are you a dom or sub

[catalina_francisco]

I don't think I could have said it better myself. I am a nurturer by nature, I have to be a tough ass broad at school and in previous jobs. It is not who I want to be but it is who I have to be sometimes.

I don't know about the jealousy thing, I hae never been in that position. I can completely picturing myself getting very upset if I knew I was hurting someone, even if I know they want to be hurt that way.

But this is where it becomes subjective as to what nurturer/nurture actually means. If someone is a masochist and you are placed in the position of inflicting pain on them which gives them new experiences and growth as a masochist and/or sub, as well as pleasure on some level, cannot that then be seen as nurturing them while also submitting to the one who has ordered you to perform this act?

Catalina

 

[catalina_francisco]

It was an interesting thread to follow, as for enjoyment i think you did lol

LOL, I enjoyed finding I could do it safely, give pleasure through pain such as I am used to enjoying, and all on my first attempt without feeling a need to be reassured or encouraged throughout to complete what was demanded. It took a lot of head work to prepare for it, initially something which was difficult to consider because I was thinking more inside the box than outside of it, but when it came down to accepting it was a form of submission as well as pleasing someone who wanted to be part of the experience, it became easier to accept and embrace.

Catalina

 

[BiBunny]

But this is where it becomes subjective as to what nurturer/nurture actually means. If someone is a masochist and you are placed in the position of inflicting pain on them which gives them new experiences and growth as a masochist and/or sub, as well as pleasure on some level, cannot that then be seen as nurturing them while also submitting to the one who has ordered you to perform this act?

Catalina

You're right. There are a number of ways to look at it, and I truly believe everybody has the ability to Top or bottom outside his or her normal orientation. It just varies from person to person on what brings it out. That's why I find it so easy to Top B. when he wants me to. It's not a huge change in our dynamic to me. He wants me to do it, so I do it. Simple.

 

[northwoods_sub]

But this is where it becomes subjective as to what nurturer/nurture actually means. If someone is a masochist and you are placed in the position of inflicting pain on them which gives them new experiences and growth as a masochist and/or sub, as well as pleasure on some level, cannot that then be seen as nurturing them while also submitting to the one who has ordered you to perform this act?

Catalina

I can see that. I think at this point the logic just conflict in my head.
As a masochistic sub I need that pain. I am eternally grateful that I have someone in my life that is willing to inflict said pain. I will have to think on this some more.

(wanders off to contemplate this idea)

 

[mickyp123]

LOL, I enjoyed finding I could do it safely, give pleasure through pain such as I am used to enjoying, and all on my first attempt without feeling a need to be reassured or encouraged throughout to complete what was demanded. It took a lot of head work to prepare for it, initially something which was difficult to consider because I was thinking more inside the box than outside of it, but when it came down to accepting it was a form of submission as well as pleasing someone who wanted to be part of the experience, it became easier to accept and embrace.

Catalina

i find that aspect, thinking inside and outside of the box as you put it quite interesting, its a minefield, and in a way it seems that bits about the way people are wired can be changed

 

[the captians wench]

But this is where it becomes subjective as to what nurturer/nurture actually means. If someone is a masochist and you are placed in the position of inflicting pain on them which gives them new experiences and growth as a masochist and/or sub, as well as pleasure on some level, cannot that then be seen as nurturing them while also submitting to the one who has ordered you to perform this act?

Catalina

I think this is why I enjoy it up until they don't any more. The trick for me is to learn to not get carried away and stop before they need me to stop. That way I don't have that crash at the end.

 

[mickyp123]

I can see that. I think at this point the logic just conflict in my head.
As a masochistic sub I need that pain. I am eternally grateful that I have someone in my life that is willing to inflict said pain. I will have to think on this some more.

(wanders off to contemplate this idea)

aha temporary short circuit lol

 

[catalina_francisco]

You're right. There are a number of ways to look at it, and I truly believe everybody has the ability to Top or bottom outside his or her normal orientation. It just varies from person to person on what brings it out. That's why I find it so easy to Top B. when he wants me to. It's not a huge change in our dynamic to me. He wants me to do it, so I do it. Simple.

LOL, well I must admit, I did love that F was in awe of how well he thought I did, even going to say in some areas he thought I was better than him or at least equal. Given the amount of shit I gave him initially about wanting me to do it, I think he was surprised I went straight into it and even had some unexpected variations up my sleeve he had never thought of (he refused to help me in terms of preparing what or how I would do it). He also loved I was continually observing how my willing victim was reacting and whether it was time to stop or go on.

Catalina

 

[mickyp123]

LOL, well I must admit, I did love that F was in awe of how well he thought I did, even going to say in some areas he thought I was better than him or at least equal. Given the amount of shit I gave him initially about wanting me to do it, I think he was surprised I went straight into it and even had some unexpected variations up my sleeve he had never thought of (he refused to help me in terms of preparing what or how I would do it). He also loved I was continually observing how my willing victim was reacting and whether it was time to stop or go on.

Catalina

the "unexpected variations" maybe like getting an engine to run, then it revs up on its own, and makes you think about what is going on inside

 

[catalina_francisco]

the "unexpected variations" maybe like getting an engine to run, then it revs up on its own, and makes you think about what is going on inside

I think what made it easier too was I picked male subs who had almost identical needs/wants as me, and whose desires were fuelled in very much the same way. That made it so much easier to connect mentally, know what was dreamed about, understand that pushing the boundaries were certainly where they wanted to be, and that the first one especially was very unlikely to safeword because of that desire. Of course, he was a great photographic subject too which added lots to the experience for me.

Catalina

 

[LadyAmor]

Sub

 

[jadefirefly]

Sub here.

 

[mickyp123]

I think what made it easier too was I picked male subs who had almost identical needs/wants as me, and whose desires were fuelled in very much the same way. That made it so much easier to connect mentally, know what was dreamed about, understand that pushing the boundaries were certainly where they wanted to be, and that the first one especially was very unlikely to safeword because of that desire. Of course, he was a great photographic subject too which added lots to the experience for me.

Catalina

Seems like you got taken to a sweet shop and had a dip lol

 

[mickyp123]

Sub

yep it's a nice AV

 

[mickyp123]

Sub here.

have you ever tried to be a domme?

 

[Teenage_Head]

sub

 

[EmpressFi]

smitten kitten er sub here

 

[PrimalGirl]

I am a sub. I do not mind being a bit "toppy" at times

 

[mickyp123]

I am a sub. I do not mind being a bit "toppy" at times

toppy is cool....YAY

 

[reignophelia]

Can I declare "undecided"? Or maybe I should just admit that I can't make up my mind. Maybe I should just concede that I'm one of those middle of the road, score a "3" on the Kinsey Scale, very cliche bisexual switches. Maybe. -Haven't decided yet.

 

[mickyp123]

Can I declare "undecided"? Or maybe I should just admit that I can't make up my mind. Maybe I should just concede that I'm one of those middle of the road, score a "3" on the Kinsey Scale, very cliche bisexual switches. Maybe. -Haven't decided yet.

Undecided is ok but walking the narrow fence could be painful if you slip lol,

 

[reignophelia]

Undecided is ok but walking the narrow fence could be painful if you slip lol,

LOL

Hello Dragon. I'll be careful. Thank you for the warning.

 

[dexwebster]

Little of Column A, little of Column B. Column C when I can get it.

 

[mickyp123]

Little of Column A, little of Column B. Column C when I can get it.

thats lost me

 

[mickyp123]

LOL

Hello Dragon. I'll be careful. Thank you for the warning.

Lol, if you see the way you want to jump, be different and go the other way
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