The Lonely Drop after publishing

[motifica]

Hello, I'm new here. Well, not exactly new to this site but new to the forums and lit "authorship."

After years and years and many more years of reading stories, and writing my own, I finally posted a couple things on here. And it was very exciting! I check every so often throughout the day to see how many views there have been, what the ratings are, etc. But I finally hit the drop again. The "now what?"

And I find myself lonely. I write for myself, I always have, but that urge to share it, to witness others experience my words invigorates my soul. I miss those days in school when classmates would come to me at recess and ask me if I had written another chapter yet and I would watch each expression cross their faces as they read through my spiral bound notebook.

I guess growing up, you don't realize how everyone wants to be a writer. So many of us, clambering for attention. And at the end of it, watching numbers shift and change, I come to this loneliness once again. Alone with my words. Alone in my thoughts. Just alone.

Other than just venting about my silly emotional issues, I'm curious what others do when they feel this way, assuming you do that is. Or perhaps I'm just here to feel less alone and always feel super weird interjecting myself into other threads.

 

[NotWise]

Other than just venting about my silly emotional issues, I'm curious what others do when they feel this way, assuming you do that is. Or perhaps I'm just here to feel less alone and always feel super weird interjecting myself into other threads.

I bury myself in the next story. It only becomes a problem when no "next story" comes to mind.

 

[motifica]

I bury myself in the next story. It only becomes a problem when no "next story" comes to min

I suppose that could be part of my issue. Writing feels like an obsession I have to be careful to keep in check due to how carried away I get with it (especially the erotica stuff). But that can get to the point that I don't write at all for long stretches of time in an attempt to be more "productive."

 

[pink_silk_glove]

I guess growing up, you don't realize how everyone wants to be a writer. So many of us, clambering for attention. And at the end of it, watching numbers shift and change, I come to this loneliness once again. Alone with my words. Alone in my thoughts. Just alone.

But you are a writer. You actually wrote something. Everyone wants to be a writer? Not really. Everyone wants to see their name in print, to collect the accolades. Very few are actually willing to put in the effort. You are. You did. Does it make you better? No. Does it make you a writer? Yes. And they're not. ; )

Other than just venting about my silly emotional issues, I'm curious what others do when they feel this way, assuming you do that is. Or perhaps I'm just here to feel less alone and always feel super weird interjecting myself into other threads.

So, you've experienced the drop off. As a new writer, once your story falls from the recent 25 page, it gets swallowed by the porn swamp perhaps never to be seen again. That's just normal. However, once you get a body of work out there and more people notice you, your old stories can come back to life. It might take months, years. It depends how prolific you are and what categories you publish in. If you post to Incest or LW, sometimes the fame can be instant. If you post to say Fetish or Toys or vanilla EC, it may never happen.

I'm virtually invisible here. I have a couple of fans. I can count them on my fingers. When I first started here I figured it might take a while before I built up a small following. Now I know the truth - that I will never ever be popular here by any meaningful measure and I will never ever score even half-decently let alone well. But I still love to write and that's easily more important than the popularity.

So the question is: How much do I want to write and how much do I want to be popular? If you want more attention, post more often and in high traffic categories like Incest and LW. If that's not an option, then ask yourself if it's worth it to continue. Quitting is an option, and everyone has their own answer. For me, I love to write, period. It's definitely worth it, despite the lack of eyeballs and the fact that my haters are far louder than my fans. But that's just me.

 

[AwkwardlySet]

There is nothing strange in what you are feeling. We all pour so much of our enthusiasm into our stories. And compared to our excitement, the reception is always underwhelming. Well, at least until you get used to this place and its dynamics, which isn't necessarily a good thing.

So yes, it comes down to counting views and getting excited at scarce comments and feedback. It's how all of this works, for everybody.
To keep on writing and publishing here, you need to find a way to enjoy just putting your stories out there. Write primarily for your own satisfaction, and enjoy the occasional supportive comment and constructive criticism. But think of them as an added bonus only. If you start thinking of them as the main source of your motivation, it will lead to you feeling unappreciated.

