The Bachelor/ette's Homemaker's Lessons

[le Dragon Noir]

Spaghetti sauce: one bag doritos, one squeeze bottle of ketchup stolen from a fast food restaurant. Crumble the doritos over the noodles, then pour on the ketchup. A little garlic salt probably wouldn't hurt either.



When you move up in the world and can afford actual sauce by the jar; just twirl the noodles onto fork straight out of pot and then dunk forkful in cold jar, preferably while standing in front of open refrigerator that you took jar out of.

which has a convenient shelf handy to set your open can of beer on.

 

[graceanne]

Way cool! That's one I'd never heard. Thank you! Will it work on the aluminum bottomed pots, too?

And no, not just cooking advice - anything that will make maintaining the household easier and/or more efficient.

No, but if you have nasty looking aluminum bottom pots then spray them with oven cleaner, and then use an sos pad on them. They'll look like new. Frankly, SOS pads also work on copper, but that takes elbow grease, snowy's idea sounds like it would be easier.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

Spaghetti sauce: one bag doritos, one squeeze bottle of ketchup stolen from a fast food restaurant. Crumble the doritos over the noodles, then pour on the ketchup. A little garlic salt probably wouldn't hurt either.

When you move up in the world and can afford actual sauce by the jar; just twirl the noodles onto fork straight out of pot and then dunk forkful in cold jar, preferably while standing in front of open refrigerator that you took jar out of.

which has a convenient shelf handy to set your open can of beer on.

Yanno, you guys are exactly the type who created the gross bachelor/ette stereotype.

 

[graceanne]

Here's an easy to make dinner that's healthy, and will impress the heck out of anyone you have over for dinner.

1 whole chicken
4 potatoes
8 carrots
1 onion

Rinse off your chicken, rub salt and pepper into skin. (Then wash your hands - ew.)

Scrub potatoes and cut them into fourths.

Scrub carrots and cut them in thirds.

Put all of the above in a roaster pan together, cover, and put in oven at 350-400 deg. Cooks 45 minutes to 1 hour depending on the size of the chicken.

Total prep time: 15 minutes

 

[graceanne]

Ok, here's another great recipe. I call it Jazzed Up Macaroni and Cheese

1 box of Mac and Cheese
1 lb of fried ground beef, drained
1 small bag of frozen broccoli

In one pot put the macaroni to boil. In a pan fry up the hamburger till brown and crumbly.

Drain of all fat.

Add broccoli and a few tablespoons of water. Cover.

Drain macoroni, and add butter, milk and cheese sauce. Stir together.

Check to see if the broccoli is cooked. If it is add it to the mac and cheese.

Eat. Take my word for it, it's awesome this way, and I don't like mac and cheese. (normally)

 

[RJMasters]

Ok

Rice-o-roni
1/2 pnd hambuger

Brown hamburger while preparing the rice-o-roni...after adding the 2 cups of water and stirring in the flavoring mix...

Drain browned hamburger and add to rice-o-roni.

Bring to boil...cover and set to simmer 17 mins very tasty.


Love the Mac and cheese reciepe, I add just a sprinkle of garlic salt and bring out the flavor.

 

[RJMasters]

tsk tsk...wasting clothespins on chip bags.

I am so busted!!

 

[RJMasters]

LOL, me thinks their secret is out!! Whatever happend to this Dominant get fit programme? Chips? Sheeesh!!

Catalina

I admit it...I posion my children with Chips so I can keep a constant supply of clothes pins around...I feel so dirty.

 

[Kajira Callista]

which has a convenient shelf handy to set your open can of beer on.

...so you can scratch various body parts and not have to put down the fork.

 

[sincerely_helene]

Spaghetti sauce: one bag doritos, one squeeze bottle of ketchup stolen from a fast food restaurant. Crumble the doritos over the noodles, then pour on the ketchup. A little garlic salt probably wouldn't hurt either.



When you move up in the world and can afford actual sauce by the jar; just twirl the noodles onto fork straight out of pot and then dunk forkful in cold jar, preferably while standing in front of open refrigerator that you took jar out of.

You forgot to include the part about doing it all naked 'cept for the black socks with the hole in the toe.

This really creeped me out. I seen the title of this thread, and was going to post a query about how to make meatloaf. Lo and behold...

