A Serious Question (don't laugh! )

painted white revised

Just paint them white (revised title)


Dearly beloved, we gather here today

This first painted aisle marker
was once a broom handle.
Your mother broke it
while protecting her brood
from the flying nocturnal mammal,
as his leather wings flapped
silently up to the foyer ceiling.

Girls Girls! Close your door
she shrieked and
whacked it dazed.
One more whap!
and the wood cracked.


to join this man and woman

Handles that mark rows 3, 4, and 5
belonged to Grandmom Schultz.
No one else wanted a dead woman’s brooms,
skin cells and grey hair from brushed wigs
stuck between bristles of
the last sweep.

She would have loved your dress
tiny buttons down the back.
She would have worn her silver moon pin,
diamond star chips hanging by a chain.

in holy matrimony

Row six,
under the white paint you would find
the wood charred black
from the nights
I encouraged the fire to glow
a promise of a warmer morning
for tiny toes.


What God has brought together

You used row 7 and your sister row 8
when she taught you the high school rifle routine
tossing and clicking broom handles
down on the concrete driveway
until your brothers insisted they needed the court.

Row 9
a mop handle sword
retrieved from Nana's work shed.

10
Pop-Pop used to check the level of gas
in the silver tank.

let no man put asunder

Tree becomes handle becomes
becomes

a white painted aisle marker
wild flowers strung with ribbon and tulle

two become one.

mark this row as reserved;
Father of the Bride,
painter of broom handles.
 
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WickedEve said:
After that post, I thought the same thing. House on Cedar is a great title. Now, I have to come up with the poem. lol

still waiting for the house on cedars....
 
Re: Re: They used to carve broom handles, didn't they?

quote:
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Originally posted by Reltne
They used to carve broom handles. A man would go into the woods and select a specific sapling to become a broom handle. On another day it might be a walking stick branch or a spear tree, but today it is a broom stick. He knew when he chose it what it was going to be, and he whittled it with that in mind. After the broom was no longer useful it was often re-broomed, but it was almost always recycled. And it became its use, be it a hoe handle, plant stake or banner pole. My grandfather used to carve handles and he always saved them. I don't carve anymore, but I still save the wood. Who knows, a friend might get married some day. In the meantime they have many uses.
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annaswirls said:
this is beautiful

thank you--

no go write a poem about it
I am serious.

who knew broom handles would be so inspiring :)

okay Reltne where is the poem damn it

:)
 
OMG

Anna, do you realize this poem may be taught in high school literature books in a few years? It's so good.

I like everything about the revised version better except 17 things.

First, I think the addition of a new first line was not an improvement. I loved, in the original, jumping into the italicised wedding ceremony, and had no problem following what the piece was about.

I think the first comma encountered in the poem doesn't need to be there. That was also in the original.

Not sure if "Whap!" needs to be capitalized, but it doesn't really bother me, except that I almost paused to wonder.

If you're fond of the first comma, that I thought didn't belong, put it after "dress." A better idea might be to leave all the commas out altogether. "3, 4, and 5" could be separated by an extra space or two.

"Nanas" is wanting an apostrophe.

The re-working of the final lines of the poem is quite effective.

The final semicolon was a brilliant realization of the necessity of punctuation at that point in the poem, an anticipatory caesura. However, being picky and entirely weird, I would have preferred a dash or a colon.

The other 11 things, I lied about. It's perfect.

Picky and weird, i say; and still it makes me want to weep.

====
And yeah, quite a thread for pondering...
 
Re: OMG

foehn said:
Anna, do you realize this poem may be taught in high school literature books in a few years? It's so good.

I like everything about the revised version better except 17 things.

First, I think the addition of a new first line was not an improvement. I loved, in the original, jumping into the italicised wedding ceremony, and had no problem following what the piece was about.

oops that was supposed to be the new title! thanks!

I think the first comma encountered in the poem doesn't need to be there. That was also in the original.

Not sure if "Whap!" needs to be capitalized, but it doesn't really bother me, except that I almost paused to wonder.

If you're fond of the first comma, that I thought didn't belong, put it after "dress." A better idea might be to leave all the commas out altogether. "3, 4, and 5" could be separated by an extra space or two.

"Nanas" is wanting an apostrophe.

that comma was a vestigal punctatory mark left over from the original, I changed the next line but forgot to take the bugger out

took care of the whap I think the exclamation point does it

I cannot believe I forgot nana's '! (yes I can)




The re-working of the final lines of the poem is quite effective.

The final semicolon was a brilliant realization of the necessity of punctuation at that point in the poem, an anticipatory caesura.

A what? You know I have been known to wash naughty mouths out with soap. I am a lady.

However, being picky and entirely weird, I would have preferred a dash or a colon.

okay how does the em dash go? -- ?

