A "Foreign" Challenge

[greenmountaineer]

Repeating the list of participating poets

http://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=85201926&postcount=39

Poets have until Saturday night Eastern Standard Time to send me any revisions.

I'll post them and identities the following Sunday morning.

 

[AlwaysHungry]

Wow, some of those are very exotic indeed. Here are a few guesses:

MARIE CELESTE -- Ashesh.
Barney in Barney -- GM
Índigo Chihuahua -- GM
a Lady Rider wearing Jodhpurs -- Ashesh
I love what you are saying -- GP
Pseudo Nazi Neo Paparazzi -- Mags
Letter from Paris -- Mer

 

[greenmountaineer]

Small Sacrifice

Lu she love dem chilllun
more’n she love her own life.
When de masa lose he shirt
alonga da plantation
she knows dey get sole.
Her little ‘un, she not walking yet
but de two boys,
nine and six,
dey’s get good money.

Lu, she desp’rate
to take ‘em out
aimin’ north - Canada mebbe,
but da bounty men was good
and caught ‘em
dis sid’a Massachusetts.

Lu had ‘em hidin’
in a pig pen.
When she hear de men get close
she go to kill her babbies - all three
but she only got de littlest throat
screamin’ all da while.
She in jail now, crazy wild
and de boys?.
De Lawd knows where dey at.

I judge a poem's worth by how long its effect remains with me. I'm still feeling two ghostly hands clutching at my throat, the room going black, and the last sensation a tear dripping on my face.

A babyboomer, I came of age during the sixties. To think something like this happened a mere 100 years before more or less sends shivers up and down my spine.

I wouldn't change a thing in this poem.

 

[legerdemer]

Small Sacrifice echoes Toni Morrison's book Beloved, a book I loved and was shocked by, all the while reading it with tears streaming down my face. It's an unforgettable book, and this poem took me back there. Perhaps by GP?

 

[legerdemer]

Autochthon Permaculture


awasos leave many namas river go sleep

sweet tree sharp stick spear namas cook eat

tribe make smoke namas deep snow come eat

sweet tree dull stick fire make

many many night spirit gizos rise sky

sleep sleep wìkəwαm warm awasos hide


day spirit gizos smile high sky

snow melt sweet tree drip drip

make hole drop awasos dung

sweet tree stick pole bean squash corn seed

many namas river many many ice run

sweet tree sharp stick spear namas jump up

old brave old squaw children run

awasos come many namas river eat

Without any Googling of the interesting words that I don't know and yet fit perfectly into the weave of this one, I'd guess this one is by Piscator. I think it does a lovely job of putting us in the frame of mind of a Native American tribe going about its business of living.

 

[Ashesh9]

Without any Googling of the interesting words that I don't know and yet fit perfectly into the weave of this one, I'd guess this one is by Piscator. I think it does a lovely job of putting us in the frame of mind of a Native American tribe going about its business of living.

but Pisc isn't in the list of Poets for this challenge Mer ......

 

[Ashesh9]

full marks for tryin' , AH!!!

Wow, some of those are very exotic indeed. Here are a few guesses:

MARIE CELESTE -- Ashesh.
Barney in Barney -- GM
Índigo Chihuahua -- GM
a Lady Rider wearing Jodhpurs -- Ashesh
I love what you are saying -- GP
Pseudo Nazi Neo Paparazzi -- Mags
Letter from Paris -- Mer

AH , a far better Poet/ess than me has written Marie Celeste : guess that ' you want me in your fanny' led you to my pen but Mea Non Culpa !
Lady rider was riddled with my trademark giveaway clues , of course : it's a no-brainer

 

[pelegrino]

I attempt three guesses for the moment, and I'll keep on guessing.

Barney in Barnet : UnderYourSpell
Índigo Chihuahua : Magnetron
#4 : Ashesh 9

 

[legerdemer]

but Pisc isn't in the list of Poets for this challenge Mer ......

Egads! I plead low caffeine!

hmmm - I stand by the other stuff...

 

[AlwaysHungry]

MARIE CELESTE

You are passing through my life, Marie Celeste,
To your whims I say goodbye and all the best!
You were just the light of this world, Marie Celeste,
All the stars illuminating and all the rest,
My mysterious haunted vessel, Marie Celeste,
testing little lamp lights green on the alco test,
To Lassithi tanti bacci, Marie Celeste,
Sing this song: "Amari Cazzi", if you’re depressed.

Sure, you were a little freaked out, Marie Celeste,
You were influenced by the movies of Far West,
You were just a little baby, Marie Celeste,
One of the beloved and cuddly, I should molest,
You desire me in your fanny, Marie Celeste,
so you were as sweet as honey and I was blessed,
I inhaled all your juices, Marie Celeste,
If I'm spared from your corruption, give me some rest.

How can I bid you farewell, Marie Celeste?
Times are not coming backwards to re-invest,
So much love passing between us, Marie Celeste,
Coitus of every rhyme, it was a jest,
Now the joke is done and over, Marie Celeste,
I just wish a poser life to every pest,
Every love is bound to hit you deep in the chest,
But…
Life's a bitch and then you die…
Marie Celeste.

