A little Morbid I know, BUT .....

[MADDOG]

OK Laugh if you will, but I'm actually a bit serious here. I want my funeral to be a celebration of my life - a sad occasion, but also one filled with Joy and fun and laughter, because I hope that's the way I made people feel while I was here.

So musically, I haven't really given the specifics a lot of thought, but there will be no hyms, no soft ass "I'm dead" songs. I want music that represented me - the way I lived my life. Fun and carefree.

Now here's the whacky bit, but I'm SOOOO almost entirely serious!

I don't really like the idea of cremation, yet I don't want to be wormfood. So I was thinking, that I'd have my Head removed (including my eyes) and cremated, and sent into space in one of those lipstick sized containers. (My eyes so I can see the Earth from above.)

Then, I want the rest of my body (sewn up of course) shot out of a cannon and into my grave. No shit. What a way to go out!

MADDOG

 

[Jade]

Hopefully this doesn't spoil my lit. rep but...

I am afraid to die.
I still don't have settled beliefs about what happens.
I will edit this post if I think of a funeral song though.

 

[Deb]

Music...

When my grandson died, just short of his second birthday (after a second open-heart surgery), we really had to wing it. There was no way we could have done a 'traditional' service of any kind.

We displayed pictures, including a small photo album of his stay after birth in the NICU and his first surgery. We had some of his favorite toys and foods on the table, and a school project one of my sons had done about Joseph's medical problems and Downs children in general.

At the entrance to the memorial service we had balloons...helium filled in all the colors of a rainbow. Anyone who cared to could write on them with the felt pens we provided, and either take it into the service or leave it in the foyer. After the service most of the people attending joined my daughter and her husband to walk a block to the city park, where the balloons were released in a gray winter sky.

The music...I only remember two songs. I think we had three. Memories Are Made of This, by Dean Martin...one Joseph and I had danced to many times, and The Lion Sleeps Tonight...I have video of him dancing to this one, his favorite.

A few weeks later, my daughter and her husband had a small, private ceremony at the coast. They built a bonfire, shared memories, laughter, and many many tears.

They burned his favorite toy, and my daughter waded into the ocean with Joseph's ashes. Combining different traditions and beliefs, a bottle of beer was poured in the water and some coins were tossed to pay his way to the next world.

As a side note, the funeral home that handled the cremation was wonderful. They only charged $50 for transportation of the body, nothing for the cremation, saying that no young couple should ever have to deal with death related expenses of a child.

They also allowed my daughter and her husband to participate in their own way, washing Joseph's body and dressing him in a hand-made gown my daughter had quickly embroidered. These people, though of different religious beliefs than my eclectic daughter, truly showed much love and understanding, and I am forver grateful.

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

The Zither theme from "The Third Man." And I want the funeral to be in a bombed out building, and everyone to look depressed and Felini-esque and lit from below. And it should be filmed with a tilted camera and sent to iFilm and win third prize in some art house festival. And Max Von Sydow should come up to do the Eulogy, and say nothing for twenty minutes, while everyone nods at how appropriate that is.

 

[Deb]

No, not morbid...

and I apologize for being so long-winded in my previous post.
For those that might be interested, there is a poem, Crossroads, on my web site. Written by my daughter a year after her son died.
It's not morbid either, but do have a box of tissues at hand...

 

[teresafannin]

Morbid?

I have thought about this a lot, because I buried my 17 year old son almost a year ago. We had discussed plans for my funeral some day, never dreamed I would plan his. We made it a celebration of his life, his friends chose the music. We are making a video of his life & music will be "The Dance" by Garth Brooks, "Time of Your Life" by Green Day, "Time Passes By" by Kathy Mattea.When it is my time, I want "Will the Circle Be Unbroken" by the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band, "So It Goes" by John Denver & "Amazing Grace" played by a piper. I am an organ donor so will be cremated,my ashes will be placed next to my son's. I don't think this subject is too morbid, pre-planning insures that things will be done right. Thanks for listening, I hope I don't bum everyone out.

 

[Jade]

Re: Morbid?

I have thought about this a lot, because I buried my 17 year old son almost a year ago. We had discussed plans for my funeral some day, never dreamed I would plan his. We made it a celebration of his life, his friends chose the music. We are making a video of his life & music will be "The Dance" by Garth Brooks, "Time of Your Life" by Green Day, "Time Passes By" by Kathy Mattea.When it is my time, I want "Will the Circle Be Unbroken" by the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band, "So It Goes" by John Denver & "Amazing Grace" played by a piper. I am an organ donor so will be cremated,my ashes will be placed next to my son's. I don't think this subject is too morbid, pre-planning insures that things will be done right. Thanks for listening, I hope I don't bum everyone out.

YOu didn't burn me out.
In fact, when my son died, we couldn't afford the funeral expenses, therefore, no music at all.

