AMA - BiBunny

[seela]

Probably, I would trade with either you or Iris. I don't know, you guys seem like you lead interesting lives, and also, it would be nice to go somewhere that's not the US for awhile.

I think you’d be sorely disappointed by the boringness of my life.

But I’d also pick who to trade with mainly based on where they live.

I have two things: One is my friends (which I count my IRL friends, Daddy, my work friends, and y'all, too), and the other is the fact that the financial situation is starting to look up a little bit more.

Those are both very good, big things! Definitely worth to be happy about!

No. I wish I had some, but I have a black thumb, so I can't keep them. I keep threatening to try some back porch gardening on my little strip of concrete out back that is supposed to be a patio, but I have yet to actually do it. If I did, I'd have tomatoes, squash, lettuce, spinach, cucumbers, carrots, and some herbs, like mint, cilantro, dill, and basil. Though if I'm honest here, I'd probably end up killing all that, too.

I’m not very good with plants either, but I like them. I do my best. Sometimes they die… It’d be nice to be able to grow something to eat, too. I miss having a balcony, but you can’t have it all I guess.

Spring! Ok, I hate the pollen, but the rest of it is great. The days are getting longer. The weather is warmish or coolish, but not too much in either direction. There's usually a nice breeze. My ideal temperature is between 60 and 65 F (15-18 C), which happens most often during what passes for winter here. But sometimes, you get cooler spring days at about those temperatures, and they're perfect.

I guess that's more "climate" than "weather," though, lol. I realized that after I typed all that out. Oh, well, I typed it already, so I'm leaving it, lol.

To answer your actual question, as far as weather conditions, I like it partly cloudy and not raining. A little sun, a little shade. Thunderstorms can be cool, too, though, as long as the power and the Internet stay on!

Spring is so good here, too!

 

[IrisAlthea]

I have a question, but if it is too political or personal, please just ignore or tell me and I’ll delete it.

I stumbled across an influencer - a woman who had moved with her family to Tennessee, I think. She had just found out she was pregnant and was happy about it but it still got me thinking about those laws that have become an issue in several states, yours included, I think.

Is this something that is openly discussed a lot, or is it just talked about in certain circles?
Because for me it would be an issue if I was going to move somewhere and possibly even a reason to move.

It’s a bit personal for me because I almost died because of an ectopic pregnancy. I wouldn’t have been here, if there had been any ”but it has a heart beat” delay. It was close enough without it, for my special ER doctor to remember me years later.
That is why I wonder how it is talked about, because to me it is a much bigger issue of ob/gyn health care, than just ”what if I want an abortion”, even if that is a huge issue in itself.

 

[BiBunny]

I have a question, but if it is too political or personal, please just ignore or tell me and I’ll delete it.

I stumbled across an influencer - a woman who had moved with her family to Tennessee, I think. She had just found out she was pregnant and was happy about it but it still got me thinking about those laws that have become an issue in several states, yours included, I think.

Is this something that is openly discussed a lot, or is it just talked about in certain circles?
Because for me it would be an issue if I was going to move somewhere and possibly even a reason to move.

It’s a bit personal for me because I almost died because of an ectopic pregnancy. I wouldn’t have been here, if there had been any ”but it has a heart beat” delay. It was close enough without it, for my special ER doctor to remember me years later.
That is why I wonder how it is talked about, because to me it is a much bigger issue of ob/gyn health care, than just ”what if I want an abortion”, even if that is a huge issue in itself.

Yes, you're right, abortion is basically altogether banned here now.

It's not something that's discussed among the general public because people are uptight about everything here. It is widely discussed among leftists (and probably liberals, too, but I'm a leftist myself, not a liberal, so I can't speak to what they do exactly). My friends and I talk about it pretty regularly. But the conservative factions don't usually mention it in "polite company," despite the fact that the politicians are rabid about it and the conservatives themselves are all "AbORtiOn iS MuRder!!11!!1!!!" about the whole thing.

It's not as personal for me as it is for you, of course, but it is relevant to me because I'm not supposed to be on birth control. My doctor doesn't feel comfortable putting me on it, with my history of blood pressure issues and also all the other meds I happen to be on. And I understand that, no shade meant to my doctor. But it does suck, and it does worry me, and I'm so afraid of what might happen. I guess my only saving grace is that, because Daddy and I rarely see each other, I don't have that many opportunities for the worst to happen. And for me, it would absolutely be the worst thing that could happen. If there were no way I could get an abortion, like out-of-state or whatever, I would most likely kill myself rather than be forced to carry a fucking *shudder* baby to term. That's not hyperbole or hysteria; that's just how much the whole idea disgusts me.

That being said, your comment about it possibly being a reason to move set off a whole chain of thoughts in my head, so I'm going to elaborate for a moment on it. I hope y'all will forgive me for being long-winded.

