Girls and romanticism

[BiBunny]

What the fuck? Subbier-Than-Thou Pissing Contest, Version 16.7.

 

[SubKekiLee]

Wow cant we all GET along here? Sheesh

 

[Kajira Callista]

What the fuck? Subbier-Than-Thou Pissing Contest, Version 16.7.

No darling...thats what you read into it... because you wanted to. Have a good night.

 

[BiBunny]

No darling...thats what you read into it... because you wanted to. Have a good night.

You don't have to insult everyone else's intelligence to get your point across, dear. Bless your heart.

 

[intothewoods]

somehow i doubt that also.

You're right. I'm here to jerk off.

I'm sorry a bunch of people think you're a mindless slave, but I'm not one of them. I am here to communicate and share ideas, discussions, disagreements, etcetera etcetera etcetera.

I'm not here to find a Dom, find love, or find cybersex.

I admit my post to ADR was testy, but it's not the first time I've asked a question about what she wrote, only to see a reply that reads, you know what, forget it, fuck it all, etc. All I'm saying is can we have the damn discussion without going from zero to I'm outta here in 60 seconds.

 

[myinnerslut]

***************************

 

[nh23]

You're right.. I apologize for my "I U".

Perhaps it's this feeling at seems to come out.. maybe we're just catty little subs.. I dunno..but it seems like people are out to prove that they're MORE.. more dominant, more submissive... someone asks a question about hinting about romantic needs... and then some are aghast that we'd ask about our needs.. with a seemingly (granted text doesnt have tone... ) but seemingly very sarcastic

I don't ask for anything and I don't tell what I want... UNLESS I'm asked to express it. Otherwise, none of it is about me.

I'm a submissive.

What am I missing here?

that statement implies that somehow.. the OP isnt submissive or isnt the right kind or isnt submissive enough...and it was a statement that was agreed upon enough to warrant a "not a lot" and a "I heart u"...

We live on the fringe of what people call "normal".. we fight with the "vanilla's" to have them not see us as crazy or abused/abusive.. for the way we want to live.. but yet all we do is pick at each other.. I dont think we're any different than how they see us and judge us and criticize us...

You know this reminds me of something you once said to me when I was overly worried that people didn't find me subbie enough. You told me that your master tells you that the only ones we have to answer to is ourselves.. and everyone else.. everyone outside your relationship can take a flying leap. I have really taken that to heart. My philosophy now is if your not feeding me or fucking me shut the fuck up. And if I'm not feeding you or fucking you, I'll do the same. There is a huge variety of relationships in the BDSM world. Not one way is right. It's what is right for the people involved in that particular relationship. I myself could never do online only, nor could I have the type of relationships that Sin or Cat have. Does that make me more subbie than the online only, or less subbie than a M/s relationship..Maybe, maybe not. I don't care anymore. I have what makes my Dom and I happy. That's all that matters. That's all that should matter to anyone else.

 

[A Desert Rose]

You don't ask for anything or tell what you want...ever??? Or just in some areas of your relationship?

I asked him if he could bring me a glass of wine tonight, since he was up and in the kitchen. He was happy too.

I still think I'm submissive. But whatever ... what's in a name, eh?

Once again, I never said you were or were not submissive or submissive ENOUGH.

What I posted in post #whatever it was is MY submission, how I view submission, how the Doms I've been with view submission.

I do not ask for or tell any Dom what I want. It is to me, topping and it is to me, passive/aggressive.

And perhaps I missed something in the tone of your post... or maybe not.

I'm tired of feeling less than I am because I don't follow the submissive line that seems to be prevelant here lately. It works both ways. Some of you state that you feel and are offended by a preceived subbier than thou attitude. I feel that my kind of submission is wrong and strange to many of you. And I know I'm not alone in feeling that others who are like me, are looked down on.

I am not politically correct enough for your cliques here. I'm sorry if my opinion offended anyone.

 

[A Desert Rose]

You know this reminds me of something you once said to me when I was overly worried that people didn't find me subbie enough. You told me that your master tells you that the only ones we have to answer to is ourselves.. and everyone else.. everyone outside your relationship can take a flying leap. I have really taken that to heart. My philosophy now is if your not feeding me or fucking me shut the fuck up. And if I'm not feeding you or fucking you, I'll do the same. There is a huge variety of relationships in the BDSM world. Not one way is right. It's what is right for the people involved in that particular relationship. I myself could never do online only, nor could I have the type of relationships that Sin or Cat have. Does that make me more subbie than the online only, or less subbie than a M/s relationship..Maybe, maybe not. I don't care anymore. I have what makes my Dom and I happy. That's all that matters. That's all that should matter to anyone else.

