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Leave yourself with a way back home. You never know!
Age difference and distance
- Thread starter Xkitten83X
- Start date
Im in love... not stupid. Maybe to understand youd have to know me. Im not a little girl.
I thought love was stupidity...to understand anyone you have to know them...and I was just offering a bit of friendly advice, speaking to you as an adult, and not treating you like a little girl...
I thought love was stupidity...to understand anyone you have to know them...and I was just offering a bit of friendly advice, speaking to you as an adult, and not treating you like a little girl...
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Generally age should not be a big thing between two responsible, mature adults. The problem I have here, Jenna, is that he is an adult and you are not. Not even close. You stated that you feel like you know him as well as you know yourself. Not even possible girl. Especially long distance. I don't think that your prince is mature enough to deal with women his own age so he goes after kids. Avoid this guy like you would antrax.
worrying about Jenna??
All of you have been very concerned about Jenna's wellbeing...At a firing range Jenna scores about a 98%....is anyone out there worried about me???
everyone shows great concern and they have their right to an opinion but, there is no one out there that knows either of us more than we know each other
look forward to wedding pics posted soon
All of you have been very concerned about Jenna's wellbeing...At a firing range Jenna scores about a 98%....is anyone out there worried about me???
everyone shows great concern and they have their right to an opinion but, there is no one out there that knows either of us more than we know each other
look forward to wedding pics posted soon
Re: Great advice
i do agree with you that he does give some good advice but he also talks as if he would gladly help jenna out if it didn't work between us...as jenna say...sounds like he wants to get into my pants...
he also makes this comment that most men should take offense too.....' Most men by my age who sleep with 18 year old girls (I don't anymore but probably would if the opportunity were to arise) would kick a puppy if it was in their way and would rather lose a thumb to share something.'
I just hope that your man is not like him
i will take care of jenna for the love i feel for her...NOT for the sex
JennyOmanHill said:Just wanted to commend Mr.Fla on his excellent suggestions and commentary. I am much older than you are, Xkitten, and will be taking these same precautions when my LDR and I actually meet.
All the best for both of you, and please let your Lit friends know how it goes!
i do agree with you that he does give some good advice but he also talks as if he would gladly help jenna out if it didn't work between us...as jenna say...sounds like he wants to get into my pants...
he also makes this comment that most men should take offense too.....' Most men by my age who sleep with 18 year old girls (I don't anymore but probably would if the opportunity were to arise) would kick a puppy if it was in their way and would rather lose a thumb to share something.'
I just hope that your man is not like him
i will take care of jenna for the love i feel for her...NOT for the sex
Xkitten83X
Virgin
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- Dec 5, 2001
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- 23
Honestly
Everyone has a right to their own opinion. But you dont know me well enough to call me a child. Unless you have a doctorate in psychiatry I dont want to hear it. As far as life experience goes Ive been through more than most. I think that at this point I deserve my chance at happyness and Im going to take it. I know what the risks are, and its worth it. If all you do is sit in front of a computer all day and comment on other peoples lives then your not living. I thank everyone for the advice, their opinions, and all of the positive comments I have gotten. I also appreciate the concern. But how can you make a statement about someones charator like that... after not having even talked to them and then state that you just cant know someone that well without it being in person? A bit of a contradiction isnt it?
Everyone has a right to their own opinion. But you dont know me well enough to call me a child. Unless you have a doctorate in psychiatry I dont want to hear it. As far as life experience goes Ive been through more than most. I think that at this point I deserve my chance at happyness and Im going to take it. I know what the risks are, and its worth it. If all you do is sit in front of a computer all day and comment on other peoples lives then your not living. I thank everyone for the advice, their opinions, and all of the positive comments I have gotten. I also appreciate the concern. But how can you make a statement about someones charator like that... after not having even talked to them and then state that you just cant know someone that well without it being in person? A bit of a contradiction isnt it?
JennyOmanHill
trying hard to be mindful
- Joined
- Nov 12, 2001
- Posts
- 11,151
Wishing you the best
Most of these posters are simply speaking from experiences, as they all don't suceed. Jenna... in your opening of this thread, you did ask for our opinions. I've learned the hard way to be careful what you wish for.
I wish nothing but the best for you both, Rick and Jenna.
Each LDR is a different situation. My man and I are closer in age (late mid/late 40s) and the idea of meeting online is something completely foreign to us. I look forward to hearing about your meeting; it won't be easy for any of us, but the more success stories I hear about boosts my sometimes sagging spirits.pierced1 said:
Most of these posters are simply speaking from experiences, as they all don't suceed. Jenna... in your opening of this thread, you did ask for our opinions. I've learned the hard way to be careful what you wish for.
