At Last, a positive BDSM slant on TV

[FurryFury]

I didn't read the blog other than to scan it and haven't watched the show, but some of the comments kind of, well, annoy me.

Everyone's journey in BDSM will bring them different things and they express that in different ways. Sometimes I read my own words in my journal and I wonder how "unrealistic" they sound to others, but I end up realizing I don't care, because the journey is my own, as are the results. Ma'am and I are happy, and I enjoy sharing those feelings with others and often times, bringing others inspiration when they relate to what I have to share. Some of my words to describe my feelings are very intense and I often speak in a very romaticized way because what I'm feeling is so powerful. That's only part of the whole...the realism and common sense is still present, even if I don't choose to reiterate those things in every post I make.

There will never be a movie, a website, a TV show...that accurately protrays BDSM as there IS no accurate protrayal IMO. It's such an individual experience. Some people very much connect to the need to use upper/lower case in their online talk...others find it ridiculous. Some, like me, are right in the middle. I use it when speaking directly to Ma'am as it's a little way for us to feel more connected over the distance, but I find it ridiculous as a general rule or when forced on others. Who's to say what is "right"? I hate this seeming need to so starkly define and categorize what is such a personal thing.

Don't be so quick to pass judgement based on a tiny glimpse into someone else's lifestyle. Your own protrayal of it may seem just as "inaccurate" to many people as hers does to you.

Well said. I agree with you about this. That's why I simply noted I didn't like or agree with the whole of what she had to say but each to their own.

Fury

 

[neonflux]

Wish I did. I used to live in Mill Valley, however, I am on the other end of the country though. Have you thought of contacting the Society of Janus? They are a great local group. Just a thought

Too bad you're so far away. Re: Janus Society, am actually joining next month at the first of the month - already signed up for the orientation.

 

[JMohegan]

The reason I thought it was positive is because on shows like CSI or others, they always show BDSM as some evil dark nasty practice that only sickies do or disturbed persons. It was just nice to see the women portrayed as "normal" not necessarily mainstream, but not as freaks like we usually see on TV or in the movies.

Thanks for responding to my question. This helps me understand our different perspectives.

I hardly ever watch TV other than news or a ball game, and rarely see BDSM portrayed in film. My sense of how the "mainstream" views BDSM has been formed by many conversations with non-BDSM people. The two most prevalent negative stereotypes about BDSM that I have heard are:

1 - It's just unscrupulous, uncaring men taking advantage of women with low self esteem.

2 - It's just role play.



To the extent that genuine affection between Alene and her master are conveyed in the blog and/or program, that may help in addressing the fallacious assumption about unscrupulous, uncaring men.

However, to me her description of what's going on really does read like role play. Quite simply, I just don't believe that her description of the level of control her master asserts over her life is true.

I was discussing this blog with a female friend of mine this weekend. (She is the submissive wife of a longtime friend of mine.) Her comment: "Oh my god, it sounds like that old commercial. Calgon, take me away!"

I lol'd, because she nailed it for me. You know those old commercials in which the kids are screaming & the husband is nagging and the woman goes in the bathroom and pours bath powder or gel or whatever the heck that stuff is in the tub, and then gets in and the scene changes to flowers, waterfalls, fluffy clouds and cute little bunnies?

Nobody expects the Calgon woman to stay in her dream world if the house catches on fire or one of the kids falls down a flight of stairs or dinner is three hours overdue. The Calgon bath is just a temporary escape to a fantasy world. Nothing more or less. And that's *my interpretation* of Alene's description of her Master/slave relationship, read in conjunction with the bio posted at the WE TV link.

 

[O'Mac]

I didn't read the blog other than to scan it and haven't watched the show, but some of the comments kind of, well, annoy me.

Everyone's journey in BDSM will bring them different things and they express that in different ways. Sometimes I read my own words in my journal and I wonder how "unrealistic" they sound to others, but I end up realizing I don't care, because the journey is my own, as are the results. Ma'am and I are happy, and I enjoy sharing those feelings with others and often times, bringing others inspiration when they relate to what I have to share. Some of my words to describe my feelings are very intense and I often speak in a very romaticized way because what I'm feeling is so powerful. That's only part of the whole...the realism and common sense is still present, even if I don't choose to reiterate those things in every post I make.

