discreet affairs hard to find

[rock34]

lol

lol

 

[firefighter02]

HUH?

One would first need to ask how discreet an afair would be in your town. And would it stay that way very long?

As my grandpappy used to say, "Son, don't shit where you eat."

 

[Ylvie]

Are you married/involved with another woman and want to cheat on her? That wasn't all clear. If you are, however, you deserve no answer.

 

[Mary Hall]

Are you married/involved with another woman and want to cheat on her? That wasn't all clear. If you are, however, you deserve no answer.

AMEN!

If your cheating, you deserve to get kicked in the nuts, and i hope you don`t have kids either

 

[Bobmi357]

Of course they are hard to find. Thats why they are called "discreet".

Blatant affairs can be found in walmart, aisle 41, next to "foreign affairs".

One assumes that since you're looking for an "affair" that you are already married. Finding an affair, especially in a small town is pretty easy. Just take out a full page ad in your local newspaper.

Wanted: Affair

Married Gentleman with incredible lack of judgement, self esteem and sense of honor, seeks affair with single woman of low social morality.

All candidates will be screened for immediately life threatening diseases. Long Term diseases are ok. Safe Sex non-issue here, nor is your getting pregnant. Sucessful candidate should be willing to engage in sex at various hidden locations and under assumed names. Fetishes are a bonus.

All candidates may apply by contacting me at the listed numbers. Please hang up if a female answers the phone. Oh yeah, try to use a pay phone as we do have caller ID.

That will get people's attention.

 

[Zergplex]

Zergplex

Of course they are hard to find. Thats why they are called "discreet".

Blatant affairs can be found in walmart, aisle 41, next to "foreign affairs".

One assumes that since you're looking for an "affair" that you are already married. Finding an affair, especially in a small town is pretty easy. Just take out a full page ad in your local newspaper.



That will get people's attention.

I would have you know at Walmart we don't number our aisles! Both foreign affaris and blatent affairs are in the Domestic (problems) department. ^_~

-Zergplex

 

[Bobmi357]

DOH!!! I confused K-mart for Walmart. Silly me....

Attention K-mart Shoppers! For the next 60 minutes, there will be a gang-bang in aisle 14. And for those interested, there is a teenage boy jerking off in a dressing room in Woman's Lingerie!

 

[freddyandeddy]

I just post my discreet affair requirements on E-bay. Since there are so many women in small towns wanting discreet affairs, I started the bidding at $1000.00 (my minimum, plus expenses to get to your small town) and went from there. I was deluged with offers! Interestingly, most of my bidders came from Walmart - Housewares department seemed to generate the most interest. My last winner, located in Wannafhucksmee, TN, flew me in and we had a swell (discreet) time in a parking lot motorhome (you know, Walmart lets you park there), but then got busted by management. It seems you can park and live there, but Walmart's policy of no sex before 11pm is strictly enforced and we were arrested. Due to the nature of the small town (Walmart had driven all the other businesses under and was the only place to shop or eat), our discreet affair became quite public and the Mayor had us shackled and marched through the main square, while the good folks threw cumquats at us and urged that we be burned in a "purging ceremony." Luckily, I was able to seduce the mayor's wife (who happened to be his sister) and she gave me the keys to the 1971 Toyota Corolla (primer-colored to blend in) parked outside their motorhome and I escaped across the border into Mississippi, where more adventures awaited. Of course, if you've managed to read this far, I hope you've learned something from my misfortunes and will choose to give up your pursuit of a discreet affair!

 

[Noor]

Thank you very much Gentleman for providing a much needed laugh.

Noor

 

[freddyandeddy]

Gentlemen, quick! Noor's been spotted in the gun section at the Roseville Walmart...

She promises to be "discreet," too!

"Cleanup on Aisle 9!!!"

 

[Noor]

Gentlemen, quick! Noor's been spotted in the gun section at the Roseville Walmart...

She promises to be "discreet," too!

"Cleanup on Aisle 9!!!"

and quiet as well! [COLOR=sky blue] now that I have found a silencer[/COLOR]

 

[Ylvie]

Hilarious, Bobmi! *wipes tears of laughter from her eyes*

 

[Bobmi357]

Gawd I hate it when they throw cumquats at you. It takes forever to get that crap out of what little hair I have.

The walmart here bought the town, everything, even I think, including the people. Everything here is walmart, from the Gas Stations to notell motels.

Upon entering town, the former Mayor is on the roadside holding up a sign greeting you, and warning you that this is a walmart town. They will prosecute shoplifters, flower pickers, grass pluckers etc...

They paved the next town north of us for Walmart's parking lot. Some of those asphalt sculptures are quite life like, like the people didn't even get a chance to run before they paved over them.

I haven't tried the ebay routine myself, but whatever works for you is cool by me.

You could try putting up a personal website with photos as a way of attracting females of the opposite sex. If you use the new technology and make it a scratch'n'sniff website, you'll be able to attract even more attention.

As a professional designer I've only built one scratch'n'sniff site. And I had to charge the client extra because I ruined 42 monitors getting the site just right. Thats the last time I'll build a website for a fish market, let me tell ya!

