GuiltyPleasure
AWTSS
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- Jul 12, 2003
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I don't find your poems shallow but I often think my own are. Besides what did you say to me in some thread? I believe it was "cluck, cluck."
Oooops. An Interview With Your Poem
- Thread starter Angeline
- Start date
Oooops. 
Angeline
Poet Chick
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- Mar 11, 2002
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Well think about it...when you have time. And if you want suggestions I'll pick a jazz poem of yours. Or one from your interview.
butters
High on a Hill
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i plan on doing this, but it's tricky finding a piece that i can use to answer the questions with anything much other than 'i can't remember' or 'don't know'
guess i'm not as organised with it all as some of you. after my bath i will take a good look to see if i can select one.
guess i'm not as organised with it all as some of you. after my bath i will take a good look to see if i can select one.
Remec
Master Glomper
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- Jun 28, 2003
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I would love to hear about the poem you wrote for the summer challenge. It's a great poem. That's my pick but mebbe you want to wait and get a few opinions.
*seconded*
Very well, then. 5th&Atlantic
When did you begin writing this poem? What made you decide to write it?
Posted in Lit on Aug 1st, so I must have submitted it a few days prior, after having put it up in the summer challenge--which, naturally, is what prompted me to write it.
How many times have you revised the poem and how much time has passed from your first draft to now?
I think I switched up a few things before its initial entry in the challenge and, after I submitted it to Lit, I later made a revision to remove the original final line after agreeing with some reviewers who suggested it might have been superfluous.
Do you believe the poem came from inspiration or was "received" in some way or was it just you putting the nuts and bolts of the lines together? Is there more art or craft in the poem?
This one? Inspiration to start with, I wanted something reflective and evocative...that was a casual observance from me as well as a nostalgic look back to how things had been...that sort of whole 'the more things change, the more they stay the same' vibe.
How did your poem arrive at its current form? Is it a traditional form or does it follow rules you created as you worked on the poem? Did you use any particular techniques or poetic devices that you felt worked out well?
Breathing. As I wrote it, I let things flow as they would, but then recited them to myself over and over to see where seemed best for line breaks and/or commas.
Was there anything unusual about how you wrote this poem?
Nothing that stands out in hindsight.
How much of your poem is fact and how much fiction? Did you think about blending fact and fiction as you wrote it? Even if you consider the poem fiction, how are you in it?
It's a pretty straightforward bit of autobiography with a touch of wishful thinking. We used to hang out now and then on the Oceanfront (I finished high school in Virginia Beach, where I returned after college), playing video games and pool at Flipper McCoy's, and just walking up and down the strip or sitting on some of the benches and playing Guess-the-Tourist's-Home. The last stanza is me indulging how I would like to have been (or still be on occasion).
Is your poem a story or something else and, if so, what?
I think I answered that one above. *g*
Do you remember what you were reading when you wrote this poem? If yes, what? Did any other poets or artists or events influence your poem?
No and no.
Did you write the poem for yourself or an audience? If you wrote for an audience, who are they? How do you envision your audience?
Well, being part of a Lit challenge, I think--even if subconsciously--I write with the idea that members of our usual cast of poets, readers, and hangers-on would be reading it.
Did you share drafts of your poem with anyone else as you write? Do you find that helpful and if so how did doing so improve your poem?
In a way, entering things for challenges is a form of draft sharing. Submitting it to Lit's actual poetry section is much the same in that I read through any comments or feedback I get and, sometimes, make amends to material that has already gone out, as it were.
How does this poem differ from other poems you've written?
Obviously, it differs from those that have an established form--be it a rhyme scheme, meter, or use of vocal effects--as well as from some of the sillier or darker things I've written in the past. But I think it has a voice much the same as quite a number of items on my submissions page.
What is American (or English, Canadian, Australian, or wherever you call home) about your poem?
I'm not sure anywhere else besides Japan really had a thriving arcade scene ( as in a place where people go to play video games).
Is your poem finished?
Are they ever, really, finished?
Will you try to publish your poem or has it been published (somewhere besides Lit) already?
I've considered that with various pieces, but have not ever really seriously looked into it.
butters
High on a Hill
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ok, after looking and looking, i gave up and chose this one - due to an e-mail i read today.
ten years on...
do the nightmares still come
of the planes and the
crumbling towers?
i suppose that they would
till you wake
in the dark
in the dead
in the heart-choke, breath-broke
night
blind
afraid it's still real
stifling scream
incase
incase
encased
incase
no-one hears
not even you
with eyes glued
and blood pumps
pumps
heavy as crude
your minerals
a viscous slew
till fingers find
the panic button
the god-light
When did you begin writing this poem? What made you decide to write it?
looking back in my diversity thread, i can find version 3 dated may 2011 - not sure where v's 1&2 went, probably scrapped as the rest should have been.
discovering someone i spoke with on the general board had been in one of the tower buildings when it came down. i didn't want to ask them the question directly - it wouldn't have been fair, and far too intrusive. but it's a question i wanted answers for, and so set out looking for them, by some attempt at placing myself in their shoes. obviously i don't feel i can approach the person in question with a 'how close did i get?' kind of message, so will just have to let it be what it is.
How many times have you revised the poem and how much time has passed from your first draft to now?
at least 5, probably nearer 10 - not all made it past the submit button.
from v3 to subbing it properly, a month and a halfish, from start to now . . . *calculates* 2 years and five months, more or less. *surprised* it feels much longer, probably because of being so closely tied in with the person in the piece reliving the original experience in nightmares.
