Anyone really just like the idea of domination

[ataxia.girl]

So, because you're owned, you lose the ability to define yourself? Because you're owned, you lose that basic human right?

Possibly? i honestly don't know. i've been owned and continued to try and define myself in contrast to my owner's definition of me and definitely run into problems. This is actually something i've been thinking about a lot lately.

Anyway all i was saying was that at the very least i would think it be the PYL and pyl together doing the defining rather than the pyl alone but perhaps that is really only true in a TPE type relationship and not all D/s dynamics. i mean i don't know.... it does seem like submission would partly include submitting to your PYL's definition of submission. In any case everything i've seen Empress write those she serves find her perfectly submissive. i was not trying to imply she isn't submissive at all.

Personally i am learning to accept my bottomhood in that despite a lack of limits i do not wish to be a completely malleable piece of clay to be molded into whatever my PYL wants me to be. i do wish to lose my ego at times in a state of ecstatic surrender but i recognize that i want to do it within a certain framework and that has frustrated a few Dominants and confused me as well.

 

[EmpressFi]

Just to clear the air, I only serve on person. But I am married to Malin so I can see the confusion

I was telling Keeper_of_Fi, my Master, the conversation and liked what he said,

"the things she said are kinda what you say, if you cut away the extra words, you decide who you are but you also try to fit yourself to my description of what I want you to be, but I also accept who you are, its a dance"

A long time ago, he told me that I needed to remember that I was the one with the power, and maybe that's where to me, it's my decision the type of submissive I am. He told me that I had all the power because it was up to me, it was MY decision if a requirement was something I could live with. For example, if he wanted it to be that every time we were together, he could urinate in my mouth first thing in the morning (not saying it's wrong for everyone, but that it's one of my freak-out, really gross, no way ever, hard limits). It would be my decision to say why I didnt think I could live with that and if that was a deal breaker, then I could go.

When I first started posting here instead of lurking, and when Master and I got together, I would see the people who are in TPE or who have a different type of relationship and wonder if I was doing it right. I spent a LOT of time asking him if I pleased him, was I doing what he wanted. He encourages me to speak my mind, he finds my sarcasm endearing, he loves my submission, but he does not wish to have a doormat as his submissive.

I guess that's why I said that the submissive decides what defines their submission. If a dominant wants you to do something you just cant, in being true to yourself, do, then you DO have the right to leave that relationship and find a dominant who accepts that you cant do that or stay and work through what compromise you can live with.

 

[SubKekiLee]

i would say the only one who can determine what submissive is or isn't would at least be a combination of the pyl and PYL together, it not soley the PYL, but certainly not the pyl alone if owned i think.

The PYL doesnt ever make this decision Ill tell you why.. Cause the submissive holds the key to this journey she holds all the cards... Ill show you why.. My Sir has told me all along..

in regards to ownership..

Just my 2 cents. Ownership is but a word. It is the definition we associate with the word that gives it meaning. To "own" something, to me, says I have a responsibility to care for and protect that "item" at all costs. To me this is a "thing" that can be sold or traded. In my mind, there is no way to "own" another person.

To submit is another story all together. If one decides to submit to me and I decide to collar said person then they give them selves to me freely with the trust, understanding, compassion and love that we both deserve. To betray that is not in line with this lifestyle.

DS
A new pet in training is a wonder to behold.

My heart ,Soul and this journey are his I feel more at home nothing feels more right to me then serving him and he knows this and feels this as well.. and has felt this since day1....

 

[ataxia.girl]

What both of you have said makes perfect sense to me and i agree. It also goes a long way to convincing me that i am not really all that submissive. i wish to be dominated for sure and i am also very obedient but i do not surrender my soul easily even to a Dominant i love and when i do it is often temporary.

My personal kink revolves around being property. Property with no rights but also without the burden of having to willingly submit. Don't misunderstand me. i do not require my Dominant to physically force me to submit, i am mechanically very obedient but i have a hard time surrendering my mind and heart, in fact i delight in trying to conquer my Dominant's heart and mind but am disappointed if i am so successful he is no longer in charge.

Something that has frustrated Dominants who play with me is that i actually am willing to cross so many lines; blood, scat, whoring, etc but i always want to do it in the framework of being a little girl and i am insanely stubborn about this. i don't even want to say it is real ageplay because i don't really play up the role play that much beyond using a few key words to make it feel right and keeping the clothing on the more innocent side but i do require things from my Dominant that are very little girlish. Remind me constantly to keep the rules so i know you are paying attention to me. Pay attention to me. Pay attention to me. Pay attention to me. Say sweet things to me at the same time you are applying ben gay to my clit and pliers to my nipples. Keep me safe from myself because i am a reckless and impulsive little girl but don't make my cage so small or my leash so short that i hate you.

i define myself as a toy; wind me up, push the buttons and see what happens.

 

[VelvetDarkness]

i would say the only one who can determine what submissive is or isn't would at least be a combination of the pyl and PYL together, it not soley the PYL, but certainly not the pyl alone if owned i think.

Now that I am a slave, my submission is defined in terms of what my Master wants from me. Things that he has no desire for or interest in are no longer a part of me. I also think that it was defined at the beginning when I yielded my ownership to him because I was careful to choose a Master who wants the kind of slave that I am. I wouldn't say that I'm wholly defined by him but equally, my slavery is not something that exists in any form that is separate from his influence and whim.

I guess we define each other. My qualities and limits as a slave shape the style of his dominance and vice versa.

I know it's always said that subs and slaves hold all the aces but for us it simply doesn't work that way. A car does not control a driver just because it has needs and limits. The same goes for us as a couple. I am valued and maintained as his property but that is as far as I influence Master on a daily basis.