However, on his website we have quite a few... among them:
Everything I Own by bread
and Open Arms by Journey

My son was much younger, but losing a child always hurts.
I won't try to compare my grief to yours but if you ever need to talk about it, I am here.

 

[Rand al'Thor]

Out with a bang...

I always try to make people look at me and wonder, "What the FUCK is that guy all about?", so I guess I'll have to find some seriously messed up music...

Rage Against the Machine "Wake Up"
Smashing Pumpkins "Today"
And something a little more serious...
Guns n' Roses "November Rain"

If I were to die and someone put on some shitty tunes, I would have to come back from the dead and kick some ass... My family knows my music, but I wouldn't put it beyond them to send me off with some sad hymns or teary-eyed country song.

Rand al'Thor
The Dragon Reborn

 

[Mortto56]

I think the songs I would like played is,"If Tomorrow Never Comes",by Garth Brooks,and I also would like,"Will the Circle Be Unbroken",by the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band.....But the one song that discribes me best is,"I'm The Only Hell My Mamma Ever Raised,"by Johnny Paycheck....As far as my passing from this great earth,I want to be cremated,and I told my wife & boys,to take my ashes up to the Mackinaw Bridge on the Labor Day walk,and pour me off the bridge....If you haven't walked the Mighty Mac Bridge,it is my most favorite place of all places I have been......And remember this:It's not, if your going to pass,but how and when....Later!!

[Edited by Mortto56 on 07-31-2000 at 11:07 AM]

 

[Rand al'Thor]

HOLY SHIT! I just turned on my MP3 player on my computer... It plays a random list of songs from my hard drive. The first two songs it played were:

Smashing Pumplins "Today"
Rage Against the Machine "Wake Up"

This really freaked me out, since my MP3 list has almost 50 songs... If I die today, I'm going to haunt whoever started this post.

Rand al'Thor
The Dragon Reborn

 

[Jade]

Morning Has Broken (Cat Stevens version)

 

[Hullo_nurse]

Oh My!!

It really is sooooo much easier for your loved ones if you DO talk about what you want done at your funeral/services/memorial. When it is all preplanned and prepaid and written out with very specific instructions, then you know that you have taked a burdon off their shoulders -- they don't have to worry if what they chose to do is what you would have wanted.

I have had many patients do this and the relief the families express is worth the discomfort of doing it ahead of time. (for those that don't know I am a hospice nurse)

I myself am an organ doner and want to be cremated once they take everything they can use. I want a memorial service that celebrates who I was and that makes my loved ones laugh and think good thoughts. I love Metallica and Sarah McLachlan and the soundtrack from the Crow, so the music will come from those sources.

My hubbie and I want to die together, so I can only pray to whoever and whatever will listen that it happens that way.

 

[Nicole]

Thank-you to all that responded to this thread, I honestly didn't expect this many responses.

I have to say that I am overwhelmed by the amount of people that Picked Metallica, as I always seem to get odd responses when I mention that I want them as my funeral music.

They way that I look at it is ... You want the funeral to represent the person that you are farewelling, and Music plays a big part in that.

My reasoning for picking them is that the song that I have picked means alot to me, it has helped me through some tough times, as has most of their music. I also don't think that Pantera would be allowed to be palyed in a Funeral home, as I love the song's Hollow and Cemetery Gates. My parents have both agreed to play this music for me, and they stand by my choice.

I do beleive though that funerals are a way to celebrate the person's passing, and we all need to sit and think about what we would like at our funerals. That way the people that are saying goodbye are saying goodbye to the true you, not the you that someone thinks that you are.

Thank-you again for responding to this thread

 

[Cheyenne]

Too late in the thread to edit my original post, but I wanted to add that I also am an organ donor. If you want to be a donor, tell your family. Sign your cards and let people know of our wishes.

Also, while many of you consider hymns to be sad, make-people-feel-bad music, I think that "I know that My Redeemer Lives" is one of the most joyful and comforting songs I've ever heard! Any tears shed during this song are tears of joy, not sorrow.

...
He lives and grants me daily breath;
He lives, and I shall conquer death;
He lives my mansion to prepare;
He lives to bring me safely there.
...
He lives, all glory to his name!
He lives, my Savior, still the same;
What joy this blest assurance gives;
I know that my Redeemer lives!

 

[MADDOG]

Oh shit... I've got it. The only song that I can think of that makes me cry.

Jeff Buckley - The Last Goodbye.

"This is our last Goodbye,
I hate to feel the love between us die,
But it's over,
Just hear this and then I'll go,
You gave me more to live for,
More than you'll ever know."

It always reminds me of the times I've said goodbye to girlfriends who I still cared about but couldn't be with, but I think it works quite well dead guy wise too.

MADDOG