Story Discussion: October 20, 2024 - "A Simple Act of Intercourse" by PrimalDual

[PrimalDual]

After having some good discussion on my first attempt, I will throw another story out there for consideration:
https://www.literotica.com/s/a-simple-act-of-intercourse
It is a good deal briefer, weighing in at about 1500 words.
As with the last time, I will hold off on any introductory remarks, and wait until folks have had a little time to comment before explaining.

 

[PrimalDual]

It's been a couple of days.

WIWAW (What I Wrote And Why): "A Simple Act of Intercourse"

This story started out as a masturbation fantasy, like most of my stories here do, and at first it had no plot to speak of. A woman comes back to bed and initiates sex with her man. Most of my stories here are heavy on the events leading up, or the consequences after. I took it as a challenge to write this one with her on top, fucking him. Short and direct. Hence the title. A simple act of intercourse.

I've written pieces now and then from the woman's point of view. I've had good collaborators who have given me their own points of view in other contexts, which color my writing when I try this style. As with 97% of the stories I've put here, I've done it without enlisting a Literotica editor, deciding to trust myself, but it's certainly a risk when a male presumes to write from the female POV. I hope I didn't commit any terrible boners.

Of course I did want there to be a payoff to reading the story. What should it be? I decided a baby would be an unconventional reason to be awake in the middle of the night, in the context of stories you usually see, and her waking up the man made sense if that was the reason - he would have slept through it. After that, it not being her husband appealed to me. So I was attracted to the idea of portraying the story two-ways-in-one. Read it one way, it's with her husband. Read the other way, with the knowledge of the final passages, it's an illicit tryst while the husband is away on business. Hot sex either way, or at least that's the goal.

Still, I took it as a goal to keep it short, and keep the focus on the intercourse. A very large percentage of the words are devoted to her own experience while fucking her man from on top. The experience evolved as I wrote it, into "sometimes the wanting is better than the having."

I wanted to foreshadow the eventual twist/reveal, but not in a way that gave it away before the end. The repeated references to the husband wanting oral (ONLY oral, I kept repeating, despite the very obvious fact she is fucking him at that moment) are meant to be seen in two different lights, if a reader is patient enough or curious enough to read it twice. ("Read my precious story TWICE! It's soooo GOOD!")

That's pretty much it. I hope the sex itself is compelling to read - I don't really have a lot of WIWAW style comments to offer about the bulk of the story, I simply wrote it to be hot to me. I didn't spell it out, but I imagined there being an age difference between Carlos and Cheri, while Donny is basically her age; probably ethnicity plays a role here too. The title that I picked out almost from the very beginning, as a reminder and challenge to myself, took on a new meaning, an ironic one, once the twist was devised. It wasn't such a simple act of intercourse after all.