Abuse: is there such a thing in the 'lifestyle'?

[h_i_s]

Are we all reading the same thread here?

Who on this thread has said that they think Castlerealm doesn't portray BDSM in a good light?

Who said they were shameful?

Who said they look down upon anyone who lives a Castlerealm's lifestyle?

Where anyone has made those statements or offered those *opinions*?

Misquote or manipulated, twisted, and self-serving interpretation?

Can we get a quote on that please??

 

[h_i_s]

For me, Castlerealm portrays the ideal, not the reality. If you follow even just their list of what a Dominant MUST be, it describes a super being who is prefect, not a human who has their own set of realities, feelings, and imperfections. It is a myth and as much as I think F is my own personal demigod of the D/s SM variety, he is not perfect, but he is perfect for me. I can live with that quite nicely. The problem I find with such sites is they give and promote one person/couples/relationships perspective as if it is law, not a range of ideas and realities.

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/103/311516209_daa8a55cdc_t.jpg Catalina

i'll agree to that.
i'll raise you one too.

i'll add that the *submission is a gift* crap makes me want to puke.

 

[lil_slave_rose]

For me, Castlerealm portrays the ideal, not the reality. If you follow even just their list of what a Dominant MUST be, it describes a super being who is prefect, not a human who has their own set of realities, feelings, and imperfections. It is a myth and as much as I think F is my own personal demigod of the D/s SM variety, he is not perfect, but he is perfect for me. I can live with that quite nicely. The problem I find with such sites is they give and promote one person/couples/relationships perspective as if it is law, not a range of ideas and realities.

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/103/311516209_daa8a55cdc_t.jpg Catalina

*shrugs* i loved that site, not for the definition of what a 'true' Dom is, but just because it has ALOT of good articles that interested me, am i going to take everything it says and apply it to my life? of course not, but it is a good resource and has quite a few good articles. and of course it's going to take a couple's perspective because it is a site that was made by one particular couple. i don't think that means they are saying it HAS to be done this way or that...it gives information and such..that's all.....and like i said..i learned alot from that site and many others

 

[lil_slave_rose]

i'll agree to that.
i'll raise you one too.

i'll add that the *submission is a gift* crap makes me want to puke.

these are exactly the comments i'm talking about that make it sound 'subbier than thou' i see that it's your opinion, but why be so negative about the way someone else feels about their submission, and yes, i do feel submission is a gift. we are all different. as far as your earlier post about twisting posts and whatnot, no of course no one has ever came straight out and said if you live the castlerealm lifestyle then it's wrong, but it's been implied that it's not the 'best' or the 'right' way. and i'm not talking about in THIS thread. and i'm not going to argue, which seems to be what you'd like to do, i'm also not going to go find every quote out of all the threads about castlerealm. that is not what this thread is about so i'm done hijacking my own thread.

 

[callinectes]

Who on this thread has said that they think Castlerealm doesn't portray BDSM in a good light?

Who said they were shameful?

Who said they look down upon anyone who lives a Castlerealm's lifestyle?

Where anyone has made those statements or offered those *opinions*?

Misquote or manipulated, twisted, and self-serving interpretation?

Can we get a quote on that please??

It's not just this thread. Anytime Castlerealm is mentioned there is eyerolling. I made the mistake of linking to an article there once..there was a fair amount of eyerolling and snickering associated with it. To be fair, I didn't take notice of the ideals being promoted in the essay (and some of it was BS) as I was more interested in the methodology of the activity being discussed. So, I may be hypersensitive because I felt like an ass for linking to it.

Now that I have a little bit of real experience under my belt, I agree that a lot of what is promoted there is very romanticized, unrealistic, and idealized.
But when you are newly exploring and don't know what reality is, it seems like a great site.

 

[Netzach]

Sheesh, I feel like I should have my card revoked or something. I read tons of stuff at CastleRealm when I first starting exploring my submissive side and learning about these types of relationships. When the internet is one's *only* source of information (oftentimes due to circumstances beyond one's control) you are eventually going to end up there. Most google searches on BDSM and D/s subject matter are going to come back with Castlerealm within the top 10 hits.