Do you believe the poem came from inspiration or was "received" in some way or was it just you putting the nuts and bolts of the lines together? Is there more art or craft in the poem?
part inspiration (the topic and the why i started to write it), the rest just trying to imagine myself trapped before rescue arrived and what it might do to one's dreams even ten years on. to be honest, i don't know if it's art or artifice - it is about attempting to feel something through another's p.o.v. No-one, unless they were there, will be able to tell me if i got anywhere close, and i'm not about to go pestering like some whore of a poor journalist.
How did your poem arrive at its current form? Is it a traditional form or does it follow rules you created as you worked on the poem? Did you use any particular techniques or poetic devices that you felt worked out well?
i write stuff first, mainly, then rationalise/justify after the fact. it began as the crudest idea, and got swapped up with each tinkering - cutting, dropping lines, amending phrases... i had no rules other than 'allow the poem its own voice'. looking back, i hope the short, broken lines help create the effect i was trying to feel of disorientation, near blind-panic, the awareness - somewhere - that it was a dream and not reality again.... guess i used sound, as usual, though that tends to spill naturally and isn't something i deliberately think about. ultimately, as remec said with his, i just wrote it as it sounded out, the line breaks where they fell as i spoke the words.
Was there anything unusual about how you wrote this poem?
*thinks*
i gave it more attention when editing than i might normally, kept struggling with it, wanting to capture the feeling correctly. it sounds all kinds of weird, and maybe not nice, but whilst i couldn't ask the person directly, i would like to think if they read it they'd feel i had got it right. horrible, since that in itself might trigger awful memories and so be at their expense. guess i just wanted to do my best to show how a person might feel, make it real, even if all i had was imagination to work with. i still have no real idea about how right i was, but it's a bit late now to worry about it.
How much of your poem is fact and how much fiction? Did you think about blending fact and fiction as you wrote it? Even if you consider the poem fiction, how are you in it?
all fiction, attempting to be fact.
i'm the one asking the question and, ultimately, answering it albeit through another person's imagined experience. *sighs*
Is your poem a story or something else and, if so, what?
it's an imagined event based upon the impact of a reality.
Do you remember what you were reading when you wrote this poem? If yes, what? Did any other poets or artists or events influence your poem?
not a clue. sorry.
only the approaching date later in the year, maybe some conversation over on the Gen Board about what was being planned re ceremonies etc..., discussion about should it be dropped now and wounds allowed to heal. scattered random stuff. no, no other artists/poets.
Did you write the poem for yourself or an audience? If you wrote for an audience, who are they? How do you envision your audience?
i wrote primarily to see if i could do it and get it right. how right would depend on feedback. it got very little and, as mentioned earlier, only those in the position the person had found himself in would really be able to tell me how close i got. and then again all people will have different responses. so, i guess i really wrote it because i felt the drive to, knowing it might never be seen by the only audience who'd know if it worked properly.
Did you share drafts of your poem with anyone else as you write? Do you find that helpful and if so how did doing so improve your poem?
i 'shared' its development on my thread, but don't recall much feedback. having said that, it helped putting it out there as i went, serving to clarify my own responses as i read it back from the screen as any audience might. looping between myself and myself, kinda. how egotistical
How does this poem differ from other poems you've written?
because of the horrific reality that inspired this, the human anguish, courage, survival and disturbed psychology, i tried that much harder to attain a viable 'truth' rather than just creating one for it, or allowing it to create its own.
What is American (or English, Canadian, Australian, or wherever you call home) about your poem?
i find that really hard to answer . . . i don't see anything particularly 'english' in it but, since the guy's an american, maybe the oil references and the religious thing with the 'god-light' as - oh, goodness, was i cashing in cheaply there? possibly. there was much discussion of oil and religion surrounding these attacks; i must have tapped into those.
Is your poem finished?
i don't know. it may never be rewritten, but that's not necessarily the same thing as finished.
Will you try to publish your poem or has it been published (somewhere besides Lit) already?
probably not. i got it out of my system, and it may not be the most tactful thing to try and spread through other outlets so i doubt i'd even try submitting it elsewhere.
ten years on...
do the nightmares still come
of the planes and the
crumbling towers?
i suppose that they would
till you wake
in the dark
in the dead
in the heart-choke, breath-broke
night
blind
afraid it's still real
stifling scream
incase
incase
encased
incase
no-one hears
not even you
with eyes glued
and blood pumps
pumps
heavy as crude
your minerals
a viscous slew
till fingers find
the panic button
the god-light
When did you begin writing this poem? What made you decide to write it?
looking back in my diversity thread, i can find version 3 dated may 2011 - not sure where v's 1&2 went, probably scrapped as the rest should have been.
discovering someone i spoke with on the general board had been in one of the tower buildings when it came down. i didn't want to ask them the question directly - it wouldn't have been fair, and far too intrusive. but it's a question i wanted answers for, and so set out looking for them, by some attempt at placing myself in their shoes. obviously i don't feel i can approach the person in question with a 'how close did i get?' kind of message, so will just have to let it be what it is.
How many times have you revised the poem and how much time has passed from your first draft to now?
at least 5, probably nearer 10 - not all made it past the submit button.
from v3 to subbing it properly, a month and a halfish, from start to now . . . *calculates* 2 years and five months, more or less. *surprised* it feels much longer, probably because of being so closely tied in with the person in the piece reliving the original experience in nightmares.
Do you believe the poem came from inspiration or was "received" in some way or was it just you putting the nuts and bolts of the lines together? Is there more art or craft in the poem?
part inspiration (the topic and the why i started to write it), the rest just trying to imagine myself trapped before rescue arrived and what it might do to one's dreams even ten years on. to be honest, i don't know if it's art or artifice - it is about attempting to feel something through another's p.o.v. No-one, unless they were there, will be able to tell me if i got anywhere close, and i'm not about to go pestering like some whore of a poor journalist.