I wish nothing but the best for you both, Rick and Jenna.
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Being attacked personally was not the intention. Nor did I ever express a desire to gladly fill in the role, something that I suggest you address with your own personal self esteem.
Furthermore, my address to puppies and thumbs was metaphorical. After hearing your obvious feelings towards me, someone you don't know, but who did offer HONEST blunt advice that could be taken or left, I would have to concur with the unregistered guest who stated that you should be avoided like anthrax.
You are a grown man, older than I am in fact, and you should know better. You either have not developmentally matured to a point where you feel comfortable with people offering honest, sound advice to people you propose to care about, or you are in fact the aforementioned creep. Furthermore the last time I slept with someone who was 18, I was 24, that was five years ago. I have never looked at age as a qualifying criteria for datability. Personal emotional security, intelligence and a kinky sexual drive are more what I prefer.
You both truly sound like a very unique pair, and each individually, though I hope to be wrong, are headed for your own special dose of reality, however I fear that Jenna is wagering far more than you sir.
In my experience I have met very few 18 year olds capable of true self sufficiency, emotionally, financially and otherwise. Unless one is forced to, it is rather difficult to achieve at that age, though possible, and true vision of the reality of the world. Furthermore, this young lady has self professed issues in her past, which I believe you to be taking advantage of.
Your opinion of me matters not, I personally am only responding to show your young companion how an adult addresses percieved threats or attacks.
It is a pretty strong belief that affection can develop but no true love can exist in a non personal relationship. The odd factor out is the physical interaction between people. Even Charlie Manson has pen pals, but you wouldn't want to have him over for dinner from what I hear.
I don't frown upon meeting people off of the internet, but dropping one's entire life without ever having a physical face to face confrontation is only something that a young inexperienced person does, or someone who is emotionally insecure. Even on the phone you cannot get a true sense of who someone is.
These are your lives and pardon me for putting my two cents in. However, in the future I would suggest that before you assume someone's motives (i.e. undermining you to get into the pants of some girl I don't know, have never corresponded with, and do not intend to meet) and proving the fact that you are insecure and jealous, even in the figment of your own internet imagination, you would be wiser and not tip your hand so easily.
Good luck to you both, you seem like you will need it. Harsh words, but fair I'm sure.
Furthermore, my address to puppies and thumbs was metaphorical. After hearing your obvious feelings towards me, someone you don't know, but who did offer HONEST blunt advice that could be taken or left, I would have to concur with the unregistered guest who stated that you should be avoided like anthrax.
You are a grown man, older than I am in fact, and you should know better. You either have not developmentally matured to a point where you feel comfortable with people offering honest, sound advice to people you propose to care about, or you are in fact the aforementioned creep. Furthermore the last time I slept with someone who was 18, I was 24, that was five years ago. I have never looked at age as a qualifying criteria for datability. Personal emotional security, intelligence and a kinky sexual drive are more what I prefer.
You both truly sound like a very unique pair, and each individually, though I hope to be wrong, are headed for your own special dose of reality, however I fear that Jenna is wagering far more than you sir.
In my experience I have met very few 18 year olds capable of true self sufficiency, emotionally, financially and otherwise. Unless one is forced to, it is rather difficult to achieve at that age, though possible, and true vision of the reality of the world. Furthermore, this young lady has self professed issues in her past, which I believe you to be taking advantage of.
Your opinion of me matters not, I personally am only responding to show your young companion how an adult addresses percieved threats or attacks.
It is a pretty strong belief that affection can develop but no true love can exist in a non personal relationship. The odd factor out is the physical interaction between people. Even Charlie Manson has pen pals, but you wouldn't want to have him over for dinner from what I hear.
I don't frown upon meeting people off of the internet, but dropping one's entire life without ever having a physical face to face confrontation is only something that a young inexperienced person does, or someone who is emotionally insecure. Even on the phone you cannot get a true sense of who someone is.
These are your lives and pardon me for putting my two cents in. However, in the future I would suggest that before you assume someone's motives (i.e. undermining you to get into the pants of some girl I don't know, have never corresponded with, and do not intend to meet) and proving the fact that you are insecure and jealous, even in the figment of your own internet imagination, you would be wiser and not tip your hand so easily.