I'm so happy for everyone that was born with an internal BDSM BS detector. Some us weren't that fortunate.

I don't find CS to be bullshit, I was just referred there by people as though this were the DEFINITIVE BEST EVER resource for D/s and the final arbiter as to how a caring, correct, and "good" Dom behaves and if someone doesn't he's a poser watch out.

I didn't identify with the femsub/MDom slant. (and saying insert your gender is NOT inclusivity, sorry.)

I didn't identify with the idea that because I privilege my pleasure over the idea of a litany of responsibilities I'm a dangerous Top and a bad person.

Sorry. Maybe people don't cram this site down one another's throats like they did in the late 90's.

 

[lil_slave_rose]

It's not just this thread. Anytime Castlerealm is mentioned there is eyerolling. I made the mistake of linking to an article there once..there was a fair amount of eyerolling and snickering associated with it. To be fair, I didn't take notice of the ideals being promoted in the essay (and some of it was BS) as I was more interested in the methodology of the activity being discussed. So, I may be hypersensitive because I felt like an ass for linking to it.

Now that I have a little bit of real experience under my belt, I agree that a lot of what is promoted there is very romanticized, unrealistic, and idealized.
But when you are newly exploring and don't know what reality is, it seems like a great site.

i don't even think that is 'unrealistic' that stuff on that site is the way that Him and His jade lived their life, to say it's 'unrealistic' is again, saying, their lifestyle is unrealistic, honestly, in alot of the way they felt about themselves and this lifestyle is alot of the way Master and i live also. not completely, no, but the whole 'loving/nurturing Dominant' i don't think it's 'romanticized, unrealistic, or idealized'. i think it's the way He and Jade lived their lives which is different than alot, but that's ok. it doesn't make it any less valid. and that was my point about the way 'castlerealm' gets treated around here all the time...lots of eye rolling usually. and i think alot of us forget that when we give our opinions and such, we are giving them from the way WE live this lifestyle and that not everyone lives it the same way, so how is that NOT the same as those websites??

 

[h_i_s]

these are exactly the comments i'm talking about that make it sound 'subbier than thou' i see that it's your opinion, but why be so negative about the way someone else feels about their submission, and yes, i do feel submission is a gift. we are all different. as far as your earlier post about twisting posts and whatnot, no of course no one has ever came straight out and said if you live the castlerealm lifestyle then it's wrong, but it's been implied that it's not the 'best' or the 'right' way. and i'm not talking about in THIS thread. and i'm not going to argue, which seems to be what you'd like to do, i'm also not going to go find every quote out of all the threads about castlerealm. that is not what this thread is about so i'm done hijacking my own thread.

i have a right to my opinion just as you have to your's.
Either you need to grow thicker skin, stand by your own words and stop the dramatic whining already, get the fuck over it and shut your god damned hole ........ or PUT ME ON YOUR IGNORE.

It's not my style to beat around the bush.
No offense, and no apologies offered.

Disclaimer: No. i'm not having a bad day. i'm just doing my part in keeping it real.

 

[lil_slave_rose]

I don't find CS to be bullshit, I was just referred there by people as though this were the DEFINITIVE BEST EVER resource for D/s and the final arbiter as to how a caring, correct, and "good" Dom behaves and if someone doesn't he's a poser watch out.

I didn't identify with the femsub/MDom slant. (and saying insert your gender is NOT inclusivity, sorry.)

I didn't identify with the idea that because I privilege my pleasure over the idea of a litany of responsibilities I'm a dangerous Top and a bad person.

Sorry. Maybe people don't cram this site down one another's throats like they did in the late 90's.

i do agree netz, BUT, every time someone asks for advice about the lifestyle someone sends them to some website, not just castlerealm. i think it's the point that you read it, take what you want out of it and leave the rest. it's a resource, no more, no less..and way that the owners of that site lived their life. if i took everything i read about the lifestyle and applied to my own life as the 'only' way i'd be one messed up and confused lil subbie *grins*

 

[lil_slave_rose]

i have a right to my opinion just as you have to your's.
Either you need to grow thicker skin, stand by your own words and stop the dramatic whining already, get the fuck over it and shut your god damned hole ........ or PUT ME ON YOUR IGNORE.

