Can you confess your Biggest Mistake?

[@}-}rebecca----]

Geoff Sir

 

[Netzach]

One of my biggest mistakes was often feeling like I could do anything but allow other people to have theirs.

 

[A Desert Rose]

One of my biggest mistakes was often feeling like I could do anything but allow other people to have theirs.

I think this is a universal human truth.

I think it goes back to an expectation thing. We expect people to behave a certain way and when they don't, when they stumble or screw up or let us down or make a mistake, it's hard to forgive and accept that about them. It's about misplaced expectations.

I was talking to someone about this very thing last night. People need the space to expand, change, and readapt their lives and their way of thinking. It does happen. People do learn from their mistakes. People do have changes in priorities. People do have life altering events that change their way of seeing the world and those around them. (Ask the thread starter himself if this is not true.)

High expectations are fine, to a point. But it's the misplaced ones that give you the real heartaches. Most of the conflicts in my life have been due to that.

 

[WriterDom]

As humans I think we fall short of perfect everyday. I remember a bad Dom moment. I had just had dinner with a very lovely petite lady. Long black hair down to her ass almost. We had never played and never even been alone before.

So I get her back to the room and we start playing around a bit. She was sitting in the floor blindfolded. I picked up a spreader bar with the intention of snapping it on her ankle restraints. I guess in my excitement I wasn't thinking very clearly and a spun around too fast and just cold cocked her right in the forehead with a wooden dowel about an inch thick. It didn't bleed or even leave a mark as I remember but it shook us both up. And all I could do was fall over her with apologies. Somehow we got past it and had a wonderful time. And I think she has laughed about more than once since then.

My biggest mistake might have been letting her go. But life has its own path sometime that we can't control. There is a saying some like, "If you want to make God laugh, make plans."

 

[coy_one]

I applaud you, Geoff for confessing here.

For, my biggest mistake is something that I do not feel comfortable confessing here. I have confessed - and helped others at two other boards that are heavily moderated from confessing my mistake.

At this point, I really don't feel the need to do so - and I'm no longer ashamed of my mistake. I've used my mistake in order to educate others.

 

[intothewoods]

I've confessed mine several times around here. I'd post it again, but it feels like overkill!

 

[BiBunny]

Here's mine.

Back in the summer after I graduated high school, the guy I'd been dating for a year and I split up. I found out after the fact that he'd been seeing someone behind my back. He got her pregnant, and they were engaged less than a month after he and I broke up. My biggest mistake was in being a coward and walking away.

It's not that I wish I were still with him. I'm glad it didn't work out. However, I should have gone and spoken my piece and gotten the closure I really needed, so I could heal rather than suffering in silence for years over it.

Ancient history won't repeat itself again.

 

[myinnerslut]

mine is something that gets me in trouble over and over again. i just cant seem to learn from it.

i let boys get too close. and not boys im going out with, boys im not attached to at all. ive had stalkers. ive had boys kiss me or try to (completly unconsentual). ive had friendships ruined becuase boys have decided they liked me. all while i have been with A.

i have problems looking my friends in the eye and saying "i dont like you. i will never like you. give up. you will not ever win." even though thats what i need to do.

 

[Homburg]

I've made a couple of mistakes lately. I'm still trying to figure out what the biggest one is. I have an idea or two. Oddly enough, they aren't bitter. They aren't things like "Believing so-and-so when it was all lies". They are real, honest mistakes that I've made.

Mabe when I get clear of my current fog I'll figure it out.

Right now, the biggest mistake I made was to believe someone when they were telling me what I wanted to hear, and not catching the obviously clue that I was hurting them so very badly with my decision.

 

[FurryFury]

I'm impressed with your posts.

My biggest mistakes have been buying into what I was told was wrong and right sexually. My life would have been so different otherwise.

And not knowing myself well enough before getting emotionally involved with others.

Those two eventually lead to huge consequences that even my daughter pays for today.

 

[NALA CAYENNE]

My biggest mistakes are letting other people's perceptions rule my life and taking too long to tell someone how I felt...lots of wasted time.

 

[bholderman]

From the moment I walked through the door, I was the knight in shining armor to my wife. I cooked, cleaned, etc. What I hadnt realized what I was doing was not allowing her to be a person.

The domino effect has led to the utter destruction of our marriage.

 

[sexycaz22]

My admiration for you, E_G has just gone up a more level....respect to you for confessing and admitting your biggest mistake. And thank you for sharing with us.

My biggest mistake, was to let a very good friend (now, not so good friend!) treating me like shit for years before a light bulb came on in my head and earlier this year, I started to let go of her and our close friendship, and I am much happier for it, although I do miss the closeness there were once, I won't be able to trust her again or let her get close to me once again.

 

[Evil_Geoff]

I am, as I almost always am, touched by the openess of others here. Thank you all for sharing your very human moments with me and everyone else here.