Good luck to you both, you seem like you will need it. Harsh words, but fair I'm sure.
it is aparent the neither Jenna nor I want your opinion...yours is very close minded...very one sided
personaly after what you said about me...there is no need to continue our exchanging posts between each other since you have your once sided view that i am just an old man who is chumming for young girls..
now as for Jenna....knowing her like i do she will have more comments for you...
take care
personaly after what you said about me...there is no need to continue our exchanging posts between each other since you have your once sided view that i am just an old man who is chumming for young girls..
now as for Jenna....knowing her like i do she will have more comments for you...
take care
Okay, I'm truly a objective party here - whether you two make your relationship work or not is entirely up to you or fate or whatever god you believe in.
But....
Jenna, you posted this thread asking for opinions. Now, whenever anyone does that they must be prepared for opinions that agree with them, and opinions that don't agree with them. You seem very willing to accept those opinions of well-wishers. You seem to attack those who bring up valid concerns. My curiosity is killing me as to why you brought this thread up to begin with. It seems, from the tone of the opening statement, and the way you are discounting those who are trying to give warnings, that you only want people to support your decision.
Now, I have done a search on both your name and on Rick's. You have only been a member of Lit since the beginnig of December. Now, that doesn't mean that you might have been lurking or posting under "Unregistered" for a longer period of time. I would ask: exactly how long have you known Rick? Why do I ask?
Simple. Rick has been registered here since June 2001. Throughout the summer he has placed ads with an underlying theme: young girls looking for a daddy. Now, that is a common fantasy among alot of men. And if playing "lil girl" to his "daddy" is what floats your boat - power to ya.
However, the first "public" mention that Rick made in regards to having some one special occurred on 11/28/01. Now, obviously, you two had been talking before that. It is interesting, though, that he was showering you with attention while at the same time continuing to post ads to meet people, including admitting that a certain other party who lives in Ohio is the one who truly rocks his world - both online and on the phone. (this stated in early December)
Sorry, girlfriend, but I got all kinds of warning bells going off in my head. You may know this guy better than I do, I'll give you that. And maybe you share the same fantasies of incest that he does - hey, I'm no judge there, either. But, from what I can determine, you and he possibly met mid-November (maybe 2 weeks earlier?)? It is now mid-December, which means that you would have known him an entire 4 - 6 weeks, and you are willing to leave home to, I assume move in with him, all the way across the country.
And you state you know him as well as you know yourself. Well, excuse me, but if you could pick that up in 4 - 6 weeks, I am way skeptical. To know some one THAT completely in that short of time? And to make a decision to move to where he is, without a meeting first, with just that short of time? Sorry, but my bets are riding on the side that this relationship ain't gonna make it. Hope I lose my money, but that's what I see.
And, Rick? I'm sure you might think you love this girl. If you truly do, then I must admire that. But I would think a man your age can see and realize that, having only known each other such a short period of time, that it would be a more prudent thing to meet the young lady first? For an extended weekend? Obviously, you would have more money than she, so why not meet halfway? Then, if things work out in person, start planning?
You two are going to do whatever you two want to do. Jenna, I don't think you came here to find out anybody's opinion. You posted this thread, as far as I can see, to get affirmation that what you are doing is okay.
Sorry, in my opinion - which you asked for - is that what you are doing in not okay. And it has absolutely nothing to do with age. It's the circumstances in which you are involving yourself. It sounds as though you might have a somewhat less than happy homelife. Is this the way out? Out of the frying pan and into the fire, perhaps?
Think, girl. Really think. I was 18, too. I know the passions and eagerness for love. Just think long and hard about what position you are getting yourself into - no matter how "streetwise" you believe you are. You may just be out of your league.
But....
Jenna, you posted this thread asking for opinions. Now, whenever anyone does that they must be prepared for opinions that agree with them, and opinions that don't agree with them. You seem very willing to accept those opinions of well-wishers. You seem to attack those who bring up valid concerns. My curiosity is killing me as to why you brought this thread up to begin with. It seems, from the tone of the opening statement, and the way you are discounting those who are trying to give warnings, that you only want people to support your decision.
Now, I have done a search on both your name and on Rick's. You have only been a member of Lit since the beginnig of December. Now, that doesn't mean that you might have been lurking or posting under "Unregistered" for a longer period of time. I would ask: exactly how long have you known Rick? Why do I ask?
Simple. Rick has been registered here since June 2001. Throughout the summer he has placed ads with an underlying theme: young girls looking for a daddy. Now, that is a common fantasy among alot of men. And if playing "lil girl" to his "daddy" is what floats your boat - power to ya.
