Anal Play Help

[mortis]

Well solo play is a great way to get over your worst enemy which is going to be your mind. A lot of times people have it in their head that it will be painful or uncomfortable so when it starts happening they tense up and it just goes downhill from there.

Solo play will be great because it's on your terms which already helps you mentally. I'd recommend playing in a warm bath or shower which can help you relax and don't be afraid to use water based lube. Also start small with small toys and beads and then you can work your way up as you enjoy it more and become more comfortable with it.

Great tips we had success with a slim glass dildo. She was very tense as it went a little deeper she started to enjoy eventually she really enjoyed a slow fucking motion.

 

[AutumnBennett]

Great tips we had success with a slim glass dildo. She was very tense as it went a little deeper she started to enjoy eventually she really enjoyed a slow fucking motion.

Glass dildos are great for anal play. Another tip is realizing that right of the start like you said you don't need to be trying to go all in with whatever you're using. Progress slowly like you said.

 

[Bigboobbabe]

She should exhale slowly as you penetrate. Stop moving forward when she runs out of air and let her adjust. Then repeat. It is impossible to clench tight while exhaling. Your sphincter naturally relaxes.
Not all the way, but enough.

 

[littlebirdjoy]

What are your best anal play and sex suggestions?

I've read through this thread a couple times and I'm a bit baffled that no one has mentioned getting used to a plug.

So I've been working on anal fun since this past July. I had a few isolated experiences with it prior to that with mixed success. The first time was freaking amazing! He had done a great job getting me completely turned on, and that was my very first trip to subspace. After that I was with a jerk who had no kindness or mercy. I just happened to be married to the ass.

When I started town this road it was similar to people above, but I had no access to real "toys" so I was just using fingers and yes even the cringeworthy vegetable based implement. I know I know bad choice.

I got a very stern talking to about that from my now Partner who gave me some new safety rules for that until we could handle things more appropriately.
Last July i started wearing a plug on a regular basis. The goal was to get me worked up to pretty much anal only (which is where I am now). It took about 2 months to get used to wearing a 1.75inch neck plug with 4 inch depth and widest point of 2.5 inches. I wear it now whenever I'm awake.
After three weeks of that was the first time I attempted to use a toy that was the size of him. No it was not a vibrator, but a realistic dildo. I about lost my damn mind that I actually COULD and it did not hurt AT ALL. It was amazing. I couldnt quit saying "omg I'm doing it!" I was so shocked.

Now that doesnt mean that it was the end of the story. It took a couple of months more before the initial push didn't irritate at all. It used to take my breath away on occasion. By now between the plug and working with the dildo on a pretty regular basis I'm very much enjoying anal awesomeness. I actually prefer the overpowering sensation.

Unlike the people above, I do NOT use an enema or douche. We do not consider any potential mess an obstacle or issue. I find that the natural gel like anal mucous helps to make anal sex much easier and more enjoyable. (note that this mucous is rarely seen in quantities to be noticeable, but if you use an enema you will definitely be aware of its lack of presence. I've done both. For me, doing an enema and then doing anal vs just going for it so long as the rectum is free of waste is akin to sex while "dry". You'd need to use more lube and that isnt as long lasting for me or as effective as the body's natural lube.

Good luck! Have fun!
~Faithfully,
Angie

 

[ButtAnalMan]

What are your best anal play and sex suggestions? I want to do this more with my husband, but want to do some solo play first. I specifically want to get comfortable with double penetration with a butt plug while having sex and using my vibrator while he is in my ass. I've had anal sex a few times, but I know I wasn't warmed up enough and that I was tense about the potential mess.

I want your tips, tricks and encouragement. I get so turned on thinking about it, reading about it and seeing it, but then get nervous to get started. Thanks in advance.

Use different shapes and sizes of cucumber. either in and out with the speed that you like or keep it in place for long time. it really helps

 

[earthgirl69]

The first time I tried anal play, it really freaked me out. My partner was super caring and went really slow, lots of lube. He started with a finger, then two, then worked his way up to putting his whole cock in. The key for me was to just relax. I know it sounds counterproductive, but the less I thought about it and focused on where his hands were, the more I was able to get into it and enjoy it.

