Anonymouty and letting your guard down in a Ds online relationship

[CutieMouse]

Smart, maybe, but 3 years and he still thinks you're gonna show up in his driveway pulling a Lloyd Dobler?
That's a little too cautious for me.

Nah... it's become a bit of an inside joke. Plus, I have occasionally utilized his mad internet skills for my own research.

 

[MeekMe]

I'm not so cautious about things I guess. I mean, I have 7+ e-mail accounts that I use for different things. I double check privacy settings and try to make informed decisions. I suppose I've been a little lax with my face lately. I would like to say I'm more careful, but I know that I'm not. I chalk it up to making a decision based on the information I have and I guess I'll deal with the consequences if/when it becomes necessary. So far, the feels got meh.

┐(︶▽︶)┌

 

[xxxSubSamxxx]

You mean giving out my SS# was wrong?

I go by instinct. A few people here know where I live, my full name, my FB, I've talked with on the phone, and have seen various body parts and *gasp* my face was attached!!! Whatever, blah de blah.

I've been friends with online peeps for years, and have met most of them. My kids have even met a few.
We are just people, folks.

The ones I don't really trust or want to get to know better don't get past Lit, or KIK.

There have been a couple of times I misjudged character or intention of another person. Luckily, I was able to cut it off without worrying about someone tapping on my kitchen window.

See I like this boldness and confidence, you sound like me. I want to make a connection with real people not just virtual anonymous people. I like this very much. Being overcautious can inhibit getting to know people, and are internet people really that malicious? Can I not give them the benefit of the doubt?

Thanks for your post xx

 

[xxxSubSamxxx]

Yes, create a fake email account. You can create as many as you want. Set one up that's subsamxxx@yahoo or whatever.

I think - as Farawyn says - if you have good instinct and have been online in different groups for a long time, you'll be fine.

However, my sense is you're pretty new to this. You're having issues setting up a yahoo account. Maybe it's the new yahoo messenger or that you're on the phone?? You aren't sure if you can set up a fake email account. Of course you can!

Just be a little more careful until you really get a sense of people.

Yes I am inexperienced, I have no idea why my lit account says I am really experienced? But I have been posting for over a year and had a few online experiences, that doesn't make me experienced in the least.

There is something wrong with my yahoo set up, KIK was much easier to set up, but the downfall is I can't get it on my laptop where I can type more lol. I have a lot to say if you hadn't noticed hahaha. I am not sure I even enjoy online Ds relationships as much as RL as they don't really go the distance. Is it just free porn for the Dom?

 

[xxxSubSamxxx]

Food for thought-

I have a friend I initially met through an OKCupid ad, who happens to also be on Fet. Nice guy; we grab dinner once a month or so.

He work in IT, and all he needed to find my date of birth, full name & address was my first name, Fet profile picture and phone number. He had all of that information before we even met for drinks the first time, just because I gave him my # in case something came up and he had to cancel. I figured a text was quicker/easier than email through OKC or Fet.

Guess who got a HUGE lecture about internet safety the first time we had drinks?

We've been having monthly dinners for almost 3 years now. I still don't know his last name, or what suburb he lives in, and the# I have that we text in is a Google phone# that is tied to a throw away email account he uses for Fet & dating. Dude is waaaaaaaaay smarter about online anything than I am; I'm lucky he isn't an ax murderer . lol

Wow this just goes to show, if someone really wants to find out about you they have ways. If people are going to use their abilities to be malicious they will find a way. I don't want this experience to cloud my trusting nature, I don't want to be suspicious, but it certainly makes you think carefully.

The good thing is he didn't use your details against and empty your bank account. I suppose balance is required, a little caution and a little trust or we would become hermits xx

 

[xxxSubSamxxx]

Internet safety was one of the first things I learned from a daddy who was mentoring me. No pictures of my face, how to set up an email account, KIK, and Skype accounts separate from my personal accounts. Even meeting in person. Safety is of utmost importance. After a year, he finally told me his first name, and we will meet soon. Only he and two other people know my cellphone number.

But my online Daddy is different. He shares his life with me openly, and I trust Him more than anyone (but he's been my Dom for more than 7 months!) He is the only one from Lit that I've talked face to face on Hangouts and he knows my first and last name because it's connected to my personal Google account, though two others have seen my face before I got the safety lecture.

It's good you know how to do it all anonymously now, but I can't seem to get my skype to be anonymous, they all seem to want phone numbers, but I am fiddling around with it. The thing is I have never had a Dom I went that far with to sex video chat, so I am very inexperienced and not sure if sex video chat with someone anonymous is what I want xx

 

[xxxSubSamxxx]

I'm not so cautious about things I guess. I mean, I have 7+ e-mail accounts that I use for different things. I double check privacy settings and try to make informed decisions. I suppose I've been a little lax with my face lately. I would like to say I'm more careful, but I know that I'm not. I chalk it up to making a decision based on the information I have and I guess I'll deal with the consequences if/when it becomes necessary. So far, the feels got meh.