 

[motifica]

So the question is: How much do I want to write and how much do I want to be popular? If you want more attention, post more often and in high traffic categories like Incest and LW. If that's not an option, then ask yourself if it's worth it to continue. Quitting is an option, and everyone has their own answer. For me, I love to write, period. It's definitely worth it, despite the lack of eyeballs and the fact that my haters are far louder than my fans. But that's just me.

I suppose I'm always trying to come to terms with the fact that I will not be a "successful" or famous writer. I start to wonder what the point is, putting so much time and effort into something that won't lead anywhere. And yet, no matter how hard I try to stay away, I always come back to writing. I've posted a few things before on other sites with the same feelings, and typically end up leaving due to some sort of disappointment. I'm honestly not sure what I'm expecting. Too much, probably.

Write primarily for your own satisfaction, and enjoy the occasional supportive comment and constructive criticism. But think of them as an added bonus only. If you start thinking of them as the main source of your motivation, it will lead to you feeling unappreciated.

I appreciate your guys' kind words. And glad to hear I'm not alone. I suppose I should continue to strive to write (and post) for myself without expecting anything in return.

 

[AllenWoody]

Join the rest of us in building up a work-in-progress (WIP) folder. Don't wait for the drop off - you should already be working on your next story(ies) when you click on the publish button.

 

[StillStunned]

Join the rest of us in building up a work-in-progress (WIP) folder.

Mine is 12 inches!

 

[Voyeurkenneth]

Forget body count. WiP count is the new rage. I'm (only) at 4.

 

[Bamagan]

Mine is 12 inches!

That'd be more impressive if everyone on Lit didn't automatically triple the actual number.

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

Hello, I'm new here. Well, not exactly new to this site but new to the forums and lit "authorship."

After years and years and many more years of reading stories, and writing my own, I finally posted a couple things on here. And it was very exciting! I check every so often throughout the day to see how many views there have been, what the ratings are, etc. But I finally hit the drop again. The "now what?"

And I find myself lonely. I write for myself, I always have, but that urge to share it, to witness others experience my words invigorates my soul. I miss those days in school when classmates would come to me at recess and ask me if I had written another chapter yet and I would watch each expression cross their faces as they read through my spiral bound notebook.

I guess growing up, you don't realize how everyone wants to be a writer. So many of us, clambering for attention. And at the end of it, watching numbers shift and change, I come to this loneliness once again. Alone with my words. Alone in my thoughts. Just alone.

Other than just venting about my silly emotional issues, I'm curious what others do when they feel this way, assuming you do that is. Or perhaps I'm just here to feel less alone and always feel super weird interjecting myself into other threads.

And then this happens:


I wrote Phun With Pharmaceuticals over two years ago. My first two stories, written six years ago, both got comments a few months ago.

Write for you and enjoy the small victories when they come.

 

[ronde]

Hello, I'm new here. Well, not exactly new to this site but new to the forums and lit "authorship."

After years and years and many more years of reading stories, and writing my own, I finally posted a couple things on here. And it was very exciting! I check every so often throughout the day to see how many views there have been, what the ratings are, etc. But I finally hit the drop again. The "now what?"

And I find myself lonely. I write for myself, I always have, but that urge to share it, to witness others experience my words invigorates my soul. I miss those days in school when classmates would come to me at recess and ask me if I had written another chapter yet and I would watch each expression cross their faces as they read through my spiral bound notebook.

I guess growing up, you don't realize how everyone wants to be a writer. So many of us, clambering for attention. And at the end of it, watching numbers shift and change, I come to this loneliness once again. Alone with my words. Alone in my thoughts. Just alone.

Other than just venting about my silly emotional issues, I'm curious what others do when they feel this way, assuming you do that is. Or perhaps I'm just here to feel less alone and always feel super weird interjecting myself into other threads.