The other 11 things, I lied about. It's perfect.

Picky and weird, i say; and still it makes me want to weep.


you think it might make my Dad weep too? That would be cool We have a Christmas contest on who can get Mom to weep with the overwhelming sentimentality of a gift or note. No one made it this year! Rats!


Thank you so much for taking the time to really look this over. I hope you are getting paid overtime around here.


====
And yeah, quite a thread for pondering...
 
Written some time ago, yet it fits here (as does a short story about a dropped twenty dollar bill and a kiss, but alas, I don't have that one on my hard drive)

Pi in Hades

Perhaps, lost wandering Hades,
the once famed mage Pythagoras
ponders between myth and what is,
"What fine line lies between the indefinite,"
but his thoughts are cut short, "Oh, sir,"
interrupts a small demon, "time for your comeuppance."

"What do you mean, comeuppance?
I do not know they'd taken up torture in Hades."
The demon shrugged, "Just doing my job, sir."
With that said, the demon left Pythagoras
and without warning if such a departure was indefinite
leaving him to consider if was not or is

And so everything is either/or, not or is
plagued by such thoughts became his comeuppance
either to be free or to suffer indefinite
Indeed! Is is either/or. "Hades!"
Such thoughts would grip Pythagoras
Only to be interrupted again, "Oh, sir."

"You toy with me," he'd reply, "for I am no sir."
"But all that you are must remain what is,"
taunted the demon back to Pythagoras,
"for certainly such ideas become your comeuppance."
"Yet, had I such thoughts before I came to Hades?"
he'd ask back, "Why need I define indefinite?"

"Certainly such a task is definitely indefinite."
To which the demon chuckled, "So sure are you, sir?
Then how far to the bounds of Hades?"
The myth past death had become what is,
either that, or simply his comeuppance
The absolute truth would define Pythagoras

Unless the is that is is not Pythagoras
All that is is either/or, definite or indefinite
Defined straight out of existence, "Indeed, comeuppance!"
Unless, of course, the torture is..."Oh, sir?"
"Oh, bother, bugger, and drats is what it is.
Thus I reside in what you call Hades."

And so in Hades did reside Pythagoras
"Is what is not so definitely indefinite?"
"Oh, sir, it's time for your comeuppance."
 
My Daddy was called Pop Pop. He saved everything. Fixed everything. Very creative.

Santa brought our Christmas tree and we set the ornament boxes out along with the milk and cookies. Santa used his magic and popped the ornaments on to the trees. (I think he's kin to Mary Poppins). Anyway, one year 'Santa' waited too long to get the perfect tree. So he bought two. He trimmed the first up a bit. Cut the best branches off the other. Drilled holes in the good one and inserted the branches in the gaps. It was the prettiest tree we'd ever had.

I don't know why I added this. There are no brooms in this story.
But, anyway...
 
BooMerengue said:
My Daddy was called Pop Pop. He saved everything. Fixed everything. Very creative.

Santa brought our Christmas tree and we set the ornament boxes out along with the milk and cookies. Santa used his magic and popped the ornaments on to the trees. (I think he's kin to Mary Poppins). Anyway, one year 'Santa' waited too long to get the perfect tree. So he bought two. He trimmed the first up a bit. Cut the best branches off the other. Drilled holes in the good one and inserted the branches in the gaps. It was the prettiest tree we'd ever had.

I don't know why I added this. There are no brooms in this story.
But, anyway...

okay missy, I want a poem out of this story as well!

oh I think we might be related.

that kind of man is a dying breed, sniff sniff

but then again, so is the kind of woman who sews her kids clothes and bakes bread and two kinds of veggies nightly.
 
em dash

Anna, make the em dash with (Ctrl + Alt + [numeric keypad minus]) in Word. It copies into postings here, I think.

The en dash is (Ctrl + numeric keypad minus).

There's probably a more direct way to do it...

I'll try to get to other postings later... "no time! no time!"

— — — (em dashes copied from Word)

– – – (en dashes copied from Word)

- - - (hyphens)

Edited to include more information: To type em and en dashes in vb code, use (without quotes) "[ampersand]mdash;" and "[ampersand]ndash;" -- just make sure to start with ampersand and end with semicolon.

Em dash: —
En dash: –

~
 
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*giggles*

I laughed...I couldn't help it...
In fact, I am still. No where else in the world would you find such an eclectic group of writers discussing broom handles.

On quite the same note, my Grand mere collected buttons. Upon her parting, may she rest in peace, it was found that four rooms in her house were filled with buttons. Opening the storm doors to the basement, we were floored to find it was filled to the cieling. They are still being counted, even after reaching seven thousand from ONE room. I am thinking she may have come close to a guiness record.

Thank you all, friends, for the guidance, and laughter, that you bring.
 
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