found some - seeking beta readers for gentle FDom/msub audio script

[Lotus_Kitty]

Hello lovely LitE folks!

I am seeking beta readers, preferably subby men, for a gentle FDom/msub audio script I'm working on.

It is set in ancient Mesopotamia and features a supplicant at the temple of Inanna, Queen of Heaven, goddess of sexual pleasure, fertility, and war.

It is not up on LitE yet because I want feedback on a *draft* before publishing a (hopefully) more polished final version on LitE.

Is it ok to ask for draft readers here?
Is it ok for me to post a draft here that isn't published on LitE yet?
If I can't post a draft, how would I send somone a draft, LitE conversation?

I'm still new to LitE. Any help much appreciated!
Lotus_Kitty

-----------------------------------------

questions for readers

- Does it flow?
- Any parts too slow?
- Any parts too fast, need more detail?
- If gentle FDom is your jam, was this gentle FDom?
- Would you like more/less praise for the man?
- What did you like? Why?
- What did you not like? Why?

----------------------------------------

tags

[female voice] [f4m]
gentle [FDom] proud [msub] [praise] [edging]
[cunnilingus] [hard fucking] <-- what tag to use here?
[speaker orgasm] [listener orgasm]
[collar] impact play briefly mentioned not performed

details

- gentle FDom/msub
- female voice for men
- established relationship
- consent, safe word
- the man is praised often
- the man needs to hold off his orgasm to earn a collar
- needs to stand very still while caressed
- gives his Goddess oral
- worships the breasts of his Goddess
- gets ridden by his Goddess, expected to not cum yet
- pounds his Goddess hard, at her request, and gets to finally cum
- implied possible breeding/impregnation, at her request
- ends with collaring and leashing
- aftercare

- no impact play (briefly mentioned)
- no degradation
- no humiliation

 

[Comentarista82]

I'll give it a go, since it interests me how the story will portray Inanna/Ishtarte in part.

 

[Lotus_Kitty]

Thank you, I'll message you about how to send you the draft.

 

[_Lynn_]

Is it ok for me to post a draft here that isn't published on LitE

Just for future reference, posting full stories on the forums is not allowed.

 

[Lotus_Kitty]

Just for future reference, posting full stories on the forums is not allowed.

Thank you _Lynn_. I saw that injunction against draft posting in an Authors forum thread but did not know if it also applied to the Editors section of the forum. Thank you for clarifying that!

 

[MiaBabe23]

Hello lovely LitE folks!

I am seeking beta readers, preferably subby men, for a gentle FDom/msub audio script I'm working on.

It is set in ancient Mesopotamia and features a supplicant at the temple of Inanna, Queen of Heaven, goddess of sexual pleasure, fertility, and war.

It is not up on LitE yet because I want feedback on a *draft* before publishing a (hopefully) more polished final version on LitE.

Is it ok to ask for draft readers here?
Is it ok for me to post a draft here that isn't published on LitE yet?
If I can't post a draft, how would I send somone a draft, LitE conversation?

I'm still new to LitE. Any help much appreciated!
Lotus_Kitty

-----------------------------------------

questions for readers

- Does it flow?
- Any parts too slow?
- Any parts too fast, need more detail?
- If gentle FDom is your jam, was this gentle FDom?
- Would you like more/less praise for the man?
- What did you like? Why?
- What did you not like? Why?

----------------------------------------

tags

[female voice] [f4m]
gentle [FDom] proud [msub] [praise] [edging]
[cunnilingus] [hard fucking] <-- what tag to use here?
[speaker orgasm] [listener orgasm]
[collar] impact play briefly mentioned not performed

details

- gentle FDom/msub
- female voice for men
- established relationship
- consent, safe word
- the man is praised often
- the man needs to hold off his orgasm to earn a collar
- needs to stand very still while caressed
- gives his Goddess oral
- worships the breasts of his Goddess
- gets ridden by his Goddess, expected to not cum yet
- pounds his Goddess hard, at her request, and gets to finally cum
- implied possible breeding/impregnation, at her request
- ends with collaring and leashing
- aftercare

- no impact play (briefly mentioned)
- no degradation
- no humiliation

I know you’re looking mainly for guys, but if you want a woman’s/ switch perspective, I’d be happy to give some feedback, sounds like a good story

 

[Lotus_Kitty]

I know you’re looking mainly for guys, but if you want a woman’s/ switch perspective, I’d be happy to give some feedback, sounds like a good story

I would love your perspective! Thank you for offering to read. I'll message you about how best to get you a draft copy.

 

[masterslave00]

I would be happy to provide feedback too. I have sent you my e-mail address to your DM.

 

[Lotus_Kitty]

I would be happy to provide feedback too. I have sent you my e-mail address to your DM.

Thank you! Much appreciated it. Messaging you back...

 

[Comentarista82]

Thank you, I'll message you about how to send you the draft.

Tone is appropriate, and in her position she has to be superior. Forms of address fit.
Suggested alternating some wording with various synonyms that should fit.
Place a general preface at the beginning of the story to cover a few anachronisms (see doc comments)
Symbolism appropriate for her worshippers, so will pass a fact check if readers investigate

Seemed polished already, tone appropriate and well imagined to fit light BD and tone a sometimes-capricious goddess would adopt. I would imagine or hope it has wide appeal without seeming contrived. It's a very intelligent effort and keeps it accessible to readers.

I didn't see anything requesting analysis on perhaps more poetic parts, but that isn't my specialty anyway.

You should feel pleased with what you have, as all that seemed to me was just some fine tuning needed.

 

[Breastobsessed84]

Messaged you my email if you're still looking for feedback

 

[Lotus_Kitty]

Lovely beta readers, is it ok to thank you by name in the text description of the audio once it gets submitted? If you do NOT want to be mentioned, just let me know here or in messages.

I'll be sending the draft tonight to the two folks who prefer it on google docs rather than by email.

Thank you to the speedy folks who already sent me feedback, you rock!

@Comentarista82
@masterslave00
@subdudeme13
@MiaBabe23
@Gazzspeed
@Breastobsessed84

I do not need more beta readers at this time.