First of all, writing, like any other art form, is a pretty lonely endeavor. With the exception of a very few professional authors, nobody begs a writer to write. It's just you and a keyboard opening your mind and recording what you happen to be thinking at the given time. There's a certain satisfaction that comes from that. That's why writers write, painters paint, and sculptors sculpt in the first place.

Recognition of those efforts is what separates the "I'll try it once or twice crowd" from the "I liked this a lot so I'm going to keep going few." The key here is to keep writing and not to worry about staying in the "Story Top List". What you'll find is that the more you write, the more readers you'll attract and the more votes, comments, etc. you'll get.

Yes, you'll hit a dry spell on occasion, but if that happens just sit down and write what comes to mind. Don't try to write a story. Just let your mind ramble and write those ramblings down. There's a story in your mind somewhere, you just have to let it out. The only way to do that is to keep your fingers punching the keys.

 

[RoperTrace]

Hello, I'm new here. Well, not exactly new to this site but new to the forums and lit "authorship."

After years and years and many more years of reading stories, and writing my own, I finally posted a couple things on here. And it was very exciting! I check every so often throughout the day to see how many views there have been, what the ratings are, etc. But I finally hit the drop again. The "now what?"

And I find myself lonely. I write for myself, I always have, but that urge to share it, to witness others experience my words invigorates my soul. I miss those days in school when classmates would come to me at recess and ask me if I had written another chapter yet and I would watch each expression cross their faces as they read through my spiral bound notebook.

I guess growing up, you don't realize how everyone wants to be a writer. So many of us, clambering for attention. And at the end of it, watching numbers shift and change, I come to this loneliness once again. Alone with my words. Alone in my thoughts. Just alone.

Other than just venting about my silly emotional issues, I'm curious what others do when they feel this way, assuming you do that is. Or perhaps I'm just here to feel less alone and always feel super weird interjecting myself into other threads.

Okay, you're really new as an author on Lit, and you have Excellent ratings so far. My stories are much older than yours and ratings approx. 1/2 to 3/4 point lower on average than yours, but I get decent numbers of reads due to Taglines, and Keywords.

My son who designed websites for a few people in previous jobs gave me a quick course on taglines and keywords, they really do work. Some of my lower rated stories have 100's of thousands of reads/views. That's not due to unusually high ratings, it's mostly appealing to prurient interests of the average Lit reader. You also write Sci Fi/Fant. and while they're a loyal bunch, they also aren't a huge group.
On several of my highest-read stories, my taglines, are something like, Busty Wife, big boobs, gangbang, mature slut, etc. Only you know what tags might work the best for Sci-Fi. Also attach a link to your stories on all your posts. Good luck, I'll sample one or two of your stories. RT

 

[oneagainst]

You've done the hard part, which is hitting publish for the first time. If you're at a loss what to write next, then *read* - there are stories on here that will make you think, and let the plot bunnies free. Even if you imagine your characters at the next table to the ones you just read about, saying "I'll have what she's having".

My personal view on getting noticed is to write often and write niche and write *everywhere* - so your followers get to tune in next week and go somewhere new. Also, remember there are readers who will bookmark your story forever just because the protagonist wore washing-up gloves. You don't have to write in I/T about mum having to sit on her son’s lap during a car ride. Be interesting in your subject matter choices.

 

[pink_silk_glove]

You don't have to write in I/T about mum having to sit on her son’s lap during a car ride. Be interesting in your subject matter choices.

No, you certainly don't, but mom in lap will get you the most followers.

 

[YmaOHyd]

No, you certainly don't, but mom in lap will get you the most followers.

Silk stockings seem to help too.

 

[motifica]

Thanks all. I've gotten a lot out of this thread. I've been super happy with the reception I've received from my stuff so far. I didn't add my stories to my initial post because I didn't really want to make this thread a cry for readers (but if you are looking to read them, the two I currently have up are Beware Cursed Items and A Pryktian's Pride) but rather venting about how solitary posting things online can be.