It's not my style to beat around the bush.
No offense, and no apologies offered.

Disclaimer: No. i'm not having a bad day. i'm just doing my part in keeping it real.

that was pretty mature personal attacks say alot about a person....i never said you weren't entitled to your opinion, i simply asked why be so negative. as for 'dramatic whining' re-read your post. i think your post will speak for itself. i did not insult you, nor did i personally attack you call you names or tell you to shut up...but i will say, maybe you need to grow up .have a great day

 

[callinectes]

i don't even think that is 'unrealistic' that stuff on that site is the way that Him and His jade lived their life, to say it's 'unrealistic' is again, saying, their lifestyle is unrealistic, honestly, in alot of the way they felt about themselves and this lifestyle is alot of the way Master and i live also. not completely, no, but the whole 'loving/nurturing Dominant' i don't think it's 'romanticized, unrealistic, or idealized'. i think it's the way He and Jade lived their lives which is different than alot, but that's ok. it doesn't make it any less valid. and that was my point about the way 'castlerealm' gets treated around here all the time...lots of eye rolling usually. and i think alot of us forget that when we give our opinions and such, we are giving them from the way WE live this lifestyle and that not everyone lives it the same way, so how is that NOT the same as those websites??

I bolded a part of your post to make my point..you and I are on the same page on this, just different paragraphs. My point was many of the essays there do contain strong elements of "this is the only way". I'm not saying their relationship was unrealistic...obviously it wasn't.

 

[lil_slave_rose]

I bolded a part of your post to make my point..you and I are on the same page on this, just different paragraphs. My point was many of the essays there do contain strong elements of "this is the only way". I'm not saying their relationship was unrealistic...obviously it wasn't.

right..agreed completely we are now on the same page and the same paragraph

 

[h_i_s]

It's not just this thread. Anytime Castlerealm is mentioned there is eyerolling. I made the mistake of linking to an article there once..there was a fair amount of eyerolling and snickering associated with it. To be fair, I didn't take notice of the ideals being promoted in the essay (and some of it was BS) as I was more interested in the methodology of the activity being discussed. So, I may be hypersensitive because I felt like an ass for linking to it.

Now that I have a little bit of real experience under my belt, I agree that a lot of what is promoted there is very romanticized, unrealistic, and idealized.
But when you are newly exploring and don't know what reality is, it seems like a great site.

i understood where you were coming from in your posts and how you may have arrived at your opinions here regarding the Castlerealm site ... especially since i don't see you getting your back up over others expressing *their opinions*.

Prior to taking my curiosities offline and prior to having actually lived more than a bit of what that site attempts to illustrate.... i allowed much of what is presented as reality on CastleRealm to paint my world pink too.
Found out after the fact that my Master seees all that pink crap to be too foo-foo (His term for 'over the top nauseating' aka 'over done and pukish') prefers green... heh.

P.S. i like the av ... it made me look twice.

 

[h_i_s]

these are exactly the comments i'm talking about that make it sound 'subbier than thou' i see that it's your opinion, but why be so negative about the way someone else feels about their submission, and yes, i do feel submission is a gift. we are all different. as far as your earlier post about twisting posts and whatnot, no of course no one has ever came straight out and said if you live the castlerealm lifestyle then it's wrong, but it's been implied that it's not the 'best' or the 'right' way. and i'm not talking about in THIS thread. and i'm not going to argue, which seems to be what you'd like to do, i'm also not going to go find every quote out of all the threads about castlerealm. that is not what this thread is about so i'm done hijacking my own thread.

i'm not about to walk on egg shells or hold back my opinion based on the possibility that it might offend someone. Just imagine everyone posting on this forum following that rule of thumb.

i believe in that saying: You can't please everyone.

i've been on these boards long enough to recognize a cheap shot when i see one. On that note, i appreciate the direct approach. If you feel the need to call me a name, have the balls (or honesty at least) to do it in the open and to my face, rosey.

