How To Ask a Friend To Get Checked Out?

[AsylumSeeker]

Have a guy I work with, has a new baby, he's 40 and has unhealthy habits plus belly fat and goes to the bathroom alot. Thinking possible diabetes as he also puts away alot of cinammon rolls and seems to have an unending appetite.

I am not pointing fingers, am overweight as well but changing my diet. He laughs off my concerns and also doesn't have health insurance. But we have a nurse at work who can check blood sugar level for free, blood pressure, etc.

How do I convince him to take advantage of these free benefits without insulting him? There are several of us at work noticing the same thing and expressing the same concern, but he's not the type to give in.

Any ideas?

I have a speech prepared, telling him he needs to be there for his daughter, etc, but he's stubborn and I'm afraid would rather die than to realize he's at risk.

 

[Noira]

Eating a lot of cinammon rolls certainly doesn't point to diabetes. I'm overweight and eat more than skinny people, and well, used to have an unending appetite... now I'm starving and the very idea of eating is unappealing due to some dental issues, it starts to hurt when I eat. I'd look more for real symptoms there, like the going to the washroom a lot... can you match up other potential symptoms of diabetes? I'm a blunt person and I'd just tell him "I've noticed you do this and that could mean this."

Unfortunately, I know the type. I'm related to the type, I'm really trying to press the need upon my brother to get his health checked out. It might take something bad happening before he takes advantage of the free opportunities to check his health and get on the right track. I'd tell him straight out but unfortunately with a stubborn person, they generally have to find out for themselves that something's wrong.

 

[TypicalDeviant]

Have a guy I work with, has a new baby, he's 40 and has unhealthy habits plus belly fat and goes to the bathroom alot. Thinking possible diabetes as he also puts away alot of cinammon rolls and seems to have an unending appetite.

I am not pointing fingers, am overweight as well but changing my diet. He laughs off my concerns and also doesn't have health insurance. But we have a nurse at work who can check blood sugar level for free, blood pressure, etc.

How do I convince him to take advantage of these free benefits without insulting him? There are several of us at work noticing the same thing and expressing the same concern, but he's not the type to give in.

Any ideas?

I have a speech prepared, telling him he needs to be there for his daughter, etc, but he's stubborn and I'm afraid would rather die than to realize he's at risk.

In college, a friend of mine was really depressed. I was sort of depressed. I "tricked" him into getting checked out by saying, "hey, I've been kind of blue lately, I'm going to talk to (trustworthy psych prof), come with me." Note the command and lack of option for him, so to speak.

We did it together, he got help, woot woot

 

[AsylumSeeker]

In college, a friend of mine was really depressed. I was sort of depressed. I "tricked" him into getting checked out by saying, "hey, I've been kind of blue lately, I'm going to talk to (trustworthy psych prof), come with me." Note the command and lack of option for him, so to speak.

We did it together, he got help, woot woot

Thanks for the responses. I realize a big appetite does not necessarily equate to a disease, just worried about a friend. Think it's worth checking out, especially as it can be done so at no out-of-pocket costs.

 

[SweetErika]

Thanks for the responses. I realize a big appetite does not necessarily equate to a disease, just worried about a friend. Think it's worth checking out, especially as it can be done so at no out-of-pocket costs.

But if he has something like diabetes, it'll likely have to be treated at great expense, unless he can find a free/low-cost clinic or something in your area. He's probably afraid of feeling compelled to make really tough decisions as a result of finding things out.

Also, if conditions aren't diagnosed, they often aren't considered preexisting by health insurance. Seeing the company's nurse could be enough to make something like diabetes a preexisting condition, thus putting him in a bad situation if he does get insurance in the future.

Those aren't excuses for not taking care of himself, but I'm guessing they're a couple of things that are running through his head and making him avoid getting any symptoms checked.

 

[Experiencedguy]

It doesn't work

Look - I've got (had) two friends in the same situation. They have both been hospitalized in the past, and had their problems explained to them by medical professionals. One refused to do anything, and died. The other is still alive, and refusing to do anything.

It is just like alcoholism. You can talk and talk all you want, but unless the other person wants to do something about it (and admits there is a problem), there isn't anything you can do about it. All you are going to do by bringing it up is pissing off the other person (they already know there is a problem, but until that person knows it is their problem, and wants to fix it, there isn't anything you can do). Many people would rather die from enjoying their excesses than eliminate bad habits.

 

[LaRocha]

If he has hypoglycemia, there should come a point where he'll have so much abdominal pain that he'll seek a doctor, and well before he goes into insulin shock. Likely he doesn't have diabetes, even folks with mild diabetes know there's something wrong with them whether or not they can label it. You could always make a bet where the loser has to drink pee from a cup, lose the best, get his pee and have it tested.

Or you can face the fact that you're both adults and you can't care more about his health and his family than him. Worry about your health and your family and maybe give him pamphlets on diabetes and obesity.

It's probably not about money either. Most men, even with health insurance, will only go to the doctor when they're seriously ill.