These are the best lines in this thread. And they not only go for you, for your subbie friends, and your Dom, but for me, others like me and others who view D/s in a way similar to me.

 

[nh23]

These are the best lines in this thread. And they not only go for you, for your subbie friends, and your Dom, but for me, others like me and others who view D/s in a way similar to me.

Exactly. That's what I was trying to point out.
Subbie friends?? I have a few friends that are switches..lol
Oh wait, do you think I'm a member of the saran wrap subbie brigade? Lol..nope lost my membership form.

 

[FurryFury]

Yes, sometimes I have hinted.

Yes, sometimes I have come right out with it.

Yes, most of the time I wish it came from him because he wanted it. So rarely does that happen.

Sometime ago, I decided I was damned tired of being the aggressor in our sex life. I figured I'd experiment by putting the ball in his court. Nothing would happen unless he made it happen. When he did it would only be what he wanted to do.

zzzzz

Um, I mean, sex is not something he thinks ahead about. It's about the last thing on his priority list.

His list as far as I can tell goes something like this:

Work
Food
Sports/computer (often tied together)

*sigh*

So, we both miss the sex frequency and kinkiness we were getting when I was more like, "You are off for two days? Then you'd better be bringing it NOW."

*chuckles*

The problem is, I care a little less each day. (Any time we've not had sex in over three days feels like a damn eternity of nothingness to me.) Hell I rarely even masturbate these days.

I HATE being in charge.

I'm too tired and drained to apply myself. I feel like life is waaay too busy right now for me and for him.

So, I suck these days. Hell, we suck these days. However, I have faith that we will get back to a better working order.

Oh, and no, I do NOT watch romantic movies or make my husband watch them because I secretly want him to change. Most movies are very vapid and to my way of think ass backwards about how relationships "should" work.

I watch romantic movies for the bubble gum effect when I feel like it. That's pretty rare. I'd usually rather watch an action film.

I don't actually seek to change my partners ever. That's not to say that sometimes I don't wish he and I were a bit different. Me I do seek to change frequently, not him. I love him as he is, even when I am not thrilled by him as he is, a particular given span of time.

 

[h_i_s]

You're right.. I apologize for my "I U".

Perhaps it's this feeling at seems to come out.. maybe we're just catty little subs.. I dunno..but it seems like people are out to prove that they're MORE.. more dominant, more submissive... someone asks a question about hinting about romantic needs... and then some are aghast that we'd ask about our needs.. with a seemingly (granted text doesnt have tone... ) but seemingly very sarcastic

I don't ask for anything and I don't tell what I want... UNLESS I'm asked to express it. Otherwise, none of it is about me.

I'm a submissive.

What am I missing here?

that statement implies that somehow.. the OP isnt submissive or isnt the right kind or isnt submissive enough...and it was a statement that was agreed upon enough to warrant a "not a lot" and a "I heart u"...

We live on the fringe of what people call "normal".. we fight with the "vanilla's" to have them not see us as crazy or abused/abusive.. for the way we want to live.. but yet all we do is pick at each other.. I dont think we're any different than how they see us and judge us and criticize us...

Sometimes we seem to be reading each others' minds in this relationship.
All other times we communicate VERY well. That's my example and my contribution to this thread. If anyone else has an example to add, they should do so without fucking with my examples.

I don't care how submissive anyone else is or is not. And I don't make blanket statements which effect others, or point the finger [opinion] at others'. I WILL give examples of ME/this realtionship/my experience while doing my best to keep others out of the mix so as not to offend.

So, there is now something wrong with not asking for and not telling? It's another example of reality. It's my reality.

I don't know if you are addressing me or my posts.

Doesn't matter. Your post covers my relationship in it's examples.

We ARE all different.

The only time I get annoyed with being different is when so many others insist that we are NOT different and make an absurd attempt to lump us all together as one and the same.

Too many here make blanket statements. Too many force others to read between the lines in what they are really saying and what they really mean.
I get tired of kicking the blankets off of me. Granted I don't fit to well under most people's blankets. If I want a blanket I will get my own.
I refuse to read between lines. I have no tolerance for that type of crap. It's petty and cheap.

