100 word story. Exactly. No More. No less.

[MargotPayge]

This is a minor suggestion, and I defer to those more familiar with BDSM etiquette. Maybe shorten the terms in the last line to 'sub,' and 'domme.' The shortened terms might flow better. I like the last bit about her essentially being her own slave. It was a nice turn of the line.

I published this as a poem, "Slave to Her Pussy" and I ended up dropping that thread all together. I didn't feel I set it up enough for it to make it feel inevitable. It hurt me to lose it, but my rationale was: It's still out there for me to develop, if I want.

 

[Pureotica]

Comments welcome.

Awakening....

Eighteen.
Orientation weekend.
Our group leader was twenty-one, sporty, bubbly even; I couldn’t help but like her.

Later, on the quad, she reintroduced herself.
She noticed me!
My emotions rained in torrents; my sheltered life hadn’t prepared me.
Butterflies. Rainbows. Unicorns.

When we went back to her place, it seemed logical.
When we first kissed, it felt like I made the first move.
When my shirt hit the floor, she tenderly nursed on my breast.
She moved lower.
Jeans and panties followed.
Looking up, she said, “If you’ll let me, I’ll make you come with my tongue.”
I let her.

Very concrete details. Best line "When we first kissed, it felt like I made the first move." That lands a punch. But it's good over all. It's hard to actually be erotic in such a limited space and this achieves it. Good job.

 

[MargotPayge]

“Liquor? I hardly know her!”

How to sell a dad joke.
Step 1. Let a girl tell it.
Step 2. Fuck her.
Step 3. All is forgiven.
Well done.

 

[Pureotica]

I published this as a poem, "Slave to Her Pussy" and I ended up dropping that thread all together. I didn't feel I set it up enough for it to make it feel inevitable. It hurt me to lose it, but my rationale was: It's still out there for me to develop, if I want.

I understand. I revise poems a zillion times. But I lost most of my erotic ones in a move and I'm on kind of a poetry hiatus. I want to concentrate on getting some fiction done and I'm a slow-ish writer.

I followed you, and I'll check out more of your stuff. I have a creative writing background, and I try to give helpful feedback when people ask for it. It's tough to get useful feedback, for anything, but especially for erotica. Your writing is solid. I've enjoyed what I've read so far.

Feel welcome, but not obligated, to check out my content. It's w-i-p, so not ready for prime time and I don't have much up yet. There are bits of it that I'm proud of, though, and I'm open to feedback. It's experimental.

 

[BrightShinyGirl]

Jay

After my freshman year in college I worked as a counselor at a sleep-away camp. My bunkmate’s real name was Jennifer, but everyone called her Jay.

Jay looked like a teenage boy—flat chest, barely any hips, tiny little butt. She never wore make-up and kept her shaggy blonde hair cut tomboy short.

It was Jay was who taught me how to give blow jobs. We’d suck guys off behind the washhouse in exchange for doing our chores.

“Act impressed by how big they are. They love that.”

Then, after lights out, Jay taught me how to eat pussy.

 

[BrightShinyGirl]

Silver Bells

She’s fully dressed, I’m stark naked. I kneel before her, blindfolded, wrists bound.

She’s been playing with my tits for hours, coaxing my nipples into aching points. I hear the jingle and know what’s coming—before she put on the blindfold she showed me the clamps—cruel and pretty.

The pain is immediate, sharp and sweet. I draw my breath in with a sharp hiss.

I hear the rustle of her taking off her clothes. A hand on the the back of my head presses my face into her fragrant crotch.

I shake my tits. The bells jingle.

 

[MargotPayge]

I've been using these to try to make sure I include something that touches every sense. You do that so well, here: the sound, the tactile, the scent, drawing attention to the lack of vision, actually enhances the visual IMO. I hope mine feel as natural as yours.

 

[BrightShinyGirl]

Sperm Sample

My partner lets me jerk him off in the lab to guarantee our specimen is fresh. He’s erect before he gets his underwear off, his thick cock jutting straight out, eager and leaking.

I take him gingerly in my gloved hand, impressed by his heft.

Even though I know it’s unprofessional, this is making me wet.

As I stroke, his heavy balls sway provocatively in their hairy sack.

When he’s close, he clutches my shoulder and starts to moan.

I catch most of his load in the jar, but a single wayward drop splashes on my bare forearm.

 

[Biggalute]

Two neighbours, Suzi and June talking over their garden fence.

