What do u look for? looks or personality?

[DLL]

Originally posted by wicked woman
Surely DLL you're not suggesting any of us are prostitutes....accepting money for sexual favours?

NOoooooooooooooooooooooo i was adding does money make a differance???Are you attrached not neccessarily to his/her looks but the money...I mean Bill Gates is no Brad Pitt

 

[Kissophile]

This thread is now about two weeks old and I've yet to see one certain piece of evidence put up for consideration.

I've now read on Lit several tales of people whose first meeting with someone met on the internet was spoiled by unmet expectations. In most cases that have been reported here, the disappointment came from a discrepancy between what they were told the other person looked like and the reality. In one case someone not only sent photos of another person but actually sent a younger family member along to represent her for the first meeting.

My observation is that the quality of one's appearance seems to be so important in our socieity that many of us will lie about our looks in order to attract someone over the internet.

I think it would be very interesting to poll members of Lit to ask how many have met someone online and then found that in person the other party had misrepresented their appearance in some way. How many discovered that the woman who claimed to weigh 135 pounds actually weighed 180 or the guy who claimed to be 6 feet tall and "buff" was actually 5' 10" and had a spare tire sized for a semi-trailer?

Just a thought, and I'd be interested in hearing what others think of this observation.

 

[Zergplex]

Zergplex Says

I have a question to all of you that say that personality is what you look for.

Have you gone out with someone that you found completely physically unattractive?

I personally wouldn't ask someone out that I was not physically attracted to. For me if the physical attraction isn't there in the beginning, I won't go out with them. This doesn't mean that they have to be a 10; they just can't be a 1.

What keeps me with the person is their intelligence and personality.

Yes, yes I have ^_^

-Zergplex

 

[Zergplex]

Zergplex Says

This thread is now about two weeks old and I've yet to see one certain piece of evidence put up for consideration.

I've now read on Lit several tales of people whose first meeting with someone met on the internet was spoiled by unmet expectations. In most cases that have been reported here, the disappointment came from a discrepancy between what they were told the other person looked like and the reality. In one case someone not only sent photos of another person but actually sent a younger family member along to represent her for the first meeting.

My observation is that the quality of one's appearance seems to be so important in our socieity that many of us will lie about our looks in order to attract someone over the internet.

I think it would be very interesting to poll members of Lit to ask how many have met someone online and then found that in person the other party had misrepresented their appearance in some way. How many discovered that the woman who claimed to weigh 135 pounds actually weighed 180 or the guy who claimed to be 6 feet tall and "buff" was actually 5' 10" and had a spare tire sized for a semi-trailer?

Just a thought, and I'd be interested in hearing what others think of this observation.

Heh, the problem is the other way for me. I don't give myself enough credit when I describe myself online, so usually the person who meets me is looking for some hideious monstrosity and find... me ^_^

-Zergplex

 

[DLL]

Originally posted by Kissophile
This thread is now about two weeks old and I've yet to see one certain piece of evidence put up for consideration.

I've now read on Lit several tales of people whose first meeting with someone met on the internet was spoiled by unmet expectations. In most cases that have been reported here, the disappointment came from a discrepancy between what they were told the other person looked like and the reality. In one case someone not only sent photos of another person but actually sent a younger family member along to represent her for the first meeting.

My observation is that the quality of one's appearance seems to be so important in our socieity that many of us will lie about our looks in order to attract someone over the internet.

I think it would be very interesting to poll members of Lit to ask how many have met someone online and then found that in person the other party had misrepresented their appearance in some way. How many discovered that the woman who claimed to weigh 135 pounds actually weighed 180 or the guy who claimed to be 6 feet tall and "buff" was actually 5' 10" and had a spare tire sized for a semi-trailer?

Just a thought, and I'd be interested in hearing what others think of this observation.

i think most people that decide to meet some one from the net probably has cammed and are already in a relationship of some sort..i don't think many people would meet off a picture that was sent..or merely a description..just my thoughts....

 

[ReadyOne]

The only reason my SO and I ever got together is because I wasn't aware of how much taller she was than I until after we'd become net friends.

