Am I being totally ignorant or something...
- Thread starter Andreina
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James Blandings
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Feb 23, 2002
- Posts
- 798
CarolineOh said:
That's a really good question, Caroline, and I don't think that there is a really good answer. I agree with Ms Hecate's post, but I don't think it addresses the question of where we draw the line as to what we accept as BDSM.
A few years ago there was a big controversy on ASB when a Dom posted asking for advice as to how to "safely" break his sub's arm. Many people felt that as outrageous as such a scene would be, as long as it was consentual, they had no right to be judgemental. Others thought that it was outside the bounds of acceptable behavior, but were unable to find a way to justify their feeling that purposely breaking bones was outside the parameters of BDSM. Becaue you can't, even though you know in your guts that it is wrong. I can say that permanent, unrepairable mutilation, such as castration, is wrong, and someone else can come along and show us their penile modifications that everyone oohed and ahhed over at the last party, and I am left with no ground to stand on, other than my own standards.
Fortunately , most people in BDSM actually do have enough common sense to keep the real far out cases from setting their standards for the whole community. And, if my memory serves me correctly, though the discussion about the arm breaking went on for weeks, I don't think anyone actually ever offered any advice on how to do it.
cymbidia
unrepentant pervert
- Joined
- Mar 8, 2001
- Posts
- 8,786
Halo, please let me apologize to you again for the rudeness you encountered when you initially posted this topic. I cannot believe those who responded rudely to you were people who are known as our community members and am left assuming that they're among our legions of silent onlookers.
Please know that without many exceptions, we who are vocal here will never castigate you or anyone else for asking a question regarding skin-to-skin BDSM practices, no matter how awkwardly phrased and whether or not we, personally, like the subject matter. We just don't do that here. Perhaps some of our onlookers are less tolerant than most of the rest of us; i have no way to know that. However, those of us who speak out here, we're tolerant people, Halo, and we understand to the core of our souls that old phrase different strokes for different folks.
Hecate had the right of it: what BDSM is varies from relationship to relationship, from person to person, across time and place.
Unlike Hecate, i've had a *lot* of piercing done to me. The energy that flowed between my partner and i during those many times was most definitely BDSM in every single instance of that piercing play. However, i've got pierced ears too, four ear piercings, and those were most assuredly not BDSM in nature.
BDSM is always a consensual headspace, Halo. It's a way of feeling, a shared view of sexuality. It always involves a power shift between those who are involved but it doesn't have to always include, for example, spanking or flogging or nipple clamps or anything. It can be a thing of words, one to the other, while sitting fully clothed at the theater.
BDSM is impossible to label neatly and stick, tidely, into a box because it means something a bit different to all of us who identify ourselves as being of this mindset.
From my perspective, the extremes of body mod, which becoming a eunuch certainly is, do stand under the BDSM umbrella. Remember that SM part of who we are. What could be more masochistic than the removal of your genitals and thus your primary means of feeling sexual pleasure?
It was a fine question, Halo.
Please feel free to post more thought-provoking questions at will.
cym
(Off topic: i once had a full-on sadist [not a Dom but a man who identified as a pure sadist] tell me that he had to leave his girlfriend, a full-on masochist, because she wanted more than he could give her. He'd already removed her outer and inner labia, a procedure that left her looking horribly mutilated - but she loved it. Now, he told me, she wanted him to sew her closed. Then she would pull the stitches out and want him to do it again - like every other day. It was too much for him. And, he said, she was starting to make noises about having her clit removed, too. THEY considered themselves as part of the BDSM world - though all that made me [still makes me] feel a little sick.)
Please know that without many exceptions, we who are vocal here will never castigate you or anyone else for asking a question regarding skin-to-skin BDSM practices, no matter how awkwardly phrased and whether or not we, personally, like the subject matter. We just don't do that here. Perhaps some of our onlookers are less tolerant than most of the rest of us; i have no way to know that. However, those of us who speak out here, we're tolerant people, Halo, and we understand to the core of our souls that old phrase different strokes for different folks.
Hecate had the right of it: what BDSM is varies from relationship to relationship, from person to person, across time and place.
Unlike Hecate, i've had a *lot* of piercing done to me. The energy that flowed between my partner and i during those many times was most definitely BDSM in every single instance of that piercing play. However, i've got pierced ears too, four ear piercings, and those were most assuredly not BDSM in nature.
BDSM is always a consensual headspace, Halo. It's a way of feeling, a shared view of sexuality. It always involves a power shift between those who are involved but it doesn't have to always include, for example, spanking or flogging or nipple clamps or anything. It can be a thing of words, one to the other, while sitting fully clothed at the theater.
BDSM is impossible to label neatly and stick, tidely, into a box because it means something a bit different to all of us who identify ourselves as being of this mindset.
From my perspective, the extremes of body mod, which becoming a eunuch certainly is, do stand under the BDSM umbrella. Remember that SM part of who we are. What could be more masochistic than the removal of your genitals and thus your primary means of feeling sexual pleasure?
It was a fine question, Halo.
Please feel free to post more thought-provoking questions at will.
cym
(Off topic: i once had a full-on sadist [not a Dom but a man who identified as a pure sadist] tell me that he had to leave his girlfriend, a full-on masochist, because she wanted more than he could give her. He'd already removed her outer and inner labia, a procedure that left her looking horribly mutilated - but she loved it. Now, he told me, she wanted him to sew her closed. Then she would pull the stitches out and want him to do it again - like every other day. It was too much for him. And, he said, she was starting to make noises about having her clit removed, too. THEY considered themselves as part of the BDSM world - though all that made me [still makes me] feel a little sick.)
