repetitive buuut...? about sexy emails

[xXMorticiaXx]

So im married,and dont want to cross any lines and get my self in any trouble with my mr.

So in case it comes up...i dont know how to successfully email/pm/ whatever wothout feeling awkward. How does one start? Or respond? Im clueless.

Thanks friwnds!

 

[NippleMuncher]

If you're looking for online romance, can't help. If you're looking to have some private conversation, then just pm, email, or what-have-you the person of your interest. Talk about whatever is on your mind.

 

[Reba67]

It really depends on what you're looking for. And, you need to know where your own line in the sand is. If you just want conversation, just jump into various messages on the forum. If you're wanting specific private sexy chats, well, you kind of need to find someone who is interested. Many of us, especially women get a lot of PMs (although I don't too much anymore since I changed my signature to "Just because I'm online doesn't mean I want to cyber with you". I'm sure there are a ton of guys who are the same as me and not interested in private chats. If you want to look for one, try the personal ads. Someone is looking. Some of us just come here for a safe place to talk about sex stuff without embarrasment.....not just to get our jollies.

 

[xXMorticiaXx]

I probably shoulf have worded this differently.

We have discussed boundaries. Early in our relationship,actually.

Its kind of a generic question. I mean even with him. I am just clueless with sexy literature or writing. I dont want to be too brash,or say somrthing ridiculous,but i want to be able to come across appropriately. Ill try to send sexy texts,and he NEVER pick up on it.

Thanks for the help

 

[Reba67]

Oh. Sometimes with my man I have to be pretty blunt ....like sending an email saying that I streaked past his cubical naked for him to even pick up that I'm sexmailing him. Men don't always see the "obvious".

 

[Boundlife]

I probably shoulf have worded this differently.

We have discussed boundaries. Early in our relationship,actually.

Its kind of a generic question. I mean even with him. I am just clueless with sexy literature or writing. I dont want to be too brash,or say somrthing ridiculous,but i want to be able to come across appropriately. Ill try to send sexy texts,and he NEVER pick up on it.

Thanks for the help

And we have the issue

If you censor your self too much....He'll never pick up on it

Don't worry about ridiculous, it can come across as adorable and/or funny

As for brash saying where the line is hard, but if hubbie doesn't notice you can dial it up

would texting "I can't wait to get you into bed" too brash?

 

[NippleMuncher]

Men don't always see the "obvious".

Oh, trust me, men see the obvious. When we want a beer, we say we want a beer, we don't say that the sun setting over the Budweiser plant this time of year is lovely. If you walk scantily clad in front of the TV, we're gonna notice (as long as the ball game isn't on ... ).

The thing is, women tend to hint at what they want with things like, "you should have known I wanted sex last night because I put candles on the table for dinner." If you wanted sex, just say "I want sex". No confusion, no reading between the lines, and odds are, you're gonna get laid!

 

[xXMorticiaXx]

Its odd,cuz ive never been the girl to skirt around the issue. But after all of this time,its hard to approach things.i try to start off slowly, but it always goes over his head. It also doesnt help that we work stupid hours,and dont get much timw together.

Meh.

 

[NippleMuncher]

While there was a certain amount of teasing in my last post, it isn't without its truths. Guys tend to be extremely literal. We don't tip-toe around the things we want, we tend to categorically state - "that's what I want". If we don't say it with words we say it with actions (lights off, rip your clothes off, have our way with you ... ).

You ladies, on the other hand, tend to hint and throw clues as to what it is you want, you don't just say "I want ..."

So, with that being said, what is it that you don't think you're skirting around?

 

[gunny1341]

I kinda find if i come across someone and enjoy their posts or look at their profile pic and am attracted to them (BTW your profile pic is quiet stunning) I will pm..start slow..and see where it leads

 

[xXMorticiaXx]

Example: he is a bartender as well,and there was a time where he was working, our son was staying over nana's house, and a friend and i had gone yo a concert,we had a few beers thre. We went to visit him at his bar, and she was egging me on to text him. While he was working.

Our first sexual encounter was on a table behind the dumpsters at thebar, and i texted him along the lines of "just went w/j outside so she could smoke. By dumpsters. Got wet thinling of the first time you fucked me out there."

He sent back "ok".

UGH. 3 texts later, i he was oblivious.
Eh,whatever. I think hes also weirded out by it bcuz once when he was drunk, he texted my stwpmom on accident, he lists everyone in my family w/my my first name as there last name -joe,MORTICIA for ex, for my bro.

Im so lost! You guys are a great help. Thanks for the positivity and sweet feedback ;-).

Also,muncher, i crack up EVERYTIME i see that av.hilar!

