pre-exposure and/or post-exposure prophylaxis medications, and about regular testing.

Be confident and go have fun.

 

[Escierto]

Actually, there's another probably-helpful part which I have left out.

I'm a true vers (not to say "switch" because to me that's more about the dom/sub axis than the top/bottom axis)

As such, I have also bottomed for tops who didn't get hard and didn't ejaculate. One of these guys had testicular cancer and so those are gone, and his prostate was affected too.

So I'm not talking out my ass when I say there are bottoms who can handle whatever you have going on. Just be yourself and go after whatever it is you want.

If it's satisfying for you to explore versatility and bring something different to the table than you used to, then great! I'm sure it will be fun. But don't feel like you have to, if you'd prefer to top and are feeling insecure about how bottoms will feel about your abilities. Find the ones who will feel fine about it, and, show them a good time.

Last thing:
Your fear of STDs is misplaced. Partly because you seem to think oral-tops are immune. You aren't and weren't. So if that didn't scare you, bottoming shouldn't be very much more scary than that was, in terms of what could get you, what the consequences could be, and how treatable things are.

No matter what your role, prevention is easy, even for really promiscuous guys. And if you did catch something, treatment is good. Full cures are possible for almost everything except HIV and herpes, and those are both avoidable.

Talk to your doctor about this. He or she can inform you about the risks and prevention options. Ask specifically about pre-exposure and/or post-exposure prophylaxis medications, and about regular testing.

Be confident and go have fun.

Another excellent post especially about health and safety.