Why the stigma for men?

[LindsayGurl]

So here I am, I love women, and love playing the part of a woman to please men. But I can't help but be frustrated that as a "man" in my day to day life I will be viewed differently if I wear a skirt, or stockings, or makeup, or most importantly, heels.

It isn't changing who I am. But I love the constricting nature of women's clothes. All of their clothes are constricting and I love it!

Heels hold your feet in tightly, and shape them how I feel they should rest naturally. Stockings and panty hoes hug your legs tightly, panties and thongs hug to your body snuggly, bras wrap your torso tightly, make up gives a feeling of your face being layered and looking good.

As a man... And yes I have my sissy side. I really want to wear all of this, and more day to day without it automatically pointing to me being "gay" or "less of a man". Like yes I sometimes, often times want to feel like a woman and please men. But in the between times I want to wear sexy tight clothing. Can we as a society not change this view point.

Maybe we need men to wear COMFORTABLY fitting heels once to see the appeal, or a pair of stockings etc. Everything women get to wear is so much more fun than what men get.

And to top it all off why do we care what gets us off? Sex is for reproduction. But we do it for fun and want to avoid reproducing. So who cares if you cum from looking at a cantelop and I cum from licking watermelons. Literally the whole thing is to make a kid. And a large percentage of us have sex for anything but that. So why worry what anyone gets off too. Society is stupid! Lol. Minus the pedo peeps of course. We need to have real consent to our pleasures. But past that why does anyone care?

I bet the people who talk crap about people wanting dick in their ass sit there and jerk off to monkeys eating bananas, or diesel trucks blowing black smoke all over. But they can't accept people want to feel good all and every day and cum to whatever they want, how they want, when they want.

 

[Bimwm79]

If anything is a social construct it's mens and women's clothing.

I have no desire to wear what would be considered women's clothing, but I also have no desire to wear a suit to work every day. So I get your point.

Women get a pass on that, Women can wear "mens" clothes and nobody bats an eye.

It's an odd paradox.

I'm sure it has something to do with masculinity, but to be fair, for thousands of years men wore what would be considered dresses and skirts. Makeup and wigs were mens fashion as recently as like 200 years ago.

All that said, a diesel truck rolling coal is cool as shit. So I'll keep jerking off to it while fantasizing about a guy like you in lingerie.

 

[satindani]

I've long felt that women have all the choices in clothing. Wearing "mens" is stylish for them. Wearing "womens" for men is strange.

 

[2wayroad]

It’s deeply rooted in societies of different cultures around the world, and has been for ages. Is it fair? No, bit in order to function in and among the public, it’s better in most cases to fit in. If you can dress as you please passably, then you can slip around unnoticed.

Parents are especially skittish. No parent wants to take or send their child to the restroom and have a very awkward situation happen. Many cis women will also be offended, as they resent men who appropriate their gender.

That having been said, seek out safe spaces in your area. Your home is your castle (where I prefer to be naked), but go crazy dressing there. Great the plumber, delivery guy, etc. dressed as you wish. Your home is your domain.

You could wear your preferred undergarments. Or cheat a little and wear androgynous clothes. Not many people would catch on. You can get away with wearing women's western boots with high heals, very few would notice unless they are white, or pink. Pair them with some women’s jeans. There are so many mens jeans styled the same, few would catch on, unless they have big bell bottoms. If you choose well, many women's tops can be worn unnoticed to. You would be fulfilling your need, while drawing little attention. Men can also get by with certain makeup and not get much negative attention. Go to a major department store cosmetic counter. Look for edgy style employees. Ask who helps men achieve a look. They will help you.

If you want to dress matronly, as Tinker Bell, a street walker, or a French Maid, then prepare for attention you wont like.

If you are 100% confident dressing as you prefer, then own it with absolute confidence. But, understand there will be discomfort and resentment expressed towards you. This is a country that allows you that freedom. Try that in 1/2 of the world and you’ll be stoned or jailed.

And, if you haven’t read my posts, then hold any angry response. You’re right, the standards aren’t level, even among the cis gender presenting population. News casters and business dress as an example. Men must wear suits with a tie in the middle of the road style of the day Women can wear all manner of “dressy” clothes, suits, dresses, slacks with varying neck cuts, dresses with various hem lengths, sleeves, no sleeves. Let a man show up without a tie, or take his jacket off and have a short sleeve shirt on, and he will likely be sent home to correct it.

 

[AchtungNight]

I refuse to wear ties and not just because I can’t tie one properly. Someone asks me why and I will gladly chew them out about how idiotic it is to voluntarily put a noose around your neck. I may not get in fights that often, but that doesn’t mean I want to set myself up for an easy defeat in one. I’m not suffering serious heat days (we have quite a few of them every year where I live) wearing long sleeves for the sake of someone else’s idea of propriety either. I know a woman who feels similarly about high heels. She refuses to compromise her comfort for someone else’s standards. Never would have gotten a job as a stripper if they didn’t allow shoes with better support than one might expect. Heh.

