Any success stories or advice on guiding repressed/religious spouse to sexual fun and freedom?

[MH2024hot]

Yes there lies "a" not all the problem.... Leaves people so unprepared for what follows.

We could talk for eons on "from whom does this come" but there probably a ain't enough electrons on this server. Lol

I can relate. When dating, we were daring by church standards (me sucking her breasts, she gave a lap dance and I orgasmed) but then we felt guilty and dialed it back. Then marriage and sex once every 2-3 weeks as newlyweds. 25 years later...

I'm lucky I have freedom to push the envelope now. She trusts me even after a poorly timed (for me) 3 week sermon series on sex, lust and porn when I'm right in the middle of working on opening her to more erotic viewpoints. Geesh. But I pushed back, openly disputed some (not all) of what was said, used some reason and logic and nuance, and she literally complemented me on my thoughts. So I'm in a better position than ever! Just trying to navigate and take it slow, don't push too hard too soon.

I mean this is someone who journals about Scripture every day, leads a Bible study which I'm happy for her to do, it's great, but we are steeped in this purity culture undercurrent. However, I am getting her thinking in terms of "married couples have freedom" like me masturbating to "erotica" (with her), sex toys and such. But I realize now it could be a lot worse. I sympathize with those who face a brick wall in their spouses.

Update: She offered for me to write an erotic story which I'm working on. She changed her mind from a few weeks ago, didn't seem interested and now she is asking when she can read it. Who is this woman?
But I'm seizing the opportunity. I'd like to start small/a little vanilla on the story lines and work my way up to some nice, raunchy stories and 3 way fantasy type themes (slow and steady)

 

[Tweedledude]

I can relate. When dating, we were daring by church standards (me sucking her breasts, she gave a lap dance and I orgasmed) but then we felt guilty and dialed it back. Then marriage and sex once every 2-3 weeks as newlyweds. 25 years later...

I'm lucky I have freedom to push the envelope now. She trusts me even after a poorly timed (for me) 3 week sermon series on sex, lust and porn when I'm right in the middle of working on opening her to more erotic viewpoints. Geesh. But I pushed back, openly disputed some (not all) of what was said, used some reason and logic and nuance, and she literally complemented me on my thoughts. So I'm in a better position than ever! Just trying to navigate and take it slow, don't push too hard too soon.

I mean this is someone who journals about Scripture every day, leads a Bible study which I'm happy for her to do, it's great, but we are steeped in this purity culture undercurrent. However, I am getting her thinking in terms of "married couples have freedom" like me masturbating to "erotica" (with her), sex toys and such. But I realize now it could be a lot worse. I sympathize with those who face a brick wall in their spouses.

Update: She offered for me to write an erotic story which I'm working on. She changed her mind from a few weeks ago, didn't seem interested and now she is asking when she can read it. Who is this woman?
But I'm seizing the opportunity. I'd like to start small/a little vanilla on the story lines and work my way up to some nice, raunchy stories and 3 way fantasy type themes.

Wow

 

[MH2024hot]

For my wife yes, it's absolutely based on the church and how she was raised. She has made many comments about what she was taught as a young girl and teenager about sex and sex being sinful. FWIW she was raised as a Lutheran. I have no idea what she might have actually been taught in church, Sunday school, etc. but that's always been her excuse for not doing certain things in the bedroom. For all I know it might have been her mother (certified batshit crazy BTW) clutching a Bible and lecturing her about sex that put it all in her head.

My wife had this "my parents were really conservative" line which she used for years and years whenever we talked about it and I finally (lovingly) told her that it wasn't going to fly anymore. I said I'm getting older and we need to start to enjoy sex in new ways now together.

I would have never even thought of asking her to look at an adult magazine with me based on our purity culture upbringing but I conceived it partly as a smack down of her church girl mentality. It's a response to where we were ("all porn/erotica is completely evil") and where we are heading now ("hey honey, can you hold up this pic of Sunny Leoni while I shoot my cum all over her?"). It's therapy.

 

[Letsgo1982]

A christian nympho Lit thread would be nice

There are definitely enough of us here

 

[Tweedledude]

There are definitely enough of us here

Agreed

 

[Letsgo1982]

So I made one - not sure it will go anywhere - https://forum.literotica.com/threads/a-christian-nympho-group-discussion-q-a-support.1617844/

 

[MH2024hot]

For my wife yes, it's absolutely based on the church and how she was raised. She has made many comments about what she was taught as a young girl and teenager about sex and sex being sinful. FWIW she was raised as a Lutheran. I have no idea what she might have actually been taught in church, Sunday school, etc. but that's always been her excuse for not doing certain things in the bedroom. For all I know it might have been her mother (certified batshit crazy BTW) clutching a Bible and lecturing her about sex that put it all in her head.

That's hard. Parental influence was an issue for my wife as well but in their case it was more well meaning, old fashioned type people who couldn't talk openly about it and when they did, it was frequently in the negative. They would have said married sex is great but no specifics and it's unhelpful after year's of "can't do this," and "don't think about that" etc.

Is she open to reconsidering her views when you talk to her about it, or won't entertain it at all, or how does she respond?

As an example, our pastor said erotic novels were a negative influence period but my wife reconsidered when we discussed that Song of Solomon was clearly erotic so doesn't matter if it's in the Bible or from Barnes and Noble (with some limits). I'm fortunate that's she's open, but I also had to press the issue a bit.

 

[Tweedledude]

Have a great day all hopefully we can find joy and peace on this wonderful Wednesday. Yahooooo