A Dom with isses...

[lil_slave_rose]

Rose... i won't comment further on your relationship. i just want to say that i understand what it is like to try to juggle multiple things at once...kids, work, trying to make ends meet, relationships. It's hard...bone-grindingly hard at times.

Please try to take care of yourself in the process.

i have no problem with you (or anyone else on this board) commenting on my relationship. it's just i came back on the board after a short absence cause i havn't had time to sit down and be online, and i found 2 threads airing out my business and i just went on the defensive. please please forgive me, i didn't mean to offend anyone or make anyone feel like they did wrong in commenting on these threads. i just felt i needed to throw my two cents in and let everyone know where i'm at in my mind at the moment and that i'm not "neglecting" the things in my life that matter the most. ya know??

thank you for your kind words and well wishes. i knwo we'll be ok because we always are, but even if things fall apart, He and i will get through that together as well.

 

[Evil_Geoff]

I know it's a difficult place to be rose. Juggling children, job, relationship, family, friends... Been there, done that, got the scars, tears, medical bills, t-shirts, pictures on the fridge, scout meetings, camping trips, missed school ceremonies, regrets, memories...

It is unfortunate, but we can't make everyone happy all the time. Not our kids, not our mates, not our bosses, not our family, often not even ourselves. It sucks, I know.

I won't comment further hon, I'm not in your shoes or Phoenix's, I'm not a best buddy or confidant, I'm not a counselor or confessor for either of you and I surely don't know the whole story.

I just want both of you to know that you can work through this trying period. Together. If both of you hold on to what you KNOW is true, and remain committed to one another.

My best wishes and thoughts and prayers are with you both.

 

[lil_slave_rose]

I know it's a difficult place to be rose. Juggling children, job, relationship, family, friends... Been there, done that, got the scars, tears, medical bills, t-shirts, pictures on the fridge, scout meetings, camping trips, missed school ceremonies, regrets, memories...

It is unfortunate, but we can't make everyone happy all the time. Not our kids, not our mates, not our bosses, not our family, often not even ourselves. It sucks, I know.

I won't comment further hon, I'm not in your shoes or Phoenix's, I'm not a best buddy or confidant, I'm not a counselor or confessor for either of you and I surely don't know the whole story.

I just want both of you to know that you can work through this trying period. Together. If both of you hold on to what you KNOW is true, and remain committed to one another.

My best wishes and thoughts and prayers are with you both.

thank You EG. You don't know how much Your words mean to me. i respect Your opinions and posts always. we are just going through a rough time right now, and i know things will work out in the end, they always do. it's nice to know we've got people out there pulling for us. and You can comment anytime. i didn't mean to be so defensive in my original posts..i posted right after i found the threads and just...kind of vented on everyone...i'm sorry if i made anyone feel like they were wrong in posting their thoughts to Master.

 

[MasterPhoenix]

i do love you, i think that's apparent to everyone who knows us, i'm just having a REALLY rough time right now and trying to make ends meet. i don't know how to do that. it seems no matter what i do, i'm making someone unhappy. i don't know how else i can assure you that WE are fine, that our relationship has not changed. i tell you all of the time and it never seems to get through. i know You are used to me being able to be on the phone all night when you get off work, i can't do that anymore. i don't know what else to say except i love You.

And I love you...

 

[VelvetDarkness]

i am not neglecting the important things in my life, i am trying to work and make ends meet for me and my 2 kids. neither one of our jobs can be 'altered' to suit our relationship. hard times happen to everyone. i am a single mom and i am trying my best to make everyone in my life happy and it's not working. most of all i am trying to pay bills and be able to put food on the table. we have a 3 hour time difference which makes things alot more difficult as well. i go to work at 11:00a.m. it's 8:00a.m. His time when i go to work. i get off at 7:30pm it's 4:30pm his time, and he's already at work by then. he gets off anywhere from midnight to 2:00 in the morning my time, i am already in bed by then. THIS is the problem, there is just not enough hours in the day. *sighs* i don't know what to do anymore.....i really don't.....

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend anyone. That post was in response to what MP said before and not aimed at you at all. Having said that, it was simplistic and I didn't know your circumstances at all. My best friend has gone through what you are experiencing now being a newly single mum and I know that it's really hard. I don't think any of us can do more than offer our support and best wishes. I really do hope that you both get through this.

 

[trueandyou]

Long Distance

I'm in a difficult LDR right now and boy do I understand how you feel. Reading your post really brought home those issues, and this may be a real part of why I'm having difficulty right now with my guy.

From a sub woman's point of view, as inexperienced as I am, I would say communication is key. I would rather know my guy is feeling down about this... it wouldn't make me feel like he is less Dominant or weak at all. It would make me feel reassured that he cares.

Hang in there. The level of caring on this site is amazing.

 

[serijules]

As Dawnie always says....you may not have much time to spend together, but don't ruin the time you do have by focusing on the negatives.

It's hard...I'm going through the same thing right now, as Ma'am is going back to school and works nights. She spends all her free time studying, and has to be really careful at work as she's not technically supposed to have her cell phone so she can only text when she has moments alone. Usually by the time she gets to work and first rounds are over, I'm falling asleep as I get up at 6am and have chronic fatigue syndrome, so I'm always tired. When she is studying, I'm working, so I can't talk much. By the time I'm off work, she's sleeping. We are both sick a lot, so both grumpy a lot. It doesn't make for very much time!