However, the first "public" mention that Rick made in regards to having some one special occurred on 11/28/01. Now, obviously, you two had been talking before that. It is interesting, though, that he was showering you with attention while at the same time continuing to post ads to meet people, including admitting that a certain other party who lives in Ohio is the one who truly rocks his world - both online and on the phone. (this stated in early December)
Sorry, girlfriend, but I got all kinds of warning bells going off in my head. You may know this guy better than I do, I'll give you that. And maybe you share the same fantasies of incest that he does - hey, I'm no judge there, either. But, from what I can determine, you and he possibly met mid-November (maybe 2 weeks earlier?)? It is now mid-December, which means that you would have known him an entire 4 - 6 weeks, and you are willing to leave home to, I assume move in with him, all the way across the country.
And you state you know him as well as you know yourself. Well, excuse me, but if you could pick that up in 4 - 6 weeks, I am way skeptical. To know some one THAT completely in that short of time? And to make a decision to move to where he is, without a meeting first, with just that short of time? Sorry, but my bets are riding on the side that this relationship ain't gonna make it. Hope I lose my money, but that's what I see.
And, Rick? I'm sure you might think you love this girl. If you truly do, then I must admire that. But I would think a man your age can see and realize that, having only known each other such a short period of time, that it would be a more prudent thing to meet the young lady first? For an extended weekend? Obviously, you would have more money than she, so why not meet halfway? Then, if things work out in person, start planning?
You two are going to do whatever you two want to do. Jenna, I don't think you came here to find out anybody's opinion. You posted this thread, as far as I can see, to get affirmation that what you are doing is okay.
Sorry, in my opinion - which you asked for - is that what you are doing in not okay. And it has absolutely nothing to do with age. It's the circumstances in which you are involving yourself. It sounds as though you might have a somewhat less than happy homelife. Is this the way out? Out of the frying pan and into the fire, perhaps?
Think, girl. Really think. I was 18, too. I know the passions and eagerness for love. Just think long and hard about what position you are getting yourself into - no matter how "streetwise" you believe you are. You may just be out of your league.
I shouldn't dignify this with a response, but as you collectively have claimed "I have no life" then I would just like to state the following:
My first response did not deal directly with you in any context. It drew no assumptions, and in fact if you read it carefully, gave you the benefit of the doubt.
You obviously percieved this as a threat and sought the need to get nasty. You stated that I would gladly fill the role, making it very obvious that you feel very threatened about your relationship.
As far as posting my opinion. Your friend posted a thread in a public forum, thus solicitating responses. As someone participating in the forum it gives me the right to respond however I see fit. I attempt to speak from unobscured experience and from an objective point of view.
In essence, I believe you to be emotionally immature, insecure and generally ignorant. At not time did I mention any problem it an age difference, moreover, the advice I offered I would offer to anyone in any age group who solicited the advice, much as occurred here.
Now I understand there are a great deal of pablum brained people out there such as you seem to be, however, I had hoped that in a PUBLIC forum such as this a well thought and well expressed idea could be presented. Several people seemed to think my idea was such.
I'm not offended or upset, I've really no reason to be. I really don't care, regardless of whether you are a creep or not I will still go and play pool and dance tonight, I will still go to sleep, and I will still (God willing) wake up and continue in my life.
I thought that some good advice might go a long way. But as I stated in the beginning people will do what they will irregardless, it's the American way.
You seem to be enticing an inexperienced young woman into an untenable situation, one which will put her at your overall mercy, and you don't like hearing it, nor people pointing it out to her. I think you will show your true colors rather quickly. I think you have deceived yourself into believing that this is "Love". However, someone who mistakes heavy hormones, good email and telephone calls as love, has never experienced it. Furthermore, love has nothing to do with enticing someone out of a power position into a powerless one (not unless thats your thing), even one who is too blind to see you who you are.
Good day to you, and once again, good luck...your going to need it.
My first response did not deal directly with you in any context. It drew no assumptions, and in fact if you read it carefully, gave you the benefit of the doubt.
You obviously percieved this as a threat and sought the need to get nasty. You stated that I would gladly fill the role, making it very obvious that you feel very threatened about your relationship.
As far as posting my opinion. Your friend posted a thread in a public forum, thus solicitating responses. As someone participating in the forum it gives me the right to respond however I see fit. I attempt to speak from unobscured experience and from an objective point of view.
In essence, I believe you to be emotionally immature, insecure and generally ignorant. At not time did I mention any problem it an age difference, moreover, the advice I offered I would offer to anyone in any age group who solicited the advice, much as occurred here.
