2013 Vincent Price Memorial Death Poetry Challenge

[butters]

I left a lot of holes filled with hope

hope is the narcotic of the human race

*does some peering*


hey, Angiebaby - you gave honourable mention. considering the challenge, you could have made that horrible mention. yeah yeah, everyone's a critic.

coffeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
a cold beer would be excellent, but it's gonna have to be coffee.

 

[Angeline]

hope is the narcotic of the human race

*does some peering*


hey, Angiebaby - you gave honourable mention. considering the challenge, you could have made that horrible mention. yeah yeah, everyone's a critic.

coffeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
a cold beer would be excellent, but it's gonna have to be coffee.

I'll bet Champ would be willing to accept that award, too.

 

[corndog_]

this deserves a longer comment than i dropped before (and beyond the fact it showed me how to indent )

didn't recognise the name, Zevon, but realised who it was as soon as i saw 'werewolves of london' mentioned. a modern 'Howl'? *smiles*

your title couches what follows in that place we all recognise as one meaning safety, security, the place one feels most comfortable - so i read this as Home and Howl together, succinctly depraved, and underlined by the lyrics used from 'excitable boy'.

what i believe you've done with this piece is pick us up and place us inside the head of the howling one; you've removed the external judgement we'd automatically feel as outsiders witnessing events, and put us inside his p.o.v.

the use of 'baying' together with moonlight continues the werewolf conceit, strengthening the sense of the animalistic.

the romanticised aspect of 'mother-of-pearl arcs' and the moonbeam's 'pale gaze' give a wonderfully sad, macabre, poetically human aspect to the disturbed mind involved.

'crooked hand' is just another clear visual that has layerings of meaning that serve to remind me of the scene from american werewolf in london (and others) where they focus tightly on the shaping of the hand as it changes.

'calcified carnal nest' is a superb turn of phrase - not because of its alliteration, but because of all it manages to convey as a phrase, plus points for originality. 'nest', especially, adds continuity to the 'home' idea - safety, comfort, protection....

originality continues with 'eyebeams' - we can imagine a laser-like search beyond the surface and into dark places.

'I know you felt me/penetrate the dirt' - once again, all about duality or more of meaning. you make this erotica from the subject's pov - and it works! it gives us uncomfortable insight/empathy. you serve us up his sexual and emotional pleasure without compromise. it works, and works well. all about the layerings. thankyou.

 

[corndog_]

well after we cleaned all the slime off you have served up something I am in awe of, there is a sexual tension in a weird macabre way, you manage to paint in sparse lines a yearning for this dead thing in the ground, the urge to dig it up, caress it.

As butters said, with have an empathetic reaction toward the desire due to the way you wrote it.

Thanks, todski28!

I'm glad I was able to make everyone comfortable with their necrophilia.

 

[twelveoone]

if it is, then i've not the skills to notice. others might be of more help, all i can do is say how it affected me.

shit, that damned typo

rein, dammit, rein
*goes edit*

that dear lady, is crockery of the most self effacing sort

 

[butters]

that dear lady, is crockery of the most self effacing sort

well i didn't notice, and i'm kind of hoping i would have - so i covered my bases

 

[todski28]

Bumping for anybody whose interested, corndog and angeline smashed this outta the park and the others were damn good too

 

[Angeline]

Bumping for anybody whose interested, corndog and angeline smashed this outta the park and the others were damn good too

I forgot I wrote that poem. Thanks Tods.

(I'm feeling well incredibly uninspired today. I have to start thinking about Halloween!)