The two types of men

[pleasteasme]

OK,

With my limited experience, I have concluded there are 2 definitive types of men:

1. The type that will try to f**ck anything/anyone willing. You know, the type that waste no time going in for a kiss, a touch or grope and anything else you will permit.

and

2. The 'nice' guy. WOW!! Yes, there are nice men out there: the type that open the door for you, pay for the movies, dinner or any other event you are going to. I have found these type of men are soooooooo much *painfully* slower at any type of initiation of sexual behavior. . . . . .why is this?

I am so frustrated right now, I am at my wits end!!

Thoughts?

 

[Classical_Wizard]

Guy two is frighten.

 

[pleasteasme]

That is one of oh a zilllion conclusions that my troup of friends have come up with.


He is great, I really am into him. We live about 2 1/2 hours apart
We talk on the phone at least 3+ times a week (for hours at a time). We have amazingly common interests and backgrounds. Whenver he is this way or I am in his area we meet, have dinner, go to a movie. He is sincerely a gentleman *which I soo appreciate* and insists on paying for everything!

It is nice and I really enjoy his company, but why in the world would he continue paying and not ummmmm, 'collecting' so to speak?

Another friend of mine accused me of waiting for this guy to turn into the @$$ that guy #1 is (in post above).

 

[wildwesty]

maybe not scared...

I am guy number 2 some of the time and sometimes guy number 1 when the mood and urge permit. I think the main thing is that the nice guy in interested in many more things than the guy who simply wants to screw. For those of us in the nice guy category, out of respect for our women, we move slower. However it shouldn't be too slow. we have to know when to make our moves too. Although and for my girlfirend this is true, when you do finally get the nice guy, he takes his time in pleasing every part of you making sex very fulfilling. But if you have a guy moving to slowly, give him a swift kick in the junk, that should get his attention.

 

[ethicalslut]

OK,

With my limited experience, I have concluded there are 2 definitive types of men:

1. The type that will try to f**ck anything/anyone willing. You know, the type that waste no time going in for a kiss, a touch or grope and anything else you will permit.

and

2. The 'nice' guy. WOW!! Yes, there are nice men out there: the type that open the door for you, pay for the movies, dinner or any other event you are going to. I have found these type of men are soooooooo much *painfully* slower at any type of initiation of sexual behavior. . . . . .why is this?

I am so frustrated right now, I am at my wits end!!

Thoughts?

My thoughts... the guys who'll fuck anything in sight are good for a roll in the hay (roll in zee hay, roll in zee hay...), and the sex is all right, sometimes great. The "nice" guys... ah, the nice guys. They know they're the nice guys. They hear that "nice guys finish last" and they internalize it and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. They don't want to initiate sex too soon or too agressively because they don't want to be a "Type 1." They also feel that women don't WANT the nice guy.

My advice? Sometimes ya gotta make the first move with Type 2s. The sex may be great... he could knock your socks off with his stunning bedroom skills, but he's likely afraid that you'll think he's a male slut, and that's not the image he wants to create for himself.

 

[Classical_Wizard]

he might think that it's too early. Try talking to him or give him some hints depending on who he might, a slege hammer to head might be needed, or something along those lines.

 

[pleasteasme]

You are making sense. . . .I just get sooooo confused!

I guess because I have never had a type 2 personality before and I just don't know how to react.

Here is the low-down. I am VERY independent (it has taken me a lot to let him get the door for me). We have known each other as acquitances for about 14 years, much closer the last year. We can talk wicked dirty. . . .like, wow! I have never talked that way before in my life *thoughts, yes. . . .spoken, no!* I feel very comfortable around him, not like I have to pretend to be someone I am not.

Is it possible that he is not interested me as a relationship and only as a friendship?

*of course all of the demons in my head tell me I am not pretty enough, small enough, smart enough; and that he would never be attracted to me*

Of course the 'friendship' sounds nice and all, but wow, all of the $ he has spent, I do feel kinda bad that he doesn't let me pay!

BTW, we both are college grads (same college, go figure), I am out working and he works and works and works (like 3 different jobs) and is going to school, working on another degree to add to the 2 he already has!