 

[LWulf]

Anal-eze or ecstasy help make you more receptive instead of wearing a butt plug for 3 weeks as LittleBirdJoy suggests. Besides, wearing a butt plug for longer that an hour in a day, and more often than once a week, especially with a wide "neck," cause the anal sphincter muscles to relax over time, permanently. The last thing you want is an asshole that forgets to keep closed.

Butt plug necks should be as small as possible, while the head can be any size.

If you go with anal-eze make sure it is compatible with the condom. Anal-eze numbs not only the asshole, but the pecker in it too, thus condom.

Alternatively again, you could do it old school. just prior to anal sex, one finger for one minute, two fingers for two minutes, then three fingers for three minutes, is the... rule of thumb.

Always remember what they said in the movie 'Evolution', "There's always time for lubricant!"

Some people experience negatives with enemas, as it not only wipes out nutrients your body was still digesting (causing fatigue, listlessness, etc), but it also wipes out good bacteria (depending on frequency of use, etc). As an alternative, some people simply don't eat for 24 prior to when they will engage in anal sex. You can still drink plenty of fluids, or clear liquid foods (like chicken soup (sans noodles)).

Something Nina Hartley (former anal pornstar and registered nurse) said that I'd like to state. if you use a dildo in your butt to prepare yourself for such activities, you need to know and understand the design of your asshole/rectum. You can rent her video "Nina Hartley's The Joys of Anal Sex" if you doubt me.

Most people think "It's a hole, you push something in, what else is there to know!" but it isn't just a hole, it's a tunnel, and the tunnel isn't always "straight." When you are standing up, or laying down prone, the tunnel is bent. Thus you should push forward (about an inch), then up.

If you are bending over (doggie style) or otherwise in a "sitting position"; this straightens the tunnel (for obvious reasons). Can you still engage in anal sex pushing straight up without pushing forward first? Yes, but it's potentially more harmful.

If you don't trust a pornstar/registered nurse, then you should discuss with your doctor which ways are safest, or might cause potential health issues. There are more issues at stake than reading the directions on the box of any over-the-counter medication, or apparatus.

 

[littlebirdjoy]

"Anal-eze or ecstasy help make you more receptive instead of wearing a butt plug for 3 weeks as LittleBirdJoy suggests. Besides, wearing a butt plug for longer that an hour in a day, and more often than once a week, especially with a wide "neck," cause the anal sphincter muscles to relax over time, permanently. The last thing you want is an asshole that forgets to keep closed."
There is zero medical backup for this statement. Please stop peddling pseudoscience and scare tactics.
https://www.healthline.com/health/healthy-sex/how-to-stretch-anus#elasticity
https://sexualityresources.com/ask-...tration/will-anal-sex-play-cause-incontinence
https://www.wellandgood.com/good-food/healthy-relationship-with-food/
Note that the thing that will cause that is doing any stretching without proper lube or stretching the muscle past the point of elasticity repeatedly. a 2 1/2 inch diameter plug will not do that. Now shove a gargantuan plug up there for 8 hours at a time and then you might have issues. :/ but ad the good people with PhDs in this will tell you, your body will make it VERY clear before you are in any danger of that, and you can't miss that pain.
Quite the contrary EVERY Doctor will warn you NOT TO USE numbing lube that you suggest as it will prevent you from feeling and responding to those important pain receptors reading is good folks!

 

[LWulf]

...
There is zero medical backup for this statement. Please stop peddling pseudoscience and scare tactics...

I imagine I'll be seeing you in the How to... Dealing with Fecal Incontinence threads in the future (not my choice of terms, but that's what doctors call it when an asshole doesn't stretch back. Their term refers to the effect, instead of the cause). A pussy can also experience incontinence after being stretched open for a length of time, for instance during natural child birth. Those muscles don't snap back, although a pussy isn't considered a sphincter muscle (there's actually several in the human body).

