Like I said elsewhere, cookie has been checking in, and she is touched to the core of the outpouring. I don't know if she realized how much she is loved.
NO and I are in 24/7 touch with her. I have not been posting updates, except maybe a few in PM, KIK, etc.
It is not our story to tell, it's hers, if and when, yadda yadda...
She is home. Hubs is home. She has family with her, and as the last we spoke, they are both comfortable.
This thread was a great idea, lowercase pete. I will tell her you started this, if you haven't already.
I can hear her now, reading this and saying "OH you GUYS!!!"
Cookie is one tough...well cookie. Miss you, my friend, but this stuff here takes a backseat to stuff happening offline.....hoping you're ok and wishing you the best....take care and blessed be.
Oh pete! And all of you who replied or messaged - thank you. A million thank you's and hugs -- Mr. cookie knows I'm on Lit, knows I've been having fun with new friends! He smiled hearing about the support we get here. A week ago, we knew he had declined to a point we needed to start planning for the difficult decisions we'd have to make. But just a week ago, we thought we had some time.
2 days ago, he passed out, he was throwing up, he just got sicker. The hospice doctor told us he was actively dying and he said these symptoms indicated Mr. cookie had days to live. What the heck? Days????? On top of it, Mr. cookie felt like he wanted to go. He was hallucinating. He was miserable. Everything the hospice nurse did made him worse. It was this surreal nightmare -- the people who promised comfort care were making him worse.
Sunday night, around 1 a.m. we ended up in the ER. The goal was only to stabilize his nausea. Instead, they told us he had pneumonia.
To make this insane, perfect storm of everything that could go wrong going wrong story shorter... we spent 2 long days in the hospital thinking this was it.
As of right now, he's sleeping in bed at home.
He's weak. He has a hard time speaking. When he looks at me, he's not looking at me. But he's lucid. He's home. He's actually comfortable.
Our days ahead will be more difficult. He's completely bedridden. Lost all muscle control in his neck. It's so weird. He's spent the last two years in his wheelchair pretty much 24/7. He slept in his chair. He never ever got a pressure sore. His bony little butt is now covered in bruises, welts and open sores. In 24 hours, it just went from bad to worse.
I know I share a lot here. Maybe too much sometimes?? I appreciate that some of you are riding this roller coaster ride with me. Some of you have experienced hospice, caring for someone sick, have gone through this grief process and I've appreciated your support, your empathy and your friendship.
Thanks, everyone. I feel really grateful for so much.
Lots and lots of hugs Cookie...glad you are both home, but, oh my, *sigh* I feel every word of your description of your last days. I am just so grateful you are together. And that you seem to have the support to help you in real time. I send you courage and love. holding your hand in the middle of the night...and whenever you need a bit of comfort to carry on to do the next necessary thing.
(((((Cookie))))))
cb
For the love of all that is holy, could you please resize the flowers picture? It's stretching the screen to ungodly levels. Impossible to read on a mobile device.
My stepdad went through all of that about two years ago, before we lost him. Wish could give you a great big hug. Just dropped you a pm to let you know I am still hanging tough in my battle too. I feel the same at times like you do CC, giving out more info that needed, but at times feels good to just get it off your mind and chest too and let our friends know. I know things aren't normal for me yet and probably never will be, but I get up every morning and push on to like you do CookieCat...
Hope this gives you some kind of comfort. That we can survive all this crap cancer is putting us through. I have my bad days and good days, but no way is my cancer ever going to know it is a bad day. I am always looking for my brighter day tomorrow to get through all of this.