Opinions and insight from the outside are very much appreciated!!

I just don't know how to handle myself in this situation!!

 

[Classical_Wizard]

I just get sooooo confused! I am VERY independent. We have known each other as acquitances for about 14 years, much closer the last year. We can talk wicked dirty. Is it possible that he is not interested me as a relationship and only as a friendship?

Sitting with him and trying to decide what the two of you want from this realtionship and where it might end up may help you get rid of that confusion. Since you are independent he might be treading slowly knowing that you are, and he might not want to be stepping on any toes thinking that you're not ready, but you say that you have dirty talks so i doubt that he only wants the relationship as friends. Also because of the 14 years of knowing each other he might be even more careful than if the two of you just met, not wanting to ruin a good friendship but not wanting to ruin something good. Talk to him over dinner or something.

 

[pleasteasme]

Thanks so much for your advice. . . .

Oh so much easier said than done; I am a chicken!

Eventually, it will come to this. . .eventually I will be BRAVE!!!

Thanks again!

 

[Classical_Wizard]

Welcome i think we all are better at giving advice instead of taking it. A phone call or a letter might help you get the words out that you want to say.

 

[Nightbob]

OK,

With my limited experience, I have concluded there are 2 definitive types of men:

1. The type that will try to f**ck anything/anyone willing. You know, the type that waste no time going in for a kiss, a touch or grope and anything else you will permit.

and

2. The 'nice' guy. WOW!! Yes, there are nice men out there: the type that open the door for you, pay for the movies, dinner or any other event you are going to. I have found these type of men are soooooooo much *painfully* slower at any type of initiation of sexual behavior. . . . . .why is this?

I am so frustrated right now, I am at my wits end!!

I'm type 2. I can't speak for the rest of us, but I was always shy and rather insecure. I was afraid that I might do something wrong that might offend the lady. I was raised to be a gentleman and to respect women and treat them like a lady. I have been married for over 30 years and I still think and act the same way. If I was available, I would probably be a slow starter again, but faster than before. I would take more ques from the lady. Meeting women here on lit I have found out more about women and what they want. Also I through PMs and private chats and exchanges of fantasies, I have become a lot more sexually free. I think that through some conversation, without being pushy, can make things go smoother at a pace more to your liking. Even though I am one of the worlds horniest men, I still sould not expect a woman to just jump into bed with me. However, some encouragement could go a long way.


Thoughts?

 

[car nut]

Well i like to think im guy #2 ill go outta my way to try and make a woman happy. Even open doors and do all that kinda stuff sometimes too. But i have no problem trying to initiate anything sexually, none whatsoever lol. Im a whore what can i say.

 

[ny11011]

Only two types? oh bugger... Thats a problem, makes me a sort of half breed, (besides the good lady earns more than me..)

 

[GeorgeWBush]

OK,

With my limited experience, I have concluded there are 2 definitive types of men:

1. The type that will try to f**ck anything/anyone willing. You know, the type that waste no time going in for a kiss, a touch or grope and anything else you will permit.

and

2. The 'nice' guy. WOW!! Yes, there are nice men out there: the type that open the door for you, pay for the movies, dinner or any other event you are going to. I have found these type of men are soooooooo much *painfully* slower at any type of initiation of sexual behavior. . . . . .why is this?

I am so frustrated right now, I am at my wits end!!

Thoughts?

Hi please how are you have not seen you in a while i guess your job kept you busy.

I'm one of those #2 hehe.

Glad to see you.

 

[Lust Engine]

Personally I'm not exactly comfortable with the thought that we guys can be labelled SO easily. I'd like to think we're much more complex than that- heaven knows I fall into both categories at different times. I'd prefer to shed those labels of good guy/ bad guy.

I'd rather not label women in such broad sweeping categories either. I think there are people that definitely fall into those categories and then there are plenty of folks who straddle the line.

If you label us men, would you like to be labelled as one kind of gal??

