how much do expectations dictate actions
are future events preordained
contorted by unconscious obsession
what control can we excercise
to exorcise our inner demons
and elevate hopes to happenings
to avoid deepseated dread
through positive reenforcement
what is the formula to transform
the sum of all fears into one
where happiness holds the balance
He carries the pride of lions
in his prowl, the king
of the jungle in his demands,
every stripe on his coat a birthright,
every step an owning
of the land he protects.
He shares his territory with others,
a grudging symbiotic harmony
of play and peace,
of sleep and trust. With us
he shares his spoils.
He is strength
he is vulnerability
he is loved.
I feel her pulling me in again
She lives her life by halfs
But I live my life by nothings
Her halfs seem like alls
A life of friendship
Lives like a life of love
My emotions tangle around her beautiful soul
Where half-truths and lies are enough
Wouldn't it be something, now that I've let you go
Wouldn't it be something, now that I've let myself grow
Wouldn't it be something, if we went back to that day
Wouldn't it be something, if you never went away
I tire of trying
to find my voice
in other words, I scream
in silent suffering, I cry
unseen by many, I rejoice
all too infrequently, I dance
but just enough,
to keep me trying
Orange grove drive
the night lights tease my belly
she stops at my request
i lose the alcohol sitting on the top
the fruit juice burns my throat at it comes back
the sign holding me up says
Ritz Mansion
in the car i look back in time to see
the rose bed shiny at the root
Does this mean I can buy a new skin
wrap it around myself
and hide? Without a cellphone
who would know me was me?
Who would care?
I'd wear my new cloak, walk
among the living, watch
the future dead as they scam
and shuffle the nights
once more before dawn
drags their dreams to the dungeon.
No direct dialing will save their skin.
No last minute chip toss to green
will upgrade their tech-speak.
A dungeon is a dungeon.
And cell phones won't work down there.
Beneath her sandal
lie the remains of a good ant
by the name of Jonathan Taggard.
He could muscle a bite
of baklava out of the diner and across
the street to a bald, hilly lot.
Jonathan Taggard leaves behind
a colony that will go without
baklava tonight.
I know now, that even when
they spill their ugliness
like the lahar from a volcano
that underneath, and afterwards,
there is beauty to be found.
It might be in the simplicity
of a dandelion seed, white wings
floating on Autumn,
or the delight in a child's smile.
Or, it may even be found
in a glance.
There is a desert of incomparable beauty
I have lain near it and looked up into the ethereal plane
But my eyes fall from the heavens back upon this desert
So filled with life and joy, it's soft touch holds me bound
As waves of muscle and sinew move beneath
I pray that it will sweep me away
"my father was the greatest samuari in the empire."
- Ninja Assasin
teach your body to obey your mind,
through muscle tearing
teach your mind to obey your will,
through breath control
teach your will to only want good things,
through practice
his always red truck
with two lock boxes for tools
picking me up from school we would practice
those great mantra, unspoken
under houses, on roof tops
in alleys
his money in wires, puting blue bolt veins
in the unmade world
one day in the cab
between my seat and his,
naked women on glossy paper
spread and waiting
for what was growing in my pants
to show me what a man is supposed to like
because whores aren't legal
because his father always made jokes about him being a faggot
because making me a man would make him more of one
he feels he failed my brother, who went the way he most feared
Rain, unlike snow, has no form.
It does not sit on roofs, cars,
trees, giving us pictures to try
and remember. Its shapeless
body never quite vanishing
once it has occupied a place,
each leftover particle sending
out signals to a mother cloud
hovering high above. You cannot
listen out for whispers or voices,
they are carefully concealed
in its translucent shell. Dissection
is only possible by lightning,
its million volt knife cutting
through, revealing an empty box.