I can't believe a man knows this crap, and I still don't. Thank you, though.

 

[sincerely_helene]

Ok, here's another great recipe. I call it Jazzed Up Macaroni and Cheese

1 box of Mac and Cheese
1 lb of fried ground beef, drained
1 small bag of frozen broccoli

In one pot put the macaroni to boil. In a pan fry up the hamburger till brown and crumbly.

Drain of all fat.

Add broccoli and a few tablespoons of water. Cover.

Drain macoroni, and add butter, milk and cheese sauce. Stir together.

Check to see if the broccoli is cooked. If it is add it to the mac and cheese.

Eat. Take my word for it, it's awesome this way, and I don't like mac and cheese. (normally)

To add a pinch of variety, nix the broccolli, add onion, peppers, tomato, extra milk, and Taco Seasoning into the mix.

 

[sincerely_helene]

To get rid of the bitter taste sometimes found near the end of cucumbers, skin it, cut the ends, and rub vigorously against the shaft.

 

[snowy ciara]

another one. Suck up to your mother when you're home and she'll send you home with stuff to stuff in your freezer so you won't starve to death. (cheezy I know, but it keeps me from poisoning myself.)

Another thing I saw on the news... You know those high protien dairy drinks like slimfast and such? You can get the same amount of calcium and protein and such if you have a lowfat milkshake (made with real lowfat ice cream or frozen yogurt and real lowfat milk) and a multi vitamin and it tastes better too! And in an interesting side note, cold stone creamery has lowfat pumpkin pie ice cream..

 

[rosco rathbone]

You forgot to include the part about doing it all naked 'cept for the black socks with the hole in the toe.

stereotypes are based in reality you know

 

[Sir_Winston54]

You forgot to include the part about doing it all naked 'cept for the black socks with the hole in the toe.

I do have black socks, but when they get holes - anywhere - they go in the trash.

This really creeped me out. I seen the title of this thread, and was going to post a query about how to make meatloaf. Lo and behold...

Meatloaf: 1.5 lbs. ground beef, 1 c. milk, 1 c. cracker crumbs (or half and half cracker crumbs and quick-cooking rolled oats), 1/3 c. ketchup or bbq sauce (depends on whether you like it mild or tangy), 1/2 c. finely chopped onion, 1/2 c. finely chopped celery, 1 beaten egg. (If you don't like celery, replace it w/ another 1/2 c. chopped onion, or just leave it out.) Mix well - the Mixmaster really does work! - and put in preheated oven at 350 degrees for 50 minutes. Take out of oven, drizzle 1/3 cup of ketchup or bbq sauce on top, put back in oven for 15 minutes. Makes six decent-sized servings.

I can't believe a man knows this crap, and I still don't. Thank you, though.

You're welcome. I was cooking 5-course meals by myself, at age 11. I've been a single homemaker for eleven of my 54 years, am a better cook than two of my three ex-wives, and a better housekeeper/homemaker than any of the three. If I want something in my house when I live alone, I can walk directly to it. I could seldom do that, except where my tools were concerned, when I was married.

 

[graceanne]

Ok, thought of this one a few minutes ago. This works for kids and animals.

If your kid/animal pees on the floor pour amonia directly on the spot. If you don't have amonia use windex, it has amonia in it. Most off brands DO NOT have amonia in them, so you really do need to use name brand. This will keep it from smelling.

 

[AnelizeDarkEyes]

Don't bother buying different types of cleaners for each task (windex; basin, tub & tile; lysol). I buy a gallon of SimpleGreen about once a year, literally. It's great stuff. Can be mixed in various dilutions (the directions are on the container) and used for cleaning windows, floors, the tub, countertops, it cuts grease--I've cleaned stains from my carpets with it, used it to de-bug the front of my car--and probably more stuff I can't remember right now. It's amazing stuff.

Beats having a cabinet full of cans and bottles.

~anelize

 

[snowy ciara]

OOoh! I just thought of another one, that I'm suprised that no one around here has mentioned. Peroxide can get blood out of most natural fibers and some synthetic ones. Just do a patch test in a hidden spot first to be sure that the fabric is colour safe and that the synthetic materials won't be damaged by the peroxide.

 

[Xelebes]

I am so busted!!