┐(︶▽︶)┌

Good for you MeekMe you seem very experienced and sensible, so if you want to get personal with your face good for you. I am not shy and I don't have many inhibitions, I just fee uncomfortable when I am being open about my identity and the person I am talking to is being anonymous. IT doesn't seem fair to me xx

 

[subtle_Dom]

Just my opinion but I would just urge anyone to be somewhat cautious and use their common sense. you can still have a great connection without sharing last names or other very personal information right off the bat. I will share my first name and roughly where I live when I meet someone. For example, I might say what I do for work but not give the company name. Conversations without specific names can still reveal who I am and let me get to know someone as I build a friendship.

Just to let you know where I am coming from, before lit I was part of the yahoo community within yahoo games (long since gone).. Similar to what cutiemouse said, there were people who could get all of your personal info from very little info(some used just IP address). Some were not so kind. There were a few that would literally call up work places or family members and tell (or make up) the person's activities within the social community. I realize this is extreme to make a point and I have not seen any of that in lit, but I think it is never a bad idea to use some caution and build trust gradually. If someone becomes a true trusted friend over a period of time, then share what you are comfortable with, but I would never share detailed personal information right away before you really knew the person. I also believe that it needs to be a two way street if you are sharing.

Not trying to be negative, and those situations may be rare or never happen but it only takes one time. I just hope that all have safe fun.

 

[SensualSam]

.....

 

[xxxSubSamxxx]

Just my opinion but I would just urge anyone to be somewhat cautious and use their common sense. you can still have a great connection without sharing last names or other very personal information right off the bat. I will share my first name and roughly where I live when I meet someone. For example, I might say what I do for work but not give the company name. Conversations without specific names can still reveal who I am and let me get to know someone as I build a friendship.

Just to let you know where I am coming from, before lit I was part of the yahoo community within yahoo games (long since gone).. Similar to what cutiemouse said, there were people who could get all of your personal info from very little info(some used just IP address). Some were not so kind. There were a few that would literally call up work places or family members and tell (or make up) the person's activities within the social community. I realize this is extreme to make a point and I have not seen any of that in lit, but I think it is never a bad idea to use some caution and build trust gradually. If someone becomes a true trusted friend over a period of time, then share what you are comfortable with, but I would never share detailed personal information right away before you really knew the person. I also believe that it needs to be a two way street if you are sharing.

Not trying to be negative, and those situations may be rare or never happen but it only takes one time. I just hope that all have safe fun.

Thanks for sharing your experience, I would like to more about the fun, what exactly did you do whilst still being anonymous and why it was fun for you and your online partners if you can call them that?

 

[CutieMouse]

Wow this just goes to show, if someone really wants to find out about you they have ways. If people are going to use their abilities to be malicious they will find a way. I don't want this experience to cloud my trusting nature, I don't want to be suspicious, but it certainly makes you think carefully.

The good thing is he didn't use your details against and empty your bank account. I suppose balance is required, a little caution and a little trust or we would become hermits xx

I think you misunderstand... my friend does that (researches who he's meeting) with anyone he meets online. Not out of malicious intent, but self- protection. Men get scammed online, too.

OP, it sounds to me like you think online is all a game, or that an abundance of caution is overkill, but my point is that it doesn't take much for someone to find out enough to blackmail someone, or figure out how to harass them at work, or become a stalker.

It isn't going to ruin anyone's online [free live porn] experience to set up a Google number to use for online activities, or a separate email account. It isn't being dishonest, or unauthentic, or lying, to only use a screen nic or first name. It isn't a failure of trust to give a generic "I live in x part of the country", instead of city and state.

 

[xxxSubSamxxx]

I think you misunderstand... my friend does that (researches who he's meeting) with anyone he meets online. Not out of malicious intent, but self- protection. Men get scammed online, too.

OP, it sounds to me like you think online is all a game, or that an abundance of caution is overkill, but my point is that it doesn't take much for someone to find out enough to blackmail someone, or figure out how to harass them at work, or become a stalker.

It isn't going to ruin anyone's online [free live porn] experience to set up a Google number to use for online activities, or a separate email account. It isn't being dishonest, or unauthentic, or lying, to only use a screen nic or first name. It isn't a failure of trust to give a generic "I live in x part of the country", instead of city and state.

Sorry yes I misunderstood. Sorry.

 

[cookiecat]

Thanks for sharing your experience, I would like to more about the fun, what exactly did you do whilst still being anonymous and why it was fun for you and your online partners if you can call them that?

SubSamxxx - what are you looking for? Have you done any online "fun"??? I'll let subtle_dom speak for himself but you can talk on phone, you can Skype, you can text, you can cam and you can just talk or type and touch yourself. You can point the cam to just your junk and jerk off while being directed, you can text and just use your imagination.... Right??

Just jump in and have some fun.