Not everyone appreciates such standards, of course.

 

[2wayroad]

I refuse to wear ties and not just because I can’t tie one properly. Someone asks me why and I will gladly chew them out about how idiotic it is to voluntarily put a noose around your neck. I may not get in fights that often, but that doesn’t mean I want to set myself up for an easy defeat in one. I’m not suffering serious heat days (we have quite a few of them every year where I live) wearing long sleeves for the sake of someone else’s idea of propriety either. I know a woman who feels similarly about high heels. She refuses to compromise her comfort for someone else’s standards. Never would have gotten a job as a stripper if they didn’t allow shoes with better support than one might expect. Heh.

Not everyone appreciates such standards, of course.

I absolutely fucking hate them. They need to go away. They belong to the era of frock coats and spats. Yet, they persist. They should only exist, optionally, in formal wear.

 

[Phatfeet]

So here I am, I love women, and love playing the part of a woman to please men. But I can't help but be frustrated that as a "man" in my day to day life I will be viewed differently if I wear a skirt, or stockings, or makeup, or most importantly, heels.

It isn't changing who I am. But I love the constricting nature of women's clothes. All of their clothes are constricting and I love it!

Heels hold your feet in tightly, and shape them how I feel they should rest naturally. Stockings and panty hoes hug your legs tightly, panties and thongs hug to your body snuggly, bras wrap your torso tightly, make up gives a feeling of your face being layered and looking good.

As a man... And yes I have my sissy side. I really want to wear all of this, and more day to day without it automatically pointing to me being "gay" or "less of a man". Like yes I sometimes, often times want to feel like a woman and please men. But in the between times I want to wear sexy tight clothing. Can we as a society not change this view point.

Maybe we need men to wear COMFORTABLY fitting heels once to see the appeal, or a pair of stockings etc. Everything women get to wear is so much more fun than what men get.

And to top it all off why do we care what gets us off? Sex is for reproduction. But we do it for fun and want to avoid reproducing. So who cares if you cum from looking at a cantelop and I cum from licking watermelons. Literally the whole thing is to make a kid. And a large percentage of us have sex for anything but that. So why worry what anyone gets off too. Society is stupid! Lol. Minus the pedo peeps of course. We need to have real consent to our pleasures. But past that why does anyone care?

I bet the people who talk crap about people wanting dick in their ass sit there and jerk off to monkeys eating bananas, or diesel trucks blowing black smoke all over. But they can't accept people want to feel good all and every day and cum to whatever they want, how they want, when they want.

To me, this is all about bias, but not in the way you are thinking.

Often when a man puts on pantyhose, a dress and high heels, they love how they look and feel in those clothes. And its understandable as to why. They like the different look, how the clothes transform them, and it can be a powerful turn on. Then they go out in public and they feel gawked at and maybe even verbally ridiculed. What is happening here though is that others are NOT looking at them the same way they are.

And you see that on this very site. Some will admit they cross-dress but are not “passable, but what they are really saying is that they understand others will not look at them the same way they do. Sure, from their perspective they have sexy legs in stockings and high heels, but they know taken in totality others are not going to look at them in distain. But the other half of cross-dressers on here open flaunt their looks in public. Some are fine being different and others wish they would be more accepted.

The problem I see is some people form the opinion that you do, that OTHERS should have the same opinion about how you look as you do. I just think that is unfair. I say that because you are not recognizing that when you dress like that, it’s a turn-on and from that you are biased. You think you look good and others should feel the same about you. But you are not recognizing your own bias.

But this is not limited to men who cross-dress.

My wife and I always dress nicely when we go out, and because of that she often gets snide looks and comments from other women. Perhaps it is because their husband is looking at my wife instead, or the woman feels guilty because she is wearing jeans and a frumpy sweatshirt. Newsflash… people are not going to always agree that what my wife is wearing is complimentary or even appropriate. But we are not going to stop dressing nicely because of how others feel. We look different, we accept it, and we like how we feel dressed up nicely.

If you want to cross-dress in public… go for it. But what you should not so expect is for others to form the same opinion about how you look dressed as you do. I don’t expect everyone to feel my wife is dressed appropriately so why do you feel everyone has to have the same opinion of you cross-dressed?

By all means embrace being different, but remember, being dressed that way turns you on so you are very biased about your appearance.

 

[Phatfeet]

I refuse to wear ties and not just because I can’t tie one properly. Someone asks me why and I will gladly chew them out about how idiotic it is to voluntarily put a noose around your neck....