It's a funny thing when one person points a finger at another and calls their level of maturity to judgement, while beating around the bush rather than stepping up to the plate and offering a more direct method of insult. IE: the subbier than thou comments

Pot. Kettle. Black.



i'm not a sub. We eat subs for lunch here.

i'm OWNED property... aka a slave.

If you can't remember my prefered *label* it would be more mature to reply to me by name.

 

[lil_slave_rose]

i'm not about to walk on egg shells or hold back my opinion based on the possibility that it might offend someone. Just imagine everyone posting on this forum following that rule of thumb.

i believe in that saying: You can't please everyone.

i've been on these boards long enough to recognize a cheap shot when i see one. On that note, i appreciate the direct approach. If you feel the need to call me a name, have the balls (or honesty at least) to do it in the open and to my face, rosey.

It's a funny thing when one person points a finger at another and calls their level of maturity to judgement, while beating around the bush rather than stepping up to the plate and offering a more direct method of insult. IE: the subbier than thou comments

Pot. Kettle. Black.



i'm not a sub. We eat subs for lunch here.

i'm OWNED property... aka a slave.

If you can't remember my prefered *label* it would be more mature to reply to me by name.

first of all, i was not insulting you, none of my posts were meant as an insult..again as in another thread, you have read my post wrong and are now attacking me. i'm not one to call anyone names and i was not speaknig of YOU specifically when i mentioned the 'subbier than thou' comment i was saying it's negative comments like that that make some on this board seem to be 'subbier than thou' i made no 'cheap shots' at you and for you taking it that i did, i'm sorry.

i am not a confrontational person. i simply asked why you were so negative. i never said you had to walk on egg shells as to not offend anyone, but there is a certain amount of respect that i think should be maintained, but apparently (and i'm getting this not just from this thread but another thread where you have attacked me) that you have something personal against me, so we are going to get nowhere with our discussion because you will always find something to attack me for.

as for 'calling your level of maturity to judgement' again, i believe your previous post speaks for what i meant. anytime you have to resort to name calling, or saying 'shut your god damned hole' that shows a lack of being able to maturely discuss a subject. as for you not being a 'sub' well then apply your own label, there are entirely too many people on this board i am not going to memorize whether they are 'slave' or 'submissive' and i dont' do the PYL/pyl either as i think it's silly. do you NOT see where this is petty BS to attack me about??

it's a flippin label so as you said, get over it and if you'd stop finding things in my words and twisting them to mean what you'd like them to IE: that i took a 'cheap shot' at you, maybe you'd see i was just trying to discuss the subject the same as everyone else. me and callinectes said the same thing on the subject yet you chose me to attack. not sure what you're personal problem is with me, but i've never been rude to you, nor have i ever insulted you, so i'd appreciate it if you didn't insult me also. i like discussion. cat and i always have good discussions, though alot of times we don't agree, we disagree with respect, it's called 'debating' or discussing. there is no need for personal attacks, it shows weakness and says alot about you.

 

[A Desert Rose]

i'm not about to walk on egg shells or hold back my opinion based on the possibility that it might offend someone. Just imagine everyone posting on this forum following that rule of thumb.

i believe in that saying: You can't please everyone.

i've been on these boards long enough to recognize a cheap shot when i see one. On that note, i appreciate the direct approach. If you feel the need to call me a name, have the balls (or honesty at least) to do it in the open and to my face, rosey.

It's a funny thing when one person points a finger at another and calls their level of maturity to judgement, while beating around the bush rather than stepping up to the plate and offering a more direct method of insult. IE: the subbier than thou comments

Pot. Kettle. Black.



i'm not a sub. We eat subs for lunch here.

i'm OWNED property... aka a slave.

If you can't remember my prefered *label* it would be more mature to reply to me by name.

aaaaaaaaahahahahahahaha!!!!

this whole post is gooooood.