Suzi, “My husband’s just bought me a big bunch of flowers.”

June, “Wow, that’s so nice. I wish my husband was that romantic and thoughtful.”

Suzi was embarrassed, her face reddening, “It’s not really, you don’t understand.”

June didn’t want to pry but couldn’t help herself, “What’d you mean?”

Suzi, “Well, every time he buys me a big bunch of flowers I’ve got to go upstairs, take all my clothes off and lay on the bed with my legs open.”

June, “Why, haven’t you got any vases in your house?”

 

[Pureotica]

The Bare Truth

Bear and Bare had a vicious spat, their contentions of little matter.

In the course of things, Bear leveled accusations, unfounded and scurrilous, impugning Bares motives and character.

The papers got wind of their rile, and even CNN did a segment.

Bare was forced to hire the city's most reputable PR firm.

Things went so far that Bare hired an attorney who specialized in defamation.

Bear settled, retracted his slander, and rendered a public apology.

Folk took sides, obviously. In the end even the partisans were forced to concede the whole thing was nothing more than a homonym ad hominem.

 

[BrightShinyGirl]

Fertile

I’m the one who suggests doing it bareback.

“You sure?” he asks hopefully. He’s already on top of me.

“Uh-huh,” I nod, biting my lip. “Make me a mommy.”

We’ve always been so scrupulous about condoms, but we talked about it yesterday, and it’s time.

His cock slides in effortlessly. I’m so fucking wet. I always get horny when I’m ovulating. I’m a ripe piece of fruit, bursting with juice.

He tries to go slow, but can’t hold back. Almost immediately he’s desperately thrusting.

I wrap my legs around him, urging him deeper.

“I’m gonna,” he groans.

“Do it.”

 

[Dak2]

The curtains billowed, carried by the salty sea wind. Afternoon light cast dappled shadows across our bedroom as we woke from our brief sleep.

"You must really like me in my bathing suit, or should I say out of it?" She whispered. I felt her voice. She lifted her head from my chest to gaze at me and continued, "I'll check."

Her fingers caressed my cock, then encircled it; coaxing, teasing, taking my measure. "Hmmm...I'm right," she murmured.

Her eyes sparkeled and her grin widened. "Would you indulge me? Would you suck a hard cock while I watch you?"

 

[Dak2]

We were trying. After years of containg my seed in one way or another ( a rubber or an agonizing withdrawl or a shot in the dark) the game was on.

It was fun. She was in froth and nasty bordering on desperation. I felt like the last man on the planet. She was a musky, mixed with Chanel #something, goddess dressed in lingerie she wore only for me beneath a prim white blouse and tartan school girl skirt. She acknowledged my confided thrills.

I took her in haste. From behind. With urgency, the splendid sound of thrusting against her ass.

 

[luv2bfkd]

Looking down my gaze is fixed on his cock as he moves between my legs above me. Magnificent. So hard. So rigid. It looks so dominating, so delightfully intimidating. I’m all tingly in anticipation of what’s about to happen. I want it, I need it, I want to be owned and conquered. The bulbous head seems to home in on that little slit between my legs. It presses against me, stretching me, opening me. He pauses. I gasp as he slides his full length deep into my pussy in a single smooth stroke. Oh yes, my pussy fits him perfectly.

 

[lustychimera]

--Degenerate or not, I do enjoy writing drunk.--

Consent can be a “Yes.”

I suppose consent can even be a grunt in the right context.

But you snore regardless. How do you want me to interpret that?

See, it’s your bare piggies that I look for. Oh, I’m not a monster. I’ve never torn the covers off an unwitting slumberer. But if your toes poke out, you have to understand the implication here.

Just ask me, I’ll slather my tongue up and down your soles. Bounce it between each of your toes. Oooh! It might as well be a fleshy xylophone! Certainly, I’ll take that as a yes.

 

[Foolhen]

She didn’t know of his visit and as he approached the door, the sound made him stop dead, heart pounding. There was only one time when she made that sound.

Quietly he made his way around to the window at the side of the cabin and peered in. She was completely naked with her knees on the floor and her elbows resting on the futon. The other man had just withdrawn and his long penis made an arch from his groin to where it rested at the top of her white buttocks. He would never tell her what he saw.

 

[BrightShinyGirl]

Miss Morningwood

I straddle the stranger, taking care he doesn’t wake. Gingerly, I lift his thick erection and rest it against my bush, my lower abdomen.