But if a girl comes into eyesight before or when words are first exchanged, she will have to meet some minimal physical qualifications before she will ever have a chance to make the "potential gf" list.

It's just the way I (as most guys) are programmed: initial attraction is through the eyeball.

 

[BlueSugar]

so people, what makes you want to go out with someone?
u see a good lookin guy or girl and think i'd like to go out with you
or
u end up talkin to someone and really get on with them and think i'd like to go out with you

basically, which is more important..looks or personality

It depends on the situation.
If my SO and I are together and we want a third/etc to play with... personality and looks must be equal for the most part. They have to have the right personality to click with us, and looks just help

Alone and I'm on the prowl when I was single, Looks would guide me in a direction, but if personality was lacking it would never work.

So looks give me a starting point - but I go for personality.

 

[captain snakebite]

What gets my attention? A smile where the whole person joins in.
What keeps it? Interest. Opinion. Quirks. The 'who' and not the 'what' she is.

Beauty is skin deep but ugly comes all the way from the soul.

 

[wicked woman]

Originally posted by DLL
i think most people that decide to meet some one from the net probably has cammed and are already in a relationship of some sort..i don't think many people would meet off a picture that was sent..or merely a description..just my thoughts....

Not sure if I understand you correctly but I've met a number of people I've met off the net...and I don't cam so have never cammed with any of them. More than once I've had no idea what a person looked like until we were going to meet and we had to exchange pics so we'd know who we were meeting.

Not quite sure how your comments tie in above...but just reflecting that it seems like my experiences have been different than yours.

 

[wicked woman]

Originally posted by captain snakebite


Beauty is skin deep but ugly comes all the way from the soul.

oh my I do like that...going in my list of quotes. thanks

 

[DLL]

Originally posted by wicked woman
Not sure if I understand you correctly but I've met a number of people I've met off the net...and I don't cam so have never cammed with any of them. More than once I've had no idea what a person looked like until we were going to meet and we had to exchange pics so we'd know who we were meeting.

Not quite sure how your comments tie in above...but just reflecting that it seems like my experiences have been different than yours.

I meant that i think most people wouldnt meet someone with just an exchange of hellos and such..I think it would have to be a deeper connection.I wouldnt want to meet someone that i had no idea what to expect...thats all I meant...

 

[wicked woman]

Originally posted by DLL
I meant that i think most people wouldnt meet someone with just an exchange of hellos and such..I think it would have to be a deeper connection.I wouldnt want to meet someone that i had no idea what to expect...thats all I meant...

Gotcha then...

 

[dcraz]

Hey what a cool thread. Similar to one I started a while back about what attracted you to another on Lit.

Ok so I will offer my two cents from a man's perpsective. I think men tend to focus on looks first. Maybe too much in fact, but not always. While women are not as obssessed with looks as men are (thank goodness for us guys as evidenced by all the hot women with goofy guys - my wife being one of them).

Those who know me know alot about my college days. Good times had by all and lots of easy sex with hot women (must have been the town because I am sure it was not me). In any case, I got bored with it all before long and started dating older women. Eventually married an older woman who was a single mom. I thought then and still believe now that she is beautiful. But that is not what attracted me to her. I was running around with better looking women but they were all so shallow. My eventual wife was mature, level headed, responsible and a wonderful conversationalist. Which in the end is what made me fall in love with her.


And now a quick response to meeting folks from Lit. I have met several people I have met online. I have met them because they interested me and I enjoy meeting new people. Maybe it is because I have no real hangups and keep my personal life and online life separated. But it is easy for me and I do not judge people I meet by their looks. So I am never disappointed.

I think what DLL said is true. You are not likely to meet a total stranger from the online world in person. There is likely to be some sort of history there. Since Lit is more than just AVs and pics, I think we tend to learn a lot about each other here (i.e. points for personality) which is probably what leads WW to meet with folks in reall ife. If you have no connection with them, why meet. On the other hand, we tend to be visual by nature which is why we swap pics or cam together. We want to see the other person.

