BDSM without D/s

[chatbug]

I wonder how many people out there are S/M pervs and really get into components of BDSM play, but don't especially care for the D/s trip so much.

There don't seem to be many on this board.

Pure already covered some aspects of S/M. I can easily picture a situation where the sadist is in control of the amount and duration of the pain inflicted on the masochist. I guess that makes the sadist "dominant".

I'm having trouble picturing a situation where the masochist is in control of the amount and duration of the pain, unless it's self-inflicted. I suppose the masochist could be in control of the situation, but that seems to reduce the sadist to the role of an intelligent pain machine.

Another situation is where the sadist sets things up so that the masochist has a choice of which pain to endure, or a choice of how long to endure it. I like to watch this, which I guess makes me somewhat sadistic.

 

[luvsubbbbb]

Re: What would help me here

What would help me here is if each of you would share what D/s means to you

What does it look like?

How are you defining the terms in your life/mind

D/s to me, Domination and submission, denotes a power exchange..........the control of One human being over another to whatever extent they mutually agree upon.......

S/m , Sadism and masochism is sexual kink play

in a non D/s relationship the kink play is used purely for physical sensation.......sure, the participants MAY go into Top and bottom space, but after the bonds are removed, the two are equals in every way........(from my experience, switches come from this group more prevalently than from D/s relationships because of the equality factor)

in a D/s relationship, kink play is more often than not a part of the dynamic, but does not necessarily have to be.......oftentimes the power exchange is mostly mental, with the physical control being exerted without pain, pleasurable or otherwise.......

 

[MzChrista]

I wonder how many people out there are S/M pervs and really get into components of BDSM play, but don't especially care for the D/s trip so much.

Anyone? Anyone?

To me SM is like sex and DS is like being in a relationship with someone you are in love with.
I am totally cool with SM without the DS. If a relationship happens thats another matter, but I dont need it to enjoy playing. But even playing has dom and sub in it,but not like I think you mean.

 

[MzChrista]

I like some aspects of all of it, but not the whole ball of wax. I tried the 24/7 thing before, and I started to grow resentful of his need to control every aspect of my life.

I like being used and controlled sexually, having my hair pulled and my ass spanked as I'm being fucked, being called a good little whore and slut, etc. I love having my mouth fucked and I'm kinda getting into facials, but I'm not into calling him Master or Sir, with the exception of special play sessions. I like some bondage, some hard nipple play, but I don't like intense pain.

In short, I think of human sexuality as a sort of smorgasbord for me and my partner to pick and choose from on a nightly basis.

Ok but I gotta tell you up front I am gonna be a disappointment to you on them facials.

 

[MzChrista]

Re: Re: BDSM without D/s

There don't seem to be many on this board.

Pure already covered some aspects of S/M. I can easily picture a situation where the sadist is in control of the amount and duration of the pain inflicted on the masochist. I guess that makes the sadist "dominant".

I'm having trouble picturing a situation where the masochist is in control of the amount and duration of the pain, unless it's self-inflicted. I suppose the masochist could be in control of the situation, but that seems to reduce the sadist to the role of an intelligent pain machine.

Another situation is where the sadist sets things up so that the masochist has a choice of which pain to endure, or a choice of how long to endure it. I like to watch this, which I guess makes me somewhat sadistic.

When i am at my club someone might come over and tell me they want to be whipped or spanked or whatever. If I feel like it, OK, we go up and do it. its all SM, they get what they want and I have fun. You can say they are in control since they can just walk away, but so can I, so I dont see it being a situation where control even comes into it.

 

[Rubyfruit]

Ok but I gotta tell you up front I am gonna be a disappointment to you on them facials.

*laughing*

Somehow, I think you'd make me forget all about them, MzChrista.

 

[monster666]

Talk about your Kodak Moments.

I think MzChrista is getting enough followers to start a MzChrista Boot Camp. Except when she says "drop and give me 20" no one will know 20 of what to expect from one time to the next.

*laughing*

Somehow, I think you'd make me forget all about them, MzChrista.

 

[Rubyfruit]

She is incredibly charismatic. Ummmhmmm.