How did your poem arrive at its current form? Is it a traditional form or does it follow rules you created as you worked on the poem? Did you use any particular techniques or poetic devices that you felt worked out well?
i write stuff first, mainly, then rationalise/justify after the fact. it began as the crudest idea, and got swapped up with each tinkering - cutting, dropping lines, amending phrases... i had no rules other than 'allow the poem its own voice'. looking back, i hope the short, broken lines help create the effect i was trying to feel of disorientation, near blind-panic, the awareness - somewhere - that it was a dream and not reality again.... guess i used sound, as usual, though that tends to spill naturally and isn't something i deliberately think about. ultimately, as remec said with his, i just wrote it as it sounded out, the line breaks where they fell as i spoke the words.
Was there anything unusual about how you wrote this poem?
*thinks*
i gave it more attention when editing than i might normally, kept struggling with it, wanting to capture the feeling correctly. it sounds all kinds of weird, and maybe not nice, but whilst i couldn't ask the person directly, i would like to think if they read it they'd feel i had got it right. horrible, since that in itself might trigger awful memories and so be at their expense
. guess i just wanted to do my best to show how a person might feel, make it real, even if all i had was imagination to work with. i still have no real idea about how right i was, but it's a bit late now to worry about it. How much of your poem is fact and how much fiction? Did you think about blending fact and fiction as you wrote it? Even if you consider the poem fiction, how are you in it?
all fiction, attempting to be fact.
i'm the one asking the question and, ultimately, answering it albeit through another person's imagined experience. *sighs*
Is your poem a story or something else and, if so, what?
it's an imagined event based upon the impact of a reality.
Do you remember what you were reading when you wrote this poem? If yes, what? Did any other poets or artists or events influence your poem?
not a clue. sorry.
only the approaching date later in the year, maybe some conversation over on the Gen Board about what was being planned re ceremonies etc..., discussion about should it be dropped now and wounds allowed to heal. scattered random stuff. no, no other artists/poets.
Did you write the poem for yourself or an audience? If you wrote for an audience, who are they? How do you envision your audience?
i wrote primarily to see if i could do it and get it right. how right would depend on feedback. it got very little and, as mentioned earlier, only those in the position the person had found himself in would really be able to tell me how close i got. and then again all people will have different responses. so, i guess i really wrote it because i felt the drive to, knowing it might never be seen by the only audience who'd know if it worked properly.
Did you share drafts of your poem with anyone else as you write? Do you find that helpful and if so how did doing so improve your poem?
i 'shared' its development on my thread, but don't recall much feedback. having said that, it helped putting it out there as i went, serving to clarify my own responses as i read it back from the screen as any audience might. looping between myself and myself, kinda. how egotistical
How does this poem differ from other poems you've written?
because of the horrific reality that inspired this, the human anguish, courage, survival and disturbed psychology, i tried that much harder to attain a viable 'truth' rather than just creating one for it, or allowing it to create its own.
What is American (or English, Canadian, Australian, or wherever you call home) about your poem?
i find that really hard to answer . . . i don't see anything particularly 'english' in it but, since the guy's an american, maybe the oil references and the religious thing with the 'god-light' as - oh, goodness, was i cashing in cheaply there? possibly.
there was much discussion of oil and religion surrounding these attacks; i must have tapped into those. Is your poem finished?
i don't know. it may never be rewritten, but that's not necessarily the same thing as finished.
Will you try to publish your poem or has it been published (somewhere besides Lit) already?
probably not. i got it out of my system, and it may not be the most tactful thing to try and spread through other outlets so i doubt i'd even try submitting it elsewhere.
Angeline
Poet Chick
- Joined
- Mar 11, 2002
- Posts
- 27,173
These are great. It is interesting to see the commonalities and the way poems are conceived.
Remec I spent some time (a few weeks) working on a project in Virginia Beach. It was so odd because we were in a ballroom of this grand hotel on the beach but working while everyone around us was on vacation. It seemed like a typical east coast beach town to me though more genteel than the ones in NJ. And a lot of mini-golf!
butters, I think your poem is very real and moving so you shouldn't feel that you were presuming to write it. I don't know that there is a right or wrong way to write about any tragedy or if anyone gets poetry cred for suffering more than someone else. We all suffer one way or another, nu?
Remec I spent some time (a few weeks) working on a project in Virginia Beach. It was so odd because we were in a ballroom of this grand hotel on the beach but working while everyone around us was on vacation. It seemed like a typical east coast beach town to me though more genteel than the ones in NJ. And a lot of mini-golf!
butters, I think your poem is very real and moving so you shouldn't feel that you were presuming to write it. I don't know that there is a right or wrong way to write about any tragedy or if anyone gets poetry cred for suffering more than someone else. We all suffer one way or another, nu?
butters
High on a Hill
- Joined
- Jul 2, 2009
- Posts
- 84,358
too much suffering in the world already. and no, i don't believe poetic cred can be measured by how much or the quality of it. thankyouThese are great. It is interesting to see the commonalities and the way poems are conceived.
Remec I spent some time (a few weeks) working on a project in Virginia Beach. It was so odd because we were in a ballroom of this grand hotel on the beach but working while everyone around us was on vacation. It seemed like a typical east coast beach town to me though more genteel than the ones in NJ. And a lot of mini-golf!
butters, I think your poem is very real and moving so you shouldn't feel that you were presuming to write it. I don't know that there is a right or wrong way to write about any tragedy or if anyone gets poetry cred for suffering more than someone else. We all suffer one way or another, nu?
