Okay, so guys are always like freaked about whether their cock is big enough, or whether they have six-pack abs, and girls are always worried about whether their tits are big enough, and none of that has anything to do with what really happens.
So, for you to understand this story idea, I have to describe myself. I'm like, petite, 5'1, and I'm slender, like 95lbs. My legs are a little too long, my ass is a little too tight, and I'm a little too blond. Other than that, I'm like a smart-ass, which turns some guys off, and I look like I'm [censored], which turns off the rest of them, at least the ones it doesn't turn ON. So, really, I don't have guys come up to me with some weary pickup line like, "Hey, baby! Let's you and me go to that MOtel!" or "You look just like my (sister, roommate's girlfriend, ex, etc.)
I was at Stromboli's, before they closed. I was in the corner booth, eating a piece of pizza and drinking a glass of wine. I ws 19, it wasn't legal for me to drink, but the guys at Stromboli's had Bad Eyesight, they couldn't tell "19" from "29," it was the shifting light from all the '60's lava lamp decor. So, this guy comes up to me, out of nowhere. He was like, kind of fat, I mean, it was sort of unwritten: He doesn't "look" at girls like me, and I don't "look" at guys like him. He was like, "Hey, you have Dr. (well-known professor) too!" and I'm like, "Uh huh." I looked up at him.
So then he's like, "You're Jamie, aren't you?"
I swallowed my gum. "Um, uh huh." (Hint to guys: Knowing a girl's name gives you POWER over her.)
"Well, " he continued, "I saw your profile on (The UNOFFICIAL and UNAPPROVED campus sex-site.edu). It said you were #2 on campus."
"Uh huh."
"So, do you have your handcuffs with you?"
"Uh huh"
That's three "uh huhs" in a row, Jamie. If a guy gets a girl to say, "Yes" three times, she has to fuck him. In college, it's a rule, I learned it in tri-delt pledge class. (Tri's have the highest pregnancy rate and the lowest IQ's on campus. I know, because I are one.)
"i mean, no, they're back at the apartment, but I can get them."
"That's okay, I have my own. Come on."
So, with a pickup line like THAT..."
So he has this Honda "thing," or element, whatever, and it's full of shit, and he's got his handcuffs in there.
"Turn around. Hands behind your back!" So, I don't know, feeling that cold steel around my slender wrists, it makes all my mouths water, I can't help it, and then he's on the phone, "Yah, you know Jamie? That girl on (The UNOFFICIAL and UNAPPROVED campus sex-site.edu)?
I mean, I can hear the other voice on his iPhone, "Dude! No fuckin' way!"
So then he BLINDFOLDS me, this soft black cloth, and we drive and drive, it's all in the city, I mean we are probably still close to campus when we stop. So he gets out, and I can hear the other guys, but my hands are cuffed behind my back, I'm strapped in the seat, I have to wait for them to get me out.
Then it's hands, helping me out, then feeling me, my hair, my breasts, my tummy, my ass, my legs, I'm like squirming and stuff, and getting totally turned on. So they sort of drag me inside, I mean, I can hear music and smell the dope, I mean they are gentlemen and scholars, they let me have some. The guy from Stromboli's kisses me. We make out a little, and then he pushes me down on my knees.
I've gotten pretty good at sucking cocks, I mean I could tell there were six different ones, and one of them twice. The double one wasn't the biggest, and I thought the biggest wasn't ever going to cum, and the size had noting to do with anything. I was just glad they all fit in my mouth. So then after everyone was "satisfied" and I had bad penis breath, we all went out and ate Mexican, tacos, burritos, chiles rellanos y mas cerveza.
So then I went home, and me and my boyfriend fucked like lemmings. He was like, "God, Jamie! You sure are hot! You taste like onions. What did you have for dinner?" and I was like, "You have no idea."
Love,
Jamie
PS: Who was no. 1 on the UNOFFICIAL and UNAPPROVED campus sex-site.edu?
It was Jenny Kim, she knew all the "Secret Taoist Methods" to suck a guy, and she taught them to me:
"Take dick, licky-lick, guy cum cum cum."
PPS: So, what was The UNOFFICIAL and UNAPPROVED campus sex-site.edu?
Oh, well it was something these guys in the engineering school cooked up. Engineers are super-nerds, even more nerdy than compsci types, and they are more likely to make gobs of money, if that turns you on. I think it was "smutbeginswithsmu.edu" It LOOKED like it was hosted on campus, but it really wasn't, the computers were in Hong Kong or somewhere else.