 

[xxxSubSamxxx]

SubSamxxx - what are you looking for? Have you done any online "fun"??? I'll let subtle_dom speak for himself but you can talk on phone, you can Skype, you can text, you can cam and you can just talk or type and touch yourself. You can point the cam to just your junk and jerk off while being directed, you can text and just use your imagination.... Right??

Just jump in and have some fun.

I haven't decided what I am looking for, and I don't know what I find fun. Just exploring and drawing from other peoples experiences?

Thanks for your participation on my thread, I enjoy conversing with you xx

 

[Farawyn]

I haven't decided what I am looking for, and I don't know what I find fun. Just exploring and drawing from other peoples experiences?

Thanks for your participation on my thread, I enjoy conversing with you xx

Do you have someone in mind? Why don't you see his/her comfort level as well?

 

[Primalex]

The first mistake people do is to think they are anonymous. People on the internet are pseudonymous, not anonymous. Once a pseudonym is compromised any time in the future, all the past immediately becomes traceable, too.

The best protection is actually to not be an asshole to a stranger just because you feel you are anonymous.

 

[barefootgirl69]

Believe it or not, there are some who actually don't care about your real name, age, marital status. They are here to enjoy a certain level of play... and you can still be who you are (it's called character ) no matter if you discuss or share these things.

Don't over think it, Sam. xx

 

[HomewardBound41]

I've had exactly one online experience thus far, and I actually felt more comfortable exchanging a bit of life info with this person. To me, it makes it a bit more personal and it's not like he was digging for information that would compromise me on a personal level. More of a "get to know you" type deal. Go with comfort level. Having perused the boards, read what others have to say and watched peoples interactions with one another - I can truthfully say there are certain people I would feel very comfortable getting to know (and/or play with) and certain others that there's no way, they give me the ickies. Watch what people say and how they speak to one another, look to see where common interests may lie (if that's something you want in an online thing), and take your time. You can afford to be choosy.

 

[Farawyn]

Believe it or not, there are some who actually don't care about your real name, age, marital status. They are here to enjoy a certain level of play... and you can still be who you are (it's called character ) no matter if you discuss or share these things.

Don't over think it, Sam. xx

I agree. I agree with you, Cutie Mouse and subtle Dom.
If anyone came at me, guns blaring and asking for all that I would balk.
Like Primalex says, if they really want to find out, they can.

Hell, TC saw my entire open FB page the other night when I grabbed the wrong tab.

I'm just saying, with friends especially, I don't see what the harm is. I've ONLY had good experiences.

But yea, there are people here I interact with daily and I have no idea what their real names are, where they live or whatever.
Then I have my deep friends. cookie and NO come to mind.

I am growing more curious about what OP actually wants.

 

[NOIRTRASH]

I come here to browse, and always leave with my head spinning from the gross bull shit I find here.

I invented dominance, and what I find here is the worst sort of pretend.

Real dominance is whats called COMMAND PRESENCE. Go anyplace fulla strangers, and youll sense the dominant's command presence. We got it by the balls, and its purring.

Around a real dom youll spill your guts almost immediately, you wont trust Jesus more.

The whole business is about intense intimacy. Control has nothing to do with it.

 

[Farawyn]

I come here to browse, and always leave with my head spinning from the gross bull shit I find here.

I invented dominance, and what I find here is the worst sort of pretend.

Real dominance is whats called COMMAND PRESENCE. Go anyplace fulla strangers, and youll sense the dominant's command presence. We got it by the balls, and its purring.

Around a real dom youll spill your guts almost immediately, you wont trust Jesus more.

The whole business is about intense intimacy. Control has nothing to do with it.

This is interesting, but I don't think it's what the OP is saying.
FWIW, I think I may agree with you.

 

[NOIRTRASH]

This is interesting, but I don't think it's what the OP is saying.
FWIW, I think I may agree with you.

When OPs make no sense I punt. Its like when a drunk called me on the crisis line and said, I'M GONNA BLOW MY FUGGIN BRAINS OUT. I replied, OK, and hung up on him. No call back number, no clue where he was. He called me back, so my punt was the right thing to do and say. He wasn't expecting an OK, he expected alarm and begging. So when an OP says I'M HAVING ELVIS' BABY AND YOU CANT STOP ME! I punt.

 

[FurryFury]

In a day and age of reality TV, and media striving to make everyone transparent, it might seem like a good idea to drop your guard and all information right away. I don't think it's safe or wise to do so.

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

I come here to browse, and always leave with my head spinning from the gross bull shit I find here.

I invented dominance, and what I find here is the worst sort of pretend.

Know what I'm thinking you should do? Not come here to browse. See how I just made your life better!

Also, thanks again for inventing dominance, because, fuck, it's pretty great. (Also, I'm gonna be late again with my royalties check, and I'm really sorry for that.)

 

[MastersDelight]

Know what I'm thinking you should do? Not come here to browse. See how I just made your life better!

Also, thanks again for inventing dominance, because, fuck, it's pretty great. (Also, I'm gonna be late again with my royalties check, and I'm really sorry for that.)

http://i.imgur.com/R0sFWIW.jpg