Neonurotic
Share some skin
- Joined
- Apr 22, 2011
- Posts
- 1,405
Impermeable
The sky is wide open as is my mouth
while her unrequited love falls
and splits the ground.
Thunderstruck in the snow in the
only place in the world where it can.
This salty land, blowing wind
and ice that stings my eyes. Laughing,
or crying, I don't really know,
don't care, she confessed.
Sunrise sweet coffee and cake sits bitter,
like words that should've been said
long ago. It's too bad. I already moved on,
coattails waving at the shins, snapping
in step, one step at time until gone.
- When did you begin writing this poem? What made you decide to write it?
I wrote Impermeable a few years ago and basically did as my then wife told me that my son wasn't mine. I had suspected he wasn't mine when he turned one then resembling a friend of my ex rather than me. I don't know why I was "thunderstruck", not that her confession was much of a surprise. Maybe it was the shock of her finally confirming what I believed—lies had become so natural the truth was that disturbing.
- How many times have you revised the poem and how much time has passed from your first draft to now?
Once. The first draft was too close and raw so I didn't look at it again for a few years. When I moved to Utah I had some distance to how had felt then and since it was winter here when I looked at the poem again, I found a better metaphor.
- How much of your poem is fact and how much fiction?
Unfortunately, it's an absolute fact. I only write fiction for stories here on Literotica. My poems are true. And this is because I identify my poetry as the real me and my stories as my fantasies. Yes, that's corny, but it's always been that way since I've started posting at Lit 11 years ago.
- Did you write the poem for yourself or an audience? If you wrote for an audience, who are they? How do you envision your audience?
The first time it was purely for me, a cathartic thing to write. The revised is still meant for myself, but also for anyone who reads who has gone through something similar and able to distant themselves and let it all go.
- How does this poem differ from other poems you've written?
It's the only poem I've written about my ex that wasn't a love poem.
- Is your poem finished?
Yes done, like the relationship and I've full custody of my daughter (who is my daughter down to the knobby knees, black hair and blue eyes). I've moved on living a much happier life.
The sky is wide open as is my mouth
while her unrequited love falls
and splits the ground.
Thunderstruck in the snow in the
only place in the world where it can.
This salty land, blowing wind
and ice that stings my eyes. Laughing,
or crying, I don't really know,
don't care, she confessed.
Sunrise sweet coffee and cake sits bitter,
like words that should've been said
long ago. It's too bad. I already moved on,
coattails waving at the shins, snapping
in step, one step at time until gone.
- When did you begin writing this poem? What made you decide to write it?
I wrote Impermeable a few years ago and basically did as my then wife told me that my son wasn't mine. I had suspected he wasn't mine when he turned one then resembling a friend of my ex rather than me. I don't know why I was "thunderstruck", not that her confession was much of a surprise. Maybe it was the shock of her finally confirming what I believed—lies had become so natural the truth was that disturbing.
- How many times have you revised the poem and how much time has passed from your first draft to now?
Once. The first draft was too close and raw so I didn't look at it again for a few years. When I moved to Utah I had some distance to how had felt then and since it was winter here when I looked at the poem again, I found a better metaphor.
- How much of your poem is fact and how much fiction?
Unfortunately, it's an absolute fact. I only write fiction for stories here on Literotica. My poems are true. And this is because I identify my poetry as the real me and my stories as my fantasies. Yes, that's corny, but it's always been that way since I've started posting at Lit 11 years ago.
- Did you write the poem for yourself or an audience? If you wrote for an audience, who are they? How do you envision your audience?
The first time it was purely for me, a cathartic thing to write. The revised is still meant for myself, but also for anyone who reads who has gone through something similar and able to distant themselves and let it all go.
- How does this poem differ from other poems you've written?
It's the only poem I've written about my ex that wasn't a love poem.
- Is your poem finished?
Yes done, like the relationship and I've full custody of my daughter (who is my daughter down to the knobby knees, black hair and blue eyes). I've moved on living a much happier life.
Last edited:
Neonurotic
Share some skin
- Joined
- Apr 22, 2011
- Posts
- 1,405
No, thank you!
It's a bit difficult to decide on a poem to do an interview on. Glad/lucky I never had a whole thread, likely would've gone dead after the opening post.
Angeline
Poet Chick
- Joined
- Mar 11, 2002
- Posts
- 27,173
No, thank you!
It's a bit difficult to decide on a poem to do an interview on. Glad/lucky I never had a whole thread, likely would've gone dead after the opening post.
Oh that can still be arranged. I'm personally taking a break from doing the interviews right now to focus on my writing. But that doesn't mean they won't start up again or that someone else couldn't do one. Don't get too complacent about it.
Your poem is powerful and your explanation honest. I was moved by both.
bronzeage
I am a river to my people
- Joined
- Jun 20, 2005
- Posts
- 49,685
Blackberry Summer
When did you begin writing this poem? What made you decide to write it?
I believe it was late 2010. The line "Blackberry nipples show through your shirt," came to me and I knew it had to be used.
How many times have you revised the poem and how much time has passed from your first draft to now?
Do you believe the poem came from inspiration or was "received" in some way or was it just you putting the nuts and bolts of the lines together? Is there more art or craft in the poem?
There was definitely an inspiration. I can't say if there is art or craft, but once I had the first two lines, I was surprised how easy the rest came.
How did your poem arrive at its current form? Is it a traditional form or does it follow rules you created as you worked on the poem? Did you use any particular techniques or poetic devices that you felt worked out well?