 

[silverwhisper]

morticia, i've been with my wife for 20 years, married for 10+ of them. we are usually very good with our communications.

and you know something? i still don't get it half the time when she's trying to tell me she'd be open to my sexual overtures.

you're still being too subtle. as has been stated by others: explicitly tell him what you're after. or hell, take him by the hand and lead him into the bedroom, throw his ass on the bed and start ripping off clothes.

a lot of men spend a lot of time trying to tease the meaning out of the tea leaves because the women in their lives hint at what they want. men do not possess telepathy and hinting doesn't actually work, as the very existence of this thread should demonstrate. :>

ed

 

[SweetErika]

So im married,and dont want to cross any lines and get my self in any trouble with my mr.

So in case it comes up...i dont know how to successfully email/pm/ whatever wothout feeling awkward. How does one start? Or respond? Im clueless.

Thanks friwnds!

Admittedly, I'm still confused as to whether you want advice on the above (and, if so, what exactly "successfully" and "without feeling awkward" mean to you; in other words, what is your desired outcome, and where are your boundaries?), or if you want advice on texting or writing your husband.

In terms of talking to people here (or anywhere, really) without running afoul of my husband's boundaries, I follow one simple rule: I never say anything that I wouldn't be proud for my husband to read or hear.

Now of course that's going to vary from couple to couple, but if you know where the lines are for your husband and relationship and then stay well within them, you should be fine.

Most of the members here will be quite happy if your messages are legible, respectful, specific (e.g. "I really enjoyed your post on X in Y thread. It made me think about Z," or, "I saw you posted about A in the B thread in the ___ forum. I'm having an issue with A right now. Do you have any advice for me?"), and actually invite a response or conversation. For example, if someone PMs me to say they like my avatar or posts, I'm probably going to respond with a "thank you" and leave it at that. However, detailed messages, questions and requests for advice will likely be met with meatier responses. Therefore, if you want to start a conversation, be polite and give the person something to respond to. Also, it never hurts to proofread, since many members are here because they enjoy quality writing and appreciate it when people take the time to make their writing here the best it can be.

The same pretty much goes for responses to PMs and such. If someone writes you a nice, respectful message, thank them and be polite in your response. If you wish to talk to them more, it's smart to look at their profile and post history to get an idea of who they are. Then maybe refer to one or more things you found interesting in that profile or posts, and ask a genuine question or three. You may want to be wary of people who send you generic messages or compliments, particularly if they don't provide any/much info in their profiles and posts (e.g. a member who joined quite awhile ago, yet has zero or very few posts and nothing in their profile) or their profile and post history indicate they're likely only interested in things you're not looking for (e.g. I'm usually very wary of messages from guys who pretty much only post sexual messages in AmPics and/or Personals and/or SRP).

 

[xXMorticiaXx]

Admittedly, I'm still confused as to whether you want advice on the above (and, if so, what exactly "successfully" and "without feeling awkward" mean to you; in other words, what is your desired outcome, and where are your boundaries?), or if you want advice on texting or writing your husband.

In terms of talking to people here (or anywhere, really) without running afoul of my husband's boundaries, I follow one simple rule: I never say anything that I wouldn't be proud for my husband to read or hear.

Now of course that's going to vary from couple to couple, but if you know where the lines are for your husband and relationship and then stay well within them, you should be fine.

Most of the members here will be quite happy if your messages are legible, respectful, specific (e.g. "I really enjoyed your post on X in Y thread. It made me think about Z," or, "I saw you posted about A in the B thread in the ___ forum. I'm having an issue with A right now. Do you have any advice for me?"), and actually invite a response or conversation. For example, if someone PMs me to say they like my avatar or posts, I'm probably going to respond with a "thank you" and leave it at that. However, detailed messages, questions and requests for advice will likely be met with meatier responses. Therefore, if you want to start a conversation, be polite and give the person something to respond to. Also, it never hurts to proofread, since many members are here because they enjoy quality writing and appreciate it when people take the time to make their writing here the best it can be.

The same pretty much goes for responses to PMs and such. If someone writes you a nice, respectful message, thank them and be polite in your response. If you wish to talk to them more, it's smart to look at their profile and post history to get an idea of who they are. Then maybe refer to one or more things you found interesting in that profile or posts, and ask a genuine question or three. You may want to be wary of people who send you generic messages or compliments, particularly if they don't provide any/much info in their profiles and posts (e.g. a member who joined quite awhile ago, yet has zero or very few posts and nothing in their profile) or their profile and post history indicate they're likely only interested in things you're not looking for (e.g. I'm usually very wary of messages from guys who pretty much only post sexual messages in AmPics and/or Personals and/or SRP).

HELPFUL ON ALL LEVELS! ! thanks mama <3