I found the repeated "Marie Celeste", and every line except the penultimate one rhyming with it, to be oppressive after a while. I think that the repetition would be more effective if there was occasional relief from it.

 

[AlwaysHungry]

Barney in Barnet

So, I was takin’ the trouble ‘n strife
to the take-away for a good, spicy
Ruby Murray when we ‘appened
on a right barney. One of the guys
had a Quentin Crisp so the others.
fresh from the rub-a-dub and very
elephant’s trunk, took him for an oily rag,
a bit of a Alphonse and punched ‘im
right in the Ricky Gervasis. Wot you
might call “a hate lemon and lime”.
The fellah was no typewriter and made
to Bo’ney Bay across the frog ‘n toad.
It started to Cynthia Paine, a regular
cloud burst and the bullies turned
and ran fer cover. Our friend wiv da
Roy Hudd comin’ out ‘is garden ‘ose
sugar lumped into a nearby Joe Baxi
an’ we went an’ has the best biryani evah.

I had guessed GM on this one, but I'd like to change my guess to UYS. I gather that this is Cockney dialect, and she's the only one on the list who I think is likely to have enough facility to pull this off. I found the poem largely incomprehensible but affecting nonetheless. Also, a little scary, because it reminded me of "A Clockwork Orange" (for those of you who haven't read it, the book is much scarier than the movie.)

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Barney in Barnet isn't me and now I've got to go and find the list to think who it could be!
Guilty Pleasure who used to be English? or Magnetron Googling?
It's Cockney rhyming slang by the way, although some I haven't come across before so they're not in common use and so possibly Googled.

 

[greenmountaineer]

Letter from Paris

What is it about her, that grande dame
with her weary smile and her je ne sais quoi,
her saucy hips of soft blond stone or her
marble décolletage enticing love birds
of all sorts to perch?

Her puddles reflect the sunlight filtered through
suspended cotton, and splash up her skirts.
Windows of antiquaires like eyes beguile,
fluttering letters signed by Cocteau, Flaubert,
Colette, and Hugo, and display Modigliani look-alikes.

I take you with me as we stroll through the Tuileries,
watching the knots of lovers or friends, and the lone wolf
—so debonair—casting his foxy eyes about for the comely waif.

I imagine your touch boiling against me as we walk,
arm-in-arm, to the clip-clop of heels on cobbles.
I muse on what might have been if we’d crossed paths before,
and how our fingers would tingle with the warmth.

Non, je ne regrette rien, though I still ponder the what ifs,
and pine sometimes that our imaginations were not more entwined,
a tighter weave over the doubts that hardly seemed to matter then.

I enjoyed this very much. At first I thought it was about Venus de Milo, but the narrative didn't support that interpretation.

In the end, it occurred to me who it was really didn't matter.

There's always danger in a melancholic poem of too much melancholy. In this lament there was just enough to draw my attention, and I suspect the narrator in saying "je ne regret rien" did so with a sigh.

I think the noun "fox" used as an adjective works better than "foxy eyes." It has a stronger connotation for me.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Small Sacrifice broke my heart, I'll go with Mer for this one.
#6 is a double Acrostic .... Guilty Pleasure maybe?
#7 needs a comma after 'floods' ............ Magnetron? but I've got him for the Chihuahua! Perhaps he wrote them all

 

[Magnetron]

Small Sacrifice broke my heart, I'll go with Mer for this one.
#6 is a double Acrostic .... Guilty Pleasure maybe?
#7 needs a comma after 'floods' ............ Magnetron? but I've got him for the Chihuahua! Perhaps he wrote them all

I've only contributed an older one, as I am quite busy this April.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

I've only contributed an older one, as I am quite busy this April.

With pussies?

 

[Magnetron]

With pussies?

Well, that goes without saying! And cows. And chickens. And writing poems for NaPoWriMo about chickens, cows and pussies of another sort.

 

[GuiltyPleasure]

#6 is a double Acrostic .... Guilty Pleasure maybe?

Not I, but I figured it was yours.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Not I, but I figured it was yours.

You are too clever for your own good!

 

[AlwaysHungry]

Guilty Pleasure who used to be English?

Is this true?

 

[legerdemer]

Small Sacrifice broke my heart, I'll go with Mer for this one.
...

Annie, thanks for the thought but no, I'm not the author of Small Sacrifice.

 

[GuiltyPleasure]

Is this true?

It's a life sentence.

 

[AlwaysHungry]

It's a life sentence.

You would think that they would have a 12 step program or something. But you would have to have some device to silence all those ads on TV with the British announcers.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

You would think that they would have a 12 step program or something. But you would have to have some device to silence all those ads on TV with the British announcers.

What's wrong with British announcers?

 

[AlwaysHungry]

What's wrong with British announcers?

Nothing in particular. There are just an awful lot of them on American TV. Apparently American advertising agencies believe that your average consumer finds a British sales voice more persuasive.