If we were not all different, there wouldn't be much of anything to discuss around here.

I hope someone 'gets it'. I've said enough on this thread.

And fuck off already with the subbier than thou shit. Yeah we are more hardocre than some. So fucking what?? Many that I have met render us as pretty softcore. Big deal. Who gives a shit, really? I don't.
If someone feels less subby it's on them. I really don't have the power to effect someone else in that way. It doesn't effect me.Get real.

 

[Luvkitty33]

So I've been wondering and wondering and wondering. I can sometimes do or say stuff to hint to my bf that I want something specific. But I've found that the male's hint-radar, is old, broken and... basically non-existent. So I always end up having to actually say what it is that I want (oh the horror). But I do tell it eventually. I know how important communication is. I've found that out by reading some posts here, observing my sister's breakup with her fucked-up whimpy boyfriend, who never had the fucking guts to tell her that his feelings for her were basically stalling and falling.... and falling....
.... till they hit the bottom, and he threw her out of their apartment. Well He said that they shouldn't live together anymore, and my sister got the hint and she left. Now she's crying most of the time cos she misses him. But I keep telling her that she doesn't miss HIM.... She misses the good times, and she misses all her "what if"-scenarios. Her fantasies of how perfect it would be if he changed. But... Guy DON'T change! Every damn woman's fault... Guys don't change unless it's something they already have in them.

Anyway I'm kind of getting a bit off topic of what I would say. Well firstly... I think I solved the mystery about girls and romantic films, that they so love to torture their partners with. And I think it's because they want to teach their boyfriend to be more romantic. Or in some cases it is. So guys beware. If your girl makes you watch a romantic movie with her, LEARN from it... I've seen how they go "awww.... Why don't you ever do that?" and then they continue watching the movie. But that sentence could very well be translated to "Please be more romantic!!! I need it! You haven't done anything romantic in months so i'm basically handing your assignment out to you! Take it! Learn it! Please take the hint!!"...

So this made me think about relationship needs, communication, hints... Do you ever hint stuff to your partner or do you flat out tell him "I want this" or "i need this"...
Communication is so important in relationships, and relationships where someone holds back his/her feelings(usually the guy), don't end well very often. The other part will feel drained of energy and decreased sexdrive. Also they might start looking for other people to be with.

So... How do you communicate in your relationship? Do you ever hint out, instead of telling flat out what you want, and how does your partner take this?

I'm just interested in knowing, cos well... I'm finding myself in a dilemma here... Sometimes I want my partner to do something for me, but I want it to come from HIM, not cos I tell him to. Don't get me wrong, we're both fine and really in love with each other still. I love him and he loves me. But I find it difficult to tell him some things because in my perfect little fantasy HE would do it... And do it because it makes him happy.
So I sometimes try to hint it out... but damn. His radar is broken too.. Guess I'll have to fix it somehow.


Anyway I'll stop here before I get too messy... I'll probably continue letting out my thoughts, once I see some responses to this post

Now discuss!

Well, I know where you're coming from because I've been there, done that, so to speak. I did that during my first serious relationship, which lasted a little over 10 years, and let me tell you, it does not work.....well, it didn't work for me.

First I would get upset at the fact that he wasn't romantic or that he didn't know what I wanted or needed. Then I started in with the hinting and passive-aggressive behavior. It still didn't get me what I wanted, and it actually just made me feel worse. It made me frustrated and unable to see the sweet things that he was doing for me......sometimes.

The few times where I hinted or used passive-aggressive behavior to get what I wanted and he picked up on my hinting and/or behavior and gave me what I wanted (not material things....usually time spent doing a particular activity), it didn't make me feel good. I knew he was doing it only because of the hinting, and I wanted it to come from him as his own desire and idea. Sometimes it would lead to an argument.

I finally realized that I needed to try and stop changing him and accept him for who he was. Once I did that, I realized that he was not the right person for me. He was a wonderful, special, loving, kind man, and I loved him and knew that he loved me the best that he knew how, but there were too many things that he couldn't give to the relationship that I needed.

This was not a D/s relationship, and I don't know if any of my comments addressed your question, but I hope it gave you some insights at least. Good luck in your new relationship. Take things slow, accept him for who he is, but definitely communicate. That is critical.