Anyway, getting back to the issue at hand, finding a discreet affair. I am positive that if you stake out your local notell motel, you will find dozens of discreet affairs going on. With a decent camera and a little insensitive blackmail, you might even be able to get in on the action.

 

[sheath]

is it just me but i have been looking for a famale lover in and am a good looking man but hard to find a woman in our town looking for the same . do woman not look for these.

*sigh*

As I see it, rock34 didn't show up here asking for a lesson in morality. He was asking a question, plain and simple.

Jeez, people.

To answer the question, yes. Women do look for discreet affairs. They just tend not to look for affairs in the same town. With all due respect, women tend to hide affairs better than men do.

***

I take exception to the comments about a woman who has an affair with a married man as being of 'low social morality'. Affairs start for a million different reasons, and calling out judgment is completely unfair and immature. Perhaps an affair is not for you, and perhaps it is morally wrong in the eyes of society, but until you have stood in that woman's shoes you have no right to condemn or judge.

Two cents from one who has been there.

S.

 

[freddyandeddy]

I'm sorry, I get offended when someone would come into boards like this and propose a question of this nature. We should be trying to tell him how to NOT carry this out (which we are, indirectly). Sheath, your pain in this situation should automatically have you blasting this person and I'm proud of you for choosing the high ground.

From experience, I can tell you there ARE dumb questions. This is one of them.

 

[Bobmi357]

Re: Re: discreet affairs hard to find

I take exception to the comments about a woman who has an affair with a married man as being of 'low social morality'. Affairs start for a million different reasons, and calling out judgment is completely unfair and immature. Perhaps an affair is not for you, and perhaps it is morally wrong in the eyes of society, but until you have stood in that woman's shoes you have no right to condemn or judge.

Two cents from one who has been there.

S.

Its a free board, feel free to take exception to anything you want.

By the way sheath, in case you had your humor detector removed, my original post was intended to be humorous. Lets call a spade a spade here, no one can say "Oh sure, you want an affair, just do this and you'll be sure to get one", its not like there are a set of forms one has to fill out and suddenly you're granted an affair. People fall into them in hundreds of different ways.

Ask a useless question, get a useless answer.

 

[sheath]

Re: Re: Re: discreet affairs hard to find

Its a free board, feel free to take exception to anything you want.

By the way sheath, in case you had your humor detector removed, my original post was intended to be humorous. Lets call a spade a spade here, no one can say "Oh sure, you want an affair, just do this and you'll be sure to get one", its not like there are a set of forms one has to fill out and suddenly you're granted an affair. People fall into them in hundreds of different ways.

Ask a useless question, get a useless answer.

Hmmm.

Well...thanks for the clarification.

S.

 

[freddyandeddy]

So Sheath, Walmart, K-Mart, or Target? Which aisle?

 

[sheath]

So Sheath, Walmart, K-Mart, or Target? Which aisle?

Personally, I prefer Home Depot or Lowes...

And it would have to be in the electric tools aisle.

S.

 

[tendril]

I'm sorry, I get offended when someone would come into boards like this and propose a question of this nature.

.....BOARDS LIKE THIS..... ?? fuck! This is Lit right?

I agree with Sheath, it was just a simple question this guy asked.

 

[sheath]

.....BOARDS LIKE THIS..... ?? fuck! This is Lit right?

I agree with Sheath, it was just a simple question this guy asked.

Thank you.

S.

 

[ReadyOne]

Wonderful Thread!

I saw the title and immedeatly classed it for what it seemed to be. Then when I saw the large neumber of responses, I just had to see why so many people were posting.

LOTFLMAA!

Thank you!

 

[DevilishTexan]

Whatever you do DO NOT look for anything from Lit!!!! Cuz I don't think the word discreet is known round these parts!!!



And Tendril that av is.....um......why it's very nice



www.wickedweasel.com never fails to satisfy!!!

 

[woody54]

We should be trying to tell him how to NOT carry this out (which we are, indirectly).

Well, for fuck sake people

Rock34 asked a simple question and suddenly he is judged and hung by you lot swept up in some higher moral fervour.
He gave scant details of his situation but you judged him anyway.

May I say this is an appropriate forum for his enquiry and the ridicule was uncalled for. This forum is supposed to be for free speech but hypocritical moral outbursts on an erotic discussion board seem out of place.

Freddy , His may be a dumb question but it is Rocks life and he can live it as he sees fit.

 

[peachykeen]

Well, for fuck sake people

Rock34 asked a simple question and suddenly he is judged and hung by you lot swept up in some higher moral fervour.
He gave scant details of his situation but you judged him anyway.

May I say this is an appropriate forum for his enquiry and the ridicule was uncalled for. This forum is supposed to be for free speech but hypocritical moral outbursts on an erotic discussion board seem out of place.

Freddy , His may be a dumb question but it is Rocks life and he can live it as he sees fit.

Oh, lighten up. The reason people are having a laugh about it is that the guy presented himself as such a functionally illiterate rockhead, the temptation to blow him out of the water was just too much to bear. Had he come on and asked his question in reasonably competent manner, with some vague regard for puncutation, grammar, or spelling, and didn't reek of desperation, perhaps he might have had a chance of being taken seriously.