Sometimes, our sharing eases a burden we've been carrying for a time, confession is, after all, good for the soul. Sometimes it eases the burden of another, lets them know they are not so alone in their frailty.

Again, thank you all. I hope some of you have found some peace here, and continue to do so.

 

[Life_Noir]

Thank You

I wandered through to check my PM box... And I saw the thread.

Thank you Geoff...
Much as I hate to say it, I think I knew her clone...
*sigh*

Now, I need to go borrow a T-shirt from BiBunny...

 

[professorquixote]

My biggest regret is probably
Being mad at him...maybe if hadn't wished for him to die it would've never happened or maybe I'm just plain ridiculous..
allow me to elaborate-
My dad when i was 5 was diagnosed with prostate cancer and it had been detected
early enough so that if he had gotten the operation to get it removed he would be perfectly fine except..now this is the biggie he was told sex wouldn't be the same..so he had explicitly told my mom (they were divorced at the time because he was physically abuse to her and me and my siblings) that he would rather live for 10 years being able to have sex than live for 30 without...he lived for 20 years being able to have sex...until the cancer spread to his pelvic bone and and lower intestine and stomach..through out his last moments on earth I refused to talk to him and allowed my sister to deal with him...I didn't talk to him I was mad I was pissed with every time I walked into his apartment I cursed his selfishness and hoped he would die..then it happened, August 29 2006, and now I regret being mad at him I wish I had maybe gotten to know him and wish...yeah you get the point

 

[MadManMaestro]

dude...*hug*

 

[Luvkitty33]

My biggest regret is probably
Being mad at him...maybe if hadn't wished for him to die it would've never happened or maybe I'm just plain ridiculous..
allow me to elaborate-
My dad when i was 5 was diagnosed with prostate cancer and it had been detected
early enough so that if he had gotten the operation to get it removed he would be perfectly fine except..now this is the biggie he was told sex wouldn't be the same..so he had explicitly told my mom (they were divorced at the time because he was physically abuse to her and me and my siblings) that he would rather live for 10 years being able to have sex than live for 30 without...he lived for 20 years being able to have sex...until the cancer spread to his pelvic bone and and lower intestine and stomach..through out his last moments on earth I refused to talk to him and allowed my sister to deal with him...I didn't talk to him I was mad I was pissed with every time I walked into his apartment I cursed his selfishness and hoped he would die..then it happened, August 29 2006, and now I regret being mad at him I wish I had maybe gotten to know him and wish...yeah you get the point

I just wanted to tell you that I'm sorry for what you went through with your dad. I can't even begin to imagine what a horrible experience that must have been for you, especially since it was an experience that existed most of your life. I think your dad knew that you loved him and probably even understood your anger. Anyway, I just wanted to say sorry and to send you hugs!

 

[Yasashii_Kaze]

EG, thanks for sharing such a heartfelt story.

My biggest mistake? There are too many, so I'll share one of my most recent. I believed that person I once loved would, and had, changed. By the time I learned he hadn't, I was in deep. I stayed with him when he made me feel like I was the worst person in the world, because I believed that he really was confused and mistaken. I tried to rescue him from himself. And when I realized I couldn't, I blamed myself for letting him treat me the way he did. I was angry with myself; I grew up with abuse and manipulation, I should have known better. I should have seen the signs. I had sworn I would never be victimized again, and I let it happen.

It took me a long time to see the truth; that as long as you have your heart open to people, there's a chance you'll be hurt. I'm not immune to being taken for a ride, just like anyone else. But being a victim is a mentality, not a circumstance. I can care about people and still be smart about it. Will I ever misread someone and get screwed again? Probably. But I won't beat myself up about it. I'll learn and move on.

 

[Luvkitty33]

I'm not going to say that this is my biggest mistake, but I'll say it's a mistake that I've made more than once. I tend to trust people too much with my heart and give too much of myself to them. Even when I've tried to learn from past mistakes and kept at least a small wall up to protect myself, it seems that I no sooner let it down, at that person's request, when they decide to squash my heart. I'll never understand why those who openly give of themselves and care about others the most are usually the ones that get their hearts trampled on the most.

 

[malinborn]

I've made so many mistakes in my life i cannot begin to figure which would be my worst.. so i will go with a simple and recent one... getting my hopes up so much for a job i wasn't really in the running for that i started blabbing to anyone who would listen, including a few co-workers about this fantastic job, throwing my heart into prepping pieces of art for said job... and dreaming of the possibilities.... only to not even be considered for the position

 

[Luvkitty33]

I've made so many mistakes in my life i cannot begin to figure which would be my worst.. so i will go with a simple and recent one... getting my hopes up so much for a job i wasn't really in the running for that i started blabbing to anyone who would listen, including a few co-workers about this fantastic job, throwing my heart into prepping pieces of art for said job... and dreaming of the possibilities.... only to not even be considered for the position

I'm sorry. That must be very disappointing, but I bet there is an even BETTER job out there for you that you'll be even happier to get. Fingers crossed that it finds its way to you soon.