I get what you are saying, but also think that is a very limited view of life, and probably just an excuse to not wear a tie if you were to be honest with yourself.

I say that because a lot of the stuff we wear is that way, and nothing more so than jewelry. I mean EVERY kind of jewelry is a form of bondage, but it only makes sense, that was how jewelry started.

Most likely, in caveman days, as the caveman went out to hunt Mastodon’s, the hunt might last for days, so to be sure the cavewoman did not wonder off they chained her to the cave wall. But true love is when there is freedom and yet the cavewoman stays because she loves her favorite caveman. So on a hunt, the caveman sees a shiny gold colored rock in the bottom of a stream and finds its soft, easily workable and goes back and gives the gold bracelet to his cavewoman who feels extra special for not being chained, provided for, and given a beautiful symbolism of her old bondage she is now no longer in..

But look at today what jewelry is and represents. Bracelets are a form of handcuff. Necklaces are a form of collar. Ankle Bracelets are a form of leg irons. Waist chains are a form of wall bondage. Earrings are not really bondage things but are identifiers, as are rings as well. Yes, jewelry is a genteel form of bondage items. But woe to the man who does not buy that kind of stuff for his wife or girlfriend. As he should, they are beautiful and represent a woman's true freedom from how things were for them years ago. I mean why do you like jewelry so much?

And in the same way, that is how ties are. But if you still feel ties are a noose and dangerous in a fight, then just go out and buy a clip on tie: crisis averted!

 

[AchtungNight]

Clip on ties work, but still require tight collars. No thanks.

I don’t wear jewelry either. Don’t own any and it’d be too easy to lose.

 

[AlexBailey]

I had an attraction to women’s styles before I became aware of societal expectations about gender roles. I liked what my sister got to wear and I imprinted on that before I realized it might be a problem.

Stigma came as an undermining side effect. I was wrong for this world, other people’s expectations told me so. I was told many times that I would never be ‘a real man’. Okay, so why is that a problem that some people feel they need to be angry and sometimes violent about?

 

[Escierto]

I had an attraction to women’s styles before I became aware of societal expectations about gender roles. I liked what my sister got to wear and I imprinted on that before I realized it might be a problem.

Exactly right. My girlfriend said she wore the same clothing her sisters wore instead of her brothers because she was a girl. Her parents went along with it and here we are 40 years later. Of course being Filipina, maybe they were a more tolerant society.

 

[Wag_that_tail86]

I had an attraction to women’s styles before I became aware of societal expectations about gender roles. I liked what my sister got to wear and I imprinted on that before I realized it might be a problem.

Stigma came as an undermining side effect. I was wrong for this world, other people’s expectations told me so. I was told many times that I would never be ‘a real man’. Okay, so why is that a problem that some people feel they need to be angry and sometimes violent about?

It's sad that you were told that because being a 'real man' has way more to do with character and being a kind person than how you chose, or choose, to dress.

 

[Bluebanzai]

@LindsayGurl : I can't answer your question. I'm straight, I don't crossdress, and I'm not attracted to people who do. But whenever I see someone like you, I admire the courage that it takes for you to be who you are.

Be proud, hold your head high, and fuck the rest of them. True individuals make the world a more colourful place, and life would be greyer without you.

 

[P0peye]

Women's clothes are intended to emphasize and display the erotic, sensuous and voluptuous female shape and curves. Worn on a body lacking those features they just look ridiculous. Like Gene Hackman in drag at the closing scenes of the movie "Birdcage"!!
There is nothing like a Dame!

 

[TallOne]

I refuse to wear ties and not just because I can’t tie one properly. Someone asks me why and I will gladly chew them out about how idiotic it is to voluntarily put a noose around your neck. I may not get in fights that often, but that doesn’t mean I want to set myself up for an easy defeat in one. I’m not suffering serious heat days (we have quite a few of them every year where I live) wearing long sleeves for the sake of someone else’s idea of propriety either. I know a woman who feels similarly about high heels. She refuses to compromise her comfort for someone else’s standards. Never would have gotten a job as a stripper if they didn’t allow shoes with better support than one might expect. Heh.

Not everyone appreciates such standards, of course.

I've always been sensitive to things touching my neck triggering a gag reflex type response. As a kid I would chew on and stretch out collars on my t-shirts. But it got much worse since my parathyroid surgery. Now I need a v-neck to be comfortable. Some women's shirts also generally have looser fitting collars that I'll gravitate to, even in something mundane that passes as a men's like a band t-shirt.

A dress shirt buttoned all the way up and a tie? No way.

But pretty much the exact opposite of the OP. I like hanging out at home in a skirt and having a fun twirl or hanging out in super soft and loose women's lounge/sleepwear. Love the colors and flow of such women's wear rather than constriction.

