Perfectionist

[Eyelevel]

Is anyone else married to a perfectionist. I can’t get her to understand how destructive it is for me and our relationship. There is no measure that I can achieve that she will not find something wrong. It is very hard to keep maintaining my healthy mindset day and after day when there is no sense of accomplishment. She also never adds up the things I do and just concentrates on the mistakes.

 

[Adventure_N_60s]

Sounds very toxic and unhealthy both physically and mentally. I dated a perfectionist for a little over a year. I stayed in the relationship for so long because she was an uninhibited animal in the bedroom but that even got tiresome even though it was exciting. The mental abuse just got too much for me to take.

Good luck to you

 

[Imakewetspots]

You gotta figure if it’s a big enough problem to want to talk about it with others, then it’s the kind of problem that can’t go ignored at home. There is nothing anyone can offer that will make you happy about the way you’re being treated nor can anyone offer anything that will bring about a change in her.

I will assume you’ve tried many times to discuss this with her and if so, I see only two solutions. Either get her to agree to you two attending marriage counseling (recommended) or accept that the situation is unfixable requiring divorce (last resort).

One thing I strongly suggest is to NOT keep going on as you are, hoping things miraculously change at some point. Nothing will change until you do things to bring about that change. And sadly, there’s no guarantee it will change for the better then. But if you are forced to divorce, you might find happiness with someone else down the road.