I wanted brilliant and clear images.
Was there anything unusual about how you wrote this poem?
How much of your poem is fact and how much fiction? Did you think about blending fact and fiction as you wrote it? Even if you consider the poem fiction, how are you in it?
It's all fiction. Nothing like this ever happened. I have no problem blending fact and fiction, if it improves the work. I'll leave history to the historians.
Is your poem a story or something else and, if so, what?
It's certainly a story. There is a beginning, a middle and an end. There is a vague plot, complete with a climax and resolution.
Do you remember what you were reading when you wrote this poem? If yes, what? Did any other poets or artists or events influence your poem?
I can't say any poets influenced the poem, but the tshirt was a great influence.
Did you write the poem for yourself or an audience? If you wrote for an audience, who are they? How do you envision your audience?
Everything I write is for an audience. I can't write for my own amusement.
Did you share drafts of your poem with anyone else as you write? Do you find that helpful and if so how did doing so improve your poem?
Sometimes. It depends on who seems interested at the time.
How does this poem differ from other poems you've written?
There are four stanzas of ten lines each. Sort of an accident.
What is American (or English, Canadian, Australian, or wherever you call home) about your poem?
Are there blackberries on other continents?
Is your poem finished?
Yes. I can't imagine returning for a rewrite.
Will you try to publish your poem or has it been published (somewhere besides Lit) already?
It is posted on several internet forums, but nothing which could be considered published,
When did you begin writing this poem? What made you decide to write it?
I believe it was late 2010. The line "Blackberry nipples show through your shirt," came to me and I knew it had to be used.
How many times have you revised the poem and how much time has passed from your first draft to now?
Do you believe the poem came from inspiration or was "received" in some way or was it just you putting the nuts and bolts of the lines together? Is there more art or craft in the poem?
There was definitely an inspiration. I can't say if there is art or craft, but once I had the first two lines, I was surprised how easy the rest came.
How did your poem arrive at its current form? Is it a traditional form or does it follow rules you created as you worked on the poem? Did you use any particular techniques or poetic devices that you felt worked out well?
I wanted brilliant and clear images.
Was there anything unusual about how you wrote this poem?
How much of your poem is fact and how much fiction? Did you think about blending fact and fiction as you wrote it? Even if you consider the poem fiction, how are you in it?
It's all fiction. Nothing like this ever happened. I have no problem blending fact and fiction, if it improves the work. I'll leave history to the historians.
Is your poem a story or something else and, if so, what?
It's certainly a story. There is a beginning, a middle and an end. There is a vague plot, complete with a climax and resolution.
Do you remember what you were reading when you wrote this poem? If yes, what? Did any other poets or artists or events influence your poem?
I can't say any poets influenced the poem, but the tshirt was a great influence.
Did you write the poem for yourself or an audience? If you wrote for an audience, who are they? How do you envision your audience?
Everything I write is for an audience. I can't write for my own amusement.
Did you share drafts of your poem with anyone else as you write? Do you find that helpful and if so how did doing so improve your poem?
Sometimes. It depends on who seems interested at the time.
How does this poem differ from other poems you've written?
There are four stanzas of ten lines each. Sort of an accident.
What is American (or English, Canadian, Australian, or wherever you call home) about your poem?
Are there blackberries on other continents?
Is your poem finished?
Yes. I can't imagine returning for a rewrite.
Will you try to publish your poem or has it been published (somewhere besides Lit) already?
It is posted on several internet forums, but nothing which could be considered published,
UnderYourSpell
Gerund Whore
- Joined
- May 20, 2007
- Posts
- 15,794
Theme a little theme (of me)
How did your poem arrive at its current form? Is it a traditional form or does it follow rules you created as you worked on the poem? Did you use any particular techniques or poetic devices that you felt worked out well?
It's a Sestina and I suppose I wanted to prove that the form didn't have to be a heavy tome to work. When working on a form as strict as this I do use a format, putting the end words in their proper places and writing to those words.
Is your poem a story or something else and, if so, what?
It's based on Theme from a Summer Place by Percy Faith
Do you remember what you were reading when you wrote this poem? If yes, what? Did any other poets or artists or events influence your poem?
I had just read a very clever Sestina that comprised of just one word per line but I'm afraid I had to pad mine out some!
Did you write the poem for yourself or an audience? If you wrote for an audience, who are they? How do you envision your audience?
Well I had hoped the readers on here would see it for what it was, but I think it passed on by without much interest, but I still love it
Did you share drafts of your poem with anyone else as you write? Do you find that helpful and if so how did doing so improve your poem?
Not usually, until I've got it written to my liking it's a private thing. Sometimes I've read them to Ron and he listens politely but he's like many out there unless it rhymes it's not poetic enough!
Is your poem finished?
Yes, once it's out there it's on its own, sink or swim!
Will you try to publish your poem or has it been published (somewhere besides Lit) already?
I don't really know how to apart from buying expensive magazines, submitting and hoping someone someday may realise I'm the what the world is waiting for. I'm not holding my breath though.
Oh it's been on Facebook, does that count?
How did your poem arrive at its current form? Is it a traditional form or does it follow rules you created as you worked on the poem? Did you use any particular techniques or poetic devices that you felt worked out well?
It's a Sestina and I suppose I wanted to prove that the form didn't have to be a heavy tome to work. When working on a form as strict as this I do use a format, putting the end words in their proper places and writing to those words.
Is your poem a story or something else and, if so, what?
It's based on Theme from a Summer Place by Percy Faith
Do you remember what you were reading when you wrote this poem? If yes, what? Did any other poets or artists or events influence your poem?