 

[Little_Kitten]

Well, I know where you're coming from because I've been there, done that, so to speak. I did that during my first serious relationship, which lasted a little over 10 years, and let me tell you, it does not work.....well, it didn't work for me.

First I would get upset at the fact that he wasn't romantic or that he didn't know what I wanted or needed. Then I started in with the hinting and passive-aggressive behavior. It still didn't get me what I wanted, and it actually just made me feel worse. It made me frustrated and unable to see the sweet things that he was doing for me......sometimes.

The few times where I hinted or used passive-aggressive behavior to get what I wanted and he picked up on my hinting and/or behavior and gave me what I wanted (not material things....usually time spent doing a particular activity), it didn't make me feel good. I knew he was doing it only because of the hinting, and I wanted it to come from him as his own desire and idea. Sometimes it would lead to an argument.

I finally realized that I needed to try and stop changing him and accept him for who he was. Once I did that, I realized that he was not the right person for me. He was a wonderful, special, loving, kind man, and I loved him and knew that he loved me the best that he knew how, but there were too many things that he couldn't give to the relationship that I needed.

This was not a D/s relationship, and I don't know if any of my comments addressed your question, but I hope it gave you some insights at least. Good luck in your new relationship. Take things slow, accept him for who he is, but definitely communicate. That is critical.

Thanks for your words.

I understand about the hinting being a bad thing. So that's why I try to communicate with him when there's something I need to tell him. Hinting gets frustrating and boring, and I see it as a bad trait.. In my anyway. I don't like when I do it, but sometimes I do.
Also, I love him from all my heart, and I'm guilty of being too selfish in the past... Not noticing the little things he was doing for me. Now when I think of it, it makes me all woozy and happy. But I do believe that communicating one's feelings is the best way to keep a relationship healthy. Because it clarifies things. It could have been a misunderstanding... It could have been something I was wrong in, or something he was wrong in.


Anyway... To the rest of you.... I apologize to anyone that I might have offended. But thing is I felt attacked, because it seemed to me people's attitudes were that a submissive doesn't ask for things.
But I do ask for things... And I'm a submissive. I'm still in the process of finding myself. Also, I respect all of you peoples' relationships. I think that as long as the relationship works for the individuals, things are cool.

And ADR, I respect your view on submissiveness and relationships... But your post just came out a little judgmental towards me. I'm sorry if I came out whiny though.

 

[bholderman]

Little Kitten,

I havent read the other posts yet, it took me awhile to think your dilemma out. For some reason, and Im not trying to brag, I tried that. I tried to listen to the subtle clues my wife was sneding, we did watch chick flicks (heck, French Kiss is actually on my favorites list). In the long run, I even started flat out asking her, I knew she was missing something.

What was scary is that I knew what it was. If youve' seen the film So I married an Axe Murderer, a good portion of the beggining is that meeting and wooing stage. She would watch that over and over, talk about it, continually bring up the fact that she missed that part of the relationship.

I understood that, on a tight budget, the routine of marriage, work and three kids, did what I could. But, 6months ago she crashed mentally, in a way similar to her mother. And Im not making bad mother-in-law jokes, I saw the last five years of a 20 year descent into some psych-breakdown for my mother-in-law. My wife is in the ealry stages. Then along comes a sweet talking, selfish shithead pretending to be a friend of the family...

What I think I need to say is that his radar might not be broken, there might be a number of things getting in the way. Even my wife never knew all the fantastic set up dates I had planned simply because at days end I was wondering where all of our money went.

I would say his radar isnt broken (evem though it might be), but he isnt a mind reader either. He might pick up on small clues, but he will never get it just right, dont expect that. At some point too, you may have to come out and say, "I need this from you! I dont want to go anywhere else to find it."

My wife has needed other things, space and time to collect herself. For two months, I endeavored to get myself through my devastation while trying to get her to realize the destruction she was causing and that yeah, I knew she needed things. It wasnt until just last night, she finally removed herself from everything. That includes me, but at this time, thats acceptable.

You have to expect some degree of routine, thats the natural order of things. But dont sit back and expect him to read your mind, it wont happen. But there also tactful ways of doing first. More than just watching movies. Whatever you do, dont hand him a romance novel.

I actually am finding myself with a lot to say on the doos and donts, if you want, give me a pm.