 

[wicked woman]

Originally posted by Lust Engine
Personally I'm not exactly comfortable with the thought that we guys can be labelled SO easily. I'd like to think we're much more complex than that- heaven knows I fall into both categories at different times. I'd prefer to shed those labels of good guy/ bad guy.

I'd rather not label women in such broad sweeping categories either. I think there are people that definitely fall into those categories and then there are plenty of folks who straddle the line.

If you label us men, would you like to be labelled as one kind of gal??

Have to agree with you Lust...I absolutely love when a man has the capacity to be mulit-faceted...and I sure don't want to pick one type for me either.

 

[Ms_Lilith]

My thoughts are that your experience must indeed be limited, and that generalizing is rarely well accepted here.

There are as many types of men as there are types of fruits, and the same goes for women. While some groups of men may share certain traits, there are always different defining factors.

And why categorize men anyway? I mean, really, that's limiting yourself, isn't it? Only seeing men in such a narrow way?

 

[Willing and Unsure]

Personally I'm not exactly comfortable with the thought that we guys can be labelled SO easily. I'd like to think we're much more complex than that- heaven knows I fall into both categories at different times. I'd prefer to shed those labels of good guy/ bad guy.

I'll agree here. I think there are plenty of guys out there that have qualities of both types (and many other ones) that are mentioned here. Sure, I've dated some that have fallen more into each specific category, but still. It turns into a preference thing as to what a person wants and is interested in.



As far as getting type #2 to open up sexually, good luck.

 

[CreativeSubmissions]

Sometimes it feels like the guy doesn't exist with qualities from both...it would be like a dream,lol

 

[Willing and Unsure]

Sometimes it feels like the guy doesn't exist with qualities from both...it would be like a dream,lol

I know exactly what you mean on that one. I started seeing one of them not too long ago. It's absolutely wonderful. I havent been as into sex and foreplay in such a long time it's like I cant be turned off now (and he's half afraid since he turned me on, go figure ).

 

[CreativeSubmissions]

It does sound like a dream,lol

 

[ozbloke1980]

OK,

With my limited experience, I have concluded there are 2 definitive types of men:

1. The type that will try to f**ck anything/anyone willing. You know, the type that waste no time going in for a kiss, a touch or grope and anything else you will permit.

and

2. The 'nice' guy. WOW!! Yes, there are nice men out there: the type that open the door for you, pay for the movies, dinner or any other event you are going to. I have found these type of men are soooooooo much *painfully* slower at any type of initiation of sexual behavior. . . . . .why is this?

I am so frustrated right now, I am at my wits end!!

Thoughts?

It's prtobably cuz they want to subtly point out that their not the kind of guy who just want to root ur brains out. Thing is guys like me are very few and far between.

 

[Clare Quilty]

Type #1 fucks anything that moves because he can.

Type #2 doesn't because he can't.


In either case women have taught them their respective roles.

 

[The JoZ]

Or you get guys like me, who are generally the Type 2 kind of guy, but as horny as the Type 1...the difference is that I have too much self-respect / control to be a 1, but I enjoy the action too much to be totally 2...go read my only thread here for more info on that if you need it...

In any case, I had been the 2 for the longest time, totally...but once I had the assurance of whoever I was with that me feeling her up was not only acceptable, but when done right drove her crazy (and I've had no complaints yet, but I digress )...that was all I needed to stop being so insecure.

I can't speak for all Type 2's, but I know that alot of it had to do with some sort of fear...fear of hurting her, fear of scaring her, fear of freaking her out, etc. etc. A little encouragement goes a long way

 

[pleasteasme]

Re: Re: The two types of men

Hi GW!!!!!!

I know, it has been tooooo long since I got to play at Lit. Two words: Summer Vacation !!! And, I finally got my own place. Now it is much, much easier to play and not get um 'caught' if you know what I mean

I am great! I get to spend the next week at the beach (teachers convention, should be fun)!

How are you doing? Keeping yourself busy and out of trouble ?!

Nice to see some familiar faces here. . .so many new people!!!!!

OK, take care

Hi please how are you have not seen you in a while i guess your job kept you busy.

I'm one of those #2 hehe.

Glad to see you.