The Verdict
Flagg, thanks for the compliment. I've been trying to write, but whenever I get to describing sex scenes, it just sounds really flaky (too raw, I guess) or flat out boring (when words weigh too much for their own good...). Work in progress - I hope to someday contribute something of worth. As far as going out and dating - I've thought about it, but even that would be treason as far as my conscience is concerned.
Ginger, I don't have such friends, and can't afford counseling, but your advice is well heeded. Both our families, it seems, have done much to tarnish our self-esteem... But the scars, they heal... Right now, my best counsel is the girl I'd risk losing. That alone says alot.
Jade, how could I hate you for your post? If anything, it made me better appreciate my own situation. "I told my husband the very next day and it destroyed his world." I think it would do much the same to her. I thank you for sharing - and wish you all the best. Be strong - love will find a way. (Cheeeeezie truth - but truth nonetheless)
Roger, you and I are the same guy (no offense), only ten years apart (idem). Your advice slapped me upside the head and knocked some sense into me. Don't get me wrong, the internal debate festers: I know there wouldn't be any love, I know there wouldn't be any genuine closeness, but wasn't that first lay with someone else really something? *sigh*
But the bottom line was nailed by both you and Endlessly: Cheating is high treason towards a person we deeply care for (love or no love). It destroys a part of them, and in doing so, undermines a part of us (the part we might call self-respect). Any moral person would refuse such a choice out of compassion for his or her mate (if for no other reason). And for this reason, I will resist, until the day comes when I must trade one lifestyle for the other.
For now, I'd rather stick with best-friend/playmate/partner-in-life's-ongoing-struggle than jump in the sack with every Britney Spears-looking groopie who throws her undies at me. Granted, the temptation doesn't fade, but I have a better clue as to where it might lead. And so long as the relationship I now enjoy remains a plus in my life, I don't see myself taking the low road.
And hey, you never know - should the fires of hell rage up my loins and overpower my common sense, I'll be sure to follow your advice, best phrased by Payne: "While neither message will be welcomed with confetti and streamers, it's better to be bruised than shattered. (...) After guiltily confessing, I know that there is something far worse: the look of distrust, disillusionment, shock, and fear in his eyes." I can never let that happen. Ever.
Thank you all for your wisdom. Respect - to all on-board.
M.
P.S. Fallen Angel and Gatherer: Great analogies. As a propos as they come.
Flagg, thanks for the compliment. I've been trying to write, but whenever I get to describing sex scenes, it just sounds really flaky (too raw, I guess) or flat out boring (when words weigh too much for their own good...). Work in progress - I hope to someday contribute something of worth. As far as going out and dating - I've thought about it, but even that would be treason as far as my conscience is concerned.
Ginger, I don't have such friends, and can't afford counseling, but your advice is well heeded. Both our families, it seems, have done much to tarnish our self-esteem... But the scars, they heal... Right now, my best counsel is the girl I'd risk losing. That alone says alot.
Jade, how could I hate you for your post? If anything, it made me better appreciate my own situation. "I told my husband the very next day and it destroyed his world." I think it would do much the same to her. I thank you for sharing - and wish you all the best. Be strong - love will find a way. (Cheeeeezie truth - but truth nonetheless)
Roger, you and I are the same guy (no offense), only ten years apart (idem). Your advice slapped me upside the head and knocked some sense into me. Don't get me wrong, the internal debate festers: I know there wouldn't be any love, I know there wouldn't be any genuine closeness, but wasn't that first lay with someone else really something? *sigh*
But the bottom line was nailed by both you and Endlessly: Cheating is high treason towards a person we deeply care for (love or no love). It destroys a part of them, and in doing so, undermines a part of us (the part we might call self-respect). Any moral person would refuse such a choice out of compassion for his or her mate (if for no other reason). And for this reason, I will resist, until the day comes when I must trade one lifestyle for the other.
For now, I'd rather stick with best-friend/playmate/partner-in-life's-ongoing-struggle than jump in the sack with every Britney Spears-looking groopie who throws her undies at me. Granted, the temptation doesn't fade, but I have a better clue as to where it might lead. And so long as the relationship I now enjoy remains a plus in my life, I don't see myself taking the low road.
And hey, you never know - should the fires of hell rage up my loins and overpower my common sense, I'll be sure to follow your advice, best phrased by Payne: "While neither message will be welcomed with confetti and streamers, it's better to be bruised than shattered. (...) After guiltily confessing, I know that there is something far worse: the look of distrust, disillusionment, shock, and fear in his eyes." I can never let that happen. Ever.
Thank you all for your wisdom. Respect - to all on-board.
M.
P.S. Fallen Angel and Gatherer: Great analogies. As a propos as they come.