I don't think any thinking Southerner can really say they can live here without qualms. The South has a long and storied history of being on the wrong side of history. You can't live here and not be faced with that regularly. There's a monument less than five minutes away from my apartment to the Freedom Riders, and on into town, there are murals depicting the two buses. Our history stares us in the face at all times, and we have to live with it.

Of course, this hits way closer to home for Black people than white people, but regardless of your race, you do have to live with the discomfort of some of the things The South has done. I don't think anyone who's not a complete asshole can really ever make peace with it. The problem is, this place is full of assholes.

That being said, I couldn't live anywhere else. There are certain...social scientists? (not sure what to call them) who argue that "Southerners" are an ethnic group. All Southerners, not just white ones. And when you have lived here your whole life, you feel that keenly.

I am not a prototypical Southerner, but I couldn't make it anywhere else. I have a blue-collar Southern accent. I could get rid of it, but why? To make other people feel more comfortable? No. But I am very strongly branded with my identity as a Southerner, and even if I got rid of the accent altogether, it wouldn't change that. This is my home. The roots run really deep, even in people who are not weird Confederate nationalists...which, God help us, there are way too many of those.

I don't want to leave my home. I just want my home not to suck. There's a post on Tumblr that says something like, "The South is an area full of leftists and people of color, held hostage by gerrymandering," and that's very much true. I want to not be held hostage by white nationalist Christo-fascists, but I don't want to leave in order to do that. All you can do is work from the inside and hope to make a shitty place better to live in for yourself and for those who come after you.

It's hard to do, and it's hard to talk about. And I don't doubt that other people feel this way about their homes, too. I'm certainly not suggesting it's something that's unique to the American South. I just wanted to show my perspective on the whole thing, for what little it's worth.

 

[twister947]

Same, here, Bun.

 

[IrisAlthea]

Thank you so much for answering!

Sadly you confirm what I had a feeling might be happening.
I have a few female US friends from another board about other topics, that died a looong time ago and I see discussion elsewhere online among women where I feel there is a deafening quiet about these topics these days.
It’s like it’s so polarized you don’t want to poke that bear outside places where you either know that people agree or don’t care if there will be disruption.
And the focus on abortion masks how much these laws affects women’s health in general.

I get not wanting to leave your home and your family. I’ve been thinking much myself, with the people gaining power here, where the line is, what to do when it’s crossed and what would create an actual change.
It was the active move to such a place that set off my thoughts.

In general though, I’d like to say that I don’t think we are responsible for history in our country, region, family or group of people.

How would your doctor feel about an intrauterine device?
And I’d like to add that condoms, used right, are safer than people think and hormonal methods less safe than people think.

 

[seela]

Yes, you're right, abortion is basically altogether banned here now.

It's not something that's discussed among the general public because people are uptight about everything here. It is widely discussed among leftists (and probably liberals, too, but I'm a leftist myself, not a liberal, so I can't speak to what they do exactly). My friends and I talk about it pretty regularly. But the conservative factions don't usually mention it in "polite company," despite the fact that the politicians are rabid about it and the conservatives themselves are all "AbORtiOn iS MuRder!!11!!1!!!" about the whole thing.

It's not as personal for me as it is for you, of course, but it is relevant to me because I'm not supposed to be on birth control. My doctor doesn't feel comfortable putting me on it, with my history of blood pressure issues and also all the other meds I happen to be on. And I understand that, no shade meant to my doctor. But it does suck, and it does worry me, and I'm so afraid of what might happen. I guess my only saving grace is that, because Daddy and I rarely see each other, I don't have that many opportunities for the worst to happen. And for me, it would absolutely be the worst thing that could happen. If there were no way I could get an abortion, like out-of-state or whatever, I would most likely kill myself rather than be forced to carry a fucking *shudder* baby to term. That's not hyperbole or hysteria; that's just how much the whole idea disgusts me.

That being said, your comment about it possibly being a reason to move set off a whole chain of thoughts in my head, so I'm going to elaborate for a moment on it. I hope y'all will forgive me for being long-winded.

I don't think any thinking Southerner can really say they can live here without qualms. The South has a long and storied history of being on the wrong side of history. You can't live here and not be faced with that regularly. There's a monument less than five minutes away from my apartment to the Freedom Riders, and on into town, there are murals depicting the two buses. Our history stares us in the face at all times, and we have to live with it.

Of course, this hits way closer to home for Black people than white people, but regardless of your race, you do have to live with the discomfort of some of the things The South has done. I don't think anyone who's not a complete asshole can really ever make peace with it. The problem is, this place is full of assholes.

