9th Annual Oh No, Not Again!!

[Tzara]

♪Cum on people now!♪♫ Smile on your brother, ♪ev'ry buddy get together ♫ try ta luv one another ♫♪ right now!

Do not make mock of this song.

I was fourteen years old and bent my fingers something awful trying to figure it out.

But then, you know, this poet thing. You don't even have to get the chords right.

 

[Angeline]

Well, that's me too, m'dear, however cranky I may be. (That's the problematic Lord Vader side o' me. We never liked that side of the family anyway.)

I like you all. I really really like you all.

Damn it, I do, despite that smiley face.

Fuck.

Shake.

Shake.

Shake shake shake shake shake.

Again shake shake shake.

Fuck.

Well, different, anyway.
Whut?

<I'm a Gemini. I disagree with myself. Quite a bit. It's ok. Nobody else needs to understand it. I do. Sort of.>

Not effing Moxie, please, fer God's sake.

Maybe Coke er something. Could I have a beer? Please.

No. No Moxie. Moxie is evil. Tath likes it, I think, but he's Boston born and raised. I live in Maine, but am from New Joisey. Born and bred. No Moxie for me either. You can have whatever beer you like, dear man, although if I know PoeTesse, she probably brought the single malt.

 

[Liar]

But then, you know, this poet thing. You don't even have to get the chords right.

There are chords? Nobody ev er told me there were chords. Damn I feel like a virgin now.

I'm waiting for bijou to write the first chapter of the chain story. Will there be chains?

 

[unpredictablebijou]

There are chords? Nobody ev er told me there were chords. Damn I feel like a virgin now.

I'm waiting for bijou to write the first chapter of the chain story. Will there be chains?

oh, it's happening, I assure you. This past couple of weeks the whole Real Life thing has finally snapped me, quite thoroughly and dangerously, and there WILL be a chain story called Day of the Virgins. And there WILL be chains.

o yes.

bj

 

[The_Fool]

oh, it's happening, I assure you. This past couple of weeks the whole Real Life thing has finally snapped me, quite thoroughly and dangerously, and there WILL be a chain story called Day of the Virgins. And there WILL be chains.

o yes.

bj

You are just looking for chains to wrap you tight and cuddle you with that cold unyielding steal. Rough edges on the links from the casting tear at delicate skin in places best not revealed unless forced to. Snap at them with your anger in a most pitiable way, cry and lanquish with a "please" upon salty lips. The response, a round of mocking laughter with a crop across bare ass for closure. So where was the denouement? When you heard the snap-link close.

 

[unpredictablebijou]

You are just looking for chains to wrap you tight and cuddle you with that cold unyielding steal. Rough edges on the links from the casting tear at delicate skin in places best not revealed unless forced to. Snap at them with your anger in a most pitiable way, cry and lanquish with a "please" upon salty lips. The response, a round of mocking laughter with a crop across bare ass for closure. So where was the denouement? When you heard the snap-link close.

damn, boy, where you been all my life?

bj

 

[The_Fool]

damn, boy, where you been all my life?

bj

Mostly here. Was in Germany for a while, but the Army didn't completely brainwash me. Did the Texas thing for awhile, but was dragged to Illinios kicking and screaming. Okay, I was sleeping we we drover there. The only place I have been consistently is out of my mind.

 

[unpredictablebijou]

Mostly here. Was in Germany for a while, but the Army didn't completely brainwash me. Did the Texas thing for awhile, but was dragged to Illinios kicking and screaming. Okay, I was sleeping we we drover there. The only place I have been consistently is out of my mind.

Well that explains it. I've never been any of those places.

bj

 

[twelveoone]

Yeah, yeah—there's maybe no red carpet, but my God there is all the angst and intrigue of a Major Awards Show. And O, all that sweet, though verbal, décolletage! Those legs! That stalwart manly, uh, manliness! That underhanded, kited manipulation of a technology IPO plus that of a questionable presidential race! Add that to the fun and what do you have?

Yay! It's Literotica's year-end awards!

OK, newbie, here's the drift: You're supposed to pick your favorite writers in various categories. Things like Most Helpful Editor or Most Original Sex Scene. Or, probably more relevant here, Lit's Most Influential Poet. Sounds simple, huh?

(Insert dismisively nasal Frenchy sounds here.) Mais non, monsieur ou madame! Non non non non non!

That French adds culture, don't you think?

Never mind.

Anyway, here's your guidey thing:

The personifers involved:

• The Angry Person: No one nominated me, you sons of bitches! And I thought you were my friends! Hell, I've been here for (hours/days/months/years) and you people still don't recognize my brillliance.
  
  Motherfuckers.
  .
• The Other Angry Person: I want to nominate X because (her or she) fucking have the rules down and are cheating those of us who worked our butts off to win this/some/whatever contest. I mean their stories and/or poems suck and are short and nobody likes them anyway, they don't get hardly any votes or reads and, fuck, they're an asshole, anyway. But they did it so they have my vote.
  
  Assholes.
  
  I'm so doing this next year. Just saying.
  .
• The Virgin: Hello (insert heart-shaped friendly thing here), I just signed up for Lit but I have been a fan of X oh for many years. His/her stories/poems are the greatest!!! She/he is my favorite writer!!!! I'd better sign up again!!! to make sure you count my vote!!!!!!!
  .
• The Conciliator: Aren't we all just friends? Why, I think we are!
  
  How 'bout we hold hands and sing Kumbaya? (Hi, Ross! Guano Apes, especial fer you)
  
  No, it's OK if you can't sing! Harmony is overrated, after all.
  
  God, I love you, everyone.
  
  What lyrics?
  
  Oh, yeah, peace. Peace.
  .
• The Nihilist: You people are all stupid. Real poetry, real writing happens in the streets. You people know nothing about life.
  
  Idiots.
  
  Hey, can I borrow twenty bucks? I'm good for it.

OK, folks. Here's my sound and expert advice on how to deal with this year-end stuff: Go watch a movie with someone. A love, if you have one; if not, buy lots of popcorn and eat it all. Buy lots of popcorn anyway. Its bad for you, which is, paradoxically, good.

Well, not really, but hell, it tastes good anyway.

Peace ungoodwill to man

Le chat dans le chapeau chie en arrière

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