I don't have links to the medical websites that taut "keeping your asshole stretched for any length of time is baaaad" that I looked up years ago. I don't have links to "does anal sex lead to fecal incontinence" medical journal websites, where they said essentially that anal sex seems to cause some incontinence problems, but much more so when you "push your body's limits."

Anal sex only lasts 5-10 minutes. That's only stretching the anal sphincter for a short amount of time compared to leaving it stretched all day long. Talk about "peddling pseudo science"? Show me a medical website that says it's completely a-okay to have your asshole stretched open for hours, or days at a time.
That's what you might call "pushing your body's limits."

Sex practitioners and pornstars don't have medical posting websites, which is strange because they have the most amount of HARD DATA about performing sex acts. I don't have links to porn star videos, or interviews where they caution against being stretched open for hours at a time, let alone days. I don't have links to videos I've watched where pornstars review butt plugs and advise people to use "the smallest neck possible (on their butt plugs)."

I can't show links, because there are no links to a TV. I can't show links to websites from years ago when I looked into it. I can't link to a discussion with my doctor who slapped me up the side of my head when I took over-the-counter vitamins which said "take once daily" but the label didn't mention that prolonged use may have adverse effects. So "reading is good" isn't always enough. I can't show links to research I did years ago.

Because showing links isn't a prerequisite for expressing an opinion, in this forum.

For the record, I completely agree that using anal-ese or ecstasy will cause lack of sensation. That's the point of using those products. Ecstasy causes a relaxed all-over sensation and reduces inhabition, while anal-ese is only a topical application which numbs the anus, you will still feel something going wrong inside.

Note: I didn't mention that pushing a little cocaine up the asshole will both make the person more receptive to anal sex, and relax their rectal muscles in that regard. I didn't mention that using an ice cube also numbs the asshole, because it also hardens the rectal tissue and make anal fissures more likely. I only mentioned alternatives that aren't addictive and more likely to do harm. I only mentioned alternatives that are commonly used and have less chance of harm. UNLIKE putting a butt plug up your ass, for days, and that has a thick neck.

 

[PaxNurgle]

Really good advice; Anal virgins are usually really tight back there, as I learned. Before my ex partner and I got into anal play She told me to try inserting progressively larger plugs to gradually stretch my bunghole. Before taking my "anal virginity" She had me buy a set of 3 silicone plugs- the largest being roughly 1.75-2" x 5.5" deep, to stretch the spincter and get it used to being penetrated. We worked up from that to Her ultimately taking me with a 10" purple plastic appendage-= I couldn't believe the size of it when she pegged me with it. The feeling of being violated by Her like that was pretty intense; probably the most intense subspace I have ever felt. Plus, I am ashamed and maybe a little embarrassed to admit, a little perverse pride in it as well.

 

[naughtymind]

I’m surprised to see anal eze still being recommended. I thought that was long ago renounced for pretty substantial reasons. For the record I have no personal experience with it, or any other desensitizing products. It was solidly recommended against in my Sex Ed classes, plus it just seems completely contrary to the experience. Why numb the intense physical sensations? Isn’t that half the fun? I’m no doctor, but in my humble opinion if someone is unable to relax sufficiently without any artificial substances, they aren’t ready for anal sex. Yet

 

[LWulf]

You know what I hear produces more anal injury? Lubricants! Because they create such reduced amount of friction, they encourage speed which produces damaging effects which is the same rationale that you lot recommend against using numbing agents.

So, are we going to foolishly jump on the "don't encourage lubricants" bandwagon too???

Pornstars have used anal numbing agents for years. Some don't like to use them, because they know how to mentally relax themselves, and know how it goes down because they've had it many, many times. However, we're not talking about pornstars but beginners who might have a "oh my god! He wants to put that huge thing in my tiny asshole?!?"