I'm excited to write more and to see what people think of my silly stories. Perhaps I just wish I felt the numbers and symbols that pop up on my stories felt more personal. While I'm super thankful for every single reader, like, and comment, it doesn't satisfy that human need for connection and understanding. It's probably just unrealistic to look for connection and community by posting erotica but I'm often an unrealistic person.

Talking to and hearing from other writers has been really nice though. I appreciate everyone who's humored me here. If nothing else, I've learned that I should not fear posting the incestuous stuff I have lol

 

[Zrosey]

I suppose I'm always trying to come to terms with the fact that I will not be a "successful" or famous writer. I start to wonder what the point is, putting so much time and effort into something that won't lead anywhere.

I'm not an author or even much of a writer. I do consider myself an artist tho. I draw, paint and do block prints, occasionally I sculpt. For me the satisfaction comes from creating. I know I'll never be 'known' or successful by others standards, and that doesn't matter cause I have to create!
Maybe writing is the same, but you need to answer that.

 

[Nynah]

And I find myself lonely. I write for myself, I always have, but that urge to share it, to witness others experience my words invigorates my soul. I miss those days in school when classmates would come to me at recess and ask me if I had written another chapter yet and I would watch each expression cross their faces as they read through my spiral bound notebook.

It sounds like you're looking for fellowship with readers and other writers, and that can be difficult since 90% of the time people aren't going to comment on your stories or leave you feedback of any kind. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't keep writing. If you're consistent enough, you'll build up a body of work and people will want to read more and will tell you so either through comments or personal feedback.

This forum is largely for other writers here on Lit, which can be a good outlet for discussion and honing your craft. It's not the best for specific discussion of your stories, but if it's interaction about erotica in general you're after, then it's not a bad place to start. This thread is a good example of that.

Lastly, I can suggest something that I've personally experienced since publishing here. I've gotten a fair bit of feedback through the feedback function and sometimes the commenter will leave their email address along with their message. I've always tried to reply back to each one who does and sometimes it develops into a correspondence about what I've written. So if you've received any feedback this way, it may be productive to email them back, even if it's just a "thank you" because it might turn into the directed attention you're looking for.

 

[RoperTrace]

It sounds like you're looking for fellowship with readers and other writers, and that can be difficult since 90% of the time people aren't going to comment on your stories or leave you feedback of any kind. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't keep writing. If you're consistent enough, you'll build up a body of work and people will want to read more and will tell you so either through comments or personal feedback.

This forum is largely for other writers here on Lit, which can be a good outlet for discussion and honing your craft. It's not the best for specific discussion of your stories, but if it's interaction about erotica in general you're after, then it's not a bad place to start. This thread is a good example of that.

Lastly, I can suggest something that I've personally experienced since publishing here. I've gotten a fair bit of feedback through the feedback function and sometimes the commenter will leave their email address along with their message. I've always tried to reply back to each one who does and sometimes it develops into a correspondence about what I've written. So if you've received any feedback this way, it may be productive to email them back, even if it's just a "thank you" because it might turn into the directed attention you're looking for.

Yes, always answer emailed comments. They're the best and sometimes the weirdest, but so what. Someone took the time to contact you about a story you've written. I generally only respond to comments on the story-page, if the commenter is asking a question. tbh, I've had very few negative comments, and generally I've left them up.

 

[burgwad]

I really like this post. Your issues aren't silly.

Hello, I'm new here. Well, not exactly new to this site but new to the forums and lit "authorship."

After years and years and many more years of reading stories, and writing my own, I finally posted a couple things on here. And it was very exciting! I check every so often throughout the day to see how many views there have been, what the ratings are, etc. But I finally hit the drop again. The "now what?"

And I find myself lonely. I write for myself, I always have, but that urge to share it, to witness others experience my words invigorates my soul. I miss those days in school when classmates would come to me at recess and ask me if I had written another chapter yet and I would watch each expression cross their faces as they read through my spiral bound notebook.