Now I understand there are a great deal of pablum brained people out there such as you seem to be, however, I had hoped that in a PUBLIC forum such as this a well thought and well expressed idea could be presented. Several people seemed to think my idea was such.
I'm not offended or upset, I've really no reason to be. I really don't care, regardless of whether you are a creep or not I will still go and play pool and dance tonight, I will still go to sleep, and I will still (God willing) wake up and continue in my life.
I thought that some good advice might go a long way. But as I stated in the beginning people will do what they will irregardless, it's the American way.
You seem to be enticing an inexperienced young woman into an untenable situation, one which will put her at your overall mercy, and you don't like hearing it, nor people pointing it out to her. I think you will show your true colors rather quickly. I think you have deceived yourself into believing that this is "Love". However, someone who mistakes heavy hormones, good email and telephone calls as love, has never experienced it. Furthermore, love has nothing to do with enticing someone out of a power position into a powerless one (not unless thats your thing), even one who is too blind to see you who you are.
Good day to you, and once again, good luck...your going to need it.
PeterBilt
Really Really Experienced
- Joined
- Oct 30, 2001
- Posts
- 388
I sort of resent your treatment of Mr. Fla, who did not suggest you were childish - I believe that was Jenna's interpretation of what he said. After all, she asked for opinions, and I think he presented his fairly and impersonally. I think an honest seeker sifts all input, and a true lover seeks all that's good for the object of one's desire. He (MrFla) certainly doesn't need me to defend him. You both seem pretty determined; I'm not sure then the object of this post, other than the cautions may have made you more entrenched.
MrFla
you have expressed your opinion...but in your opinion you have made accusations on my part...i value everyones opinion but that in no way means i have to listen or respect it....
Jenna and i have both made posts to you about your opinion...but you seem to message me...yet throw accusations at me....
we will keep you posted on our relationship
like i said before...
take care
btw...i am cancelling this thread so jenna will have to give me the lastest on it
you have expressed your opinion...but in your opinion you have made accusations on my part...i value everyones opinion but that in no way means i have to listen or respect it....
Jenna and i have both made posts to you about your opinion...but you seem to message me...yet throw accusations at me....
we will keep you posted on our relationship
like i said before...
take care
btw...i am cancelling this thread so jenna will have to give me the lastest on it
You know something, you really need some help Pierced. You really do. Not only do you express your jealousy and insecurity but you claim that people are messaging you as well as altering their posts to suit your needs.
First off the only messages sent to you were in the form of my postings in the forum, any other message would be beyond the scope of my concern, and not worth the effort. So your statement about me sending you messages isincorrect. At this point my invovlement, after reading a couple threads up, is just because I think you are a creep and I think your more than likely going to wind up hurting this girl, someone who probably doesn't need it.
Furthermore, you substantially altered, as EVERYONE can clearly see, a quote from my first post. Instead of it reading it to say I probably would still sleep with an eighteen year old, you misquote my statement, and attempt to form comradery with male readers, to read that I would "rather kick puppies".
If your willing to go out of your way to mislead to prove an ill informed and ill projected point about me, how far are you willing to go to get an 18 year old into your clutches. You profess your love and here we have someone telling us that as soon as a month ago you were trolling for other young chicks. I'm not sure, but you seem to be fixated on the youth rather than the person and snatched up a quick grab.
Whatever your thing is man, get over yourself. I guess I got a little too wrapped up in this thread, and it's really time to go out and play pool and shake my ass on the dance floor. So I will go and enjoy myself and not think about you at all...like a lightbulb going out...click.
First off the only messages sent to you were in the form of my postings in the forum, any other message would be beyond the scope of my concern, and not worth the effort. So your statement about me sending you messages isincorrect. At this point my invovlement, after reading a couple threads up, is just because I think you are a creep and I think your more than likely going to wind up hurting this girl, someone who probably doesn't need it.
Furthermore, you substantially altered, as EVERYONE can clearly see, a quote from my first post. Instead of it reading it to say I probably would still sleep with an eighteen year old, you misquote my statement, and attempt to form comradery with male readers, to read that I would "rather kick puppies".
If your willing to go out of your way to mislead to prove an ill informed and ill projected point about me, how far are you willing to go to get an 18 year old into your clutches. You profess your love and here we have someone telling us that as soon as a month ago you were trolling for other young chicks. I'm not sure, but you seem to be fixated on the youth rather than the person and snatched up a quick grab.