To answer Kissophile, Maybe it is because I have swapped pics or cammed with others that we tend to be honest. So if and when we do meet, there is not bait and switch so to speak.

My long winded 2 cents. More like a nickle's worth I suppose.

 

[DLL]

Originally posted by dcraz
Hey what a cool thread. Similar to one I started a while back about what attracted you to another on Lit.

Ok so I will offer my two cents from a man's perpsective. I think men tend to focus on looks first. Maybe too much in fact, but not always. While women are not as obssessed with looks as men are (thank goodness for us guys as evidenced by all the hot women with goofy guys - my wife being one of them).

Those who know me know alot about my college days. Good times had by all and lots of easy sex with hot women (must have been the town because I am sure it was not me). In any case, I got bored with it all before long and started dating older women. Eventually married an older woman who was a single mom. I thought then and still believe now that she is beautiful. But that is not what attracted me to her. I was running around with better looking women but they were all so shallow. My eventual wife was mature, level headed, responsible and a wonderful conversationalist. Which in the end is what made me fall in love with her.


And now a quick response to meeting folks from Lit. I have met several people I have met online. I have met them because they interested me and I enjoy meeting new people. Maybe it is because I have no real hangups and keep my personal life and online life separated. But it is easy for me and I do not judge people I meet by their looks. So I am never disappointed.

I think what DLL said is true. You are not likely to meet a total stranger from the online world in person. There is likely to be some sort of history there. Since Lit is more than just AVs and pics, I think we tend to learn a lot about each other here (i.e. points for personality) which is probably what leads WW to meet with folks in reall ife. If you have no connection with them, why meet. On the other hand, we tend to be visual by nature which is why we swap pics or cam together. We want to see the other person.

To answer Kissophile, Maybe it is because I have swapped pics or cammed with others that we tend to be honest. So if and when we do meet, there is not bait and switch so to speak.

My long winded 2 cents. More like a nickle's worth I suppose.

that was more like ten cents worth
want your nickelback????
's DC

 

[Kissophile]

<snip>

I think what DLL said is true. You are not likely to meet a total stranger from the online world in person. There is likely to be some sort of history there. Since Lit is more than just AVs and pics, I think we tend to learn a lot about each other here (i.e. points for personality) which is probably what leads WW to meet with folks in reall ife. If you have no connection with them, why meet. On the other hand, we tend to be visual by nature which is why we swap pics or cam together. We want to see the other person.

To answer Kissophile, Maybe it is because I have swapped pics or cammed with others that we tend to be honest. So if and when we do meet, there is not bait and switch so to speak.

My long winded 2 cents. More like a nickle's worth I suppose.

My point was simply that many people take appearance so seriously that they lie in their descriptions of themselves and are dishonest in the pictures they send out to those they meet online. If this has never happened to you, then you are one of the fortunate ones.

I drew my conclusions from the many stories I have read here by people who were greatly disappointed in their R/L meetings with those they first met online. When a woman claims to still weigh what she weighed when she was a beauty queen in college or a man claims to be fit and athletic - and neither claim is true, it's dishonest. Even when people swap pictures that seem to support their claims, apparently many people use false or ancient pictures. My point is that people do this because they believe that appearance is of the utmost importance to others.

 

[dcraz]

My point was simply that many people take appearance so seriously that they lie in their descriptions of themselves and are dishonest in the pictures they send out to those they meet online. If this has never happened to you, then you are one of the fortunate ones.

I drew my conclusions from the many stories I have read here by people who were greatly disappointed in their R/L meetings with those they first met online. When a woman claims to still weigh what she weighed when she was a beauty queen in college or a man claims to be fit and athletic - and neither claim is true, it's dishonest. Even when people swap pictures that seem to support their claims, apparently many people use false or ancient pictures. My point is that people do this because they believe that appearance is of the utmost importance to others.

Agreed. I think people certainly tend to prop themselves up in the eyes of others to make that initial first impression that is oh so important. Just look at the incredibly small percentage of AVs that are actually pics of the themselves. Some would suggest this is an issue of privacy. And while that may be true in part, I think most are happy to hide the truth and portray themselves as sexy and desireable to others. We all want to be desired. That is why so many people fake who they are or what they really look like. Once you move past the initial impression and actually get to the point of meeting in RL, it is hard to be humble and go back and say "oh that never was what I look like". That is where is becomes a real life lie and hurtful to those with unknowing, unrealistic expectations.