I had just read a very clever Sestina that comprised of just one word per line but I'm afraid I had to pad mine out some!
Did you write the poem for yourself or an audience? If you wrote for an audience, who are they? How do you envision your audience?
Well I had hoped the readers on here would see it for what it was, but I think it passed on by without much interest, but I still love it
Did you share drafts of your poem with anyone else as you write? Do you find that helpful and if so how did doing so improve your poem?
Not usually, until I've got it written to my liking it's a private thing. Sometimes I've read them to Ron and he listens politely but he's like many out there unless it rhymes it's not poetic enough!
Is your poem finished?
Yes, once it's out there it's on its own, sink or swim!
Will you try to publish your poem or has it been published (somewhere besides Lit) already?
I don't really know how to apart from buying expensive magazines, submitting and hoping someone someday may realise I'm the what the world is waiting for. I'm not holding my breath though.
Oh it's been on Facebook, does that count?
twelveoone
ground zero
- Joined
- Mar 13, 2004
- Posts
- 5,882
ah. the areola of inspiration. Loved that poem, must be a guy thing. Somewhere in the boneyard lies an anatomy of it.
ah, c'mon on, surely you were amusing yourself
Neonurotic
Share some skin
- Joined
- Apr 22, 2011
- Posts
- 1,405
Oh that can still be arranged. I'm personally taking a break from doing the interviews right now to focus on my writing. But that doesn't mean they won't start up again or that someone else couldn't do one. Don't get too complacent about it.
Your poem is powerful and your explanation honest. I was moved by both.
Haha, complacent! No such luck on that, I'm much too twitchy.
Thank you for the compliment on my Interview poem. Also, for my newest poem.
I once thought of doing an illustrated poems for my Shutterclick series, but oddly enough, poetry in text fit better due to working with camera is more in the head then the actual image (the photo would impress a different poem altogether).
GuiltyPleasure
AWTSS
- Joined
- Jul 12, 2003
- Posts
- 14,131
La Piqure
It is no fault of mine
that I need your blood
to raise my young.
I see your death traps
designed to fry night time
fly-bys but did you know
it is your heat I seek
not the light?
I am no moth.
I scoff at every sizzling hit
even as I tenderly kiss your flesh.
So gentle am I as I enter you
that my presence is undetected until the itch.
My sisters risk the flattening slap
with every hungry piercing,
every bloody meal might be our last.
It’s not our fault our birthright
is your blood.
When did you begin writing this poem? What made you decide to write it?
This was written during the year-long contest in 2009 that Lauren Hynde compiled.
It was one of the “point-of-view” triggers, from the point of view of a mosquito.
I enjoy writing about unlikely poetic subject having written about fat ankles Sara , women’s public toilets Little Girl’s Room , vomiting, Puke (gone from Lit you'll be glad to hear) and Queasy Rider and multiple sclerosis in a variety of poems. Whether successfully I’m far from sure.
How many times have you revised the poem and how much time has passed from your first draft to now?
I’m not sure how many times but I did some revision when I decided to put it up for this thread.
It was submitted to Lit in mid-2009 but is no longer there.
Do you believe the poem came from inspiration or was "received" in some way or was it just you putting the nuts and bolts of the lines together? Is there more art or craft in the poem?
I think most of my poetry as crafted rather than artistic which is odd as I have painted in an earlier age.
In this case the inspiration was gifted to me so imagination and structure were the nuts and bolts.
How did your poem arrive at its current form? Is it a traditional form or does it follow rules you created as you worked on the poem? Did you use any particular techniques or poetic devices that you felt worked out well?
I used free form; the subject didn’t seem to call for any particular form.
The only device I use is to try and keep my reader engaged and persuaded that I know of which I write,
Was there anything unusual about how you wrote this poem?
It’s unusual that is was “required” writing. I usually wait for inspiration to find me.
I have recently been breaking my poems into smaller sound bytes, shorter lines, more or less as an experiment but La Piqure didn’t fell it was a candidate.
How much of your poem is fact and how much fiction? Did you think about blending fact and fiction as you wrote it? Even if you consider the poem fiction, how are you in it?
It’s scientifically factual but, obviously, a skeeter can’t talk so that’s fictional.
I did wonder how to put myself in the shoes – so to speak – of the insect.
I’m in it because I am the mosquito’s voice.
Is your poem a story or something else and, if so, what?
It is biographical.
Do you remember what you were reading when you wrote this poem? If yes, what? Did any other poets or artists or events influence your poem?
Lord no! I’ve read scores of books since 2009.
I’m dubious about using the influence of other poets I have read, I try to be as original as possible. Like Annie, my sestina Sweet Scarecrow was influenced by one of Bruce Meyer's but as far as I know that’s it.
Did you write the poem for yourself or an audience? If you wrote for an audience, who are they? How do you envision your audience?
If I’m honest I’d say for myself but it does please me if it catches the attention of someone else. I envision my audience as sophisticated and erudite.
Did you share drafts of your poem with anyone else as you write? Do you find that helpful and if so how did doing so improve your poem?
No, I’m a solitary writer. There is an 101 year old gentleman in England but he only likes my few rhyming poems- not my forte.
How does this poem differ from other poems you've written?
I don’t think it does.
What is American (or English, Canadian, Australian, or wherever you call home) about your poem?
Mosquitoes are international unfortunately.
Is your poem finished?
Yes
Will you try to publish your poem or has it been published (somewhere besides Lit) already?
Not likely.
It is no fault of mine
that I need your blood
to raise my young.
I see your death traps
designed to fry night time
fly-bys but did you know
it is your heat I seek
not the light?