It reaches nearly to my navel. Seeing it now by the light of day, it’s hard to believe I was able to take it all. But I did—multiple times. Last night he was in charge, peeling off my gown, my petticoats, my corset. Over and over, he mounted me, used me.

But now it’s my turn to take him.

His eyelids flicker.

I lay my finger on his lips.

“Shh, just a dream.”

 

[NoTalentHack]

The last girl in my bed was a good one, trying to be bad. Those are fine; their need to feel naughty is cute.

But this is a bad girl, and I want her to be good.

My dick is shiny from the lube. I’ve worked it into her ass as well; the lube, not my dick. Not yet.

“Say it.”

“I want your cock!”

“Where?”

“My ass!”

I wait.

“... Please?” She cries out as I give her what she wants.

I hilt in her ass and whisper, “Good girl.”

Her shy, submissive smile feels as good as any orgasm.

 

[Pureotica]

The curtains billowed, carried by the salty sea wind. Afternoon light cast dappled shadows across our bedroom as we woke from our brief sleep.

"You must really like me in my bathing suit, or should I say out of it?" She whispered. I felt her voice. She lifted her head from my chest to gaze at me and continued, "I'll check."

Her fingers caressed my cock, then encircled it; coaxing, teasing, taking my measure. "Hmmm...I'm right," she murmured.

Her eyes sparkeled and her grin widened. "Would you indulge me? Would you suck a hard cock while I watch you?"

Lovely language. Almost poetic in spots. The turn at the end is almost miss-able. I don't have a suggestion for a remedy though. Maybe tinker with the transition and see what happens.

 

[MargotPayge]

I agree. The theme is one of my favorites, but foreshadowing that moment in the limited number of words is so tough, without sacrificing the impact of the turn. I still think this story works well as is.

 

[BrightShinyGirl]

Apparently I'm in a Victorian mood. Also, limiting the scene to 100 words feels like painting in miniature.

The Commission

“A nude miniature for a locket.”

The mademoiselle reclined upon the divan in his Montparnasse studio, still demur despite her state of undress. The artist prepared his palette with cadmium white with a hint of vermillion for her creamy skin, emerald for her laughing eyes, chestnut for her loose, flowing hair, plus burnt umber for the thatch between her legs.

The latter he rendered with his finest brush to capture every wisp, every curl.

There was sea-shell pink also—for her lips, her nipples, her sex.

When he arose to bid her adieu, his arousal was shockingly obvious.

 

[visioneer]

Comments welcome.

Glory Hole

From curtained alcoves twilight-red light and humid exertions of rutting men spill into the hallway. The woman’s nose wrinkles. “Ah, semen… je ne sais quoi. Come along, pet.” She tugs the strap and smiles at its prompt slackness. A man leashed by his balls is an unfailingly compliant creature.

The scent crescendos at the hallway’s end; the booth is smaller than she expected. “Knees, pet.”

“Get inside.” She latches the door. Naked men drift toward the booth. A heavyset one shoulders past and fists his jutting cock through the hole.

The woman calls over her shoulder. “Bon appétit, my love.”

 

[MargotPayge]

Comments welcome.

Glory Hole

From curtained alcoves twilight-red light and humid exertions of rutting men spill into the hallway. The woman’s nose wrinkles. “Ah, semen… je ne sais quoi. Come along, pet.” She tugs the strap and smiles at its prompt slackness. A man leashed by his balls is an unfailingly compliant creature.

The scent crescendos at the hallway’s end; the booth is smaller than she expected. “Knees, pet.”

“Get inside.” She latches the door. Naked men drift toward the booth. A heavyset one shoulders past and fists his jutting cock through the hole.

The woman calls over her shoulder. “Bon appétit, my love.”

Strong. She scares me a lil' bit.

 

[visioneer]

Strong. She scares me a lil' bit.

In a good way, I hope.

 

[BrightShinyGirl]

Four Triangles

My friends insisted because my old one-piece was boring. Mortified, I bought the pink bikini for $20 at a souvenir shack, and changed in the back of the car. Taking pity on me, Jenna helped me with the strings—four bows for four triangles.

Naked—that’s how I felt walking on the beach. Stark naked. Everyone was looking at me. Boys were looking at me. Flirting with me.

Later I discovered exactly how much I had been showing when I let one particularly cute boy untie my bows.

I was red all over except for four pale triangles.