So, for you to understand this story idea, I have to describe myself. I'm like, petite, 5'1, and I'm slender, like 95lbs. My legs are a little too long, my ass is a little too tight, and I'm a little too blond. Other than that, I'm like a smart-ass, which turns some guys off, and I look like I'm [censored], which turns off the rest of them, at least the ones it doesn't turn ON. So, really, I don't have guys come up to me with some weary pickup line like, "Hey, baby! Let's you and me go to that MOtel!" or "You look just like my (sister, roommate's girlfriend, ex, etc.)
I was at Stromboli's, before they closed. I was in the corner booth, eating a piece of pizza and drinking a glass of wine. I ws 19, it wasn't legal for me to drink, but the guys at Stromboli's had Bad Eyesight, they couldn't tell "19" from "29," it was the shifting light from all the '60's lava lamp decor. So, this guy comes up to me, out of nowhere. He was like, kind of fat, I mean, it was sort of unwritten: He doesn't "look" at girls like me, and I don't "look" at guys like him. He was like, "Hey, you have Dr. (well-known professor) too!" and I'm like, "Uh huh." I looked up at him.
So then he's like, "You're Jamie, aren't you?"
I swallowed my gum. "Um, uh huh." (Hint to guys: Knowing a girl's name gives you POWER over her.)
"Well, " he continued, "I saw your profile on (The UNOFFICIAL and UNAPPROVED campus sex-site.edu). It said you were #2 on campus."
"Uh huh."
"So, do you have your handcuffs with you?"
"Uh huh"
That's three "uh huhs" in a row, Jamie. If a guy gets a girl to say, "Yes" three times, she has to fuck him. In college, it's a rule, I learned it in tri-delt pledge class. (Tri's have the highest pregnancy rate and the lowest IQ's on campus. I know, because I are one.)
"i mean, no, they're back at the apartment, but I can get them."
"That's okay, I have my own. Come on."
So, with a pickup line like THAT..."
So he has this Honda "thing," or element, whatever, and it's full of shit, and he's got his handcuffs in there.
"Turn around. Hands behind your back!" So, I don't know, feeling that cold steel around my slender wrists, it makes all my mouths water, I can't help it, and then he's on the phone, "Yah, you know Jamie? That girl on (The UNOFFICIAL and UNAPPROVED campus sex-site.edu)?
I mean, I can hear the other voice on his iPhone, "Dude! No fuckin' way!"
So then he BLINDFOLDS me, this soft black cloth, and we drive and drive, it's all in the city, I mean we are probably still close to campus when we stop. So he gets out, and I can hear the other guys, but my hands are cuffed behind my back, I'm strapped in the seat, I have to wait for them to get me out.
Then it's hands, helping me out, then feeling me, my hair, my breasts, my tummy, my ass, my legs, I'm like squirming and stuff, and getting totally turned on. So they sort of drag me inside, I mean, I can hear music and smell the dope, I mean they are gentlemen and scholars, they let me have some. The guy from Stromboli's kisses me. We make out a little, and then he pushes me down on my knees.
I've gotten pretty good at sucking cocks, I mean I could tell there were six different ones, and one of them twice. The double one wasn't the biggest, and I thought the biggest wasn't ever going to cum, and the size had noting to do with anything. I was just glad they all fit in my mouth. So then after everyone was "satisfied" and I had bad penis breath, we all went out and ate Mexican, tacos, burritos, chiles rellanos y mas cerveza.
So then I went home, and me and my boyfriend fucked like lemmings. He was like, "God, Jamie! You sure are hot! You taste like onions. What did you have for dinner?" and I was like, "You have no idea."
Love,
Jamie
PS: Who was no. 1 on the UNOFFICIAL and UNAPPROVED campus sex-site.edu?
It was Jenny Kim, she knew all the "Secret Taoist Methods" to suck a guy, and she taught them to me:
"Take dick, licky-lick, guy cum cum cum."
PPS: So, what was The UNOFFICIAL and UNAPPROVED campus sex-site.edu?
Oh, well it was something these guys in the engineering school cooked up. Engineers are super-nerds, even more nerdy than compsci types, and they are more likely to make gobs of money, if that turns you on. I think it was "smutbeginswithsmu.edu" It LOOKED like it was hosted on campus, but it really wasn't, the computers were in Hong Kong or somewhere else.