I am no moth.
I scoff at every sizzling hit
even as I tenderly kiss your flesh.
So gentle am I as I enter you
that my presence is undetected until the itch.
My sisters risk the flattening slap
with every hungry piercing,
every bloody meal might be our last.
It’s not our fault our birthright
is your blood.
When did you begin writing this poem? What made you decide to write it?
This was written during the year-long contest in 2009 that Lauren Hynde compiled.
It was one of the “point-of-view” triggers, from the point of view of a mosquito.
I enjoy writing about unlikely poetic subject having written about fat ankles Sara , women’s public toilets Little Girl’s Room , vomiting, Puke (gone from Lit you'll be glad to hear) and Queasy Rider and multiple sclerosis in a variety of poems. Whether successfully I’m far from sure.
How many times have you revised the poem and how much time has passed from your first draft to now?
I’m not sure how many times but I did some revision when I decided to put it up for this thread.
It was submitted to Lit in mid-2009 but is no longer there.
Do you believe the poem came from inspiration or was "received" in some way or was it just you putting the nuts and bolts of the lines together? Is there more art or craft in the poem?
I think most of my poetry as crafted rather than artistic which is odd as I have painted in an earlier age.
In this case the inspiration was gifted to me so imagination and structure were the nuts and bolts.
How did your poem arrive at its current form? Is it a traditional form or does it follow rules you created as you worked on the poem? Did you use any particular techniques or poetic devices that you felt worked out well?
I used free form; the subject didn’t seem to call for any particular form.
The only device I use is to try and keep my reader engaged and persuaded that I know of which I write,
Was there anything unusual about how you wrote this poem?
It’s unusual that is was “required” writing. I usually wait for inspiration to find me.
I have recently been breaking my poems into smaller sound bytes, shorter lines, more or less as an experiment but La Piqure didn’t fell it was a candidate.
How much of your poem is fact and how much fiction? Did you think about blending fact and fiction as you wrote it? Even if you consider the poem fiction, how are you in it?
It’s scientifically factual but, obviously, a skeeter can’t talk so that’s fictional.
I did wonder how to put myself in the shoes – so to speak – of the insect.
I’m in it because I am the mosquito’s voice.
Is your poem a story or something else and, if so, what?
It is biographical.
Do you remember what you were reading when you wrote this poem? If yes, what? Did any other poets or artists or events influence your poem?
Lord no! I’ve read scores of books since 2009.
I’m dubious about using the influence of other poets I have read, I try to be as original as possible. Like Annie, my sestina Sweet Scarecrow was influenced by one of Bruce Meyer's but as far as I know that’s it.
Did you write the poem for yourself or an audience? If you wrote for an audience, who are they? How do you envision your audience?
If I’m honest I’d say for myself but it does please me if it catches the attention of someone else. I envision my audience as sophisticated and erudite.
Did you share drafts of your poem with anyone else as you write? Do you find that helpful and if so how did doing so improve your poem?
No, I’m a solitary writer. There is an 101 year old gentleman in England but he only likes my few rhyming poems
- not my forte. How does this poem differ from other poems you've written?
I don’t think it does.
What is American (or English, Canadian, Australian, or wherever you call home) about your poem?
Mosquitoes are international unfortunately.
Is your poem finished?
Yes
Will you try to publish your poem or has it been published (somewhere besides Lit) already?
Not likely.
bogusagain
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Feb 18, 2009
- Posts
- 844
Foucault's Pony
When did you begin writing this poem? What made you decide to write it?
I began or more accurately wrote the poem several years ago now. Maybe seven or eight years ago. Pat Carrington, Annaswirls and WikedEve were still around on Lit.
How many times have you revised the poem and how much time has passed from your first draft to now?
I pretty much wrote it in one, though it had been in my head for some time.
Do you believe the poem came from inspiration or was "received" in some way or was it just you putting the nuts and bolts of the lines together? Is there more art or craft in the poem?
The poem was inspired by warmongering politicians and their scabrous advisors and idiot fawning so called journalists.
How did your poem arrive at its current form? Is it a traditional form or does it follow rules you created as you worked on the poem? Did you use any particular techniques or poetic devices that you felt worked out well?
I wanted something disjointed and from multiple perspectives. I also wanted it performed. It was a polemic in a surreal sort of way.
Was there anything unusual about how you wrote this poem?
I didn't want ti to be a nice rhythmic poem. I wanted it to sound ugly, if that makes sense. I was quite clear this was not a poem for poetry's sake.
How much of your poem is fact and how much fiction? Did you think about blending fact and fiction as you wrote it? Even if you consider the poem fiction, how are you in it?
The poem is a fiction, it's subject is fact, which is about how power and knowledge, as used by the powers that be, control the minds of the masses.
Is your poem a story or something else and, if so, what?
It's a polemic and a scathing insult on people who blindly follow.
Do you remember what you were reading when you wrote this poem? If yes, what? Did any other poets or artists or events influence your poem?
I was reading Michel Foucault at the time.
Did you write the poem for yourself or an audience? If you wrote for an audience, who are they? How do you envision your audience?
A bit of both. It was meant to be cathartic but it was also meant for an audience.
Did you share drafts of your poem with anyone else as you write? Do you find that helpful and if so how did doing so improve your poem?
No. Not poetry anyway. Prose I do.
How does this poem differ from other poems you've written?
Before this I was trying to write poetry. After this, I just wanted to write in a way that expresses ideas best.
What is American (or English, Canadian, Australian, or wherever you call home) about your poem?