I wish she would take more time to reply to my emails and journal posts, I wish she'd leave me messages more often...but I do understand and I know it has nothing to do with me, just life is happening and as part of her life, I'm affected by it. She is too....I know she'd love more time but right now, it isn't there.

It's hard to accept, but if you make it harder by not believing in the strength of your relationship, you will CAUSE problems and the time you do have will be spent fighting, arguing and defending. Not worth it. Not worth it at all.

 

[BiaTcHiNFiRe]

As Dawnie always says....you may not have much time to spend together, but don't ruin the time you do have by focusing on the negatives.

*nods head*

In LDR or online relationships its not always easy to stay in touch, but once the both sides have a free time I am for spending it as best as possible and just enjoy each others.



MasterPhoenix and lil_slave_rose I really understand to both of you and I keep my fingers crossed for you to get thro this hard time. My advice is enjoy what you can and not get too frusty at times when you miss each other. Guess thats the hardest thing in LDR and online relationships.

Once you realise you ARE really loved by your Dom or sub you will learn to enjoy the time you are possible to spend together. I went thro time when I found it really hard to handle myself on days when my Master wasnt around. I was worriing if I am still loved etc etc. I needed him to assure me I am loved over and over again, but it finaly starts to fit deep in me. I know I am loved by my Master now, no matter if I see him for few days or not.

Peeps get busy, me and him as well. But nuthing can change what we share and feel. I am around when I got time to do so and same with him. I have lots of things to do just right now, we always stay in touch thro emails at least tho. I miss my Master on days when he's busy yes, but I understand thats life. There are things that have to be done. I gota take care of my lil girl - he gotta work hard. Sometimes we miss each other for few days, but I no longer moan about it. All I want when he's back is to spend the time as nicer as possible and really enjoy each other.

I understand how you feel MP. Trust me I know everything about being depressed and not feeling the love from peeps who keep telling me they love me. One thing is to hear it-another thing is to feel it. Feel love when you get this down is really hard, so I understand you very well. *hugs*

My advice for you is to trust your sub a little bit more, you really need to. I had to do the same when I felt just like you do. Only thing I had to do was open up a little bit more and allow him to surround me with his love. It took me lots of strenght as I find it hard to trust peeps, but he showed me he can be trusted and I trust him as to anybody else right now. Now I know I am loved and I enjoy it very much.

We have times when we are busy and we have times we can spend lots of time together, but nuthing can change the way he makes me feel. It doesnt matter if he's around or not, I know I am deep in his heart same as he's deep in mine.

On days when your sub is not able to be around try keep yourself busy with something you really love to do. The worst thing you can do is to sit and think where she is and what she's doing. Doing this will make you feel shit. I know cuz I been doing it... Let it go and enjoy what you have, you will be much happier then trust me.

Wish ya both the best!!

 

[Toa_lin]

i am not neglecting the important things in my life, i am trying to work and make ends meet for me and my 2 kids. neither one of our jobs can be 'altered' to suit our relationship. hard times happen to everyone. i am a single mom and i am trying my best to make everyone in my life happy and it's not working. most of all i am trying to pay bills and be able to put food on the table. we have a 3 hour time difference which makes things alot more difficult as well. i go to work at 11:00a.m. it's 8:00a.m. His time when i go to work. i get off at 7:30pm it's 4:30pm his time, and he's already at work by then. he gets off anywhere from midnight to 2:00 in the morning my time, i am already in bed by then. THIS is the problem, there is just not enough hours in the day. *sighs* i don't know what to do anymore.....i really don't.....

Rose, it's good to see you back. and the first thing that comes to my mind... is the term "working mother" is REALLY redundant. I can't even imagine how hard that alone has to be, I wish i could help in some way, simply cus you and MP have both been a bit of inspiration for me. Sorry i cannot.

But you do have my thoughts, and best of hopes and wishes. Good luck to both of you. I know in my core you two will make it.

 

[Daddyslilpet]

As Dawnie always says....you may not have much time to spend together, but don't ruin the time you do have by focusing on the negatives.

<snip>

It's hard to accept, but if you make it harder by not believing in the strength of your relationship, you will CAUSE problems and the time you do have will be spent fighting, arguing and defending. Not worth it. Not worth it at all.

MP and Rose, This is very good advice. Daddy and I have been there too especially during his first deployment in 2003. We nearly allowed the frustration of separation and lack of time together to drive us apart forever. Something not many people know about. I'm telling you this now in the hopes that you will see that you must trust in your love for each other, be patient with each other, and stop playing the blame game. It doesn't do your relationship any good, trust me on this one, I know from experience.

I have much respect for you both or else I would not be posting any of this. So please don't take what I'm saying here as bashing of either of you because that is so not the case. It is my hope that things will settle down for the two of you very soon!

 

[lil_slave_rose]

Rose, it's good to see you back. and the first thing that comes to my mind... is the term "working mother" is REALLY redundant. I can't even imagine how hard that alone has to be, I wish i could help in some way, simply cus you and MP have both been a bit of inspiration for me. Sorry i cannot.

But you do have my thoughts, and best of hopes and wishes. Good luck to both of you. I know in my core you two will make it.

i'm glad we have been an inspiration to You. and honestly, things seem to be going a little better. i am sorry to anyone who i offended when i first saw this thread and responded. i was just upset that it seemed the blame game was being played and it was all on me and no one knew my side of the story, ya know? i know we'll make it through this, to be honest we've made it through harder times. life happens and ya lose track of what's important. but we'll make it

 

[FurryFury]

I hope things continue to get better. I wish you both the best!