 

[Zergplex]

Zergplex Says

Agreed. I think people certainly tend to prop themselves up in the eyes of others to make that initial first impression that is oh so important. Just look at the incredibly small percentage of AVs that are actually pics of the themselves. Some would suggest this is an issue of privacy. And while that may be true in part, I think most are happy to hide the truth and portray themselves as sexy and desireable to others. We all want to be desired. That is why so many people fake who they are or what they really look like. Once you move past the initial impression and actually get to the point of meeting in RL, it is hard to be humble and go back and say "oh that never was what I look like". That is where is becomes a real life lie and hurtful to those with unknowing, unrealistic expectations.

Heh, I'm a small percentage! ^_^ yay for me!

-Zergplex

 

[dcraz]

Re: Zergplex Says

Heh, I'm a small percentage! ^_^ yay for me!

-Zergplex

Me too!

Maybe another good thread idea might be for those whose AV is them!

I must be tired. That is some horrible writing!!!

 

[wicked woman]

Re: Re: Zergplex Says

Originally posted by dcraz
Me too!

Maybe another good thread idea might be for those whose AV is them!

I must be tired. That is some horrible writing!!!

Well golly gee wiz

<-------------------------- this really is me but don't forget the camera adds 10 lb.!

 

[Blushing_Diva]

Personality, Sense of humor, and a smile that makes me melt!

 

[DLL]

Originally posted by Kissophile
My point was simply that many people take appearance so seriously that they lie in their descriptions of themselves and are dishonest in the pictures they send out to those they meet online. If this has never happened to you, then you are one of the fortunate ones.

I drew my conclusions from the many stories I have read here by people who were greatly disappointed in their R/L meetings with those they first met online. When a woman claims to still weigh what she weighed when she was a beauty queen in college or a man claims to be fit and athletic - and neither claim is true, it's dishonest. Even when people swap pictures that seem to support their claims, apparently many people use false or ancient pictures. My point is that people do this because they believe that appearance is of the utmost importance to others.

 

[DLL]

Originally posted by Kissophile
My point was simply that many people take appearance so seriously that they lie in their descriptions of themselves and are dishonest in the pictures they send out to those they meet online. If this has never happened to you, then you are one of the fortunate ones.

I drew my conclusions from the many stories I have read here by people who were greatly disappointed in their R/L meetings with those they first met online. When a woman claims to still weigh what she weighed when she was a beauty queen in college or a man claims to be fit and athletic - and neither claim is true, it's dishonest. Even when people swap pictures that seem to support their claims, apparently many people use false or ancient pictures. My point is that people do this because they believe that appearance is of the utmost importance to others.

Who knows??? I think its best to cam to cam that way you see and hear the person and get to know them on a whole new level.I have friends that don't like knowing who they are chatting with ...to them it is unimportant..thats the thrill for some too.. depends what type of relationship you are after on the net I suppose.
I personally like to know what I am dealing with.... and I can't get a complete sense of a person through typed words only...I like more contact..thats just me...
and to me looks are important there has to be an "eye" connection

 

[sxylegs]

Will be interested to hear from those who admit looks.

Well much as I can appreciate eye candy as much as the next person...I've said it before, and I'll say it again...it's all about the mind. If my mind isn't attracted to yours...'we' aren't going any where.

I will also admit that looks are the biggest attraction, but if there is nothing else then Im out of there.....

Looks reel me in and personality keeps me there....

 

[captain snakebite]

oh my I do like that...going in my list of quotes. thanks

Aww - shucks!

 

[assister49]

When you only look at looks, the flaws jump out at you right away. When you look much deeper to personality, motives, principles, and how that person treats themselves and others, only then you can you see their real beauty (or lack therof). When you experience their inner beauty - they naturally become more beautiful outwardly. Recall that beauty is always in the eye of the beholder.