In regard to this though: i'm not about to walk on egg shells or hold back my opinion based on the possibility that it might offend someone. Just imagine everyone posting on this forum following that rule of thumb.

we are the most PC group of people on any forum I've read. Aside from your posts and a couple of other folks here, no one wants to say the tough stuff because it will offend people. (Where is cym???)

In regards to eating subs for lunch... I'll give you heartburn and I'm not worth your time. Please, don't take any bites outta me, ok? ;-D

 

[h_i_s]

first of all, i was not insulting you, none of my posts were meant as an insult..again as in another thread, you have read my post wrong and are now attacking me. i'm not one to call anyone names and i was not speaknig of YOU specifically when i mentioned the 'subbier than thou' comment i was saying it's negative comments like that that make some on this board seem to be 'subbier than thou' i made no 'cheap shots' at you and for you taking it that i did, i'm sorry.

i am not a confrontational person. i simply asked why you were so negative. i never said you had to walk on egg shells as to not offend anyone, but there is a certain amount of respect that i think should be maintained, but apparently (and i'm getting this not just from this thread but another thread where you have attacked me) that you have something personal against me, so we are going to get nowhere with our discussion because you will always find something to attack me for.

as for 'calling your level of maturity to judgement' again, i believe your previous post speaks for what i meant. anytime you have to resort to name calling, or saying 'shut your god damned hole' that shows a lack of being able to maturely discuss a subject. as for you not being a 'sub' well then apply your own label, there are entirely too many people on this board i am not going to memorize whether they are 'slave' or 'submissive' and i dont' do the PYL/pyl either as i think it's silly. do you NOT see where this is petty BS to attack me about??

it's a flippin label so as you said, get over it and if you'd stop finding things in my words and twisting them to mean what you'd like them to IE: that i took a 'cheap shot' at you, maybe you'd see i was just trying to discuss the subject the same as everyone else. me and callinectes said the same thing on the subject yet you chose me to attack. not sure what you're personal problem is with me, but i've never been rude to you, nor have i ever insulted you, so i'd appreciate it if you didn't insult me also. i like discussion. cat and i always have good discussions, though alot of times we don't agree, we disagree with respect, it's called 'debating' or discussing. there is no need for personal attacks, it shows weakness and says alot about you.

Call it what you want.
It's no different than the last thread that you refer to.
The words and quotes are there for anyone to read.
They are written in English.
i don't have to twist anything.
You slip your cheap shots in and blubber like a dumbass when given a taste of your own medicine.
You are full of shit.
This site and it's members are generally big on freedom of speech.
When your shit is directed at me or my posts, i'm not obligated to look the other way.
i guess i am just the only one here who is willing to exercise her freedom and call you on it.

You need to open your mind, and follow your own advice.

 

[h_i_s]

aaaaaaaaahahahahahahaha!!!!

this whole post is gooooood.

In regard to this though: i'm not about to walk on egg shells or hold back my opinion based on the possibility that it might offend someone. Just imagine everyone posting on this forum following that rule of thumb.

we are the most PC group of people on any forum I've read. Aside from your posts and a couple of other folks here, no one wants to say the tough stuff because it will offend people. (Where is cym???)

In regards to eating subs for lunch... I'll give you heartburn and I'm not worth your time. Please, don't take any bites outta me, ok? ;-D

i happen to really like cym .... heh.
Wow. i wasn't looking for compliments. i've always liked your posts too, ADR, so i promise not to bite....


... too hard. heh..

 

[lil_slave_rose]

ridiculous. why is it so many on here feel it's necessary to be so snarky. it's not about 'telling it how it is' it's about being rude and disrespectful. it's like no one can have an actual conversation because someone is going to start insulting. actually i can't say it's most, it is a few that are like that, but i don't understand it. i've seen so many threads get ripped to shreds because of this and i think it's just plain silly. sheesh this was a discussion, a good one at that, and then the insults start.

ah well...it doesn't matter, i'm done with the arguments as this is not what i intended for this thread.....thanks to everyone who has given me good discussion and debate, this thread has defiantly given me alot to think about and has made me look at different views and such so it wasn't a waste. and i do hope others will continue to share their views on this and that the 'bickering' will not shut the thread down.....

