How to charm a woman?

[Man with a Plan]

I am really not sure where to begin with my story. I guess it all started when I was 3 years old (19 years ago, as I am 22 now). I met this beautiful young girl in my neighborhood. I was the new kid around and she really befriended me as did her whole family. Her brother who is older than I am became my best friend. I had my first kiss with her when I was 8 years old. Though it was just an innocent childhood kiss. Though as I entered my teenage years I began to develop a crush on her. She had developed into a rather sexy woman. Finally at age 14, I finally got the guts to ask her out only to have her flat out reject me. Of course I was a long shot seeing as she usually liked the bad boys and the slackers in class while I was the nice guy with the good grades.

Over time though I would assume her silly fetish with bad boys would go away but it really hasn't. She still goes after the unstable bad boy. Even at age 22, you think she'd have some direction in her life. Sad part is that I am actually good friends with her brother and father which would actually make me the ideal person to date seeing as the whole "Meet the Parents" deal would be out of the way. I am absolutely in love with her and I have been since I hit puberty. Only problem is that no matter how nice I am to her she rejects me.

I have no idea what I am doing wrong.

 

[Ms_Lilith]

You're not doing anything wrong. She just isn't interested.

Maybe it would help if you stopped thinking about her, and moved on. Sometimes when a person no longer has someone in their lives, they realize what they've lost.

 

[Man with a Plan]

It's actually pretty hard to not think about her. It's just sad to see her wondering through life dating nothing but losers who aren't in college and are working low-paying jobs. She is a very beautiful woman and I think she deserves better but that's just my opinion.

Anyway, I have tried to get her off of my mind but she wonders back there. I don't know how that is but I feel a deep love for her that I can't describe.

 

[Ms_Lilith]

see, here's the thing. You're worried about her life. It's HER life. And while I understand a friendly concern, who she dates and what she does is up to her. I had to date a few assholes before I found the right guy, and while I wasn't aware that they were assholes when I started dating them, they eventually showed their true colours.

She might also think of you as a brother-figure, having known you so long. Something to think about.

My point here is just that.. she has her life, and you have yours.. and while I understand that you have feelings for her, filling your life up with things to do might take your mind off of her, and allow you to move on.

 

[Man with a Plan]

I perfectly understand what you are saying. While I was away at college, I had a very beautiful girlfriend. Unfortunately things didn't work out between us but anyway. I have had a few girlfriends in High School and College so I am not obsessed with her. I don't know why I keep getting drawn back to her everytime I see her.

EDIT- I feel like I have to edit this in to add some clarity. During high school and college. I had sex with some nice looking girls and I never really thought about her until I got home and saw her. Mysterious to me as to why that happens.

 

[la mariposita]

I feel for you. It must be hard dealing with unrequited love, but I do agree with vixenshe. It is her loss if she misses the one good thing under her nose. Too bad for her.

Try to move on and find someone who will appreciate and love you back.

 

[Classical_Wizard]

forbidden fruit perhaps? Or maybe a comfort zone since you already know her?

 

[dollface007]

I'm working on getting over a crush as well, so i know how you're feeling.

Look at it this way: She knows you much more intimately than most other potential girlfriends. She may not be mature enough (and she may never be) to handle that kind of intimacy in a romantic relationship. And if she knows you that well and knows how you feel and still doesn't want a relationship, your chances are pretty grim. "Charming" her is not possible at this point b/c she knows you too well.

You can't be some kind of knight in shining armor who saves her from the losers she's dating. I know it's painful to watch it all go down, but if you can at all distance yourself from her, i think it will be a good thing.