To get them out past the gate of "oh my god, it won't fit! it won't fit! ...oh my god, it fits?" it makes a modicum of sense to use a desensitizer. Desensitizers are like training wheels. You don't go 60mph with training wheels on. You go slow and carefully until you get used to it, then you take off the training wheels, and go faster.

If you are doing anal sex with someone that has a high chance of wrecking your rectum? THAT'S someone who shouldn't be having anal sex. Regardless of desensitizers or lack thereof.

 

[littlebirdjoy]

Or you do the responsible thing and get mental stress like Pax and i both just suggested, and get to the pint you re really and truly comfortable and capable of mentally relaxing into things instead of taking the training wheels and putting them on a motorbike.

Different mentalities. Good luck with that. My advice stands and has more than enough medical backing.

 

[Conager]

I have a suggestion for the pre-anal clean-out. You only need to cleanse the rectum - if you put a whole lot of water up there, it will flood the lower intestine and bring down all kinds of stuff, and probably at an inappropriate moment. I use typically three small rinses of no more than 1/3 cup or 80 mls. each. Hold each for a minute or two, get up and move around a bit, then expel. Usually by the third one you are pretty clean. Hope this helps!

I got a chuckle at the appropriateness of your name.

 

[naughtymind]

You know what I hear produces more anal injury? Lubricants! Because they create such reduced amount of friction, they encourage speed which produces damaging effects which is the same rationale that you lot recommend against using numbing agents.
.

Funny, that’s the very first and only time I’ve heard that. From plenty of personal experiences, I find that blatantly false. Lubrications don’t encourage reckless thrusting, though I’m sure there are idiots out there who would be so inclined (well lubed or not). They do help to provide easier entry and more pleasurable sensations, while in no way masking any of the physical warning signs to stop, slow down, or pull out. Numbing agents have been advised against for decades due to legitimate concerns, and the training wheel analogy doesn’t exactly fit. Training wheels would be analogous to experimenting with fingers, small toys, etc until comfortable to try more. Along with really listening to your body, this is an excellent strategy.

 

[A_E_G]

Here are a few tips:
1. Get a set or two of black towels for the bedroom. Lay one under the playee, use a smaller one to wrap toy(s) on the way to the sink.
2. Get a box of disposable black nitrile gloves for the player. If there are longish nails involved, stuff a bit of cotton ball into the tips before putting them on.
3. Get a small container of coconut oil for the bedroom, and mini Dixie cups to put a serving in so you don't contaminate the jar.
4. Reusable lube syringes are a thing, and work with even solidified coconut oil. Clean between uses, of course!
5. Silicone toys are more comfortable than glass, and also easy to clean without risk of breaking if dropped.
6. Smooth is more comfortable in the ass than textured or lifelike.
7. ALWAYS use flared toys in the ass. Consequences of ignoring this advice can be dire.

 

[LWulf]

Funny, that’s the very first and only time I’ve heard that. From plenty of personal experiences, I find that blatantly false. Lubrications don’t encourage reckless thrusting, though I’m sure there are idiots out there who would be so inclined (well lubed or not). ...

...and because you've never heard of something before, it doesn't exist! Brilliant! And I've never experienced my cock slipping out of the pussy, and accidentally going up the ass, so it too must be an urban legend that never happens, because guys are always careful about such things!

I'd say your argument is equally funny, but it's more worthy of tears.

 

[Sheana_V]

I'm experienced receiving, I've talked to friends, and watched Nina Hartley's video and here's my advice.

- Wash thoroughly beforehand. Ideally eat lots of fiber that day, and evacuate beforehand.
- However much lube you are planning to use, use a little more than that,
- Use Oil or Silicone lube. Do not use Oil based lube with Latex condoms.
- Go slow. However slow you are thinking of going, go slower than that. Do not start learning anal sex by prerelaxing your sphincter, consider that an advanced technique to get pounded quickly. You are not going to find any benefit your first few times.
- The easiest position is on your back with your legs in the air. Bent over is one of the hardest.
- Please don't ever use chemicals, drugs, or numbing agents. You do not want to damage your sphincter.