Whatever your thing is man, get over yourself. I guess I got a little too wrapped up in this thread, and it's really time to go out and play pool and shake my ass on the dance floor. So I will go and enjoy myself and not think about you at all...like a lightbulb going out...click.
Okay,
That last post was stupid, I got wrapped up and moreover this is an apology to anyone who reads on. Sheesh, maybe I do need a life. However, I think my biggest mistake was having a battle of wits with an unarmed man.
Life is full of choices.
That last post was stupid, I got wrapped up and moreover this is an apology to anyone who reads on. Sheesh, maybe I do need a life. However, I think my biggest mistake was having a battle of wits with an unarmed man.
Life is full of choices.
omahaman2
Here's your sign
- Joined
- Nov 16, 2001
- Posts
- 18,171
agrees with jenny and mr fla
just read some of the posts on this thread and i too agree with mr fla. i am involved with jennyomanhill in a long distance relationship right now and noticed her posts here saying she will be taking the precautions mr fla suggested when we meet in person.i want her to do anything and everything to make her feel comfortable. i see pierced getting very defensive about some good advice to someone he supposedly loves.i would be thanking mr fla ifor giving good advice to my sweetheart if kitten was in love with me rather than slandering him.
just read some of the posts on this thread and i too agree with mr fla. i am involved with jennyomanhill in a long distance relationship right now and noticed her posts here saying she will be taking the precautions mr fla suggested when we meet in person.i want her to do anything and everything to make her feel comfortable. i see pierced getting very defensive about some good advice to someone he supposedly loves.i would be thanking mr fla ifor giving good advice to my sweetheart if kitten was in love with me rather than slandering him.
Xkitten83X
Virgin
- Joined
- Dec 5, 2001
- Posts
- 23
Im sorry
Im sorry if you feel that Im not considering all comments and advice equally. Believe me, I have thought about the things that everyone has said. I know that this is moving really fast, and maybe that isnt a good idea. Im just going to trust my instincts and hope that everything turns out ok. I was going to move out anyhow.... Rick just made the where to a little easier. I know all about the things that hes posted in the past... It doesnt worry me. I guess that the reason that we both went up in arms is that we are getting attacked from all sides. Both of our families arent very happy about this. My friends arent very happy about this (well, some of them anyhow). I know that maybe that says something about what Im doing...
Im not moving out there to be with him... Im moving out there to start over. If he is willing to work with me and be part of that then great... If he isnt then I will have to do it on my own.
I am sorry if it seems that I attacked the opinions of some. You're right.... I asked for your opinions... and Im thankful that so many people were so honest with me... It did make me think. Like I said... Its kind of hard not to get a little snappy when you have a ton of people telling you that your wrong. Everyone has expressed their honest opinion in an intelligent manner and its great that you all took the time to tell me what you think.
Of course I will keep everyone updated, and I hope that it all works out.....
Im sorry if you feel that Im not considering all comments and advice equally. Believe me, I have thought about the things that everyone has said. I know that this is moving really fast, and maybe that isnt a good idea. Im just going to trust my instincts and hope that everything turns out ok. I was going to move out anyhow.... Rick just made the where to a little easier. I know all about the things that hes posted in the past... It doesnt worry me. I guess that the reason that we both went up in arms is that we are getting attacked from all sides. Both of our families arent very happy about this. My friends arent very happy about this (well, some of them anyhow). I know that maybe that says something about what Im doing...
Im not moving out there to be with him... Im moving out there to start over. If he is willing to work with me and be part of that then great... If he isnt then I will have to do it on my own.
I am sorry if it seems that I attacked the opinions of some. You're right.... I asked for your opinions... and Im thankful that so many people were so honest with me... It did make me think. Like I said... Its kind of hard not to get a little snappy when you have a ton of people telling you that your wrong. Everyone has expressed their honest opinion in an intelligent manner and its great that you all took the time to tell me what you think.
Of course I will keep everyone updated, and I hope that it all works out.....
Good Luck
Personally,
I think your a lot more mature than I gave you credit for. Though I still believe you to be making a mistake, its your life and you should live it how you see fit.
Good luck on your adventure and thank you for your kind words.
One last thing, unless your are being physically, mentally or sexually abused at home, don't leave the safety of the nest just yet. It's rough out there. I don't pray much these days, but I think I can spare the effort. Good luck and watch your back, it's the only one you have.
Personally,
I think your a lot more mature than I gave you credit for. Though I still believe you to be making a mistake, its your life and you should live it how you see fit.
Good luck on your adventure and thank you for your kind words.