I'm not sure there is anything, other than the English language. I've lived on continental Europe for half my life in, France, Holland and Germany. I think I've absorbed the idea war is futile and I suppose after Europe has ripped itself apart twice in fifty years with somewhere between 70-100 million dead, the conclusion seems correct to me. There isn't the same idea as in English speaking countries of wars and interventions being positive.
Is your poem finished?
Yes. Although I wrote it quickly, it was exhausting and I haven't the will or the energy to touch it again.
Will you try to publish your poem or has it been published (somewhere besides Lit) already?
This, with my other favourite poems I have written, which are also multi-perspective or multi-voice, are unpublishable. Or that is what I have been told. That made me realise that I had probably hit on a style worth pursuing.
When did you begin writing this poem? What made you decide to write it?
I began or more accurately wrote the poem several years ago now. Maybe seven or eight years ago. Pat Carrington, Annaswirls and WikedEve were still around on Lit.
How many times have you revised the poem and how much time has passed from your first draft to now?
I pretty much wrote it in one, though it had been in my head for some time.
Do you believe the poem came from inspiration or was "received" in some way or was it just you putting the nuts and bolts of the lines together? Is there more art or craft in the poem?
The poem was inspired by warmongering politicians and their scabrous advisors and idiot fawning so called journalists.
How did your poem arrive at its current form? Is it a traditional form or does it follow rules you created as you worked on the poem? Did you use any particular techniques or poetic devices that you felt worked out well?
I wanted something disjointed and from multiple perspectives. I also wanted it performed. It was a polemic in a surreal sort of way.
Was there anything unusual about how you wrote this poem?
I didn't want ti to be a nice rhythmic poem. I wanted it to sound ugly, if that makes sense. I was quite clear this was not a poem for poetry's sake.
How much of your poem is fact and how much fiction? Did you think about blending fact and fiction as you wrote it? Even if you consider the poem fiction, how are you in it?
The poem is a fiction, it's subject is fact, which is about how power and knowledge, as used by the powers that be, control the minds of the masses.
Is your poem a story or something else and, if so, what?
It's a polemic and a scathing insult on people who blindly follow.
Do you remember what you were reading when you wrote this poem? If yes, what? Did any other poets or artists or events influence your poem?
I was reading Michel Foucault at the time.
Did you write the poem for yourself or an audience? If you wrote for an audience, who are they? How do you envision your audience?
A bit of both. It was meant to be cathartic but it was also meant for an audience.
Did you share drafts of your poem with anyone else as you write? Do you find that helpful and if so how did doing so improve your poem?
No. Not poetry anyway. Prose I do.
How does this poem differ from other poems you've written?
Before this I was trying to write poetry. After this, I just wanted to write in a way that expresses ideas best.
What is American (or English, Canadian, Australian, or wherever you call home) about your poem?
I'm not sure there is anything, other than the English language. I've lived on continental Europe for half my life in, France, Holland and Germany. I think I've absorbed the idea war is futile and I suppose after Europe has ripped itself apart twice in fifty years with somewhere between 70-100 million dead, the conclusion seems correct to me. There isn't the same idea as in English speaking countries of wars and interventions being positive.
Is your poem finished?
Yes. Although I wrote it quickly, it was exhausting and I haven't the will or the energy to touch it again.
Will you try to publish your poem or has it been published (somewhere besides Lit) already?
This, with my other favourite poems I have written, which are also multi-perspective or multi-voice, are unpublishable. Or that is what I have been told. That made me realise that I had probably hit on a style worth pursuing.
corndog_
Really Really Experienced
- Joined
- Sep 23, 2010
- Posts
- 369
This is really good, bb (I mean ba). Gritty, honest, stark.
I'm curious about the music-- it provides a serenity that seems to contradict the hostility of the text, yet keeps the poem from sliding into rant. What is it?
Well done.
Angeline
Poet Chick
- Joined
- Mar 11, 2002
- Posts
- 27,173
These are all great.
bogus I totally get what you mean when you say you wanted the poem to sound ugly. That's kind of meta-understanding to me, making the idea of the poem come across in every possible way.
On the subject of poem as multimedia, bogus knows this site, I'm sure, but if you are not familiar with Born Magazine you should check it out. They do some really interesting poetry and art collaborations.
bogus I totally get what you mean when you say you wanted the poem to sound ugly. That's kind of meta-understanding to me, making the idea of the poem come across in every possible way.
On the subject of poem as multimedia, bogus knows this site, I'm sure, but if you are not familiar with Born Magazine you should check it out. They do some really interesting poetry and art collaborations.
bogusagain
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Feb 18, 2009
- Posts
- 844
Thanks Butters. I haven't got anymore links. This one was just a sort of sketch to see if the idea would work. Now I know it does, I'll probably remake this one and make some more videos using the poems writen in a similar style. As I do them, I will post a link.
bogusagain
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Feb 18, 2009
- Posts
- 844
Thanks corndog. The music was just a loop I picked up of the net. I knew exactly the sound I wanted and just searched for it. I wanted something repetitive like Philip Glass, Michael Nyman or Steve Reich but I thought if I was puting the video on youtube, I'd better go for something without copyright.
butters
High on a Hill
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- Jul 2, 2009
- Posts
- 84,358
i'll look forward to them
bogusagain
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Feb 18, 2009
- Posts
- 844
I think we often do forget just how many dimensions a poem has in our effort to write poetry.
Thanks for the link Angie, it really looks interesting. I don't know the sie at all.
Angeline
Poet Chick
- Joined
- Mar 11, 2002
- Posts
- 27,173
It was years ago someone posted a link to that site here. It has always fascinated me.
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