I guess growing up, you don't realize how everyone wants to be a writer. So many of us, clambering for attention. And at the end of it, watching numbers shift and change, I come to this loneliness once again. Alone with my words. Alone in my thoughts. Just alone.

Other than just venting about my silly emotional issues, I'm curious what others do when they feel this way, assuming you do that is. Or perhaps I'm just here to feel less alone and always feel super weird interjecting myself into other threads.

It's maybe sort of informative that you experience this inevitable post-publish comedown as a return to "loneliness." Does a core part of you tend to feel isolated, alienated, or apart, even at baseline? If so, you should know that's more or less synonymous with depression. Maybe it's not so severe that you want professional help, but it's telling enough that you've probably already noticed you fit a depressive mold, no? There's nothing inherently wrong with having a depressive personality, but a little self-awareness can be important to keeping your head above water - and it sounds like you have plenty. Just remember to maintain a healthy sense of skepticism about any of those pesky recurring thoughts that you might be, e.g., unloved, unseen, forgotten, so long as you aren't actively publishing. Even to the extent that those descriptors may be literally or technically true, note that the weight they carry is dependent on the stories you tell yourself about them.

I have my own bothersome story. I experience my post-publish comedown as a shameful, inexorable return to "laziness." That's the story I tell myself: my writing muse visits me in extremely productive bursts, then leaves again without notice. Without her, I am reduced to my baseline "uselessness."

My own adaptation to this cycle has been to pick up multiple hobbies (in addition to writing, e.g., illustrating, researching, cooking, etc.), as this gives me access to multiple muses - an artsy muse, an investigative muse, a hungry muse, etc. - so that when one isn't around, I don't have to wait too long for another to show up. Granted, none of these auxiliary hobbies is as gratifying and therapeutic as writing, but they do at least help to stave off the shameful sense of laziness, self-doubt, and unproductiveness. And that ultimately is my own solution to my competence-rooted problem, but is also the best I can offer in terms of actionable advice. Your own story is relatedness-rooted, and so may require some creative adjustments.

 

[ICantLeafYou]

And then this happens:
View attachment 2508329

I wrote Phun With Pharmaceuticals over two years ago. My first two stories, written six years ago, both got comments a few months ago.

Write for you and enjoy the small victories when they come.

I've been publishing on Lit for less than a year, but I'm not new to writing smut. I started with fanfics ~18 years ago and all of those stories are still up on my ancient, now-unused fanfic.net account. Even 10-15 years later, I still get e-mails about people fav'ing or commenting on those old-ass stories, loving what I wrote.

 

[Actingup]

A weird aspect to this is not being able to easily share with people in 'real life'. I guess there's always the option to wear a t-shirt saying 'hey, check out my smut'...

I worry that writing more in response to the drop, or chasing new reactions, is too addictive. I want to make sure that I'm spending time in the garden, walking the dog, reading books and other people's stories, and generally making sure I've got a broad source of dopamine hits.

BTW, for some reason, your post reminded me of this song by Kiwi Neil Finn, which is a musing on the divebombing experience. The ultimate drop...

 

[Nynah]

I have my own bothersome story. I experience my post-publish comedown as a shameful, inexorable return to "laziness." That's the story I tell myself: my writing muse visits me in extremely productive bursts, then leaves again without notice. Without her, I am reduced to my baseline "uselessness."

I feel this so deeply in my soul. Once I've published something, it feels like a weight simultaneously been lifted along with an immense sense of "oh now people are going to just forget I exist". There's no in between.

I am envious of your muse for being extremely productive when she visits. Mine is extremely neurospicy with unmedicated ADHD so she will often spiral about other things and read Wikipedia instead of writing, then leave me with maybe a handful of sentences with which I have to attempt to cobble together a coherent story. It's maddening.

 

[TheLobster]

I guess there's always the option to wear a t-shirt saying 'hey, check out my smut'...

World ain't fair. If it was, then it would be just as commonplace for people to link from their real-name X or Substack profile to their Lit one as it is for them to link from Instagram to Onlyfans.