So I've been wondering and wondering and wondering. I can sometimes do or say stuff to hint to my bf that I want something specific. But I've found that the male's hint-radar, is old, broken and... basically non-existent. So I always end up having to actually say what it is that I want (oh the horror). But I do tell it eventually. I know how important communication is. I've found that out by reading some posts here, observing my sister's breakup with her fucked-up whimpy boyfriend, who never had the fucking guts to tell her that his feelings for her were basically stalling and falling.... and falling....
.... till they hit the bottom, and he threw her out of their apartment. Well He said that they shouldn't live together anymore, and my sister got the hint and she left. Now she's crying most of the time cos she misses him. But I keep telling her that she doesn't miss HIM.... She misses the good times, and she misses all her "what if"-scenarios. Her fantasies of how perfect it would be if he changed. But... Guy DON'T change! Every damn woman's fault... Guys don't change unless it's something they already have in them.

Anyway I'm kind of getting a bit off topic of what I would say. Well firstly... I think I solved the mystery about girls and romantic films, that they so love to torture their partners with. And I think it's because they want to teach their boyfriend to be more romantic. Or in some cases it is. So guys beware. If your girl makes you watch a romantic movie with her, LEARN from it... I've seen how they go "awww.... Why don't you ever do that?" and then they continue watching the movie. But that sentence could very well be translated to "Please be more romantic!!! I need it! You haven't done anything romantic in months so i'm basically handing your assignment out to you! Take it! Learn it! Please take the hint!!"...

So this made me think about relationship needs, communication, hints... Do you ever hint stuff to your partner or do you flat out tell him "I want this" or "i need this"...
Communication is so important in relationships, and relationships where someone holds back his/her feelings(usually the guy), don't end well very often. The other part will feel drained of energy and decreased sexdrive. Also they might start looking for other people to be with.

So... How do you communicate in your relationship? Do you ever hint out, instead of telling flat out what you want, and how does your partner take this?

I'm just interested in knowing, cos well... I'm finding myself in a dilemma here... Sometimes I want my partner to do something for me, but I want it to come from HIM, not cos I tell him to. Don't get me wrong, we're both fine and really in love with each other still. I love him and he loves me. But I find it difficult to tell him some things because in my perfect little fantasy HE would do it... And do it because it makes him happy.
So I sometimes try to hint it out... but damn. His radar is broken too.. Guess I'll have to fix it somehow.


Anyway I'll stop here before I get too messy... I'll probably continue letting out my thoughts, once I see some responses to this post

Now discuss!

 

[intothewoods]

Once again, I never said you were or were not submissive or submissive ENOUGH.

What I posted in post #whatever it was is MY submission, how I view submission, how the Doms I've been with view submission.

I do not ask for or tell any Dom what I want. It is to me, topping and it is to me, passive/aggressive.

And perhaps I missed something in the tone of your post... or maybe not.

I'm tired of feeling less than I am because I don't follow the submissive line that seems to be prevelant here lately. It works both ways. Some of you state that you feel and are offended by a preceived subbier than thou attitude. I feel that my kind of submission is wrong and strange to many of you. And I know I'm not alone in feeling that others who are like me, are looked down on.

I am not politically correct enough for your cliques here. I'm sorry if my opinion offended anyone.

ADR, let me just say I am truly not offended by different choices and opinions. I know there is a divide around here, but I'm not part of it. I'm not in any clique - truly!

I am in fact still deciding for myself what a submissive is, and what a slave is. I've asked questions to sinn0cent and cat about their lives, because I'm interested. I do challenge statements, but I try generally to do it respectfully. I'm glad I spoke my mind on those occasions, because I really learned a lot.

My "maybe I'm not a submissive" was kind of passive aggressive, and for that I do apologize. But there was also truth there, as I am still learning and questioning what I am.

 

[bholderman]

Another item from the Significant Other perspective. He might be quietly sitting on the other side of the couch thinking the same thoughts, on a male tack anyway.

That lack of communication is going to turn to resentment for the two of you. ANd yes, you might have to be the hero in the whole thing, bite the bullet and start talking yourself and bring him out. My therapist put the first step plainly and simply, "What do you need/want from me?"

 

[Little_Kitten]

Another item from the Significant Other perspective. He might be quietly sitting on the other side of the couch thinking the same thoughts, on a male tack anyway.