One last thing, unless your are being physically, mentally or sexually abused at home, don't leave the safety of the nest just yet. It's rough out there. I don't pray much these days, but I think I can spare the effort. Good luck and watch your back, it's the only one you have.
Xkitten83X
Virgin
- Joined
- Dec 5, 2001
- Posts
- 23
Thanks again
According to the professionals my parents cause me to exibit symptoms of rapid cycling bipolar disorder. Something that is normally chemical but with me is situational. I was told when I was sixteen that Id be better off living on my own (by a psychiatrist). I left for 10 months but my mother had a nervous breakdown and so here I am back with the family. At this point my moms doing a lot better, and I feel that its time for me to get out before I snap.
I was sexually abused as a child... my father is very mentally abusive... and the only reason he wont hit me is that he tried once and I hit back (Im not a delicate little girl).
For those months that I was on my own I payed the bills, kept a good job, and helped several friends get back onto their feet. I also took care of my cousins daughter whenever I wasnt working. I feel that if I can keep a job pay rent and take care of a two yr old for ten months then I shouldnt have a prob on my own. I hate leaving my parents and I dont want to hurt them... but what they are doing hurts me.
Thanks for the kind wishes and I appreciate your prayers....
According to the professionals my parents cause me to exibit symptoms of rapid cycling bipolar disorder. Something that is normally chemical but with me is situational. I was told when I was sixteen that Id be better off living on my own (by a psychiatrist). I left for 10 months but my mother had a nervous breakdown and so here I am back with the family. At this point my moms doing a lot better, and I feel that its time for me to get out before I snap.
I was sexually abused as a child... my father is very mentally abusive... and the only reason he wont hit me is that he tried once and I hit back (Im not a delicate little girl).
For those months that I was on my own I payed the bills, kept a good job, and helped several friends get back onto their feet. I also took care of my cousins daughter whenever I wasnt working. I feel that if I can keep a job pay rent and take care of a two yr old for ten months then I shouldnt have a prob on my own. I hate leaving my parents and I dont want to hurt them... but what they are doing hurts me.
Thanks for the kind wishes and I appreciate your prayers....
Keep your chin up kiddo. I remain firm in my belief, but perhaps moving is a good idea, it's just a matter of to where. Once you transgress the doorstep of your parents house, your life is your own.
I'm sorry about your experiences, we all have our dark days and soon, if we keep faith in ourselves, they fall behind us quickly. Keep the faith and the best to you.
I'm sorry about your experiences, we all have our dark days and soon, if we keep faith in ourselves, they fall behind us quickly. Keep the faith and the best to you.
Jenna,
I don't mean to come off as a "doom and gloom" type of person, because I have known of relationships with great age differences becoming wonderful, loving, long-term commitments. If this happens to you and Rick, then I wish you ever happiness - always.
Your statements, however, do bring some concern to light. You state your family and most of your friends feel you are moving too quickly. Now, I know that when I have acted in a manner in which my family and friends were strongly against and I did it anyway, I always got hurt. Why? Family (even ones that seem dysfunctional) and friends care about you, and don't want to see you hurt. As well, they are able to look beyond what you see, they can see pieces of the puzzle that love (and, let's face it, lust) sometimes hide. Their warnings are usually solidly based and they state them for the very reason that they are afraid you will get hurt.
I know that it is easy to think that family may be too clingy and demanding, and that friends are merely jealous. But, and regretfully this is the voice of experience here, I have always found that whatever it was my friends and family saw that I rejected, turned out to be true, my heart broken, and having to admit I was wrong.
If you truly want to move back east, if this is what you are determined to do, then go in peace. But don't sever your ties from friends and family in the process.
Jenna, I've said before that I am a totally objective party, and that was true. But from what you have said here, I see a young woman who is *maybe* questioning a very important move in her life, and for some unknown reason, you have touched my heart. I know I can walk away from this, and should, but your story touches me. Sorry for that.
As I stated, I hope this relationship works out - it's the romantic in me, I like to see couples happy. I see things to be concerned about, and I read them between the lines of your post. If you determine you are happy, then I wish you well. If you want some one to talk to, Jenna, I would welcome that as well.
Good luck and best wishes in whatever you choose to do.
I don't mean to come off as a "doom and gloom" type of person, because I have known of relationships with great age differences becoming wonderful, loving, long-term commitments. If this happens to you and Rick, then I wish you ever happiness - always.
