Awkward Situations Poetry Challenge

More Embarrassing?

Well I dunno about awkward. Ridiculous maybe. They're mostly doddering and deaf as doorknobs. I can see it now. You wanna have sex? What? Huh? Lemmee put in my hearing aid. And take my heart medicine. (Bodes well for me, doesn't it?)

Oh and then there's Neal. You. Remember. Him. :mad:
 
Neal

Yes darling. I hyperventilate when I think about him. Actually, if I could borrow that gun....
 
My Relative Duress


Spring break comes. The highway calls,
Leading me to my ancestral abode.
Wind in my hair under blue cloud terrain,
Singing to music as my sports car slowed.

Normal circumstance, I'd say "Hi!"
As my parental units hug and kiss,
Then out all night under neon glow,
Forgetting who I am in champagne bliss.

But normal left the building three days ago.
Old Uncle Fazz and his new-found love,
A twenty-something, drawling, Southern belle
Got hitched at Mom's without a shove.

Into the maw of the front door gloom,
I flashed my best smile and shouted, "I'm home!"
Fazz was first as he bumbled up the stairs
Followed by Jessie, smiling like a gnome.

She was five foot five, not an ounce of fat;
Bounced more than wriggled in a perfect dance.
Green eyes glowed above sculpted cheeks.
My breasts soft tingled as they held her glance.

Fazz bussed my cheek. "So, how ya been?"
I blinked for a sec, assembling my thoughts,
But Jessie took my face and kissed me deep.
I stiffened and swayed as my eyes pushed at spots.

Sure, girls were fair game at least back at school,
But down at Mom's... Well, I think she'd object
Especially with Jessie, my new "Aunt," I think?
Scoping out her daughter like a science project.

Just then, my folks entered the foyer.
"You looked tired, dear. Don't you sleep at school?"
I yawned as Mom hugged and whispered to me,
"Take a nap 'til six. We'll eat by the pool."

Jess, quick as a cat as I climbed to my room
"Can I help you unpack?" Her innocent request.
I smiled best I could as she followed me up,
Suddenly conscious of my really short dress.

She opened my case and stuffed full the drawers,
"You must be tired. Clean up! I'll get this."
I tried to help, but insistence won out.
So, I stripped in the stall under warm shower's hiss.

The water felt great, but suddenly a breeze
Flew through the stall, and your guess is right,
Jessie climbed in, smiling, warm, naked…
And I wondered if my door was locked real tight.
 
I probably shouldn't do this, but I've never really bought into that whole "if you pick at it, it will never heal" theory. plus, I'm told chicks dig scars



that night had come, though many years later
than I thought it ought to have come
I enter the room not half expecting
the candle light to strike me dumb

she shut the door quickly, we were alone
the temperature started to climb
her intent was clear but in my dumb fear
she knew not it was my first time

some kind of magnets held us together
we moved together at a crawl
along I did play while she led the way
I knew she would show me it all

closer she got, and softer and warmer
as slowly we shed each layer
I kept at the game, hoping ever lame
she’d think I was a great player

I started exploring and wandering
I wanted to try everything
with no clothes left, we were fabric bereft
so just what was up with this string?

briefly brain dead, blood returned to my head
not knowing what to do or what should be said
was this normal for affairs of the bed or instead
was this “most heinous” in the words of bill or ted

it was probably best that from my chest
all traces of breath seemed to flee
since the words I was thinking may have been
“the sign says there’s no vacancy”

from the look on my face and my long pause
she suddenly began to see
my hesitation was probably not
in tribute to stanislovsky

her turn to feel dumb, she simply said “um”
and left the dim candle lit room
and when she returned the candles still burned
but the evening had met it’s doom

we still went to bed but not like before
this silence was a lot less fun
clinging together we both fell asleep
while candles went out one by one
 
WickedEve said:
I started to post this 2 or 3 months ago, and for some reason, I didn't do it. Fortunately, (or unfortunately lol) I saved it.

List:

Video
Plastic
Salsa
Cheese
Twist
Hickey
Boot
Fishnet
Moon
Grass
~
Elephant
Spider
Magenta
Horn
Ribbon
Cane
Flip
Swim
Vibrate
Club

[...[/i]

Bathroom/Bedroom

In my parents' house
is a bedroom with walls pink
situated next to
room of toilet, shower and sink.

Everytime I bounced
with boyfriend in my bed,
My dad would enter bathroom
and stop the passion dead.

The flimsy fake wood door,
separating rooms,
did not keep out the noise,
nor my dad's unique perfume.

It's hard to get your groove on
to hisses, farts and splatters,
especially when you know
he'll return soon with full bladder.

Poor lover freezes quietly,
as I hold my breath.
We're waiting for deliverance
from passion's sudden death.

And then my boyfriend whispers
"What does that man eat?!"
And I can only tell him
"Salsa, cheese, red meat..."

After an eternity
Dad has left the bathroom.
Lover and I relax,
try to silently resume.

But just ten minutes later
I hear dad's footsteps loud
and the screaming explosive sputter
of his gaseous magenta cloud.

I truly hoped my boyfriend
wouldn't dump me 'cause of Pa'.
After all, I can't control
the man's internal law.

Nonetheless terrified
of guilt by association
I apologized profusely
for Dad's bathroom demonstrations.

But if love can endure
through the bombs and open fire,
then we truly have encountered,
the jewel of heart's desire.

Yes, in my parents' house
there is a bedroom with walls pink,
situated next to
room of toilet, shower and sink.


--Xtaabay

:D :D :D
 
Re: Re: Awkward Situations Poetry Challenge

Xtaabay said:
Bathroom/Bedroom
.
.
.

A superb answer to the challenge.

That was just too darn funny. Very nicely done!
 
Re: Re: Re: Awkward Situations Poetry Challenge

OT said:
A superb answer to the challenge.

That was just too darn funny. Very nicely done!

Thankyou, thankyou very much :D

--Xtaabay
 
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