a ??? for sub's

[sexymom]

I did not mean for my use of the term doormat to be offensive, and, realizing now that it was, I apologize. However, the idea that the definition and practice of submission as we know it is a "politically correct" construct is also offensive and divisive. I have nothing against people who accept responsibility for their decisons or actions, and I don't believe anyone else does either. What we need to guard against is the "not my fault- the devil made me do it" philosophy- which is also sort of politically correct today. We all make decisions as to how to act in given situations, even though we sometimes don't realize it. The failure to assume responsibility for one's actions is what I termed the "doormat" syndrome, and I did not mean to hang that label on anyone here.

It is incidents like that breast-feeding woman, trying to pass the buck to her husband, who, of course, couldn't be punished, that give bdsm a bad name, and I believe the community was justified in emphasizing, strongly, that this isn't submission. I did not equate this type of behaviour to anyone on this board.

 

[ownedsubgal]

I did not mean for my use of the term doormat to be offensive, and, realizing now that it was, I apologize. However, the idea that the definition and practice of submission as we know it is a "politically correct" construct is also offensive and divisive. I have nothing against people who accept responsibility for their decisons or actions, and I don't believe anyone else does either. What we need to guard against is the "not my fault- the devil made me do it" philosophy- which is also sort of politically correct today. We all make decisions as to how to act in given situations, even though we sometimes don't realize it. The failure to assume responsibility for one's actions is what I termed the "doormat" syndrome, and I did not mean to hang that label on anyone here.

It is incidents like that breast-feeding woman, trying to pass the buck to her husband, who, of course, couldn't be punished, that give bdsm a bad name, and I believe the community was justified in emphasizing, strongly, that this isn't submission. I did not equate this type of behaviour to anyone on this board.

sexymom, i am not one of those who cannot take responsibility for my own actions. if an action of mine brought harm somehow to someone else, than i will take the full blame for it. however, that does not mean that we all consciously CHOOSE to do everything we do. some submissives do indeed submit without choice, they submit from instinct. i am one of those submissives. i do what is wanted of me, not because that is what i want to do or choose to do, but because it is not within me to refuse or fight someone. so, my actions are not always within my control. when it comes to my submission, obeying or not obeying are definitely not within my control. but i still accept complete responsibility for my actions.

if i were in that woman's position that you described...and my Master had told me to breastfeed our child at that time, i doubt i would bring his name into it unless pressed to do so, and even then i would at all costs try to avoid having him get in any sort of trouble.

 

[sexymom]

i understand-- i have a problem with people who don't agree with me sometimes, or maybe don't understand me-- i'm working on it- god knows, those of us in the bdsm community have enough problems with the vanilla world that we don't need to fight among ourselves.

your attitude, and your perceptions, are very different from what i believe to be common among most of the bdsm community. I have always argued that it's ok to be different, and yet, because i thought you were not a legitimate part of the bdsm world (as i saw it), for some reason, in your case, it became different=bad. That was not warranted on my part, and i am sorry for what i thought about you, as well as what i said.

lol- i still don't agree with you about consensuality- until a couple of years ago, i thought smoking was nonconsensual on my part- i didn't choose to do it-- but i will not think ill of you because you don't agree with me.

 

[ownedsubgal]

sexymom, the world would be a dull, tedious thing if we all agreed about everything, all the time. but tolerance is a good thing...i'm glad to have been able to grow to a point where today i think i'm a very tolerant person, tolerant of other ways and points of view. and i fully understand you not agreeing with me about submissive choice. we are two very different types of submissives. i believe it is one of those things where if you do not feel it, live it, you will not understand, and likely will not accept as truth or possible for anyone else.

 

[Lolatheshowgirl]

I have a 6 year old. She is a healthy happy unabused child with her psyche intact, good self esteem and a healthy ego. She has never been spanked herself or, seen anyone spanked to my knowledge. She ties stuff up. She spanks stuff. She likes to be tickled until she can't take it anymore plus a few more seconds. She asks me to rub her feet and when I come to a tender spot and she winces, she begs me not to stop, she says it feels good. When I asked her why she wants me to do it if it hurts, she said that she likes to cry. I don't know if she will be a pain slut when she grows up. If we are still around then and she does, I'll bump this thread and let you know. I know that this thread asked about subs in particular but, I think that people are who they are. If they are let alone, I think that they will be who they will be and that they don't change fundamentally from the time that they are born until they die.

 

[SwtSouthrnSub]

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