That being said, I couldn't live anywhere else. There are certain...social scientists? (not sure what to call them) who argue that "Southerners" are an ethnic group. All Southerners, not just white ones. And when you have lived here your whole life, you feel that keenly.

I am not a prototypical Southerner, but I couldn't make it anywhere else. I have a blue-collar Southern accent. I could get rid of it, but why? To make other people feel more comfortable? No. But I am very strongly branded with my identity as a Southerner, and even if I got rid of the accent altogether, it wouldn't change that. This is my home. The roots run really deep, even in people who are not weird Confederate nationalists...which, God help us, there are way too many of those.

I don't want to leave my home. I just want my home not to suck. There's a post on Tumblr that says something like, "The South is an area full of leftists and people of color, held hostage by gerrymandering," and that's very much true. I want to not be held hostage by white nationalist Christo-fascists, but I don't want to leave in order to do that. All you can do is work from the inside and hope to make a shitty place better to live in for yourself and for those who come after you.

It's hard to do, and it's hard to talk about. And I don't doubt that other people feel this way about their homes, too. I'm certainly not suggesting it's something that's unique to the American South. I just wanted to show my perspective on the whole thing, for what little it's worth.

This was a really interesting point of view! It’s easy to forget how complex people and places are when they’re depicted through a certain lens long enough.

As someone who’s not particularly attached to any geographical location, it’s cool how you have deep roots in the south and can’t imagine living elsewhere and recognize your identity.

I think I only develop any kind of national identity when I’m away from home, if even then. I don’t have any local identity at all, not particularly attached to the areas where I’ve grown up or lived in. Some landscapes feel more familiar and in a way more comfortable than others and then I realize that yeah, that’s because it’s similar to where I grew up or something, but that’s as far as my attachment to any particular area seems to go.

Interesting things to ponder!

Edit: Question.

Would you move somewhere not-South if you felt like those places were more accepting of, for example, your southern accent?

 

[BiBunny]

Thank you so much for answering!

Sadly you confirm what I had a feeling might be happening.
I have a few female US friends from another board about other topics, that died a looong time ago and I see discussion elsewhere online among women where I feel there is a deafening quiet about these topics these days.
It’s like it’s so polarized you don’t want to poke that bear outside places where you either know that people agree or don’t care if there will be disruption.
And the focus on abortion masks how much these laws affects women’s health in general.

I get not wanting to leave your home and your family. I’ve been thinking much myself, with the people gaining power here, where the line is, what to do when it’s crossed and what would create an actual change.
It was the active move to such a place that set off my thoughts.

In general though, I’d like to say that I don’t think we are responsible for history in our country, region, family or group of people.

How would your doctor feel about an intrauterine device?
And I’d like to add that condoms, used right, are safer than people think and hormonal methods less safe than people think.

I agree that we aren't responsible for history. But we do have to figure out how to live with it and also how to keep the evils that are left over from it at bay.

My doctor did suggest an IUD, but I am squeamish about that, lol. Hopefully, condoms will be enough to keep me safe. I don't like thinking about the alternative. I would actually like to get my tubes tied. Last time I checked, the state would pay for it, for low-income people. If they will still do that, I would love to have it done and then not really have to worry at all anymore.

This was a really interesting point of view! It’s easy to forget how complex people and places are when they’re depicted through a certain lens long enough.

As someone who’s not particularly attached to any geographical location, it’s cool how you have deep roots in the south and can’t imagine living elsewhere and recognize your identity.

I think I only develop any kind of national identity when I’m away from home, if even then. I don’t have any local identity at all, not particularly attached to the areas where I’ve grown up or lived in. Some landscapes feel more familiar and in a way more comfortable than others and then I realize that yeah, that’s because it’s similar to where I grew up or something, but that’s as far as my attachment to any particular area seems to go.

Interesting things to ponder!

Edit: Question.

Would you move somewhere not-South if you felt like those places were more accepting of, for example, your southern accent?

Yes, I should've been clearer about that. I can see myself living in Europe or somewhere like that. Europeans tend to think Southerners are charming, lol. Other Americans, though...ugh.

 

[cascadiabound]

I agree that we aren't responsible for history. But we do have to figure out how to live with it and also how to keep the evils that are left over from it at bay.

My doctor did suggest an IUD, but I am squeamish about that, lol. Hopefully, condoms will be enough to keep me safe. I don't like thinking about the alternative. I would actually like to get my tubes tied. Last time I checked, the state would pay for it, for low-income people. If they will still do that, I would love to have it done and then not really have to worry at all anymore.



Yes, I should've been clearer about that. I can see myself living in Europe or somewhere like that. Europeans tend to think Southerners are charming, lol. Other Americans, though...ugh.

I think you are charming! And I know at least as many southerners that I love/respect/care about/am charmed by as folks from any other region of the country.