There will never be a movie, a website, a TV show...that accurately protrays BDSM as there IS no accurate protrayal IMO. It's such an individual experience. Some people very much connect to the need to use upper/lower case in their online talk...others find it ridiculous. Some, like me, are right in the middle. I use it when speaking directly to Ma'am as it's a little way for us to feel more connected over the distance, but I find it ridiculous as a general rule or when forced on others. Who's to say what is "right"? I hate this seeming need to so starkly define and categorize what is such a personal thing.

Don't be so quick to pass judgement based on a tiny glimpse into someone else's lifestyle. Your own protrayal of it may seem just as "inaccurate" to many people as hers does to you.

Well, I would say that there are the obvious wannabe movies and television shows that TRY to show a generalised point of view from a BDSM prespective, but you're right when we are presented with one particular way of doing things and having that somehow labeled as something definitive. Of course, it's always interesting to see how other's see the lifestyle as well. I have seen some pretty good shows that touch base on it from time to time. Sin Cities hosted with Grub Smith and some other English wanker is pretty good. They basically travel all across the globe and doing all sorts of sexually-oriented things from partaking in a Bangkok Nude Massage with two women to inserting a cellphone up a women's vagina and ordering a pizza through it. Obviously the show is more funny than informative, but it's all good.

 

[esclave_PP]

Too bad you're so far away. Re: Janus Society, am actually joining next month at the first of the month - already signed up for the orientation.

True enough re: distance. Enjoy the Society! Great group of folks there

 

[esclave_PP]

Thanks for responding to my question. This helps me understand our different perspectives.

Nobody expects the Calgon woman to stay in her dream world if the house catches on fire or one of the kids falls down a flight of stairs or dinner is three hours overdue. The Calgon bath is just a temporary escape to a fantasy world. Nothing more or less. And that's *my interpretation* of Alene's description of her Master/slave relationship, read in conjunction with the bio posted at the WE TV link.

You're welcome! How true is that about escaping to fantasy and considering it reality. I think we'd find that in any lifestyle though because there is so much of a "grass is always greener" attitude these days.

I believe that a big difference with folks who live and breathe BDSM (which I would say is most of the folks here), meaning they live with their Dominant/sub/slave or are just involved with them on a regular basis, or some type of similar relationship, is that we don't dream it, we try and "be" it. It becomes a natural part of our lives like breathing.

In all honesty, we can't really know or assume what the dynamics really are between Alene's hubby and Master. Or can we assume the extent of his control over her vanilla life either. That remains between the three of them. What does puzzle me however is the sense of her being a bit of an automiton, like, "take me to your leader" type of being. But again, I don't know her, so it isn't really right of me to judge.

 

[neonflux]

In all honesty, we can't really know or assume what the dynamics really are between Alene's hubby and Master. Or can we assume the extent of his control over her vanilla life either. That remains between the three of them. What does puzzle me however is the sense of her being a bit of an automiton, like, "take me to your leader" type of being. But again, I don't know her, so it isn't really right of me to judge.

You know, another thing to consider... We don't know how much she was trying to "idealize" her relationship because she knew that this blog entry was going to be posted on a television web site. We also don't know how much influence the show's producers had as to it's content. Just a thought.

Oh, and can't wait to meet the Janus folks. A friend of mine is co-teaching a class that I'm taking on flogging with the Janus Society outreach/membership coordinator, so I'll get to meet him this Tuesday (Citadel).

 

[esclave_PP]

You know, another thing to consider... We don't know how much she was trying to "idealize" her relationship because she knew that this blog entry was going to be posted on a television web site. We also don't know how much influence the show's producers had as to it's content. Just a thought.

Oh, and can't wait to meet the Janus folks. A friend of mine is co-teaching a class that I'm taking on flogging with the Janus Society outreach/membership coordinator, so I'll get to meet him this Tuesday (Citadel).

Very good point. There could be quite a bit of editorial license involved. Didn't think of that.

Ooooooooooo fun! Enjoy the class! If you run into Master Luminate, please tell him hello for me! He would know me by either mollee or sargonette

 

[neonflux]

Ooooooooooo fun! Enjoy the class! If you run into Master Luminate, please tell him hello for me! He would know me by either mollee or sargonette

Will do! Hopefully with the class and lot's of practice (trying to work in 1/2 hour a day, on a pillow, and when I'm lucky with my BDSM partner - who in this case is patient but perhaps not so lucky as I), I'll finally become coordinated, LOL. Books & practice alone really don't do it.