doormouse
Seductively Sweet
- Joined
- Apr 11, 2004
- Posts
- 4,407
These were sent in an email, but would make funny stories!!
ADULT FAIRY TALES
PINOCCHIO
Pinocchio had a human girlfriend who would sometimes
complain about splinters when they were having sex.
Pinocchio, therefore, went to visit Gepetto to see if
he could help. Gepetto suggested he try a little
sandpaper on his manhood and Pinocchio skipped away
enlightened. A couple of weeks later, Gepetto saw
Pinocchio bouncing happily through town and asked him,
"How's the girlfriend?" Pinocchio replied, "Who needs
a girlfriend?"
CINDERELLA
Cinderella wants to go to the ball, but her wicked
stepmother won't let her. As Cinderella sits crying in
the garden, her fairy godmother appears, and promises
to provide Cinderella with everything she needs to go
to the ball, but only on two conditions. "First, you
must wear a diaphragm." Cinderella agrees. "What's
the second condition?" "You must be home by 2a.m. Any
later, and your diaphragm will turn into a pumpkin."
Cinderella agrees to be home by 2 a.m. The appointed
hour comes and goes, and Cinderella doesn't show up.
Finally, at 5 a.m., Cinderella shows up looking
love-struck and very satisfied. "Where have you been?"
demands the fairy godmother. "Your diaphragm was
supposed to turn into a pumpkin three hours ago!!!" "I
met a prince, Fairy Godmother. He took care of
everything." "I know of no prince with that kind of
power! Tell me his name!" "I can't remember,
exactly...Peter Peter, something or other..."
MICKEY MOUSE
Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse were in divorce court
and the judge said to Mickey, "You say here that your
wife is crazy." Mickey replied, "I didn't say she was
crazy, I said she's fucking Goofy."
DONALD DUCK
Donald went into the local Pharmacy to purchase some
condoms. He took them up to the cashier who asked "
Would you like me to put them on your bill"? Donald
became irate and screamed "What do you think I am a
pervert"?
RED RIDING HOOD
Little Red Riding Hood was walking through the woods
when suddenly the Big Bad Wolf jumped out from behind
a tree and, holding a sword to her throat, said, "Red,
I'm going to screw your brains out!" To that, Little
Red Riding Hood calmly reached into her picnic basket
and pulled out a .44 magnum and pointed it at him and
said, "No you're not! You're going to eat me, just
like it says in the book."
ADULT FAIRY TALES
PINOCCHIO
Pinocchio had a human girlfriend who would sometimes
complain about splinters when they were having sex.
Pinocchio, therefore, went to visit Gepetto to see if
he could help. Gepetto suggested he try a little
sandpaper on his manhood and Pinocchio skipped away
enlightened. A couple of weeks later, Gepetto saw
Pinocchio bouncing happily through town and asked him,
"How's the girlfriend?" Pinocchio replied, "Who needs
a girlfriend?"
CINDERELLA
Cinderella wants to go to the ball, but her wicked
stepmother won't let her. As Cinderella sits crying in
the garden, her fairy godmother appears, and promises
to provide Cinderella with everything she needs to go
to the ball, but only on two conditions. "First, you
must wear a diaphragm." Cinderella agrees. "What's
the second condition?" "You must be home by 2a.m. Any
later, and your diaphragm will turn into a pumpkin."
Cinderella agrees to be home by 2 a.m. The appointed
hour comes and goes, and Cinderella doesn't show up.
Finally, at 5 a.m., Cinderella shows up looking
love-struck and very satisfied. "Where have you been?"
demands the fairy godmother. "Your diaphragm was
supposed to turn into a pumpkin three hours ago!!!" "I
met a prince, Fairy Godmother. He took care of
everything." "I know of no prince with that kind of
power! Tell me his name!" "I can't remember,
exactly...Peter Peter, something or other..."
MICKEY MOUSE
Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse were in divorce court
and the judge said to Mickey, "You say here that your
wife is crazy." Mickey replied, "I didn't say she was
crazy, I said she's fucking Goofy."
DONALD DUCK
Donald went into the local Pharmacy to purchase some
condoms. He took them up to the cashier who asked "
Would you like me to put them on your bill"? Donald
became irate and screamed "What do you think I am a
pervert"?
RED RIDING HOOD
Little Red Riding Hood was walking through the woods
when suddenly the Big Bad Wolf jumped out from behind
a tree and, holding a sword to her throat, said, "Red,
I'm going to screw your brains out!" To that, Little
Red Riding Hood calmly reached into her picnic basket
and pulled out a .44 magnum and pointed it at him and
said, "No you're not! You're going to eat me, just
like it says in the book."