Men's clothing is where I feel constricted and restricted.

 

[AlexBailey]

Women's clothes are intended to emphasize and display the erotic, sensuous and voluptuous female shape and curves. Worn on a body lacking those features they just look ridiculous. Like Gene Hackman in drag at the closing scenes of the movie "Birdcage"!!
There is nothing like a Dame!

That’s a fairly common opinion but it’s a generalization, not an intrinsic fact.

If you’ve ever tried on women’s clothing you would notice that there is way more to the way they fit than sizing. Women come in a wide variety of shapes and sizes. While some are curvy and voluptuous, others are skinny and shapeless, others are built like a brick shit house, and some are built in ways that are typically male. Have you not noticed how so many women’s styles are designed to drape and to not accentuate features? There is good reason why women typically try a lot of things on when shopping.



I was often mistaken for a female tomboy in my younger years, even when I had short hair and was wearing jeans and a t-shirt. I’ve been told by strangers that I looked butch and should make an effort to look more feminine.

I agree that many women’s styles look ridiculous on men, but many women’s styles also look ridiculous on many women. It’s up to the wearer to find a style that works for them.

 

[cdstefi]

Men's clothing is where I feel constricted and restricted.

Agreed! A skirt and blouse feel so freeing compared to men's shirts and trousers. I wear thongs daily (ones that fit snugly and contain the junk) and couldn't go back to any kind of male underwear which just seems excessively enclosing and over-warm now.

 

[P0peye]

. Women come in a wide variety of shapes and sizes. While some are curvy and voluptuous, others are skinny and shapeless, others are built like a brick shit house, and some are built in ways that are typically male. Have you not noticed how so many women’s styles are designed to drape and to not accentuate features? There is good reason why women typically try a lot of things on when shopping.
I agree that many women’s styles look ridiculous on men, but many women’s styles also look ridiculous on many women. It’s up to the wearer to find a style that works for them.

Although I identify as bisexual, I only lust after women, and only voluptuous women. I've never been attracted to the Twiggy lookalikes. A woman's shape reflects her biological function, to gestate and to nurture. and her erotic appeal is based on this fertility factor. I have yet to see a man whose physique compares to that of a sexually desirable woman. Vive la difference!

 

[Escierto]

Although I identify as bisexual, I only lust after women, and only voluptuous women. I've never been attracted to the Twiggy lookalikes. A woman's shape reflects her biological function, to gestate and to nurture. and her erotic appeal is based on this fertility factor. I have yet to see a man whose physique compares to that of a sexually desirable woman. Vive la difference!

In your opinion of course lol. Many (maybe most) Asian women would fail your test of female appeal.

 

[P0peye]

In your opinion of course lol. Many (maybe most) Asian women would fail your test of female appeal.

Maybe above the waist, but I've see some GORGEOUS Asian asses! And surgery can work wonders! Nothing wrong with helping Mother Nature along. Estoy Cierto

 

[Escierto]

Maybe above the waist, but I've see some GORGEOUS Asian asses! And surgery can work wonders! Nothing wrong with helping Mother Nature. Estoy Cierto

That's true. I have seen some myself. Of course my views on an appealing woman are quite the opposite of yours but then it takes all kinds. Some men (most probably) like the voluptuous. Some men like the flat chested skinny Minnie's.

 

[SissyBrandi19]

All I know is, once I decided to plunge into the sissy-pool, a pool filled with the creamy, warm, off-white semen of many Daddies, what with their turgid, girthy, throbbing cocks, one in my left hand, one in my right, as I'm riding some BBC Daddy and choking, eyes tearing up in rapture, on...what the hell is this thread, again? Sorry...I'm....it's been several days. I need to just...lay down...

 

[jk25]

Is this really still an issue today. At work the fellow in the cube next to mine wears black nail polish and no one cares that I know of. He’s a big guy so I don’t think any one wants too hehe. Now he did say he loved me in front of everyone the other day. I think he was joking and I told him he didn’t mean it. Lol. Actually he’s not my type but because he’s brave enough to paint his nails if he asked to fuck me I would probably submit. Honestly he paints them black and that’s not my color either. I think he’s straight and the reason for the nails is probably because he is a rocker or maybe goth I don’t know I haven’t asked. I may get brave enough and ask him some day. I say wear what you want to project to the world, and what makes you happy. If people don’t like it, it’s their problem not yours.

 

[2wayroad]

Black nails are a sign of trans solidarity. In fact, it may be possible the he began life as a she.

 

[jk25]

Black nails are a sign of trans solidarity. In fact, it may be possible the he began life as a she.

That’s good to know. I’m not trans just bi with a little cross dressing for fun when I want to feel pretty. Again thank you for letting me know. Kisses