 

[A Desert Rose]

i happen to really like cym .... heh.
Wow. i wasn't looking for compliments. i've always liked your posts too, ADR, so i promise not to bite....


... too hard. heh..

Like you, I liked her posts and I miss Cym.



Are we the only 2 who see backpeddling for what it is, sinn? Apparently so... ;-)

 

[lil_slave_rose]

Call it what you want.
It's no different than the last thread that you refer to.
The words and quotes are there for anyone to read.
They are written in English.
i don't have to twist anything.
You slip your cheap shots in and blubber like a dumbass when given a taste of your own medicine.
You are full of shit.
This site and it's members are generally big on freedom of speech.
When your shit is directed at me or my posts, i'm not obligated to look the other way.
i guess i am just the only one here who is willing to exercise her freedom and call you on it.

You need to open your mind, and follow your own advice.

no, dear sinn, i believe it's YOU who needs to open your mind and see that not every comment i make means anything other than exactly what i say. you didn't call me on anything other than what you THOUGHT my words meant....i am not a dumbass and i'm not full of shit....so save your insulting words for smoeone else. i've never insulted you, i've never called you names, yet you continue to do so to me. i've tried to explain myself in both threads and still you choose to resort to name calling..that's not telling it how it is, or calling me out, that's being silly and childish.....and i'm sure i am far from the only one seeing it this way

 

[A Desert Rose]

Some people 'are in your face' snarky (what a goofy word) and some people are coy and demurely snarky.

But snarky is snarky, don't be confused and don't try to mislead others.

 

[callinectes]

i understood where you were coming from in your posts and how you may have arrived at your opinions here regarding the Castlerealm site ... especially since i don't see you getting your back up over others expressing *their opinions*.

Prior to taking my curiosities offline and prior to having actually lived more than a bit of what that site attempts to illustrate.... i allowed much of what is presented as reality on CastleRealm to paint my world pink too.
Found out after the fact that my Master seees all that pink crap to be too foo-foo (His term for 'over the top nauseating' aka 'over done and pukish') prefers green... heh.

P.S. i like the av ... it made me look twice.

Thanks Sinn0cent1. Glad to know I wasn't the only one looking through pink-colored glasses. LOL

That's a rather fetching av you have yourself.

 

[callinectes]

I don't find CS to be bullshit, I was just referred there by people as though this were the DEFINITIVE BEST EVER resource for D/s and the final arbiter as to how a caring, correct, and "good" Dom behaves and if someone doesn't he's a poser watch out.

I didn't identify with the femsub/MDom slant. (and saying insert your gender is NOT inclusivity, sorry.)

I didn't identify with the idea that because I privilege my pleasure over the idea of a litany of responsibilities I'm a dangerous Top and a bad person.

Sorry. Maybe people don't cram this site down one another's throats like they did in the late 90's.

I hear ya on all counts.

 

[h_i_s]

ridiculous. why is it so many on here feel it's necessary to be so snarky. it's not about 'telling it how it is' it's about being rude and disrespectful. it's like no one can have an actual conversation because someone is going to start insulting. actually i can't say it's most, it is a few that are like that, but i don't understand it. i've seen so many threads get ripped to shreds because of this and i think it's just plain silly. sheesh this was a discussion, a good one at that, and then the insults start.

ah well...it doesn't matter, i'm done with the arguments as this is not what i intended for this thread.....thanks to everyone who has given me good discussion and debate, this thread has defiantly given me alot to think about and has made me look at different views and such so it wasn't a waste. and i do hope others will continue to share their views on this and that the 'bickering' will not shut the thread down.....

Do you realize how simple minded and stupid every point of that entire post sounds?

Note: Of course i didn't call 'you' stupid there. It's just your comments i refer to ........ so you shouldn't feel that it is a personal attack. i'm just expressing my opinion like anyone else around here, and so of course, you shouldn't feel offended. You also shouldn't take issue with someone else dictating how you should feel.

To say that you had no intention of arguing, it takes two. How many times will you say that you are done, before you stick by your claim rather than cheapening it further?