Uh... uhh...uh... say it's a game. yeah... uh... an MS-DOS game.... Chips. That's right uh... yeah.

 

[sincerely_helene]

Thank you, Sir Winston!

Something I can actually cook well (mostly because I don't have to measure anything in order for it to taste good):

Greek Ribs w/Lemon Pepper Rice

Boil rack(s) of pork ribs for approx. 1 hour in roasting pan
After 1 hour, slice lemon, squeeze and add at least 4 wedges
Leave boiling for approx. another 2 hours, or until meat begins to fall off bones

(At this point, you are free to go watch TV, send off naughty emails, or masturbate on the couch for a while.)

Walk back to kitchen (Don't forget to wash your hands. You did just masturbate, you filthy pervert.)
Drain and rinse (The ribs, of course.)
Add just enough greek seasoning to flavor, but don't overindulge
Place very shallow amount of water back into pan
Bake at 350 for approx. 20 minutes
Serve with extra lemon wedges and greek seasoning, if desired

Lemon Pepper Rice:

Cook rice as directed
Sautee in oil: mushrooms, onions, peppers, and any other desired veggies.
Add rice and lemon pepper to veggies (once again, don't overindulge with the seasoning until you sample,) along with a bit of butter if desired.

I like this recipie, because it is one of those ones you can't possibly mess up. Great to impress company with.

 

[sincerely_helene]

Tips of the day: Febreeze masks every bad smell but foot odor.

Throw rugs are far easier and often cheaper than most carpet stain removers.

 

[catalina_francisco]

OOoh! I just thought of another one, that I'm suprised that no one around here has mentioned. Peroxide can get blood out of most natural fibers and some synthetic ones. Just do a patch test in a hidden spot first to be sure that the fabric is colour safe and that the synthetic materials won't be damaged by the peroxide.

Also cold water is best for removing blood.....soak it as soon as possible and don't try to wash it out with hot water. Milk removes ink from fabrics.

use old socks as cleaning gloves around the house....great for dusting and geting into tight corners.

clean a microwave with a solution of warm water and liberal dose of vinegar in a dish, place in microwave and turn on high for a few minutes and grease will be dissolved and the surface easily wiped clean of all residue.

Catalina

 

[navarre]

Don't bother buying different types of cleaners for each task (windex; basin, tub & tile; lysol). I buy a gallon of SimpleGreen about once a year, literally. It's great stuff. Can be mixed in various dilutions (the directions are on the container) and used for cleaning windows, floors, the tub, countertops, it cuts grease--I've cleaned stains from my carpets with it, used it to de-bug the front of my car--and probably more stuff I can't remember right now. It's amazing stuff.

Beats having a cabinet full of cans and bottles.

~anelize

What she said!!!!!!

I've been using the stuff for years.
It's also USDA approved for use around food, so it's relatively safe.

 

[rosco rathbone]

Don't bother buying different types of cleaners for each task (windex; basin, tub & tile; lysol). I buy a gallon of SimpleGreen about once a year, literally. It's great stuff. Can be mixed in various dilutions (the directions are on the container) and used for cleaning windows, floors, the tub, countertops, it cuts grease--I've cleaned stains from my carpets with it, used it to de-bug the front of my car--and probably more stuff I can't remember right now. It's amazing stuff.

Beats having a cabinet full of cans and bottles.

~anelize

This is true, but I approach from different angle, use Windex for all purposes.

 

[rosco rathbone]

Though I am mocked as dorito sauce boy, no one can intercourse with me when it comes to my top secret recipes that I am called upon to make from time to time at gathering of family and friend.

steak aw poivre: there is nothing hard about making perfect steak at all. Buy good meat, use fresh ground black poivre and kosher salt.

thick club steak. preheat cast iron skillet on top heat 5 min. thickly crust both sides of steak with freshly ground black poivre and kosher salt. Rub it in. No olive oil, no marinating.

Put one half stick of butter in hot skillet, give it a couple seconds to melt and throw the stake in. Sear hi heat 30 sec per side. Remove skillet. Pour off burned butter. Put other half stick in, turn heat to low med and cook about 2 mins more a side. Slice piece off end to test. SHould be dark on outside and still pink within.

If anyone can cook a better steak I'll eat my hat.