 

[catalina_francisco]

LOL, couldn't resist this twist on recent discussions....maybe some can expand on the discussion.

Catalina

 

[Netzach]

SM is the bread in my PBand J, D/s could be likened to the peanut butter and jelly. It's all pretty basic to me.

However, I can take or leave the contents, and eat the bread. Without the bread we just have a big ol' mess.

I adore the submission of a good submissive. I don't always expect or demand it. I can wait a long time for it. I thrive with it. It changes and challenges and shapes me.

That said:

I can't wait a long time without doing something perverted to someone, in the hardcore meaty physical here and now realms, without beginning to feel out of order.

Particularly integral to me smiling a lot are foot worship, personal service, painplay, canings, and rope bondage to my aesthetic liking, latex clothing for that hug and sweat that makes me want to touch myself.

I consider myself a deviant sadist who knows how to handle adoration when someone's offering. A sensualist and a fetishist. A giant pervert, Dominant but not to the point where that overshadows or outstrips the perversion.

Pervert first, Domme second.

 

[catalina_francisco]

I consider myself a deviant sadist who knows how to handle adoration when someone's offering. A sensualist and a fetishist. A giant pervert, Dominant but not to the point where that overshadows or outstrips the perversion.

Pervert first, Domme second.

Sounds good to me...I'm partial to sadistic perversions myself. They can be so creative, yet also simple....so much depends on the moment and the participants.

Catalina

 

[Phoenix Stone]

SM is the bread in my PBand J, D/s could be likened to the peanut butter and jelly. It's all pretty basic to me.

However, I can take or leave the contents, and eat the bread. Without the bread we just have a big ol' mess.

Probably shouldn't even be posting here? Because obviously I love PB right out of the jar, by the spoonful, and bread, to me, is just uneccesary carbs.

I adore the submission of a good submissive. I don't always expect or demand it. I can wait a long time for it. I thrive with it. It changes and challenges and shapes me.

PLEASE demand it? I need to be demanded from -- but only by One I adore. (Have gotten remarkably good at avoiding saying yes automatically to those I dont, these days. )
I will interpret requests from the one I adore as demands anyway, and leap to please even if doing so breaks a leg, or I have to grit my teeth for 20 years putting up with something I hate -- and then I'll apologize for breaking my leg because it inconvenienced you and I should have known that you didn't want it more than the inconvenience of that broken leg, and for failing you by the teeth gritting when I should have enjoyed.

That said:

I can't wait a long time without doing something perverted to someone, in the hardcore meaty physical here and now realms, without beginning to feel out of order.

Need it physical and here and now (though don't need hardcore. Unsure about meaty -- Sounds good. )

Particularly integral to me smiling a lot are foot worship, personal service, painplay, canings, and rope bondage to my aesthetic liking, latex clothing for that hug and sweat that makes me want to touch myself.

Wish I had my list. Trying to find out. So far -- surprise force is one (if not a surprise, it probably wouldn't end up being force cuz I'd just go along with whatever it was. ). And simple, straightforward verbal commands, like 'on your knees.' I'd adore to adore. Then there's physical exposure, and I'd guess you'd call it confession -- being compelled to admit to liking and wanting things that I'd rather not admit. Biting is my sm, and wrists grabbed overhead, and ponytail required for grabbing my bondage, otherwise it's mental bondage for me. Being again, simply told to do things, hold still, shut up, stay in difficult positions.

I consider myself a deviant sadist who knows how to handle adoration when someone's offering. A sensualist and a fetishist. A giant pervert, Dominant but not to the point where that overshadows or outstrips the perversion.

Pervert first, Domme second.

Sensualist yes, fetishist, haven't found one except mental fetish for non-consent/reluctance. I consider myself just a plain ol' deviant, though perve will do in a pinch.
(And nice to see ya Netzach -- have missed your posts lately somehow, if you've been around. Will have to stalk your search all posts function as your one of my all-time faves.
Never boring, and a sister in weirdass humor, for the oh so required icing on the cake. Hell, these days in rl I throw out the all that pointless cake, so I'll have room for more icing.)