Your statements, however, do bring some concern to light. You state your family and most of your friends feel you are moving too quickly. Now, I know that when I have acted in a manner in which my family and friends were strongly against and I did it anyway, I always got hurt. Why? Family (even ones that seem dysfunctional) and friends care about you, and don't want to see you hurt. As well, they are able to look beyond what you see, they can see pieces of the puzzle that love (and, let's face it, lust) sometimes hide. Their warnings are usually solidly based and they state them for the very reason that they are afraid you will get hurt.
I know that it is easy to think that family may be too clingy and demanding, and that friends are merely jealous. But, and regretfully this is the voice of experience here, I have always found that whatever it was my friends and family saw that I rejected, turned out to be true, my heart broken, and having to admit I was wrong.
If you truly want to move back east, if this is what you are determined to do, then go in peace. But don't sever your ties from friends and family in the process.
Jenna, I've said before that I am a totally objective party, and that was true. But from what you have said here, I see a young woman who is *maybe* questioning a very important move in her life, and for some unknown reason, you have touched my heart. I know I can walk away from this, and should, but your story touches me. Sorry for that.
As I stated, I hope this relationship works out - it's the romantic in me, I like to see couples happy. I see things to be concerned about, and I read them between the lines of your post. If you determine you are happy, then I wish you well. If you want some one to talk to, Jenna, I would welcome that as well.
Good luck and best wishes in whatever you choose to do.
Jenna,
I don't mean to come off as a "doom and gloom" type of person, because I have known of relationships with great age differences becoming wonderful, loving, long-term commitments. If this happens to you and Rick, then I wish you ever happiness - always.
Your statements, however, do bring some concern to light. You state your family and most of your friends feel you are moving too quickly. Now, I know that when I have acted in a manner in which my family and friends were strongly against and I did it anyway, I always got hurt. Why? Family (even ones that seem dysfunctional) and friends care about you, and don't want to see you hurt. As well, they are able to look beyond what you see, they can see pieces of the puzzle that love (and, let's face it, lust) sometimes hide. Their warnings are usually solidly based and they state them for the very reason that they are afraid you will get hurt.
I know that it is easy to think that family may be too clingy and demanding, and that friends are merely jealous. But, and regretfully this is the voice of experience here, I have always found that whatever it was my friends and family saw that I rejected, turned out to be true, my heart broken, and having to admit I was wrong.
If you truly want to move back east, if this is what you are determined to do, then go in peace. But don't sever your ties from friends and family in the process.
Jenna, I've said before that I am a totally objective party, and that was true. But from what you have said here, I see a young woman who is *maybe* questioning a very important move in her life, and for some unknown reason, you have touched my heart. I know I can walk away from this, and should, but your story touches me. Sorry for that.
As I stated, I hope this relationship works out - it's the romantic in me, I like to see couples happy. I see things to be concerned about, and I read them between the lines of your post. If you determine you are happy, then I wish you well. If you want some one to talk to, Jenna, I would welcome that as well.
Good luck and best wishes in whatever you choose to do.
I don't mean to come off as a "doom and gloom" type of person, because I have known of relationships with great age differences becoming wonderful, loving, long-term commitments. If this happens to you and Rick, then I wish you ever happiness - always.
Your statements, however, do bring some concern to light. You state your family and most of your friends feel you are moving too quickly. Now, I know that when I have acted in a manner in which my family and friends were strongly against and I did it anyway, I always got hurt. Why? Family (even ones that seem dysfunctional) and friends care about you, and don't want to see you hurt. As well, they are able to look beyond what you see, they can see pieces of the puzzle that love (and, let's face it, lust) sometimes hide. Their warnings are usually solidly based and they state them for the very reason that they are afraid you will get hurt.
I know that it is easy to think that family may be too clingy and demanding, and that friends are merely jealous. But, and regretfully this is the voice of experience here, I have always found that whatever it was my friends and family saw that I rejected, turned out to be true, my heart broken, and having to admit I was wrong.
If you truly want to move back east, if this is what you are determined to do, then go in peace. But don't sever your ties from friends and family in the process.
Jenna, I've said before that I am a totally objective party, and that was true. But from what you have said here, I see a young woman who is *maybe* questioning a very important move in her life, and for some unknown reason, you have touched my heart. I know I can walk away from this, and should, but your story touches me. Sorry for that.
As I stated, I hope this relationship works out - it's the romantic in me, I like to see couples happy. I see things to be concerned about, and I read them between the lines of your post. If you determine you are happy, then I wish you well. If you want some one to talk to, Jenna, I would welcome that as well.
Good luck and best wishes in whatever you choose to do.
