Thinking about my early crushes and such...
Oh what might have been. I refused to admit it to myself but I had crushes on a few girls early in my sexual development. I had countless ways to explain how I felt that never included being bi or gay but that's a whole other sorry tale.
My cousin, Amanda, was one of my first crushes. She's three years older than me and developed earlier as well so she would visit and was like a goddess of femininity. (I later was blessed with larger breasts than her, nyah nyah!). I just loved hanging around with her and always wanted to do sleep overs. I would watch her change or find reasons to go in to the bathroom when she was showering. Early on, we'd share a bed during a sleep over which prompted masturbation sessions after she left. Sadly, that was only the first few times, after that she wanted to sleep in her own bed. I'll never forget the perfume she wore or the way her hair smelled (straight, black hair chin length). I had no idea what I wanted I just knew I wanted more... I wanted to touch her... somehow...
I still think of her from time to time. We haven't seen each other in person since I "came out" to myself but I'd love to. She's become a beautiful woman.
Love the way you write!! Gets me so turned on!!!