That lack of communication is going to turn to resentment for the two of you. ANd yes, you might have to be the hero in the whole thing, bite the bullet and start talking yourself and bring him out. My therapist put the first step plainly and simply, "What do you need/want from me?"

No no... It's not like we don't communicate at all. If I feel I need to, I talk to him

I dont ever allow things to get too far.... Hiding feelings/bottling them up is bad.

 

[CutieMouse]

*****

 

[EmpressFi]

You know this reminds me of something you once said to me when I was overly worried that people didn't find me subbie enough. You told me that your master tells you that the only ones we have to answer to is ourselves.. and everyone else.. everyone outside your relationship can take a flying leap. I have really taken that to heart. My philosophy now is if your not feeding me or fucking me shut the fuck up. And if I'm not feeding you or fucking you, I'll do the same. There is a huge variety of relationships in the BDSM world. Not one way is right. It's what is right for the people involved in that particular relationship. I myself could never do online only, nor could I have the type of relationships that Sin or Cat have. Does that make me more subbie than the online only, or less subbie than a M/s relationship..Maybe, maybe not. I don't care anymore. I have what makes my Dom and I happy. That's all that matters. That's all that should matter to anyone else.

You're right.. I did forget to take my own advice..

 

[JMohegan]

None of this makes any sense to me.

I don't ask for anything and I don't tell what I want... UNLESS I'm asked to express it. Otherwise, none of it is about me.

I'm a submissive.

What am I missing here?

In a relationship with someone like me, what you would be "missing" is the fact that I genuinely appreciate unsolicited expressions of the wants, needs, and desires of a submissive partner.... UNLESS the expressions are delivered in a tone that I find unacceptable, or in a manner or at a time that I don't appreciate.

 

[the captians wench]

In a relationship with someone like me, what you would be "missing" is the fact that I genuinely appreciate unsolicited expressions of the wants, needs, and desires of a submissive partner.... UNLESS the expressions are delivered in a tone that I find unacceptable, or in a manner or at a time that I don't appreciate.

See I'm pretty blunt with things that I want and desire. I just usually express them in the most adorable way that I can *giggles*, you know giggle, eye bat, pout. But I also give fairly obvious signals as to what I want as well.

I was told by many that I play with and few I have called my PYL that if I want something I should ask for it. That doesn't always mean that I will get what I want, but it does up the chances.

I have also found, that when I beat around the bush, just leaving clues as to what I want and hoping he'll pick up on them, he usually does pick up on them...but since I refuse to ask for what I want, he refuses to acknowledge that he knows what I want, and insted will tease and torment me into wanting it more and thinking that I won't get it.

much easier just to put a humble request in.

 

[malinborn]

I find .. if I hint.. and this goes for Master and Malin.. all I end up with is frustration.

PFFFFFFFFT
**grins**

 

[intothewoods]

I don't know why there's so much hostility. You see it so often around here - I AM AN EGGPLANT. My definition of an eggplant is a girl with a nice ass. I am eggplant! End of story!

Okay, but then what it does it mean when I call the little globes in my fridge eggplants? If it's a girl with a nice ass to some people, but a vegetable to others, how the hell will we know what we're having for dinner? (Come on - eggplant humor!)

Language matters. Words matter. If they didn't, Imus would never have been kicked off the air. He could just say, what, my definition of nappy headed hos is really awesome female basketball players! Fuck off!

We are here to discuss and argue and vent and share. We don't have to agree all the time, and we don't have to rely on others for our sense of self-worth. I don't need you (general you) to tell me I'm a good person, girl, woman, submissive, bottom, whatthefuckevah. (Though it is part of my kink, and do include a pat on the head, okay?)

 

[Homburg]

In a relationship with someone like me, what you would be "missing" is the fact that I genuinely appreciate unsolicited expressions of the wants, needs, and desires of a submissive partner.... UNLESS the expressions are delivered in a tone that I find unacceptable, or in a manner or at a time that I don't appreciate.

Well said on both counts, bravo.

I like hearing what she wants, though I am unlikely to actually give her whatever it is right then. It helps me to know what she likes and desires so that I can put it on The List. And when I feel like hitting that particular point on The List, it gets done, if ever. And eeeevery once in a while, what she wants is just so very hot that it has to get done right then. I am unashamed to take inspiration from all kinds of sources.